Log entry.....

I waited and waited, I stood floated above my gravestone in a trance. Waiting for something to happen, yet time past slowly and peacefully. Clouds float aways slowly, birds chirping and winds howling.

'Should I try to fly upward and maybe i'll get into heaven?' I thought. So I tried yo fly upward, but it seems like I cant fly. I noticed that I can only float two stories high. Slowly I floated by to the ground.

'It seems like a ghost cant actually fly'. I waited till dusk, yet only the color of the sky changed.

'Since nothing is happening, I'll just go back home then.' So I began floating towards home.

As I float on the sidewalk, I passed down on a clothing shop. It reminds me, I have an ethereal body. I look into the glass display's reflection and saw my misty body and my transparent face on top.

'It would be nice If I have a proper body' I thought. I tried to imagine a human body with clothes on. As I began focusing, i felt changes on my body. Fingers were starting to form, then my limbs And body.

I looked into the reflection on the glass once more and I saw myself, wearing a white long sleeve shirt and a white pants. I was barefooted and I notice my hair has mixture of my black and white.

'Huh, I look like an innocent ghost, or maybe a patient from a hospital.' I commented on my newly formed body.

I stretch my arms to see if they felt the same and they were. I started walking and the sensation was different, I didn't feel rough and it feel like I'm walking on glass. It also doesnt have any temperature at all.

Now that I noticed, I can feel the wind flow but It doesn't have any temperature. Somehow, this feeling is strange.

As I was trying to understand myself, I heard people talking. I looked to my side and saw a student couple talking while their hands were linked. I stood there and didn't moved, they got closer and walked through me.

I only stood there without moving. Staring at blank air.

'........'

Seeing that couple, it reminded me that I wont be able to do that anymore. I felt the urge to cry yet tears don't seem to form. 'I wonder if I can cry like a living person.'

Well... Let's continue going home. I resumed walking while trying to see if I can change my clothe, somehow I can change to my school uniform but it the image seems to overlaps.

Its like I'm wearing two set of clothes at the same time. Imagine you can see my white clothes on your left eye and my school uniform on your right eye, that kind of thing. After some time, I stopped doing that and stayed with the white clothes.

As I got closer home, the crimson sky has been replaced with night sky. It seems like I took time walking. Few more minutes and I have arrived home.

I stared on our front door, I'm not sure if i'm supposed to be going home. I know it's my home for the past almost 17 years of my life but.... It feels different now. The living me is gone.

I mustered my courage and walked onto the door, and I passed through. I looked around and saw our home dark. The lights were turned off. I can hear a feint cry from my room.

I walked around our home, and saw my aunt sitting on the sofa wearing my baseball hat. She was my moms younger sister and she always took care of us. Rather than an aunt, she felt more like an older sister.

Her face has tears, flowing like a waterfall. I felt my soul trembled. It seems I kept giving them nothing but sadness.

'Sigh- I'm sorry' I spoke, even though they wont hear me.

I went to check my little sister's room and saw my dad hugging her tightly, yet gently. Hugging her closely as if not letting her go forever. Her sleeping face has this comfy look.

I left my sister's room and walked to where the crying sounds came from. Laying down on my bed was my mom. Crying while hugging my pillow, holding my shirt and my picture.

Tear drenched bed, heartbroken cries, a dim house, a lost presence.

.........

Sorry.

......log end