Log entry...

Morning of the fifth day, people are carrying me to a car designed to carry casket. Dad and my uncles were carrying it slowly. Unconsciously, my misty ethereal self seems to sway towards my body, like there's a string attached to me from my body. Well if I focused enough, It seems I can actually resist the small force.

After the caskets was placed at the back of the car, the car accelerate slowly. People wearing white clothes started walking after the car. The destination seems to be the small church in our area, its gonna be a fifteen minutes walk from were they started. While they were walking, Mom and my girl was just behind the car.

She was crying again with my girl. I wanted to comfort them but, my message wont get through. Even if I tried to touch them, they don't feel anything at all. It's a good thing dad and my girl's parent were able to calm them again. I don't think my soul could calm if they kept crying.

What I notice in the past days was, emotions can also affect me. I get drawn to people who cries, felt genuine frustrations and grief. Also, kids who isn't aware about death or doesn't have knowledge about it seems to unconsciously see or hear me.

Last night. I was able to convey a message to my mom and girlfriend by saying this to my girl's little brother. At the time, little brother was alone on the garden so I attempted to talk to him.

'Hey, why are you alone?' I asked. He was playing with two hero figures, not looking at me.

"They were crying and sad. I don't like it inside. Do you know why?"

'It's because i'll be leaving soon'

"To where? Are you gonna leave my sister?"

'Of course not. I'll be looking out for them' he was still playing with his toys.

'Hey, little bro. Can you do me a favor? Protect you sister always, okay?'

"I thought you will protect my sister forever? Well my dad already said the same thing so i'll protect her too"

'Thank you. And one more thing... Can you say to my mom and your sister that I love them.'

At that time, he immediately looked back. He had a questioning look back then. I guess he was wondering how I was suddenly gone but I was actually in front of him the whole time. He looked around in the garden to search for me but, he quickly gave up. I bet he thought we were playing hide and seek. This little guy is actually bad at that game. He cant find me or her sister easily whenever we play hide and seek.

A good boy that he was, he went inside sneakily. Walked towards his sister and my mom and said the words I words I wanted to convey.

I thought they will calm down and stop crying....... They started to bawl again. I think my plan got back fired. The brother got hugged tightly and he had that annoyed face. I'm sorry little bro, not my plan. Well at least I got the message through.

...........

Right now, the casket was place on the middle of church. A priest was having a sermon and prayers for me. The talked continued for half an hour before he could finally end the ceremony. The final act of the prayer is to spray holy water onto the casket.

"May you find peace in heaven" he said as he swung his hand with holy water.

The priest has gave you his blessing!

Holy Blessing buff 60m duration.

Increase atk by 120, increase def by 120.

Yeeeaah I'm sorry. I just got an urge to say that. Well it was getting a little depressing so you know, maybe make you laugh again. Ahaha... No? Okay... Sorry.

I peeked inside the casket and I saw myself wearing a neat black suit, it's one of those suit you wore for work or job interview. What i'll say might be stupid but, I really look good on those. This might be the best look I had for my whole life....... Scratch that I wasnt able to wear it while I was a live.

Once again, they carried me to the car again, but this time, no one will be walking. It'll be a ten minute drive to the cemetery. I guess its almost time for me to stopped staying on the surface. People started to get inside their cars and followed behind where the car with the casket.

We've arrived to the place were i'll be buried, my grave. When I saw the the hole on the earth, I had this feeling of terror. My thought were 'Will I ascend to heaven when this is all done?' Or 'i'll vanish suddenly?‘.

Once again, my casket was placed near the grave. They gave a farewell speech, placed flowers on my casket, and placed items like my necklace, wristwatch and my music player inside the casket. Those were my favorite stuff, huh.

The time has come for me to descend. They place the casket above the grave, then they slowly put me down using some sort of belt.

After they I was placed under the ground, they passed the shovel to my dad. Dad the stabbed the pile of dirt beside the grave, somehow his hands were trembling, like lifting a really heavy boulder. It all his might, he swung the shovel gently as possible, soil splashing on the casket.

Afterward, dad passed the shovel to my uncles and relatives, while they were filling the grave slowly. Mom and the women in the place threw flowers.

Halfway filled. Mom fainted, and my girl lost strength on her knees. I guess this is too much for them huh. Maybe at this moment they realize that i'm really gone. They wont be able to see me physically. They'll only be able to see me on pictures, or just a memory. My voice wont be heard. My touch wont be felt. My presence vanished.

It took a few minutes until they filled my grave, and placed my grave stone. Afterwards my family and the people left, leaving only my uncles to finish the final process of my grave.

........

Even though the i've been buried, given prayers and said goodbye to them, i'm still here waiting on my grave. Waiting to maybe float upward or maybe glow and vanished..... Nothing happened. I'm still floating here.

I kinda panicked a bit because, i'm still on Earth. Am I not supposed to be going to Heaven? Is there no messenger or an angel picking me up? Is there no reincarnation or maybe after life? Nothing???

Or maybe i still have regrets that's why I cant ascend or move on? Am I gonna be a lingering spirit?

I don't know what to do now. Please help?

....log end