A zombie apocalypse

My botnet. Hundreds of thousand bots. What a feeling. A buzz sounded out. The smartphone that vibrated on the table shook him out of his thoughts, and because of that, he flailed uncontrollably in his chair until he could calm himself down. Motherfucker! I hope it’s important! Cursing while grabbing his phone, he but stopped because of his left hand that was in a bag of chips before to which he cursed once more after wiping his hand on his t-shirt. Damn! That is my favorite shirt!

Unlocking his phone after many tries did not improve his mood in the slightest. So with a click of his tongue, he opened the Telegram app to see who the motherfucker was that disturbed him. Oh? Finally a mission! Reading the message from the secret chat did the trick to improve his mood.

“So who is on it?” Typed he with a wide grin as he thought about the task, however his grin transformed into a frown as he thought about a particular person. Motherfucker! Hope that bastard isn’t on board. Just because I’m using tools! Fuck that motherfucker!

An invite was sent to him, “Join discord: https://discord.gg/UT9eKNf”, and with a reminder, “take a look at the list in ‘stay-put’. And pls for the love of God use the fcking VPN!!!” Why discord of all places? Shrugging he put the thought behind him and activated his bought ProtonVPN service, the police will never get me, before he joined the discord server.

The channel ‘stay-put’ welcomed him in its generic way. He ignored it and begun reading the ‘mission debriefing’. Seconds after he completed reading the debriefing, a message popped up from this motherfucker. Damn that bastard is on it, too!

“Fuck You! Wiz0f0z! Go suck some dicks instead”, typed he in the channel as he remembered what the bastard did to him. Fucking smug wiz.

“Oh? You want to offer your girls skid? :upside_down: : wink: : yum:” Countered a clone of ‘Wiz0f0z’ playfully, as he unleashed another burn by rubbing more salt into ‘K1ng43x’s wound, “K1ng43x in the end I will get all your girls : stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:”

Before ‘K1ng43x’ could type his aggressive thoughts on ‘Wiz0f0z’, ‘Edict62656e65’ popped up, “ALL OF YOU STOP THAT! RETARDS VOICE CHAT!!!!11” Eh. We have a voice chat?

Taking a quick look at the voice channel ‘op-zombie-apocalypse’ he wasted no time to connect to it.

“Yo. King, new girls?” Hearing a deep voice after connecting, King made a disgusting face.

“Fuck of -”, but King was interrupted by ‘Wiz0f0z’ as he challenged King, “Really? Hehe. You cannot hide your girls from me. I am The Wizard! I will get all you little zombie girls. I promise you this after the operation.”

Fearing the worse at the ‘challenge’ threat, King tried to reason with the Wizard. “Damn! Chill dude! I will give you a new girl I got yesterday! And the best is, she is 15 dude!” Please, don’t steal my bots.

“Idiots! What did I send to you both earlier? Always the same with you two, what are you? Married? You know the mission guys, so prep everything. Let me know if you all are ready for the first wave in 3 hours.” Came the cold voice from ‘ Edict62656e65’ who reminded them of the mission they have got.

“Sorry, Eddie. So how much is the reward?” King leaned himself forward in his chair as he could imagine the possible money sum he would get after the completion of the mission.

“How many zombies do you got, King?”

“100.000 zombies.” Told King with great confidence as he was proud of his zombie army.

“Pff! Just 100.000?! What did you infect anyway? Haha! Pathetic! Just pathetic!” Laughing at King’s ‘confidence’ was Wizard.

“Shut up! I bound my server with the executable of jRAT and just sold it to some Script-Kiddies at ‘hacker forums’.” Elaborated King his perfect plan. After all, Script-Kiddies are the best victims. They collect for me the slaves while I am sitting on my throne. Ha!

Wizard laughed so hard as if he could die at any moment by lack of oxygen, while Eddie said nothing for a short moment.

“Get on the preparations. First wave will be lead by King. Second Wizard. Last wave the rest of our group will join us to combine our output. Understood?”

“Yes, sir! Hehe.”

“Y-yeah.”

John knew with certainty that he forgot to thank his sister to which he felt guilty about. My sister and I were very close before, but since I moved out of the house, it wasn’t the same bond anymore we both once had. Closing his eyes for a little moment to push all his distractions aside, he took a brief pause to concentrate on his breathing as he used the knowledge he gained from his Zen master to regain his inner calmness. 1. 2. 3. 4. Pause. Hold it. 5. 6. 7. Exhale. 8. Repeat 4 times. The memory of how his Zen master instructed him at meditation popped up in his mind at the breathing exercise.

His inner calmness restored he took his laptop out of his backpack and turned it on. He chose to boot Windows 7 up, while he made himself comfortable on the chair. My back needs this chair. He knew that the launcher of the MMORPG was scheduled on startup, so he waited for it to finish the login process. After the login, he chose to play with his high-level PvP character to relief some stress he accumulated after finishing the thesis at the last moment. Never doing it again.

After the world finished loading, he was alerted by the game of messages from his fellow PvP guild member. “Yesterday I killed two noobs in their own allied village ” Of course, you are manic who want to kill everything that moves. The next messages read, “Even as high level NPC were trying to kill me ” and, “Hey, I found a girl in game lol. She’s sweet dude but her pics wow ”

John could only shake his head at this fool, while he whispered the guy asking him after a good PvP location where he could vent his stress on unsuspecting newbies.

In the in game chat, he saw that the guy whispered something more after the location. “MyBigSwordWillKill whispered you: Hey, I sent you the girl’s nude pic. Take a look at Skype. Thank me later ” What’s with this guy… Even thinking him a fool, he opened Skype and saw that the guild member did send him the photo. Wait a moment. What the actual fuck? That isn’t a png file or other formats. No. It’s just an executable with an image ico as an icon for the file. Really?

“Are u shitting me???”

“She is hot yeah. I will try to get her to meet me irl ” Was his only answer to which he facepalmed so hard that it slapped loudly.

He tried to ignore the file completely as he moved his character to the location, but he could not really shake himself out of his curiosity and ultimately closed the game. He downloaded the file in a shared folder for virtual machines. However, before he could complete the download his internet connection was interrupted. Telekom with their problems. Should have convinced mom to change the internet provider. As he waited for his router to successfully connect, he noticed how many minutes already passed; suspecting something fishy, he pondered why it needed so long, the problem is on their end. I know that such a problem is not a rarity in Telekom, but to need more than 30 minutes already is unacceptable.

Because he had nothing to do, he took out his smartphone and tried to connect with the mobile data to check online. What?! Even the LTE is down? Could it be maintenance? Not possible, else they would announce it before and even then it couldn't be that the complete LTE is down, too. Right? Am I the only one? I need to check the situation asap.

“Shitty Telekom!” On the way out of the house, he heard his sister cursing at her lost connection to the world wide web. There should be a spot where the Vodafone LTE is reachable. He hurried himself through the streets as he neared a popular café. Arriving in a nick of time he connected his phone to the LTE and could successfully browse. So let's see… Error 503. Telekom website down too?! That’s… - A couple nearby shook him out of his thoughts, “- huh? My handy cannot connect to the FreeWifi of Cologne? Strange, earlier I could surf.” Said the man to the woman, while she too tried to connect to the Wifi. What could possibly cause such disturbance? Internal problems? They aren’t really incompetent to such a degree. No, it must be something external. But what? Shit, forget it, I will just go home and take nap. There is nothing to do but to wait for more information. Shrugging his shoulders he went home.

After waking up from a 90 minutes sleep, he went again to the café to check the news on his smartphones. The first headline of a news article read: “DDoS-Attack on Telekom brings German internet down” Well, shit.