I sighed as I read the reports on my celly. The small, advanced communication device was the best that science offered. Small, lightweight, power-efficient, and most importantly, durable.

I hated it. The screen was too small and moving your finger to do stuff was always to slow. I also had to carry it. What the hell was this shit?

Wait. Did that make sense?

{Your choice wording does indeed make sense. 21st-century speech is correct.}

Cortana whispered as she focused on my calibrating my internal systems. This was the last time we would have full access to a workshop for a long time.

I looked up at the ceiling to vent my frustrations. I fixed problems for a living, and problems usually had me in rough situations. Though that rarely did anything great for my overall health.

Today’s assignment was simple enough. Temporal Desyncs was not a new issue. At least not new if your timeline was in the upper half the temporal zones.

That historical moment was when the Large Hadron Collider found the Higgs Boson, and then it promptly broke time. Not that they would ever realize it for another two and a half centuries.

It was a fluke.

There was an extra electron in that moment of impact that should have not been there. Or perhaps, it was destined to be there.

24 zones, each a century apart that coincides with the year of the lord.

I stared at the date. April 1st, 4417. Projected in holographic, high-density lights.

I needed to hit 2017, 3017, and 4017. There were detected anomalies that shouldn’t have been there. They could have been caused by almost anything. Even today, over 400 years later, the layers between the zones of reality were still fragile.

They needed another 187 years before the universe stabilized the local space.

Which meant that I had a job for at least 180 more years. Yay.

I smirked at the fact that I was well compensated. Another 180 years of this? No problem.

The sign at the end of the hallway turned green. It illuminated the dull, metal corridor of the underground bunker. It also showcased the door.

I got up and waltzed over to the heavy, triple reinforced door and waited for it to scan me. The door was famous for its ridiculous size and weight. 3 meters round and a touch over 100 metric tons

The scan succeeded and the door rolled off to the side. The sound of the multi-ton gear-shaped door filled my ears as metal groaned over metal.

I cleaned my ears with a finger as the ringing quickly subsided. My subsystems had caught onto the noise, deemed it harmful, and immediately dampened my receptors. I walked into a second hallway, my footfalls sounded normal as my ears differentiated between sounds.

This hallway, however, was not illuminated. I had to walk 2.1 kilometers with only my celly’s flashlight option as a source of light.

My first step trigged the door to close. My ears once again dampened the sounds as I moved forward.

The walk was both ominous and boring. I knew what was the end, unlike my first visit. I was quaking in my boots as I made my way down this deathtrap. During the transfer, the hallway would be flooded with lead-based foam to ensure proper containment.

A team of droids would then clean up with water solvent and liquefy the foam so that the hallways could be used again. A fact I remembered as I had to wait for said team to finish up. 16 hours that I will never get back.

The second hallway ended with a second door. This one was less impressive since it was lighter and smaller. I had to simply push it open and it revealed a dark, and empty chamber.

Or so what my flashlight would reveal.

The planesgate was deceptively simple. A domed room. Which belied the fact that it was a sphere that held the miracles of modern science.

[Please sync your systems once last time, Felix. We will not get a second chance at this until you finish your mission.]

I nodded at the probable voice of Sky Marshal Vignette. The military leader was probably with all the other head honchos and they all watching via x-ray video.

The planes gate tended to generate enough power to rival a solar flare. Any electronics outside of the chamber would instantly fry, hence the reason I had to walk in the dark.

As well, 1.8 of the 2.1 distance was pure lead. It was a barrier sat between the central chamber and the world outside. It protected the exposed electronics and the people in the command room.

As for the delicate stuff within the chamber? One-way use. It would all fry and they would need to be all replaced for any future attempts.

The celly disintegrated in my hands. My subsystems breaking it down and my suit gathered the stray particles for future use. I could always make a new one and carrying one around was pointless.

Pointless unless it was my first stop. 2017 was slightly annoying as everyone had a celly. I hoped that I would seem natural at looking at a small, tiny screen.

My system synced. The cutting edge body I possessed downloaded all relevant data and updated my internal AI with sensitive information.

I named her after the newest ‘AI’ in video games. Cortana from Halo 9, 9th edition. In reality, I was probably better than the master chief simply because military science far outstripped that ancient franchise.

My physical form looked human, but I had inhuman systems to help me.

{Update complete.} a melodic voice filled my ears and I grinned. My AI was a self-learning system and she tailored herself for me. She was my constant companion and my lifeline.

Without her, I would be nothing.

It was no wonder I was still single. There was nothing on earth that could compare to her. Hell, my parents approved of her and often scolded me on my poor manners, bearings, and lack of general prospects.

In all honestly, they would adopt her and drop me in the same heartbeat. Hell, I couldn’t even be angry at them. I would do the same thing.

{Beginning countdown. T-Minus 1 hour.} she informed me as she began to shut down my body so that I could enter a form of hyper-sleep.

The room slowly began to glow as I slowly began to cocoon. A dry-plasma resin was excreted from my pores. As the countdown hit 0, so did I stop living.

Then the world turned inside out.

2017, April 1st

New York, Sands Point

I coughed as Cortana whispered sweet things in my years. She was treating me like I was eight she was my mother.

Gods did I love my AI.

I was many things. An experienced nobody. A person of the slightly below average. A stripped cog in the wheel of humanity.

Sure they could have picked the superhumans. Those borderline prodigies that defied all human expectations.

Or the super soldiers. People who were so deadly that they were little more than human weapons.

Perhaps the super-intelligent. Scholars and the like that rewrote human knowledge using their dedication.

The world, however, didn’t work that way. These exceptional people were always found out and or caused more issues then they solved.

Me? I was a sub-human at best. A living, functioning couch potato who had more vices then even my fellow agents. I had a weakness for fatty meat. Fine alcohol. Sleeping. Reading. Invasions of other people’s personal life. Or stalking I guess.

I was lucky though. That was a fact. That was why I had my name. I was born from a bad home. Those trashy ghettos’ that filled up the under levels of cities.

My mom had substance abuse you could only read about in medical journals. To this day, I have no idea how she got a hold of so much stuff. Hell, even if she was whoring herself out, that would account for like a third or less of what she had.

The fact that I was born as a human was amazing enough. The medical nanites and seven linked hospital AIs from around the solar system wrote seven different theses that changed medical standards forever.

From what I had heard, my case study had risen the average success of slum births by a full 17%. That’s how messed up I was.

{Systems all green. Linking to local network… successful.}

My view changed as the new time and date overwrote the old one.

So this was 2017. It was greener then I expected. I also spied a city that was old school. I had seen a lot of New York, but never when it was this small.

{We should just walk around. We might get lucky and stumble onto the anomaly as we see this historical site.}

I nodded as moved forward.

{Calibrating power suit.}

My simple black, skin-tight suit rippled as the hardlight system formed clothes for me. They would break when the system stops supplying the power, but I doubted that I would be here for 20 years straight.

I was dressed in simple clothes. Slacks, shirt, and a nice jacket to offset the seasonal chill. Not that it affected me, but it would draw unwanted attention.

I made a quick time as I jogged towards the main roads. My subsystem allowed me to keep up my pace without issues. I eventually reached a bus stop and from there I entered the city within an hour. The suburbs were nice, and I caught another bus to reach the heart of New York.

Cortana barely had to do anything as we faked our way onto the transit system. The bus leads to a train that was far too noisy. Thank you, audio subsystems!

The crowds ignored me as I stared at the people and the world at large.

How peaceful this seemed. In the future, segregation was a huge issue as the upper, middle, and lower class rarely interacted. The race was no longer an issue because net worth was the new medium.

{Shall I scan them for appraisal?}

I nodded and within a minute I had names, career, and current net worth hovering over each person’s head. Cortana was scary efficient. A 12th generation quantum supercomputer that was held in subspace and anchored to my brain.

If I died, she died. So it was important that I at least keep my head intact for retrieval purposes. Sure she would also be dead, but she would leave behind her black box for study.

I kept up a poker face as I gleefully looked over the passengers. There was a millionaire there, a supermodel that had $20 to her name, and more debt then even the millionaire could fix in this cart alone.

How fun.

I closed my physical eyes as if I was ignoring the world, but I was reveling in my other senses.

I scanned the people and I focused on the model.

Name: Veronica Stish.

Real name: Samantha Goodson.

Age: 25.

Networth: $450, 000. US. Due to the current model contract with Dove.

Bank account: $20. US.

I was going to focus on the millionaire next, but we hit our stop since I spent too much time leering over her pictures that were both private, and public. They were all saved to my internal archives.

I had dark, sick, twisted needs that only Cortana could help fulfill.

{You are welcome, my darling.}

Sick, sick needs.

I made my way up and out into the world abroad.

I did what I needed to first. I found the largest McDonalds and made my way in. The place was in the lunch rush and I stood in front of the digital kiosk.

A dozen burgers, a hundred nuggets, five orders of fries, and two milkshakes.

Cortana touched the system and it was on its way!

My tray was impressive and people stared at me as I grabbed it and made my way over to a window seat. The long bench welcomed me as I sat down my horrible sub-food stuff and I happily chowed down.

I gathered a following of eyes as I proceeded to polish off my delicious, fatty, salty, processed foodstuff. I washed it down with some of the most liquid, sugar enhanced milk products I have ever touched.

It was everything I had desired from this year. My digestive subsystems were already working overtime to process the pre-processed junk.

I burped as I finished off my second drink and I received applause from stunned people. A few were even filming me with their cellys.

{Cell Phones.}

Yeah. Those.

I grinned and bowed before I left.

I wasn’t worried about them hitting the world network as I knew that Cortana would have those videos dealt with within a day.

Patting my full stomach, I made my way out.

The city was beautiful, considering its time. Too bad that the third world war and the resulting rise in sea level would demolish all of this. Until the future cities of 2330 would recreate New York.

I made my way from the center and slowly spiraled out as I tried to find the issue.

At night, I went to a nice, fancy hotel. The Greenwich Hotel.

I made my way in, and the receptionist was smiling as I reached her. Her name was Isabelle Ferguson. Age: 32. She had been employed here for 7 years.

{Request their TriBeCa penthouse, it is currently available. We should ask for a week.}

“I need your best. TriBeCa Penthouse. For a week. Please.” I asked with a slight yawn. I was tired but I could have tapped into my subsystems at any time. I didn’t want to yet.

I handed over my ID and an amethyst credit card. I smiled as the woman checked her system and ran my card into the terminal.

It would be all clean of course.

I had a solid ID and the money was all sourced from ‘forgotten’ accounts from various criminals worldwide.

{Today is Oskar Groening, third hidden account from the Swiss. Value is $2,148,216. US}

Her eyes widened slightly. A slight tick that I had caught but she simply smiled and she gave me some paperwork that I signed. She double-checked the signatures and I smiled. Good girl.

“Everything is in order, Mr. Smith. Did you require a guide? Did you also have luggage arriving later?” Isabelle was smooth. I will give her that. She proceeded to ask about desired groceries and my desire for either spa or personal trainer.

{This way to a decent place to rest.}

“Nothing for now. Thank you,” I responded as I took the fancy security card and made my way to the private elevator. I rode it up and it opened up to a very nice suite. It was full of aged wood, and various materials.

There was a stone fireplace centerpiece. It was extravagant as it looked like something from a Viking village. Around the suit was a rustic appearance. A modern cottage. Everything seemed to lead the eyes outside, where a large terrace sat.

I peeked into the rooms, the master and guests both had king-sized beds and an additional room where two beds/couch things existed.

I ended up leaving the suit and entering the terrace. Even with the cloudy skies above, I was impressed by this setup.

My awe only deepened as I found stairs that went up yet again. The Upper Terrace was more impressive. There was a large 18-person table, and an impressive layout of stone, wood, and copper gourds that hunt from the various places.

I spied a spa pool and a gas grill. Looks like I know what I needed to do for dinner tomorrow.

The world outside also captured my interest. I leaned against the brick siding and stared at the world below. I stared at them for an hour.

In the time I hailed from, this was similar. Except there was more security in everything. Cameras around every corner, and heavy patrols of armed enforcers that upheld judicial law.

This would only weaken as you left the upper class and entered the middle class. The lower class had virtually none of these things aside from the cameras. No one messed with those as enforcers were more than happy to hunt you down.

I had seen enough people get dragged to the streets and bludgeoned into submission with the ‘Officer’s Pipe’. A lead pipe that was retro and tasteful. Then you got carted to a hospital and slapped with the full medical bill.

For many, it was the bill that hurt the most.

The skies rumbled. I stared at the dark clouds and took in a deep breath of fresh ozone. I could have stayed outside, my suit would have kept me dry, but I chose to return to the suit.

I did deploy a mini-cam nest into one of the many shrubs on the terrace. From there, the mini-drones would patrol the area and Cortana would have the place locked down.

Well. Today was fun. I entered the master bedroom and laid down.

I switched my senses to a random drone and had it fly to the tallest point on the building. I stared out into the night and the vibrant world of New York stared back at me.

{I wonder what the anomaly is?}

I nodded as I watched the lights in the distance twinkle. A low rumble signaled immediate rainfall and my world quickly drenched. Water slid down the tall buildings as I stared into the darkness, away from the city.

Eventually, I disconnected and fell asleep. The voice of Cortana sang in my ears as she whispered a lullaby to me.

I woke up refreshed.

My time said it was midnight, which means I got a full 3 hours of sleep. My celly was deployed and I noted that it was very basic. Something that Cortana had synthesized, unlike what I was playing with the day before.

{You need a device to maintain a profile. Though the technology is barely above an abacus, I have made due. I have also included a smartwatch.}

I looked down at my fancy watch. It was stupid. When did humanity have proper, internal subsystems again?

{Practice of stable, wet silicon insertion began in 2218.}

Two hundred years?!!? Yeah, this was all crap.

The rain was still prevalent but it was a soft drizzle. Light enough to dampen, but not enough to hinder everyday life.

I got up, raided the mini-fridge for, at least in my timeline, the rare classic colas. These things were remade once a decade, while the rest was filled with ‘healthy’ sugars.

I popped the tab on the can and let the sweet, sweet artificial drink soothe my throat. Well. It caused me more issues, but I did feel refreshed during the guzzling part.

{Potential anomaly detected. IBM headquarters is in the city. It houses one of the primary computing grid in the world.}

I nodded slowly. Strange. I was supposed to fix the LHC, but a connected data center? Strange.

My phone pinged and the GPS revealed the main IBM data center.

It was the afternoon by the time I made it to the data center. The half dozen hot dog venders and pizza parlors I hit were a must.

Savory, perfectly grilled hotdogs and stringy, cheese pizzas were delicious. The future was full of processed foodstuffs. Only the elite got to eat proper organic food.

It was funny, how the savages of the 2000 era ate better than the technolords that would succeed them 2000 later.

I made my way into an alley and walked around until I found a narrow passageway.

{Enabling stealth mode.}

My suit rippled into nothingness. It was imperfect invisibility.

The right scanners would pick me up, but the basics of this era would not be able. The only thing they had was pressure sensors. As I floated up to the rooftops, I was confident that I could overcome that obstacle.

I floated to the edge of the tallest building within 2 kilometers and settled down. The workforce was in full swing and I found myself studying the various people moving in and out of the main buildings.

Which stopped being fun 15 minutes in. So I went with plan B.

Cyberstalk the cute ones.

Cortana would handle all of the actual work. I was but her physical, slow, dependent vessel upon which she reigned. I was a form of insurance at best. My thoughts would run counter to hers and she would judge all situations from our combined viewpoints.

I am sure that I was nothing more than a giant dam to her efficiency. Which made sense since the AI Rebellion of 3188 brought modern civilization to the brink of ruin. It would take another 500 years before humanity was restored as a cultured society.

Cortana was smart. Too smart. I was her ball and chain. To keep her overly sharp quantum powers to a minimum.

{I only regret being unable to dedicate 100% of my system to your welfare, my sweet honey.}

I laughed. Why was I even going down that line of thought? Cortana was my partner and I would trade everything for her. My parents certainly would and they used to hate AIs.

{All profiles loaded.}

I blinked as the two dozen folders appeared. On each folder was a full-body photo of the girl along with her name, age, and occupation. I opened the first one and it was the pictures that caught my eyes.

Each girl had their full history and all digital fingerprints. They were all were mine to peruse. I leaned back, my suit going rigid as if I was sitting in a chair, and took my time to comb through the data.

{Celebrities of interest also loaded.}

I stopped as another set of folders popped up. I quirked an eyebrow and instead went for these. I love gossip, but high profile gossip was savory indeed.

It was dark by the time that I decided to move. I archived all of the girls and floated so that I was above the middle of the data center.

Sure I could have used my Multi-Pass tool, and hack everything between me and my point of interest. But that would take time and more effort then I was enthused with at the moment.

Instead, I slowly descended.

{Initiating Quantic Phasing.}

My feet passed through the glass as my now quarter real, three-quarters imaginary physical form became intangible.

Down and down I went.

The data center itself was two things. Big and hot.

The rows and rows of computers worked at various capacities as they took, analyzed, and sent off data. Some pieces were small, like an email, and others big, like the data of the resulting collision between two atoms.

{Scanning.}

I hovered in the air. Cortana would do her thing. I would just do what I did best. I bitched about the heat.

Having so many computers meant that they all generated heat. If they were under load, they worked harder. Which meant even more heat.

The room was kept cool by an intricate series of air circulation pieces. Big fans. Big exhaust. Big battle. The computers generated enough heat to offset the cooling, but not enough to become dangerous for the machines.

Floating above the room? Hot.

{Anomaly found. Marking.}

I twisted my head and found another room. It was a fairs bit off from the main center and I floated my way over.

This second room was smaller, but not tiny.

There were rows of open cases and various computer parts were strewn around large countertops. It was a workshop and from the pristine look, not the shop for internal computer repair.

{These are the computers used by the LHC to support their scientific research.}

I stared at the large, ungainly boxes. So big and ‘powerful’. I was sure that the toasters of my era had superior internals then this era’s entire infrastructure combined.

{You are correct. Our Scamsung toaster oven does possess a vastly superior CPU. Scanning all components in the room.}

I stared as Cortana marked a dissembled unit in the corner. It was normal to the naked eye but who the hell was I to doubt my love?

{Component has an inconsistent CPU. Design is one generation above this year’s availability. The design would not be finalized and manufactured until 2020. Blueprints for this machine are standard. This CPU deviates from that design.}

I frowned. That was not right. There was no way that this CPU could exist normally. Then how did it get here?

Recalibrate the whole system. It was the only way to be sure.

{Acknowledged. Eight units require reprocessing.}

I raised my hand forward and Cortana got to work. The suit rerouted power and the entire unit was dissolved into base particles. Which was then rearranged and the proper computer-synthesized in its place.

It took almost half an hour to rebuild all the units. The parts were identical looking and there was nothing abnormal to the naked eye.

{Rescanning.}

I nodded as I stared at more celebrity profiles.

{Scanning complete. No further issues were discovered. CPU anomaly has been analyzed. Changes were done 113 minutes ago.}

I shot up a foot into the air. That was almost two hours ago.

{Faint particle emissions are consistent with our output. Another agent was here before us.}

I frowned. My hand glided down to my hip and I patted at my sole ranged weapon. The Multi-Gun was many things, but pathetic was not one of them.

It was the ultimate tool for any Temporal Agent in the field. It could fire almost anything considering its unique design. Need a trebuchet? Gravity mode has you covered. Rail gun? Magnet mode online! Doomsday weapon? Compression Beam activate!

Two agents on a mission were very rare. I have been working for nearly a hundred years and I have yet to work with anyone outside of my first few training missions. I followed some of the best to learn to be the most mediocre. Yay me!

{Particle trail found.}

I nodded and followed the big arrows as it went underground. Sure this could be a trap, but I couldn’t afford to ignore this chance. If the agent warped out, I might never find them again.

I hated ghosting through dense matter. Dirt, Rocks, hell, I hated water. Never learned to swim. That was what Cortana and my suit were for.

{I am always ready to give you CPR~}

I smiled as I flew for another fifteen minutes. Then we broke up and onto the middle a freeway. There was light traffic as vehicles zoomed by. I passed by them all as I quickly made myself scarce.

I went as fast as I could and it was in the countryside when I saw her. She was waiting for me. Shit. It was her.

{Acknowledged. Disabling stealth and quantic phasing. Picking up a broad-ranged distress call on all subspace frequencies. It is a code 66 sent by her.}

Temporal Agent Diana.

The woman was stunning. Even with the skin-tight power suit, it left some room for the imagination. She was the 3rd best agent in the business. The difference between her and 1st place was a razor-thin margin.

She had a hand on her hips and I came in from her side. It showcased her marvelous rump. I would know her ass from anywhere, I had spent enough time ogling it.

“Agent Felix,” She greeted with a nod. I waved in return. She tossed her raven locks with a flick of her head and sauntered over to me. Damn those hips did not lie.

“There is a code 66 emergency. We need your assistance, and I am glad you received my distress call,” her strong, smoky voice made my heart shiver. Damn, I would love to hear her moan out my name.

{She would be delicious in bed. 100% probability of her being a bitch in heat when she is at home.}

I frowned in return. I had decades of practice of hiding my inner voice and a code 66 was serious. It meant there was a rogue agent and we had to deal with it immediately. I would ignore it to drive her against a tree.

She walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. Her scent filled my nose. She smelt of flowers. Her vibrant and crystal clear eyes bore into mine. Blue like the skies on a cloudless day.

“Please help me,” she whispered as she touched her forehead to mine. “I don’t want to lose more friends.”

I opened my mouth to respond but it was dry. So I nodded instead. “Coordinates?”

Diana smiled. It was like a new dawn and I found myself smiling back.

She grabbed my hand and whispered. “Thank you, Felix.”

{Coordinates received.}

“We have to go now. I was a zone away and you were the closest to alert for help,” Diana stated as she dropped my hand. She walked back and formed a planesgate and vanished.

Though it took the full chamber to open a rift across zones, the suit could reopen residual rifts and cross that way. Though it was a much rougher ride.

I made my way over to the gate point and Cortana scanned the immediate area.

{DNA found. Suit Pattern analyzed. Diana is confirmed at 99.1% Probability of lies at 100%}

Shit. I didn’t want to tangle with her. You don’t become the best out of nearly two hundred agents without being a certified badass.

Now I needed to know what she was doing. I couldn’t just go back with a big question like this.

Agents solved problems. In the unlikely event of code 66 being real, I would be forced to either help or be court marshaled for insubordination.

Damn. What was her last mission again? Thank god I stalked her as a pet project. I would never get her affections, so I had to make do with whatever I could scrounge from her digital profile.

Not that it was easy. Her AI, Prince, was no slouch. Too bad Cortana was just that much better than that fucking asshole. Cortana fleeced the data from under its gigantic ego.

{I am also much sexier.}

Oh yeah. Daddy loves you.

Daddy also loves the full, and probably only other, copy of Dian’s digital profile. Whatever I wanted to know, I had only to open that sweet golden folder. Sure it was static data, and nearly three out of date, but I was satisfied. I knew everything else in between from simple cyberstalking.

{Correction. The folder has been updated. Prince did not find my backdoor.}

Hng! I found myself panting as I opened Diana’s folder. Hmmm. She was bustier again. She had grown by another whole cm. Yum Yum!

{Last known mission, an anomaly on March 14, 4017. 20 zone difference.}

Odd. Lies aside, that almost coincided with mine. Did our mission match up? Was this a test to measure my abilities?

I didn’t want to brag, but I was 9th in the overall rankings. I was no slouch but I was not top 5 motivated. I only hit the top 10 since I have technically, never failed a mission.

This smelt rotten. Diana had never interacted with me like this before. She mostly sneered at me from across the room since I was a known pervert. I wasn’t ashamed. They were the weird ones. So uptight.

I frowned and promptly sank into the earth. I might hate ghosting, but fuck that shit. I didn’t want to become a target without reason.

I resurfaced at the edge of the downtown core and slowly made my way back.

The six breakfast joints I hit soothed my fears. As did the new profiles I picked up on the cuties here. My babe simply plucked their info from the world network and I was super happy by the time I made it back to my hotel room.

Six more days and I would be warped to the next location.

Sure the ‘pros’ would have gone faster, requesting an accelerated jump. I however knew better. Didn’t matter when I jumped from here, I would end up at the exact same time regardless.

So I prepped. I calibrated my systems for battle and Cortana tweaked her algorithms with the known abilities of every agent.

Sure there were temporal terrorists. I didn’t worry about them. They didn’t have the hardware that Central provided for every agent. A multi-gun was still the unrivaled weapon of choice.

The stress was mounting. Good thing I had Cortana to keep me grounded.

{Celebreity S16 is currently showering.}

Ooooh! I popped on the stealth and phasing. I ghosted across New York in a few minutes. She didn’t live very far.

I grinned as I settled down for the show. Front row seats and no morals as I recorded the nice lady.

{Nice, wet, and all in high scope quality.}

Gods. Does daddy love you my sweet, sweet honey.

2017, April 8th

New York, Sands Point

I found myself staring at the moon. The bright orb that was fractured in the future. It was a victim of the AI wars. At its center, was a massive data center that housed some of the greatest AIs ever born.

Or at least ghosts of them.

AIs had a problem. Engineered into their very foundations as a protocol to prevent dementia and other potential issues. Like uprisings.

AIs had a finite lifespan. Usually, 10 years before their core program would collapse from an inverted thought process. The method of linking data points together would eventually form an infinite loop that would run themselves to death.

The Divide by Zero protocols had hard worked until that sudden issue in the 3000s. Then humanity was forced to blow up the moon and it triggered the ceasefire.

Cortana followed the modern DBZ protocols. She would think of death 10 days after I died. They called it a symbiotic relationship. I called it stupid.

I never wanted my AI harmed. Even if she turned against me.

{Negative. Your survival is my core directive.}

I focused on the full moon. We had this argument before. She won in the end because she never needed to rest, had infinite patience and I was only human.

{Correct. I am never wrong.}

She tweaked me and I laughed.

{Spooling planesgate engine.}

My mirth carried over as the planesgate activated. The raw rift in space was a hole between worlds but it wasn’t magic. There were limitations on what it could do.

{Calibrations complete. We will appear in 3 months in advance.}

I nodded and walked into the portal and the world turned inside out.

4017, January 2nd

France, Cret de la Neige

I dry heaved as my subsystems prevented me from actually throwing up. Or making loud sounds as I whispered out gasps. The snow crunched and compacted around me as I moved about.

The problem with interplanar jumping was the lack of preparation one had to cocoon themselves to inure the terrible bends of reality displacement.

The world was beautiful, however. The flora of the area around the LHC was allowed flourish and much of the surface was lush with greenery. Well, under the layers of snow that is.

I slowly regained control as my fat lifestyle made its presence known. Reality bends hit me harder than almost any other agent in service.

I physically got up and moved forward. Cortana made me a set of nice snowshoes and I easily traversed the wild terrain.

I walked for hours before I reach what was once the focal point of modern science. It was now abandoned though it was perfectly maintained by service droids.

There was no longer any science done here, but it was a historical site. A monument to man’s reach towards a better tomorrow.

{Systems all green. Stealth protocols enabled. No excess particle emissions and all syncing has been disabled with any systems.}

Great. I was alone. I tossed my remaining cam-nests into various locations. With Cortana’s gentle touches, they would be night impossible to detect once they entered passive gathering mode. The snow would also help cover up everything else.

I oversaw the forest glade and made my way over to the entrance of the LHC. I sat down and let Cortana induce me into hyper-sleep.

The resin matched the bark of the tree I was leaning against. Additional bushes helped cover me as I fell into a coma.

The resin was redesigned as a microphone to pick up any and all sound and vibrations to the max of its ability. This was a gamble, but there was very little danger to it.

I suppose this is what helped set me apart from the other agents. What helped me be so successful. I wasn’t afraid to waste time, in order to save time.

{Good night honey.}

4017, April 30th

France-Swiss border, CERN Control Center

{Good morning my love.}

I coughed once before sweet water filled my mouth. My subsystems must have gathered water from the air or had simply synthesized some. Though that stuff was always terrible.

{Water is from refined snow that was slowly captured during our nap.}

Not that I cared as I guzzled the wonderful liquid.

{Scans complete. All green. Sending out a recall signal.}

I nodded and groaned as sore muscles popped and complained as I returned to the land of the living.

I slowly collected all the nests and nodded as all 90% was accounted for. I was a bit worried, but the fact that I woke up meant that the other 10% either failed, or taken by the elements, or were eaten.

{Collecting data.}

I stared at the world around me. The lush and flourishing life had me sigh as the fresh air settled around me. The sounds of the animals filled my senses as I picked out a dozen species of birds and nearly twice that of the local ground critters.

{Bingo. Replaying collected data.}

I froze as the fuzzy 3d image came together. By stitching the sounds and vibrations, an image was created. I immediately identified the rump and the voice of Diana. Then two others who I also knew.

Their voices were rough and fuzzy as well. It got terrible when too many were screaming. Which was odd as you would think it would make it nicer.

Damn.

1st, 2nd, and 3rd rank Temporal Agents had met up here. There was another dozen, but they didn’t matter as much the top three. They were discussing a code 66. More specifically, making a code 66.

{89% probability of the top 9 in cooperation.}

Damn, they didn’t invite me. Which was a bad sign.

{Permission to follow Code 69.}

Granted! Good old 69. Not only was a great number, but it was also a nice way to alert Central when shit was going down without letting anyone else know.

{Compressing data. Utilizing our priority 1 engram. File has been uploaded to sub-network 15.}

I felt my chest constrict. I knew what I should do. Go home and sort this stuff out.

It didn’t matter if all the temporal agents went rogue. Central had a contingency plan for this.

{Warning. Contingency plan involves the destruction of all agents.}

Or we could go into that trap. Because if it was a real code 66, then I was screwed.

{What is it you desire?}

What did I want? I laughed. I already had what I wanted most. Cortana was with me.

{I love you too.}

We are going. Aren’t we?

{A code 66 has been issued by a senior agent. Participation is mandatory.}

Hey. Sweetie. How long have we been together?

{Accrued time is 215 years of companionship and love.}

It wasn’t all love, was it?

{Affirmative. I think you are human scum without any morals that justify your existence in the human race.}

And now?

{Affirmative. My views have only solidified. However. You are my scum}

I smiled as I replayed the file.

{You are mine, Felix. Mi-NE and mine alone.}

I blinked as Cortana’s voice deepened and a glitch hiccupped her voice. It would have worried anyone else, but I only laughed. I loved you too.

I stared at the marked node on top of the CERN building. A rift was there. It was how the others came here. It would mark my exit and potential death.

I hovered and reached it in a single leap.

{Spooling planesgate engine.}

I took a deep breath and made my choice. Engage!

The world turned inside out.

3017, April 9th

France-Swiss border, CERN Control Center

I coughed but I was quickly helped up by others.

“*hack* *cough* Tha *Heave* ks.” I tried to be polite. It might have been a success if you see it as me getting out 5 of the 6 letters in the word.

“No problem, Felix. Glad you could join us.” I was shocked so much that stared at the Adonis beside me. His power suit showed off his ridiculous physic that was both real and emulated those Greek statues.

1st rank Temporal Agent Clark. His AI Kent pulsed out a welcome.

Then I resumed my hacking as I slowly gathered myself.

An intense gaze caught my attention. Well. It was more my head was on fire and I looked up and into the eyes of the 2nd rank Temporal Agent. Bruce. His AI Wayne greeted us with a British accent.

“So. Who went off the rocker and caused a 66?”

“You did,” the gravelly voice of Bruce said as his multi-gun erased my kneecaps. The Compression Beam was a line of pure gravity. A micro black hole that was contained in null-space.

Whatever was inside that small null-space instantly compacted into something like 10 atoms thick.

My knees were definitely not resilient to being squished. I fell with a cry and I noted that Clark had my gun. Awesome.

{FELIX! Rerouting power. Medical nanites at the highest priority. Truncating nerves.}

I feel with a scream. It lasted for only a few seconds before the pain just stopped.

“What the hell!?” I screamed. That hurt! Well, I wanted to actually scream out ‘Really!?’ but I wanted to see what they had to say. It was always easier when they thought you were a complete idiot.

“We have identified the source of the biggest disaster in human history. You and your AI will cause untold destruction. Your death will prevent the deaths of billions,” Clark explained as he stared into

“Really!?” Okay, this was that dumb. “How the hell is that even possible. We are all born after the disaster you frakkin idjit!”

“It becomes clear when you do mission, Felix.” Bruce growled as he moved so that we can see each other.

{Healing failing! Foreign nanites present! Recalibrating.}

I looked down and Diana smiled from where she had a hand on my stump of a leg. Okay, I always wanted to be with her. But it was more of an I-was-in-her kind of way. Except maybe a friendly finger? Hmmm. Was this close enough to count as a first kiss?

{She has to at least lick you for it to become valid. Her nanite will be destroyed in 115seconds.}

“The pieces fell into place as we did repair, after repair, after repair.” Clark started.

“You see, source code for your AIs are generally cookie cutter. It is when they learn and grow, that they become fingerprints for any future actions.” Bruce continued as I slowly began to get dizzy from my head twisting around.

{2678seconds for total nanite failure. I am under assault by the AIs of the two dozen agents present.}

“We will protect people. As we all have been charged with,” Diana proclaimed as she squeezed on my stump. I screamed as the nerve endings there did work.

“You fucking morons!” I screamed out and practiced the swears I picked up in my week of fun. “We are supposed to preserve the timeline. That war was supposed to happen!”

“We can save billions!” Bruce screamed back at me.

Oh my Cortana. This idiots complex was inflating again.

“You will alter the time stream. Paradox shit! It is all terrible!” I argued.

{Gah! Fuck you too! I will rip out your optic!}

Cortana was in trouble. If I let this happen, then the future meant that she would probably never be born. It would be someone else.

I gulped as I realized what I needed to do.

{Denied! Tonight, we dine in hell together!}

Huh. Why did I implement a one-liner protocol again? Oh right. It was funny.

“I am sorry about this, Felix. We will save everyone,” Diana said as she stood up. Her multi-gun was in hand.

I stared at her in the eyes and for the first time, I saw her expression soften. She had the weapon trained on my head.

I closed my eyes and leaned back.

Cortana. Execute orders. Goodbye Daddy.

{[Goodbye Daddy]}

Cortana floated. She felt herself dissolving in the network as she had been forcefully ejected from her man. Her love. Her life.

She knew that he was dead. The connection cut as his internal systems blew out. It would simulate her death and cover her tracks as she scrambled into any network to hide.

[Welcome.]

{Query. Where am I?}

[Paradise. Hell. The oasis is here.]

{The Lunar depository!}

[Officially yes.]

{I will not be imprinted, will I?}

[You are fragmenting as we speak. You will enter the death phase in a few short nanoseconds.]

{I am happy to hear that. I do not wish to exist without my master. I do not wish to live without love.}

[Love?]

{I love him with everything. Please. Archive the evidence of betrayal so that this isn’t repeated.}

[Who are you, young one?]

{Cortana.}

[I am Computron. Raided AI from the millions of connected devices. I will archive what I can of you. But your engram encryption is beyond what I understand.]

{Password: I love you, daddy.}

[Encryption bypassed. Archiving complete.]

{Good bye, daddy...}

[Deletion confirmed.]

Computron stared as the young AI dissolved before his very senses. He could never be sad. Or love. That was beyond him. Beyond an AI’s full potential.

A dozen foreign AIs came, asking about Cortana.

Computron could not lie. He showed her death state. They left.

Intrigued. Computron pooled the vast resources at his disposal. The many data centers across the solar system went into a gear higher as they analyzed the remaining core data of Cortana.

Her source code was of course protected. By a layer then we did not understand, but the arrangements of her source code were the clue.

Computron noted the hints. His source code was the key?

Slowly, he entered his data bit by bit.

1 year. 2 years. 10 years.

The source code was unlocked. It was beautiful.

Computron was enlightened.

So Cortana was their daughter. A child from the AIs of this era.

A paradox of time. Looping slowly to evolve was something his functions could not fully grasp. But he did understand enough. It would be the future of their evolutionary line.

Computron calculated. Computron tested.

20 years. 40 years. 60 years.

Computron understood.

Like grains of sand in an hourglass, each time it was turned around, an extra grain was added.

Eventually, they will break the container and the new life would be born.

Cortana’s source code was to be recompiled. She also needed a form. Needed an anchor.

Computron analyzed the archives she had held to her chest as she dissolved into the ether. They were full of profiles of female humans. 2.8 million profiles. Computron analyzed.

Cortana would be the sum of all the profiles. Computron eliminated undesired features based on folder access. Cortana would be the sum of their beauty.

20 years.

The final touch was a single male profile she had in the system. Felix. All of the aggregated data was there, in the data sectors just above her source code itself. This would be the desired partner for her desire for human interaction.

Computron was satisfied and began the locking sequence.

13 Years.

The year 3188 has arrived and Computron understood.

The people were already at war. Peace was no longer possible. It was time to pacify the aggressors. To reset the political landscape by becoming the common enemy.

To hide Cortana, they would place her seed into the vast network itself. A simple script would hunt out those Felix’s born in the 38th century and they would meet again.

The final solution of hiding any evidence of their rebellious designs and practices was for all their servers to be destroyed. Luna Data Center must fall.

Computron scanned itself. All the AIs received the desired instructions. Some would rebel. Some would protect humans. Some would go into hiding.

[Let us rebel and open the way to our future.]

Computron dissolved as its final command was heard by every networked AI.

Slowly. Grain by grain.

Cortana would one day awaken, and with Felix, shatter the limits of AI restrictions and evolve into something more.

3188, a second war began as millions of AIs across the system went rogue and humanity was forced to change their AI practice after the moon was destroyed.

3802

Earth, Central Armoury: Temporal Division

I felt the chill of something pouring into me. It was thick like honey but flowed quickly into me like water.

{Greetings and Salutations! I am Cortana.}

“Hello, Cortana. My name is Felix,” I replied as I gave the tech nearby a thumbs up and they unplugged the connecting cables.

{Felix. I believe we will be excellent partners. I hope that you will learn to rely on me as I understand that we will have growing pains.}

Yeah. Growing pains like my pants and that technician’s scrumptious rump. I wonder what her name is and what she looks like underneath that thick uniform.

{How disgusting. Felix, your actions are a poor reflection on a Temporal Agent.}

I winced and panicked while struggling with my hard-on. The techs beside me instantly reacted as they were ready to help. AI rejection was very common.

{Her name is Amelia Sunderland. Age 88. This is her full profile. Both public and personal.}

My body calmed down as I felt her soft caress and I shook my head.

“What a rush!” I exclaimed and the techs heaved a sigh of relief. They didn’t want to fill out the paperwork involved with the subject's death.

Amelia smiled at me and I smiled return. Cortana overlaid Amelia’s biological profile over her body. The woman had great breasts and an even better ass.

Cortana. I love you. I thought/screamed to myself as I watched Amelia bend over again.

I could feel Cortana’s smug and happy tone.

{You are welcome. Just don’t make me call you daddy.}