(TO BE DELIVERED IMMEDIATELY TO ALL MEMBERS. OTHER THAN GERALD. WE WANT THIS TO BE A SURPRISE.)

So, valued members and unvalued members, we have some troubling news. We got a little visit from a squad of Tripeak guards yesterday. They weren't too happy with some of the shady things we'd said in our guide about Hemmling Town. We just think they were jealous. Thank the gods it wasn't the Tourism Board on the pub's - I mean, the union hall's - doorstep.

Who gave away our truly top-secret location? It could only be a traitor in our midst! And remember, dear friends, that our goblin messengers are watching you from shadowy corners with a hand on their knives at all times. For your protection, obviously.

Anyway, these all-powerful minions have finally managed to track down this... stain on our honourable union. We hope you will soon make him a more tangible stain on the ground. Naturally, as is our purpose, we are passing the dirty work onto yourselves. It's what you're here for after all.

There is one slight problem, however. The goblins don't speak very good common tongue yet. They babbled on for hours when they found him writing out our secrets to the guards - we're sure we have a precise appearance, location, strengths and weaknesses profile and favourite sandwich description in there. We just can't understand it.

The only thing we've got is this: the traitor is called Gerald.

Gerald's probably the one who wrote us that awful letter of complaint a week or so back. Never mind that it was entirely accurate and that we had an evil being pulling the strings in the background to kill you all off (it was the hood that fooled us, ok?) Gerald, you meant us harm.

You also meant us harm this time. It doesn't really matter that the guards saw the experienced adventurers holding us captive first and arrested them all for crimes against fashion (you can't just look at stats, man; your armour has to have a consistent colour scheme). It doesn't matter that you're now all FREE to go anywhere in the Hive, do whatever you want, because of this Gerald. Honestly, he's been the most useful member of the whole sorry lot of you so far. But he has to die. It's intentions that count.

So, here we are. We are setting an official bounty to get Gerald. We're offering an impressive 20 gold for this, because the village doctor has told everyone here other than the oh-so-serious Cartographer that just one more drink could finish their liver for good. And what would you do without our fountain of advice?

Back to the issue. You see, with all the hundreds of adventurers foolishly flocking to Questworld, there's more than one registered Gerald. 142 of them to be precise.

Some of you may remember getting a number added to your name at the Registration Hall. This is if there was more than one, say, Gh'yuid'dhqk'sut, Demon of Destruction in the Hive, which there probably is these days. Through careful research into the registration and death records, by which we mean we sent the Cartograher out for a bit so we could all talk about something other than dynamic geosystems, we have found that the only Gerald that could be with us now is Gerald140. So there you are: you're after Gerald140.

Now, do bear in mind, this Gerald140 is going to be a liar. He'll know our truly fearsome reputation and he'll be quaking in his boots right now waiting for you to hunt him down. He's probably going to lie to make good his escape. But never fear, as always we have composed a handy guide in order to successfully track such a liar down:

Guide: Identifying Gerald the Traitor

1. Wander around the Hive for a bit. You're good at that by now. We have faith in you.

2. Approach any adventurer you see who looks like he could be a Gerald. You know the sort. Geralds are very distinctive.

3. Ask the adventurer, "Are you Gerald140?"

4. If the adventurer says no, it must be the traitor because he's lying. Kill him.

We're guaranteed to finish him! (Eventually.)

As for proof? Please, no more toes or ears. They stink the place up. And how are we supposed to know who that gristly lobe belongs to anyway?

So as a final step...

5. Reach into the traitor's pocket. The Adventurer Identity Card there will do.

This bounty brought to you by the Questworld Union of Underworked Adventurers.