Do you ever get the feeling that you might be cursed?

Because I'm feeling pretty cursed! Lying face down in the dirt with the unknowable words of a seemingly ancient eldritch being whispering in your mind is pretty indicative of the concept I would say.

Especially when you fell wrong.... my arm is starting to go numb.

I REGRET TO INFORM YOU, THAT YOUR UNIVERSE... HAS CEASED TO EXIST.

THERE ARE MULTIPLE REASONS AS TO WHY THIS TRAGEDY OCCURRED, CHIEF AMONG THEM BEING THAT THE GIFT OF THE HEAVENS HAS FINALLY REACHED YOUR UNIVERSE, CAUSING A FUNDAMENTAL BREAKDOWN OF YOUR PHYSICS. COMBINE THIS WITH AN ALREADY MATERIALIZING CATASTROPHIC EVENT THAT YOUR SCIENTISTS CALL... VACUUM DECAY. YOUR DESTRUCTION WAS ALL BUT ASSURED.

BUT DO NOT DESPAIR! BY THE GRACE AND FORESIGHT OF THE ANCIENTS YOUR LIVES, AND THE LIVES OF MANY OTHERS OF YOUR WORLD HAVE BEEN SPARED.

AND I, DÜLISITHOTH HAVE BEEN GIFTED THE HONOR OF WELCOMING YOU ALL TO THE GREATER MULTIVERSE!

Feeling sufficiently overwhelmed by the barrage of revelations this entity keeps casually throwing out, I find to my surprise, that I believe it. For no other reason than that, it would explain why I found myself, alongside many others transported to a non-descript field in the middle of who-knows-where. I am also surprised that I haven't delved headfirst into full-blown denial or despair, but maybe I'm in shock? Also, a burning sensation in my head and stomach is growing more and more alarming. In fact, I'm starting to hear groans and general grunts of discomfort from those around me.

as I start to grimace at the growing pain, I desperately try to shift my head so that I might see the creature lording above us. but to my chagrin and alarmed surprise I find that even when I successfully turn my head to rest my left cheek in the dirt instead of my nose down, I find that I can't physically lift my eyes into the sky and am only able to catch glimpses at what I believe to be the monsters many limbs.

LISTEN CLOSELY ALL, FOR THERE IS MUCH TO COVER, AND DO I NOT CARE TO REPEAT MYSELF.

FIRST OF ALL, I SHOULD MENTION THAT YOUR WORLD WASN'T SAVED ON A WHIM, AS MANY OF THE MULTIVERSES ALREADY INTEGRATED SPECIES HAVE A VESTED INTEREST IN EXPANDING THEIR INFLUENCE. AND SO, YOUR PLANET HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY THE WYVANTIAN EMPIRE AND UPON THE COMPLETION OF CERTAIN CRITERIA, ALL SPECIES LIVING ON THE PLANET WILL BECOME CITIZENS OF THIS NATION IN A SUBSERVIENT ROLE FOR AN ALLOTTED TIME.

SECONDLY, YOUR PLANET WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE PLUCKED FROM THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION. 2 OTHER WORLDS IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS AS YOUR OWN HAVE ALSO BEEN SAVED, AND ARE ALSO SPONSORED BY THE WYVANTION EMPIRE. AS SUCH, GOING ALONG WITH THE TRADITIONS OF OLD. ALL 3 PLANETS WILL BE MADE AS ONE AND THEIR LANDMASS, AND OCEANS RANDOMISED.

AND LASTLY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, THE BURNING I'M SURE YOU ALL FEEL IN YOUR SKULLS, CHEST, AND LOWER ABDOMEN ARE THE RESULT OF MY FINAL REVELATION PREPARING YOUR BODIES FOR THE PRESENCE OF THE HEAVENS GIFT THAT ALL SPECIES OF THE MULTIVERSE SHARE, AS WELL AS ANALYSING YOUR BIOLOGY AND CREATING A BENCHMARK BY WHICH YOUR SPECIES WILL BE JUDGE BY.

AS IT SEEMS THE PROCESS IS ALMOST COMPLETE I WILL LET IT INTRODUCE ITSELF.

Ok time out! this is too much, I can't take it anymore. My brain wasn't built to handle this, what the fuck is this thing saying!?

As the creature finishes this surprisingly even more ridiculous and terrifying explanation of mind-breaking proportions, a screen appears directly in front of me, and seemingly embedded directly in my eyes as closing them doesn't affect it at all.

SYSTEM INITIALIZING COMPLETE...

THIS PERSONAL ASSISTANCE TOOL WAS CREATED BY MA'AT SAR, AND BY HIS UNRIVALED GRACE AND BENEVOLENCE OFFER THIS GIFT TO ALL!

please note that all stats displayed are a generalization and do not reflect your/others' full capabilities.

As I read the message displayed, I can't help but let out a strained chuckle.

I'm dreaming, yeah that's got to be it. This is too insane to be real. All the stress from the last few weeks must be getting to me, okay Caleb close your eyes and ignore the impossible screen in front of you and WAKE UP!

But no matter how much I want it to be all just a bad dream, I can't wake up. even biting the inside of my cheek until I taste blood doesn't remove the damnable screen from in front of my eyes. and I'm forced to accept the truth.

This is happening. And there is no escaping that.

While I lay in the mud struggling with myself the creature Dülisithoth I believe he called himself, begins to speak again.

THE GUIDE WILL HELP YOU ON YOUR ROAD TO ASCENSION, DO NOT SQUANDER THE TREASURE TROVE OF INFORMATION IT HOLDS. OR YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF DYING FAR SOONER THAN YOU WISH!

AS IT SEEMS OUR TIME TOGETHER IS COMING TO AN END I HAVE ONE LAST THING TO TELL YOU ALL.

THE MULTIVERSE DOES NOT TOLERATE WEAKNESS! WEAKNESS IS A DISEASE THAT MUST BE WIPED OUT!

AND SO, YOU ALL SHALL BE TESTED. THE NATURE OF THAT TEST WILL BE LEFT TO THE GUIDE AS IT BEST KNOWS ALL OF YOU.

FAREWELL, AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.

And with that, the unseen force keeping all of us face down in the dirt disappears. An eerie silence befalls all those gathered, no one is saying anything. In fact, it is so quiet I can hear my heart beating in my ears, and as I look around at all those near me I see writ on their faces the same look of disbelief and mounting dread as I assume is on my own.

for long seconds the silence stands. until a new notification pops up in my vision once again.

PLEASE CHOOSE FROM THE FOLLOWING LONG SWORD (MAXIMILIAN) WAR PICK HALBERD SPEAR (PIKE)

And this shit just won't stop!

From the looks of bafflement and unfocused gazes of those around me, I can safely assume they are all getting the same, if not similar prompts as my own.

well, I guess I don't really have a choice now do I? I better consider my options carefully because if it's offering me weapons, that can not be a good sign of what's to come. Looking over my options again I am baffled at the lack of choices, I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but I know for a fact there are more weapons than the measly 4 the system is offering me. Where are the guns? the rifles? where is my shotgun damn it!?

Lamenting my shit luck once again, I stop to consider that maybe these options are tailored specifically to each person. That would explain my lack of options, which would mean I have a certain amount of compatibility or talent for these weapons? It would also explain why I just saw the guy in front of me materialize a fucking pistol in a flash of light!

I'm not jealous, you are!?

Returning my eyes to the screen I take one last moment to deliberate. The smart choice would be to go for the halberd or spear, as the range would be a significant advantage and keep me as far from harm as possible. As a wise man once said "the spear is the king of the weapons." and what matters most at the end of the day is my survival.

On the other hand, swords are far cooler and more stylish!

YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE LONG SWORD!

MAY YOUR CHOICE LEAD YOU TO EVER GREATER HEIGHTS

NICE!

As I pat myself on the back for my impeccable taste and genius, I watch with amazement as out of a flash of blue light a pristine sword immerges! the sword itself is longer and wider than I thought it would be. if I were to rest the tip of the sword on the ground, the pummel would reach just under my clavicle. Reaching out to catch the weapon in my hands the sword is also a lot lighter than I expected, instead of being a giant hunk of steel I would struggle to lift I estimate that its weight is just above 5 pounds and I can lift it with relative ease. the grip while it easily allows me to fit both my hands on it comfortably with room to spare, tapers off slightly at the end down to the large unadorned pummel. the guard is cut horizontally across the length of my blade and is also free of any creative flourishes.

All in all, it is completely badass!

Finishing admiring my new blade, and as more people finish making their choices a loud dinging sound echoes out making me wince slightly at the noise. after which a large black screen appears in the sky in front and high above the group.

BEGINING TRIAL...

TRIAL TYPE SELECTED

TRIAL OF CULLING

Trial of what now?