After Ji stopped speaking it became quiet for some time. Saji’s expression was blank. Before it had been shocked and shaken, but now after she had heard everything Ji had to say her expression was completely blank.

She wondered and thought about the person that sat in front of her. A person older then the country she was born in, older then the pyramids, older then anything the knew. She watched him and wondered just how complex such a being was after all those millennia.

Finally, she asked the question that burned inside her:

“Then why did you safe me? And after you saved me, why didn’t you safe my parents as well? For you it shouldn’t make any difference if you save one human or if you save three of them!”

“I saved you because I had been chatting with you before and you were the first person I had really interacted with in almost a century.”, his tone was flat. “The answer is just this simple, I knew you and I like you, so I saved you. One person more or less is insignificant at this stage.

As for your parents… This will sound cruel, but I did not think about that.”, Ji said this as a matter of fact.

Saji stared at him, his words echoing within her mind. He was indifferent. She noticed it. Ji was completely indifferent to those billions of lives. Her parents? He simply did not think about saving them when he saved her. It was not any malicious thought, no bad intention, he simply forgot!

Billions were going to die and even if Ji couldn’t save every single one of them, he could save millions if he wanted to! But he did not because in his eyes this had to happen. It wasn’t his fault that this happened, but he could have prevented a part of it but did not.

Somehow in this moment this was even more scary then being at fault.

“You think I am a monster, a bad person that let billions die because of his own interests.”, Ji knew what she thought. “You are right, I am no good person. I am a god. I do whatever I think is the right choice.

I take every fault at myself, because it was my decision that led to this outcome. Yet if you ask me if I feel guilty I have to say no. I feel sorry, terribly sorry for the people that had to die. They can blame me, they can blame the heaven, or they can blame their bad luck. In the end they died because it was unavoidable.”, from beginning to the end he never once changed expressions. He was calm. Disgustingly so.

Saji still looked at him, many difficult emotions raging within her. Disappointment, fear, disgust, uneasiness and blame flashed through her eyes, clearly visible for Ji. He was cold. So cold that it felt hard for her to find anything good at this person in front of her. With every moment she thought about it she became more upset.

“Why do you have the right to decide this?”, her voice trembled. “Why can YOU decided who has to die and who not? HOW is this FAIR?!?”, her whole body shock in rage.

Ji’s face began to twitch. “I decided because I was the only one who could decide. I decided because if I did not decide no one would. Fair? There is no fairness unless the stronger party decides to be fair. I am the weaker so what can I do? Tell me, should I have gone and confronted the other gods. Should I have fought them, died and brought an end to everyone that believed and followed me? Humanity would be finished, killed and eaten.

Those bastards who started all this, the so called heaven, they think they can rebuild humanity with their seeds, yet in their madness they do not realize that they become weaker while the other races become stronger!

What am I supposed to do? Let everyone do what they want to? Save them and die? I have to protect humanity, but how can I protect them if they themselves do the best they can to self-destruct?!”, he exploded this time. His usually unbreakable calm fell apart at he became emotional.

“Fuck this, I am a god, but in the end, I am no saint. There is no one who can give a happy end to this story. You want a perfect person that can save everyone, you want me to feel guilty for what I decided, but ask yourself what would YOU do?!

I did what I had to do. For all those who came before me and died for humanity and for all those who will come after me. I take the blame I take the fault, but I will not accept you questioning my reasons!”, his eyes were wide open, filled with rage as he stared down on Saji. At some point he had stood up and now he was like a towering giant glaring at her.

Saji looked at him, but her gaze faltered. She had to lower her gaze.

He was right. He had to decide.

Her rage gradually subsided. He was right with what he did, and she knew it. There was no other way and if one looked at it objectively it had come as it had to. In truth she had been angry not because of the decision Ji had made, but his seeming indifference towards it.

But he was not indifferent.

“I’m sorry.”, she muttered.

He looked over to her, slowly regaining his composure. “Me too.”

It was obvious what he was talking about. Saji hesitated for a moment, finally she said it.

“It is not my place to forgive you as there is nothing I can forgive you for. I can only say that I understand and that it is ok.”

After a while Ji nodded. “It is ok…”, he stared of into the distance.

“It is ok.”, he resolved himself. He suddenly used his finger to cut off a few hairs on his head. They fell into his left hand, scattering on the white skin. He closed his hand. When he opened it again the hair had disappeared and instead a black symbol that looked as if it was made out of fabric laid inside his palm.

He gave it Saji.

“This is my symbol, if you press it against your skin it will become a tattoo at that location. There is almost no god who would dare to touch you when they see this symbol.”

Saji looked at the black symbol inside her hand. It was the outlines of a tree growing on a flat boulder. The branches of the tree were very detailed she could see every single leave of the foliage and the deep wrinkles of the bark.

“Take your time to decide where you want to place it on. Once you have used it no one, not even me can remove it again!”, Ji warned her.

“Thank you. I… appreciate it.”, she said.

Ji nodded. Then he changed the topic.

“I have already summoned the members of my faction. After we lost against the heaven the remaining human gods had to scatter and lay low, so we hadn’t had contact in a long time. It will take some time to rebuild our forces.”

“So, we will stay here?”, she asked.

“Well, lets say most of the time.”, he grinned and took her hand. Saji couldn’t react in time and both disappeared from the roof of their house.

They reappeared at the front door.

Ji glanced at Saji. “I’m still a god you know? Where ever I want to go, I just go there!”, they disappeared once again and appeared further in the forest.