《Death Regulator》Equanimity

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The car ride to Celesti's was sickening. Not only was Arik nervous for his date, but he was also alone with his own thoughts for a 20 minute car ride. On one hand he wanted the inevitable destination to never come, while on the other he just wanted to get there already and enjoy some much needed company. He needed it. He needed to be in someone's head and listen to someone else's problems for a change. Otherwise, insanity was quickly approaching at this rate.

He turned on the radio and listened to some music to take his mind off of the labyrinth of mystery that had been encircling him as of late. The rest of the car ride was an intentional blur.

He reached Celesti's house about 30 minutes away and parked off the road.

'This place is quite nice.' His eyes dressed the property, estimating and assuming its rental price, and thus, her salary.

He rang her doorbell and took a breath to calm his nerves.

'Alright Arik. You got this. Just don't act too shy or weird and don't come off too strong. You guys know each other. It's just like old times— Maybe don't talk about old times.'

The door opened up to the most beautiful women Arik had ever laid eyes on. The bright light from within her house cast an angelic nimbus around her frame and reminded him of the time he saw her at death's door as his angel of determination. A strong second came forth as a large dog with dark, luscious curly hair curiously poked its head out beside Celesti's legs in the doorway. Due to past texts, Arik already knew that the adorable dog was Whimsi, the labradoodle.

"Hey!" she sang while trying to keep the dog inside with her legs.

"Hi."

"You made it in really good time," she said as she closed the door behind her and stepped onto the porch.

Arik gave a nebbish shrug. "Well I swear I drove the speed limit, almost to a fault. People were honking at me the whole way."

"You? Driving?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know. It's as weird as it sounds."

Wow. Is that your car?" She gestured to the car on the road.

"Yeah. Well, kinda. No, I'm borrowing it."

"Arik!" She glided over to the car in amazement. "This is a lot of car for someone who doesn't drive regularly."

He swallowed his pride and dodged the unintentional insult. "Well now, I manage to drive this baby pretty okay. Plus, remember that time I popped a wheelie on that dirt bike and landed it?"

"It's called whiskey throttle and you almost cracked your skull open," she chortled.

"But I didn't." He held his finger out in triumph.

"Whatever you goober." Arik opened the door for her and gestured for her to get inside. "So where are we going now that we don't have any reservations?"

"Our secret place," he replied, giddy with excitement.

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The drive to their culinary oasis was filled with laughter and reminiscent memories starting with "remember this" or "what about the time when." They were conversations that no other two could have on this earth, creating a surreal experience that no two others could ever feel the vibe of.

"I can't believe I almost forgot about this place," Celesti professed while sitting down at a table with Arik.

"How could you forget about this place?!" Arik cried in shock.

She raised her eyebrows with an ashamed smile "I said almost," she corrected.

"Ah. Well I personally have never stopped thinking about this place's burritos. It keeps me up at night honestly."

She laughed and sipped on her coke.

The place was a secret mexican food truck nestled in the heart of an unassuming neighborhood somewhere between Arik and Celesti's respective homes. They would go there at least once a week back when they were together and would try everything on the menu until they settled on their favorite ones. Celesti always favored the Super Nachos while Arik the Chile Verde Wet Burrito. It eventually became a ritual of theirs.

Since their breakup years ago, Arik hadn't come back to this place even once. He assumed Celesti hadn't done the same based on how she talked of the place, like a longing for a precious possession once lost. In fact, Arik actually made it a point to avoid anything that reminded him of his past relationship with her. Not that it was terrible or he cared to forget it. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

He adored her and what they had. But the break up was his fault and anytime he stepped foot within a place of significant memory, he was just overwhelmed with the feeling of what once was and what he had done. Therefore, he hid from those places. So much so that those places grew in magnitude in his mind and he eventually felt cornered into being a hermit in his home.

They sat at a table near the truck and ate their food, talking whenever they could get a reprieve from the glorious food about life. The event was absolutely euphoric to Arik. It was a dream come true and he felt the constant need to pinch himself out of a dream. He wondered if she felt the same way.

However, current life topics were something worthy of avoidance for Arik and he went through great efforts to steer the conversation in a way that focused more on the past and her life. There were indeed multiple reasons why he didn't want to talk about current stuff, and he knew he would eventually buckle and look pathetic or crazy if he had to lie. Her loving eyes were always able to pry open his defense mechanisms and expose the real him down to the touchy-feely nerve endings.

But there was one major flaw to this communication tactic: there were only so many memories and topics for them to talk about with his metaphorical hand tied behind his back! The pressure was on and he could feel the walls closing in on him as she began to catch up to current times and wrap up her stories faster and faster.

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"I see. And what about current news? Any juicy reports yet to come?" he probed.

She rolled her eyes and trailed off into the distance. "Well, there is this one crazy story that everyone is buzzing about today. The incredible and viral flying man!" Her voice oscillated as if she was telling a scary ghost story.

Arik's heart dropped to the seat he was sitting on. "Oh? And what is all that about?"

She looked at Arik with a stare of disbelief. "How have you not heard?"

He blushed in embarrassment. He really didn't want to advertise his poverty out loud, especially not to her.

"Oh wait, that's right. You said you were sleeping. Well, there has been this rumor going around today that multiple people have seen this man flying around town. Some say he had been flying around the town terrorizing people while others say he just flew to the clouds and disappeared. It apparently happened much closer to where you live actually."

He strained himself to look as unassuming as humanly possible. "That sounds… ridiculous. Do you really believe that stuff?"

'Shit. People really did see me and it's spreading like wildfire on top of that. This could get much worse real fast.'

"Well, no. No I don't. But, I do think that it is a fun and cool story to get popular even if it is fake."

"What do you mean?"

"I think that the world has really gone to hell in a handbasket and that everything is always so dark and bleak around us. I feel it when I interact with people and see it on my way to and from work everyday. It's like the fun magic of life has been zapped from society.

But when I see a story like this get the kind of traction and recognition that it has, I can't help but feel warm and fuzzy. It's like everyone is still playing dress up and using their imagination. This is a story that people love to share with each other, and that interaction is important. I just wish it wasn't such a dead end lead. I wish I could actually find the man and interview him."

The words settled Arik a bit. He didn't like how close to home the conversation had gotten, but it was nice to hear someone talk about him indirectly under such a light. It was as if he felt that people out there, or at least her, would accept him if he went public with his powers.

"Is everything okay, Arik?" The weighted words were abruptly cast into the al fresco air. Her eyes darted around his face, analyzing and recognizing the hesitant game he had been playing.

"Y-yeah, of course? What do you mean? Don't I look okay?" he played coy, trying to recover the fumble that was happening before his eyes.

'This is bad,' he thought to himself. 'I've been caught. I really can't talk to her about the stuff going on recently.'

"I suppose you do. But I know you well, at least I used to, and it's my job to know people in general. I can tell you are deflecting and hiding something."

"I don't know what you mean, really," he replied with a stretch to attempt a further nonchalant attitude.

"Arik." Her eyes seemed to beam through his skull, as if she could simply read the answer on his head. "You're still doing it."

"I, uh—" He played a quick drum beat on the table with his fingers as he strained his mind to think of something quick. But the pressure from her tender yet powerful gaze scrambled his thoughts and rushed heat to his face.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me about certain things. I really do. But you have to know that I am here to listen and will never judge you. I want to hear the things you are hiding, the things that are hurting you."

He decided to stall by keeping the ball in her court. "Can you explain what seems so weird?"

"Well for starters—" she reached in and rubbed his cheek briefly. "you have a bit of swelling and redness on your face. Did you get into a fight recently?"

"Oh, that?" He chuckled. "That's just uhm, well yeah, I got hit in the face by someone on accident." He decided half truths were the key out of this one.

"Uh huh. And that car, it's insane and just so not you. No offense."

"None taken?"

"You are wearing this new jacket— which I do think looks nice on you by the way— that even matches the car like you are some nascar driver or at least some big car dude. Which we both know you are not. And then there is the whole being here right now in the first place." She earnestly looked him in the eyes for the truth. "Why did you move our date up to tonight?"

Both of their faces blushed with intensity as they realized the word date had escaped her lips. "I mean, or whatever this is that we are doing," she finished meekly.

Overwhelmed was the only word to describe Arik's state of being at the moment. He couldn't run and he couldn't hide, but he couldn't just tell the truth either. It was like an ensnaring trap that he had set up himself without knowing the true outcome. Sure, he tried to control the conversation and prevent this, but he should have known that her analytic and empathic abilities would be too much a match for him.

Still, he had to do something, now.

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