It had been a long journey. Once, Nero was used to travelling. He could go long distances with his pod or a hunting party, but even for him, this trip had been hard and far more taxing than he had ever anticipated. His heart was heavy with sorrow and regret, and more than a little guilt. Beside him, Karina was keeping pace, barely, but he was not swimming fast. Her head was bowed and she had been subdued and silent for almost two moons now. It had taken a long time to reach his family, between their combined grief and Karina’s lack of endurance and experience for travelling, their pace was drastically slowed.

He hated seeing Karina so distressed, but he knew she needed time. Still, it was hard to see the Mer he had fallen deeply in love with – the one who was usually so bright and excited – so down in the depths. He knew right now, Karina was surviving, not living. She followed him, she breathed, she slept, she fled if they needed to, she foraged and ate with him, but she rarely spoke anymore. He wanted to make it better for her, to gather her in his arms and assure her that everything would be alright, but he knew it was not alright and it would not be for a long time. He could barely comprehend the loss himself, much less imagine how to ease the agony of hers.

Her entire family, her reef, everything she had ever known, was dead. Dead and gone in a single storm. It had taken several turns for the two of them to stop retching and be able to breathe again after minimal exposure. He had needed to drag her away screaming and flailing or she would have badly poisoned herself past a point of recovery. They had only made it so far before exhaustion had claimed them. The dark sludge pooled in their gills and made them weak and sickly. It had been hard, but they had pulled through. Nero had hunted for her and helped her get her strength back, and every time he had needed to part with her, he made it as quick as possible. He was terrified he would return to find her gone, fled back to the death that awaited her at her former reef. But she had stayed, staring past him with a haunted look in her eyes and her lips parted with unspoken dismay.

When he finally managed to prompt her voice back, they had cried together and Karina had expressed her fears of where they were meant to go and what they were meant to do. He knew she did not understand why they lived when all the others had died. He had merely hugged her close and promised her that he would make sure she had a home again, no matter what. He had suggested finding his pod on a desperate whim and had been surprised when Karina agreed so easily, but he imagined she just did not have the strength to argue. She was hurting too badly.

He was torn from his thoughts when he heard her sniffle. Karina had her head bowed and her mane was drooped, and her emotional distress tore at Nero’s heart. Without hesitation, he gathered her in his arms and pulled her close to his chest. She squirmed in his grasp and he tightened it. She had been distant and it was not healthy. He knew she was angry with him, deep down, though she was not saying it, and he wished she would let that anger free instead of clinging to it packed in with her grief. “Karina,” he murmured into the skin of her neck. He sunk down until they were resting on the sand. “Please talk to me,” he begged as he cradled her.

She shook her head and when she spoke, it was through gritted teeth. “I cannot. It hurts.”

“I know,” he agreed. “But you have anger in you. I know you blame me and that is okay, I would rather you let it out and talk about it; this is not healthy and I am worried for you.”

“Nero, no. It is not fair. I know it is not fair, I just…”

Nero gently hushed her and kissed her brow. “It is okay,” he whispered. “I know it stems from grief, Karina, but it still cannot stay and fester inside of you. I promise, it is alright to get angry.”

She beat a fist against his chest and dropped her head against him as her body shook and Nero was bathed in the spicy scent of her anger. It was not true anger, he could taste it on her, it was superficial and formed of grief, desperate to blame something for her pain. “Why did you not just let me go?” she cried. “You dragged me back…I could have maybe gotten to them, gotten them out, they might have been okay. You stopped me. You stopped me and they are dead and I cannot take that back!”

Nero nodded. He pulled her close and rested his chin on the crown of her head. “We could not have helped them, Karina. We were exposed for a few heartbeats and you know how sickly it made us. They were exposed most of the night when a storm was churning the waters. They were likely already passed before we ever got back. If I had allowed you to venture deeper, you would have died.”

“Maybe it would have been better that way,” Karina muttered.

Nero shook his head and kissed the top of her head. “Perhaps it was only for selfish reasons that I pulled you away, Karina, and for that, I am sorry, but I was not prepared to lose you. I know you are hurting. I loved your family too, but my grief cannot compare to yours. Everyone you knew and loved…but someone should have survived that tragedy. They still live with you, you know that.”

Karina’s breath was wracked with shuddering sobs as her chest heaved. Then she shook her head. “No. Not everyone I love is gone,” she whispered. Her arms encircled him and he squeezed her gently in response. “I love you, Nero. You have been so understanding and patient, and I have been terrible to you these last few moons. You are hurting too and I have not made that any easier. I am not truly angry with you, it just hurts inside and I cannot bear it. I am sorry.”

Nero hummed and rubbed a hand up and down her spine while she shivered in his arms. “You do not have to apologize, Karina. I know you are not truly angry with me personally, you are mad at the grievous loss you just experienced. I am always going to understand, always going to be here for you no matter what, even if that just means holding you while you scream or bite or tell me you hate me. I will always hold you. I promised you that much.”

She shuddered and finally fell slack against him. “I could never hate you, ever,” she protested.

“I think you are missing my point,” he countered.

Her laugh was strangled and choked with more sobs, and he could feel her finger tracing on his chest while bubbles drifted from her gills. “This is not how I ever imagined I would meet your family,” she murmured. “On top of everything else, I am afraid to.”

“Why?”

Karina shrugged. “I am afraid they will not like me. I am afraid they will hate me and blame me for you being gone so long. They must think you are dead, Nero, I cannot imagine how they will feel to have you return from that believed death with the Mer responsible for your absence.”

Nero shook his head. He pried her away from his chest just far enough to bow his head and meet her lips. She shivered against him, but he held her tenderly and pressed their foreheads together. “You are responsible for nothing. You did not keep me from them, you helped me in more ways than just aiding in my recovery. It might feel strange at first, but I promise, my mother and father, and the rest of my pod are going to accept you; you are wonderful.”

“Useless, you mean,” Karina sighed. “I cannot fight or travel long distances easily, I barely know how to hunt, especially in open waters…What good am I to your pod?”

“We have talked about this,” Nero scolded gently. “No one is allowed to talk about you like that, especially yourself. You are wonderful, Karina. You are kind and caring and helpful, and you are always willing to learn. No, you have not been exposed to as many survival skills as my pod usually teaches, but you are not useless and you will have every opportunity to learn. I know your heart hurts and you are grieving, but I hope you will give this a chance; we will never forget your family, but I do not think your parents would want you to live your life in sorrow now.”

Karina was silent as Nero drew her back close for another hug. She placed a hand flat on his chest and forced a weak hum. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I know I will be happy, I do. I need time, but I will be happy anywhere with you. Just…stay with me, okay? I know you mentioned that you used to play a big role in your pod’s hunting parties but please do not leave me, okay? I do not know if I can be alone right now with so many I do not yet know.”

Nero kissed her again and stared into her desperate brown gaze. It was deep, like the shells of coconuts or the dark, sleek hide of a seal. He loved her eyes. He loved everything about her. “I am not going to leave you, Karina. I will be right by your side every moment of every day and night until you feel comfortable and okay again.”

Karina nodded and fell limp against him. “Thank you…Nero, I just miss them so much.” That sour, bitter taste washed over Nero’s senses and his heart squeezed. He ignored the cloying way it pooled in his gills and held her even closer. He began to pet her long, blonde hair, smoothing it back and pulling strands free of her pale orange mane. Karina’s body began to shake and though her sobs were muffled, her distress echoed like a cacophony in Nero’s head. He hated that she was in so much pain, but there was nothing he could do except hold her and assure her she was not alone until she wore herself out and slumped against him.

Once she fell silent, Nero shifted her so that he was hugging her shoulders with one arm and scooping up her tail in the other. She wiggled a bit in his grasp as he pushed from the ground and resumed swimming. “I can swim, Nero, you should not have to carry me like this,” she whispered. The exhaustion in her voice had him ignoring her assurances. They did not sound very reassuring anyway.

“I am fine to carry you,” he replied. “You know I love holding you close. You have been through a lot and deserve to rest. We will be there soon; before sunset at the latest.”

Karina murmured something against him, but the fight had drained from her. He smiled sadly down at her and then continued on his way. She had a heavy heart and the burden was exhausting her. He missed her spark and her smile, but he knew it would take time for those to come back. He still loved her dearly and nothing was going to change that. He nuzzled her cheek as he swam and she blinked sleepily up at him. She had good moments and bad, and he hoped with time and love, the good would gradually outweigh the bad.

***

He wound up making better time than he anticipated. He recognized the reef as he began to swim over it. His pod tended to settle here for a few moons out of the year and if he remembered correctly and nothing had changed, then they should have only recently arrived. That was good. A more stable home would help Karina adjust.

“Are we there?” Karina mumbled as she stirred in his embrace.

“Yes,” he replied.

That seemed to rouse Karina a bit more and her eyes widened. Her brows dipped together and her lip sucked in as she began to chew at it. “Nero-I…D-do we have to meet them all today? Could we wait until tomorrow, perhaps? I…I am not sure I am ready for this,” she admitted. Her mane drooped and Nero stalled in the water. He bowed his head to press a quick kiss to her lips before nuzzling her forehead with his nose.

“They will know we are here,” Nero admitted. “They probably already do. I think waiting might only make our scouts nervous.”

Karina sat up and Nero dropped his arms to allow her to rise properly. She worried at her lip some more and gazed around the empty stretch of reef. So far, they had not encountered any of his pod, but they would soon enough, Nero could taste it in the water.

Karina lashed her fins and wrapped her arms around her torso. “Are you sure this is okay? I have never ventured into another pod’s territory before. What is your pod’s etiquette?”

Nero reached out a hand to her and squeezed her fingers when she placed her palm in his. “Karina, I promise you that you have nothing to fear. I know you worry about rejection, especially after what happened, but my family is very welcoming. We would encounter many pods when we travelled when I was younger. Sometimes other migrating pods would join us in the currents for a while. You will not offend anyone and I will be by your side the entire while, okay?” With a flick of his fin, he closed the distance between them and caressed the soft flesh of her cheek with his thumb. She leaned into the touch. “I love you,” he reminded her as he leaned close until their noses touch.

Karina took a breath, and bubbles trickled out her gills and past her lips on the exhale, and she closed her eyes. “I love you too,” she echoed. “I am sorry, I am just more nervous than I thought I would be. I really want to meet your family, I do.”

Nero nodded. “I know. Let us go find them so you can stop stressing about how they will perceive you, okay? You have nothing to fear because while your worries will not come to pass, I would stay by you regardless, you do know that.”

Karina forced a smile and her head tilted to the side before she nodded. “I do,” she sighed. “I just do not want it to come to that.”

He hummed in agreement. “Neither do I, but I think you are underestimating the potential for a warm welcome and building this ill perception of yourself. Karina, you are my mate, even if you were terrible – and you are so far from terrible – my family would respect that. The only time we would have expelled someone from our ranks is if they were aggressive or endangering others. Do either of those things fit into your perception of how this is going to go?”

Karina smiled softly and shook her head. “No,” she agreed. “I have no desire to hurt anyone. But Nero, it is not about whether or not they will chase me off. You know there is a difference between tolerating me and accepting me. I am the reason you were gone so long. All this time, they have lacked answers or closure and have had to grieve an unknown. How can I not worry about how they will react?”

Nero shook his head and sighed softly. There was no reasoning with Karina when her anxieties took root like this. Even he could never fully assuage her concerns. So instead, he took her hand again and held it firmly. “We will face your fears together,” he decided. “Like we will do everything else.”

For a few heartbeats, Karina did not immediately reply. Then she took another breath and set her jaw. “Okay,” she agreed. “Let us go.”

Nero gave her hand another gentle squeeze and then set out over the coral shelf once more. He pulled her with him, refusing to allow her to yield to the hesitation he could feel in every stroke of her fins. Despite the tragedy that had spurred them to come here, Nero could not contain the spark of excitement. He had been quiet and reserved and a little distant with his pod at times, but he loved them and he had never found it in his heart to admit how much he had missed his mother and his father, and his younger sister, Kera. He was eager for the reunion and introductions.

As they swam, he began to wonder about his sister. She would be almost nine cycles now, he supposed. He wondered if she had hit a growth spurt yet. He certainly hoped she would forgive his prolonged absence. He had wanted to introduce Karina to his family ever since he began courting her. Though he had accepted they would be unlikely to leave her reef – not for a very long time, if ever – he had never lost the desire. He only wished Karina was not coming here under such duress.

It was a large reef, but they finally found his family in a sandy clearing surrounded by dense coral. They appeared to be lounging on wide, flat rocks. The sun was just beginning to dip in the sky and Nero figured that several had probably just returned from a fruitful hunt. He was about to disrupt a meal, but Nero did not imagine they would mind too much as he opened his mouth and released a series of short, meaningless clicks out into the water to grab their attention.

Several heads glanced up at them and though there was still a bit of distance between them all, Nero recognized many members of his family. There was silence for a moment, and then plenty of widened eyes and parted mouths, and fragmented conversations that all started up at once and Nero could not hear well enough to comprehend beyond broken noise.

He found his mother and father quickly among the crowd and felt relieved when they were the only two who rose from the sand and began swimming towards them. A crowd might have been too much for Karina to handle at the moment. As it was, she was squeezing his hand in a desperate way that was squishing them painfully together. He did not complain though.

Rebecca reached them first, and she slammed into Nero with enough force to knock him back in the water. The force pulled his hand from Karina’s, but he did not have time to reclaim it as his mother squeezed him tightly enough to constrict his lungs. When she pulled away, she cupped his cheeks and though her smile was wide, there was a panicked desperation in her eyes. “Nero,” she breathed. “Oh, my baby…we thought…” she broke off with a shake of her head. “It does not matter. You are here and unharmed.” She pressed a kiss to his brow and emotion swelled in Nero’s chest. He had always tried to be independent, but he had not realized how much he had missed his family until this moment.

He lurched forward and wrapped his arms around her. “I missed you too,” he murmured. His mother’s responding purr rumbled against his chest and it was several heartbeats before she pulled away from his embrace.

She was only gone for a moment before Nero was being yanked into a second hug. His father’s hug made his bones creak and he winced, but endured the display of affection. “You scared us,” his father murmured. “I went looking for you. There was no trace. What happened to you?”

Nero shook his head. “Later,” he replied. “When we are settled, I will tell you both the entire story. For now, we need to rest, and I would like to introduce you.”

He squirmed away to check on Karina, who had backed up a few paces and was hugging her arms around her chest. Her dark gaze was flicking between them while she gnawed on her lip, and her mane was lowered flat to her skull. He hurried to her side and wrapped an arm around her waist as he pulled her closer to his parents. “Mother, father, I would like for you both to meet Karina; my travel partner and my mate.”

He watched as Karina’s face reddened and she waved slowly in their direction. “Hello.”

His mother’s gaze lit up and a wide smile flowed across her face as she glanced between them. She shook her head. “Nero, I never imagined you would find a life-partner so early in life. You have always been so shy. It is lovely to meet you, Karina. My name is Rebecca and this is Ixion.”

Karina nodded and flashed a small smile in Nero’s father’s direction as well. Nero could feel the anxiety rolling off of her in every quiver of her body against his, in every shift of her gaze and twitch of her fins, and how her fingers curled into her opposite arm just a little too hard so that the skin creased and her fingertips turned the shade of bone. He rubbed her opposite arm and set his jaw. He could see some of his other family members beginning to drift a little closer and knew their curiosity would not be kept back for much longer. “Mother, father, it has been a very taxing journey,” Nero admitted. “Is there somewhere quiet we can all go to rest and I will explain things better then as well?”

His father nodded and motioned with a hand. “That is probably a good course of action. Come this way.”

As they swam, Nero pulled Karina close and kissed the back of her head. He reclaimed one of her hands and gripped it firmly. “Together,” he reminded in a whisper.

She tilted her head back to smile at him and she nodded. Her mane was still flicking back and forth, but it was no longer pressed to her skull and she seemed to be calming. “Together,” she agreed.