Yahoo Messenger: 7 September 2000 01:03 AM

Subject: a planned way of living

romeobanglore: hello....

julietscity: yes

julietscity: read my mails first

romeobanglore: this time...you are late by 10 minutes!

julietscity: sorry...only one mail

julietscity: no, I was replying your mail

romeobanglore: hmm...ok...

julietscity: after sending it, I wait for you

romeobanglore: no.....why u didn't come to chatroom? I was here from exact 9:30

julietscity: I am in messenger

romeobanglore: I too am in messenger

julietscity: but I didn't connect my server at first, after I sent my mail to you...I connected

romeobanglore: ok....I am reading your mail now...I got it just now

julietscity: 9:00pm I was replying your mail...

romeobanglore: the mail was sent at 9:30....I got it now....I was in messenger at 9:30

julietscity: yes

julietscity: when will you leave tonight?

romeobanglore: spelling mistake....It is pussy.....not puffy

romeobanglore: and it is penis...not pienis

julietscity: how many minutes do I have? Because when I asked you to chat tonight ... you were a little skeptical

romeobanglore: I told my friends that I will come at 10 o'clock to play cards....but

romeobanglore: it is ok..

julietscity: no...no... you only have 30 minutes left now....

romeobanglore: now the time is 9:45...but don't mind it

julietscity: no...you need time to walk home...so...20 left now

romeobanglore: where is your watch?

julietscity: in my room

romeobanglore: it takes only 2 minutes to walk back

julietscity: ok...you have a date tonight

romeobanglore: I use the watch you gave me

julietscity: so...all the words I want to say are all in the mail I sent

romeobanglore: it is just an informal decision to play cards...nobody will complain if I don't go

julietscity: my computer has a timer

romeobanglore: you asked me why I don't worry on you, right?

julietscity: hmm!

julietscity: because you think I might busy or have something to do

romeobanglore: no...it is just that I believe you

julietscity: no

julietscity: it's not the kind of believe...or trust

romeobanglore: when you become angry I feel that you are not being mad on me

julietscity: worry...it's not mean like that

romeobanglore: that is what I told ...I do worry on you.... but since I believe you, I know what you are thinking most of the time

julietscity: worry...because two of us didn't tell anything IN ADVANCE

romeobanglore: so there is no doubt about your anger

julietscity: but I don't want to be angry all the time ...

romeobanglore: you know there is a bit difference in the life in S city and here....

julietscity: how come?

romeobanglore: one thing is this...that here things are not always planned

romeobanglore: in my case...there is no concrete plans...everything is informal

julietscity: no way...

romeobanglore: so most of the time... even I don't know what is going to happen

julietscity: This is not a different life anywhere ... it depends on your own rules or principles

romeobanglore: that is why I can't tell everything in advance

julietscity: no!

julietscity: it's toooooooooooo irresponsible!!!

romeobanglore: you are right...but the sense of planning comes from the kind of society you live

julietscity: No one knows what will happen, but when things happen, you have a responsibility to tell who might be waiting for you

romeobanglore: for example...today's decision of playing cards....everyone expect me...but even if I am not there, they will not make it an issue

julietscity: play cards is different

julietscity: it's a game... they can arrange another one to take over without you

romeobanglore: you know when something happens...you will not know what and where and when it happens

julietscity: but if you promised me when to do it or when to meet...then how can you say...things happened and I met a friend, so I won't back home for dinner???

romeobanglore: yes...cards is a game....it is your point of view...but if they take it seriously...then things are different

romeobanglore: to forget a promise is not fair, I know...

julietscity: But ... if play card is a routine party between friends ... if you can't come ... even call them and explain that you are late ... you will lose their respect

romeobanglore: I don't think so...because if I tell them that I had a date with you, they will understand

romeobanglore: today there will not be any game because I am not there. we are only 3 people...if one is not there, no play will be there

julietscity: here...some people always late for date...or late for school...it's not the different life between society...it's the attitude about the person

romeobanglore: it might be the collective attitude of the people around them

romeobanglore: because in an office, if everyone is on time, nobody will come regularly late

julietscity: yes, they will understand...but when??? After you go home and tell them... or now you have to pick up the phone and tell them you may not go home at 10:00.

julietscity: so...it's your attitude...not your society different, right?

romeobanglore: there is no phone....no way to tell them...but now they may understand that I may not come

romeobanglore: it is not exactly the whole society. it is the people who are around you.

romeobanglore: these are some things which is not going to kill anyone...so they will not make an issue out of it

julietscity: yes... I live in a place where every house has a phone ... even a mobile phone ... Kindergarten kids may bring their mobile phones after two years

romeobanglore: that is a different issue...

romeobanglore: it is not that there is no phone that prevents me from doing it

julietscity: But for me...ONLY for ME...can you do something different?

romeobanglore: only for you, I always try to be different

julietscity: always?

romeobanglore: you may not know....I am a bit lazy

julietscity: when you went out ... and didn't return to the office ... Have you ever worried about me? Thinking of my anger?

romeobanglore: I try to be myself, but certain things I try to change, because I know you don't like it

romeobanglore: when was it? Saturday?

julietscity: no...no...

julietscity: you can be yourself...

romeobanglore: when did this happen? Saturday?

julietscity: nobody can change other people's characters...only if they think the change is necessary or they learn it well...don't try to give me an excuse because I don't like it...

julietscity: yes! Sat.

romeobanglore: it is not changing the character...it is showing the character

julietscity: I don't want you to "try to change" for others, it should be that you want to be great and change

romeobanglore: I may not have changed my character...what I do is not to show you those characters which you don't like

romeobanglore: that is how people deal with others

julietscity: This is your life... or the life you want to be with another woman... if you think you have changed for that woman... then... this is a danger sign ... because...

romeobanglore: Saturday, I didn't think that you will be worried....because the date was not any important thing

romeobanglore: that was not a special day

romeobanglore: when you decide to live with another person. you will have to change, or adjust

romeobanglore: it is not always yours only life

julietscity: So... I wrote to you... Every word you said... even if it wasn't an important day... only me, a stupid girl, took it seriously and waited for you

romeobanglore: just some time back, you asked me can I do this only for you...what does that mean? it means...you want me to change

romeobanglore: hey...don't say like that...I too was serious..

julietscity: ok...don't change it...keep your character and I know it now...

julietscity: If possible, don't hide part of the character in real life...

romeobanglore: it is not like that....the character of a person includes how he behaves to others also

julietscity: I'm just not used to it ... now I have to check all your friends' attitudes towards life ... then I might know your personality

romeobanglore: attitude of life is nothing specific...nobody lives for attitudes...attitudes are meant for living

julietscity: then... Why is it that only I have a problem ... but no one has a problem like me?

romeobanglore: your concept of life is very strict...that is why

julietscity: nobody cares about time... nobody cares about the date... nobody cares about promises

romeobanglore: I do care for you

julietscity: Now you know my concept of life is very strict...can you stand it?

julietscity: I tooooo know you can't

romeobanglore: and I understand your concept

romeobanglore: I have stood it all these time

romeobanglore: and I don't find it too difficult...I am very much flexible

julietscity: If my living conditions are good enough ... then, I don't have to be strict with myself ... because no one likes to live like this

romeobanglore: have I ever became too angry with you?

julietscity: If you want to get angry... you get angry... don't be too flexible with me... it hurts

romeobanglore: it is your way of living... you get pleasure from a planned way of living

julietscity: I won't take it as a pleasure!!!!

julietscity: I prevented any mistakes because I already planned

romeobanglore: I have not got angry...because I understand that you are another human being with thoughts and feelings of your own

julietscity: If you follow my plan and search for jobs early... now you have learned to use Java or other knowledge...

romeobanglore: you have prevented mistakes...but sometimes you miss the informal way of living

romeobanglore: the pleasure, you may not know it...but it is always there, giving you satisfaction

romeobanglore: you think so because you don't know the actual situation

romeobanglore: to think one by one is easy, but when things all come together...it becomes difficult

julietscity: If I don't need any planning, money may fall from the sky ... I can live without anyone bothering ... I will choose to be a free person

romeobanglore: people can plan to live...but that is different from living to plan

romeobanglore: plan when it is needed. but when you go to piss, you need not plan how to sit

julietscity: god...please...don't treat me as a fool

romeobanglore: I didn't intend that...you tried to convince me...I tried to convince you...that's all

romeobanglore: enough of this talk, OK???

julietscity: First of all, I don't want you to change yourself ... you probably won't change ... you just didn't show me all your characters

romeobanglore: everyone who lives in a society is like that

romeobanglore: for example, you...you are really a soft person, but you always behave hard in your office

julietscity: I think you will change a little bit because you promised me in other ways before...

romeobanglore: that is what I said, to change a character that I got from the past 24 years needs a bit time to get changed

julietscity: but as you said tonight...you just didn't show your characters, right? so...the part of you...only understand my thought but didn't agree with my suggestion, right?

romeobanglore: I try to change... people who have known me earlier can make out that I have changed a lot

romeobanglore: understanding is the first step to agreeing

romeobanglore: adjusting is he first step to changing

julietscity: What have you changed since we met?

julietscity: What has changed in my character since we met?

romeobanglore: one, main thing is that I write regularly to you... my friends or parents will not believe it

romeobanglore: you know I very rarely call my parents

romeobanglore: I behave same to most of the friends also

romeobanglore: I can't say your change

romeobanglore: it is your feeling

romeobanglore: you wanted to become a priest of Buddha...that has been changed

julietscity: One major thing is that I keep crying ... I hold two babies every night when I sleep, and then I start chatting with the dolls

romeobanglore: I am sorry I made you cry

julietscity: When I go to the bathroom and wherever I may become lonely... I think of you every time, even walking home on the street and biking

romeobanglore: I really am sad about that part of our relationship...you always cry

romeobanglore: because of me

romeobanglore: that is the same with me

romeobanglore: when I wake up, I start to see your face...and I see it till I fall asleep

julietscity: I became a stupid girl ... not the clever girl my friends are familiar with

romeobanglore: yesterday while playing cards also I thought of playing with you...that is why I wrote about that in today's mail

julietscity: I turn on the computer every day... except when I'm angry with you, I won't turn on the computer.

romeobanglore: see...you try to project yourself as a very smart girl to your friends...isn't it hiding some of your character

romeobanglore: my computer, I have to open every day, otherwise the company will kick me out...hahaha

julietscity: I get along with men easily, and I don't fear men. I've watched sex videos ... I don't feel terrible ... because I know what sex is

romeobanglore: why you said this?

julietscity: The stupid side is that I don't get a lesson every time I get hurt. The stupid side is that someone gave me advice but I didn't listen. The stupid side is that people say there is no true love in the world, but I'm still waiting... they don't understand such a smart girl, but don't follow the advice?

romeobanglore: hey....

romeobanglore: are u there?

julietscity: that's the part of my change

romeobanglore: the changed thing from you...I have already been like that before also

romeobanglore: I believed in love even if I was hurt

julietscity: I don't know that you will be lazy ... I never thought of you like that ... because you never showed me

romeobanglore: and advice...I don't take much advice...now and before also

romeobanglore: I never showed that I am lazy because normally my laziness comes when I am idle...without anything important to do

romeobanglore: you know that I do everything in the last minute

julietscity: you think everything toooooo much so you make it late

romeobanglore: when I am challenged with any task, I give my very best

julietscity: Maybe I'm wrong ... you're just too lazy to think ... so you're always late

romeobanglore: I think too much? this was my complaint about you first...now you complain the same about me

julietscity: You think everything is detailed and making decisions is slow ... so I think you think too much

romeobanglore: I think when I feel it is time

julietscity: time in India means nothing, right?

julietscity: You have plenty of time

romeobanglore: so now you understood that I don' think anything...just sit here lazily and dream, right?

romeobanglore: how do you know I have plenty of time?

julietscity: no...don't dream...dream means that you still have to think...as you said...you just lazy to make decision or don't know how to do...you ever had said it

romeobanglore: time in India means time, not everything

romeobanglore: being lazy and don't know what to do is entirely different things

julietscity: yes...I know

romeobanglore: even if the result is same

julietscity: you see...

romeobanglore: you don't know about my time

julietscity: You didn't tell me much of your time

romeobanglore: you don't know because I never told you that I am too busy

romeobanglore: I didn't talk, about my time...what difference that would have made if I had talked?

julietscity: yes... I know you're busy... That's why I think your company cares about you so much, so there is a lot of work for you, not others

julietscity: I can understand you more...

romeobanglore: no... you don't know... you just said that I have plenty of time

julietscity: besides working five days a week... You have two full days of vacation

romeobanglore: it is better if I hide things from you. Now I accidently told that I am a bit lazy and you have kicked up a storm about that

romeobanglore: and I have told you what I do in those 2 days

romeobanglore: I get up late, go-to breakfast and lunch at a faraway place (because they have my favorite style)

romeobanglore: then I come back, wash my clothes... take a rest and go to lunch...

romeobanglore: after that I come to office...

romeobanglore: to chat with you or read your mails

julietscity: If you want to hide something for me, there is nothing I can do.

romeobanglore: and this is the only time I can go for a movie or meet my friends

romeobanglore: it is not hiding purposely...there never comes any situation to say or show these things

romeobanglore: just as I may not know all your characters

julietscity: thanks, maybe I didn't show them all yet

romeobanglore: maybe

julietscity: plenty of time...doesn't mean...I don't know how to say

romeobanglore: it's ok...lets us leave this for a while

julietscity: do you think I don't know that you have to eat breakfast, lunch, chat with friends, washing clothes...it's not the point about plenty of time

julietscity: the time does not mean days...it's a period of time...

romeobanglore: then where is the time? we always say on Sundays "how fast the weekend went!"

julietscity: I want to review the words we chat before

romeobanglore: my friend had joined for a course one month back...but still he could not attend more than 4 or 5 classes

romeobanglore: now I understood what you meant

julietscity: but I don't understand yours

julietscity: your friend and his course

romeobanglore: now about joining the course...time was really not there for the past few months, because all the weekdays I stayed very late and on Saturdays I had to come here to work with colleagues from Germany

romeobanglore: now I have a bit time...but that also I have to manage it carefully, because I am doing two projects at the same time

romeobanglore: still I am studying Java

romeobanglore: well...it is very late for you...

julietscity: what's the point about all your talking right now? I don't follow yours

romeobanglore: let us stop this discussion and talk about something else

julietscity: ok

romeobanglore: I am trying to tell about my time

julietscity: is that important?

romeobanglore: ok.........stop those ...we will continue later....

romeobanglore: about time

julietscity: All I need is when you promise to date me ... don't forget the time

romeobanglore: ok...I won't forget from now onwards...

julietscity: what's next?

julietscity: when will you back home?

julietscity: do you feel sleeping now?

romeobanglore: only personal things

julietscity: what?

romeobanglore: I am not sleeping

romeobanglore: dreaming about you

romeobanglore: sweet nothings

julietscity: it's difficult. you don't know what I am looking now

romeobanglore: what you are looking?

julietscity: short hairs...fat face

julietscity: terrible looking

romeobanglore: hahaha no...you are pretty

romeobanglore: I know that

julietscity: when will you back home?

julietscity: oh...there is no plan

julietscity: sorry for asking

romeobanglore: like it was in Frankfurt

romeobanglore: hahaha...no plan

romeobanglore: my plan has been rewritten by today's chat!

romeobanglore: no playing cards

julietscity: where?

julietscity: no, I am asking about when will you back from your parent's house?

romeobanglore: no playing anymore...will go and sleep...thinking of you

julietscity: When shall I open my computer to receive your mails

romeobanglore: 18th

romeobanglore: I will be back on 18th.....before that you don't have to wait...I can't be sure that I will send mail

julietscity: Today is Sep. 6...are you sure that you will be back on 18th?

julietscity: it's tooooooo long for your leaves?

romeobanglore: yes

julietscity: two weeks?

julietscity: Oh my god?

romeobanglore: I am not taking so many leaves...some of them are compensation for working late in the night and working on holidays and Saturdays

julietscity: I have enough time to find another person to replace you

romeobanglore: ok...try....I will also try...hahaha

julietscity: I want the same leaves for me!!!!

julietscity: don't worry. After you get home, your parents will arrange a lot of new girls for you

romeobanglore: I am not taking many leaves...only 2 or 3 leaves....the rest are not leaves

romeobanglore: it is called comp-off (compensatory off)

romeobanglore: no....they won't

julietscity: anyway, I want the same leaves for me!!!

romeobanglore: for you I have lots of leaves left

romeobanglore: I can take 10 days leave anytime I want

romeobanglore: that is for you

julietscity: when?

romeobanglore: but you don't want to meet me before I get a job, right?

romeobanglore: so there is no need of any leaves for you

julietscity: I don't want you to waste the tickets charge twice

romeobanglore: ok