Yahoo Messenger: 22 July 2000 09:01 PM

Subject: the "I loved you" day

julietscity: I am home

romeobanglore: great!!!!!

julietscity: do you have enough time for only me?

romeobanglore: you drove very fast

julietscity: I lost pears and cherries on my bike

romeobanglore: what are pears?

julietscity: fruit

romeobanglore: oh....you drove very fast

julietscity: the fruits are for my sister, but I lost them

romeobanglore: why so slow?

julietscity: are you still busy typing with others, then I will wait for you

romeobanglore: no...your messages are reaching me late

julietscity: no, I am just waiting

romeobanglore: I am talking to you only

julietscity: and read your mail today about discussion

romeobanglore: hmmmm...that happened yesterday

julietscity: I know, and talking about everything can't be solved

romeobanglore: even I think so

julietscity: Neither of us was able to book time for us in the past week.

romeobanglore: this time I waited

julietscity: you know what it mean?

romeobanglore: oooh...you are going to say I didn't wait all the time, right

julietscity: I don't talk to you so frankly

julietscity: I don't like that

romeobanglore: when????

julietscity: because there are some words I couldn't talk or discuss with you

romeobanglore: what are those...tell me now

julietscity: we know that or we felt something wrong...but

julietscity: Are you serious about me?

romeobanglore: something wrong...??? what?

julietscity: Why do you come to the office the most?

romeobanglore: I have been serious with you. Why did you ask now?

romeobanglore: I come to office on holidays to read your mail

romeobanglore: why did you ask?

julietscity: and...I couldn't write exactly correct English to you, if I wrote some bad feeling to you, you have to tell me

romeobanglore: ok....I will

julietscity: 30 mins ago, I called you up, I wanted to chat with you

romeobanglore: okkkk

julietscity: I looked for you the whole day

romeobanglore: then....

julietscity: because I was afraid of losing you again.

romeobanglore: I told you....I thought you had to work today

julietscity: We didn't make an appointment to chat last week

romeobanglore: I came here to chat with you

julietscity: You don't have to explain, I know. I just try to tell you why I looked for you

romeobanglore: ok

julietscity: I scheduled my time at around 1:00pm, if you were there and I didn't access your mail then you might leave

julietscity: so I called you up, and one of your friend told me that you didn't come to the office.

romeobanglore: I didn't come today morning

julietscity: Last week was a special week for us, some days for you and some days for me, and some days for us...

romeobanglore: yes...that was a special week...and we messed it up!

julietscity: no, maybe I messed it up!!!

romeobanglore: hey...let us leave who messed it up question...tell me what u are thinking

romeobanglore: I don't understand

julietscity: after all the experiences I had been, you know I couldn't forget some rules or forbidden things to you

romeobanglore: what are they?

julietscity: I did some rules or some bad experiences in my mind

julietscity: That's why I can't be so close to you

julietscity: do you feel that?

julietscity: Chat via our last call

romeobanglore: sometimes..yes..I felt so

julietscity: I don't like that!

romeobanglore: I too don't like that

romeobanglore: but none of these things have affected me

julietscity: Why do I have to force myself to feel closed to you

julietscity: why?

romeobanglore: because you tried to keep distance from me

julietscity: nothing could affected you?

julietscity: Do you know why I do this?

romeobanglore: it affected, but not in a bad way...I understood the things

julietscity: how

romeobanglore: even now you are not telling what is in your mind

julietscity: still the same,

julietscity: Like the story in my short story

romeobanglore: try to tell...maybe we can overcome it

julietscity: I did it before

julietscity: I try to tell myself what may or may not be between us

julietscity: I told our babies every night

romeobanglore: told what?

julietscity: may or may not be together

romeobanglore: and what do you think?

julietscity: half and half

romeobanglore: means...

julietscity: Part of me believes this and never tries to give myself a hope

romeobanglore: it is sure that I will go abroad...and I try my best to be in your city

julietscity: I can't even have any plans or hopes for you, and if I did, I might fight you again in a few days ...

romeobanglore: I told you what I think. I think it is possible for us to live together if we wish

julietscity: Every word of mine is always a complaint for you, you will feel bored or upset

romeobanglore: The only main thing is that if I don't get a job in your city, I may have to go somewhere else

romeobanglore: I never felt boring to discuss such things

romeobanglore: I said you complain when you become angry for small issues

julietscity: no, if I feel like expected to much then I of course will complain

romeobanglore: My concern is not about living together for 1 year. After that

julietscity: no...I couldn't expect after that

romeobanglore: I don't have any problem with your complaints...but that time you made it a big issue

romeobanglore: honey..."after that" is important. It is your life too....

julietscity: yes, each time... If I don't expect you, it would just like the phone we talked tonight

romeobanglore: today, I didn't talk openly because Devesh is here

romeobanglore: that is why I didn't force you to talk also

julietscity: I couldn't tell frankly with you, because I couldn't ask you...

julietscity: I couldn't think too much...I couldn't plan or think things in my own way...

romeobanglore: why?? You can ask to me...it is your right

julietscity: I give up my right!

romeobanglore: I have never complained about you asking for more, right?

julietscity: I asked for you and if you didn't do what I think, I will complain or get angry. We will fight and complain...everything will happen again

romeobanglore: The only time was that anniversary day...you became angry because I didn't say any idea to celebrate

julietscity: all the anger and complain are from my side, I know you are too kind for me

romeobanglore: you know...I am chatting from office...there might be many problems while fixing a time...you know...if I had a computer in my home this would not have been the case

julietscity: I also know my temper is bad and your patience with me

romeobanglore: I am not being kind. I believe that it is natural

romeobanglore: I am not being patient also...I am enjoying our love life

julietscity: why I can't enjoy our love life?

romeobanglore: you know in my hometown there is a saying..."pots and plates will make noise because they live together"

romeobanglore: you have some doubts on me...I feel sometimes...that I am not sincere to our plans

julietscity: yes...I didn't enjoy our love life, why? I only thought of having sex with you

romeobanglore: that is why you can't take everything easily

romeobanglore: having sex and smiling and laughing all the time is not the only life

julietscity: yes, I feel sometimes, you aren't sincere to our plans

romeobanglore: there will be problems too

romeobanglore: because you feel doubt about my sincerity on our plans, you have doubt on my sincerity on our love too

julietscity: doubt?

julietscity: or communicate with facing reality?

romeobanglore: yes

julietscity: you know what?

romeobanglore: face reality? What is reality?

julietscity: For some lovers, they like to spend a happy time together, regardless of the length of time, they like to be happy together

julietscity: in our case, one year later

julietscity: I dare not even think ...

romeobanglore: to be happy together for a short time is easy...but in a long term relationship...it is not that easy

julietscity: I am not sure you will be with me

julietscity: that's the doubt on my side as you said

romeobanglore: I told you, I will go abroad. If I get a job in your country...then no problems...but if the job is not in your place???

romeobanglore: no...that is not the doubt I said. I said you have doubt on my sincerity to our love

julietscity: when you told me about July 20, your 2 years experience

julietscity: after that, you can look for another job...

julietscity: you know what I felt?

romeobanglore: We didn't have any fight before we met, remember? But why after that?

romeobanglore: Yes, I told you about July20. I have finished 2 years now...I am ready to start

romeobanglore: what did you feel?

julietscity: I have a lot of feelings for you, and then it became an agreement

romeobanglore: what is that

romeobanglore: we will not talk about my job for 2 months, right?

romeobanglore: that agreement?

romeobanglore: yes...within 2 months I will start searching

julietscity: We can only talk after August

romeobanglore: the rest is all luck

romeobanglore: yes...after Aug

julietscity: So ... when you told me about July 20, I had nothing to say

romeobanglore: I knew that...so I mentioned it in my mail

romeobanglore: see...we make agreements for us. We are not made for agreements

julietscity: I can't express any of my feelings

romeobanglore: you understand the difference?

romeobanglore: we make agreements to make us happy.

julietscity: Seems to be my fault again

romeobanglore: If the agreement is not serving its purpose, we have to rethink about it

romeobanglore: leave the question of who's fault

julietscity: no...in this case...I didn't complain like that

romeobanglore: your fault is not different from my fault

julietscity: Before you actually find somewhere ... then we can talk

romeobanglore: this is not complaining...we are talking about the validity of our agreement

julietscity: if it's not.. I would ask again as early as August.

romeobanglore: talking will reveal intentions and hurdles...so it is necessary

romeobanglore: you can ask

julietscity: no...

romeobanglore: an agreement is not a stone...we can change it

romeobanglore: because we made the agreement or us

julietscity: I did ask, we discussed it and the solution was to wait after August.

romeobanglore: the agreement should not eat us

romeobanglore: it should not make us unhappy

romeobanglore: ok...if that gives us the satisfaction...then it is ok...

julietscity: I didn't complain or get angry that the agreement was wrong

romeobanglore: but you can of course ask about that if you feel like asking

romeobanglore: you or I should not suffocate under an agreement

julietscity: hmmm...

julietscity: I want to say...

romeobanglore: understood?

julietscity: no

romeobanglore: want to say what?

romeobanglore: just now Devesh left

julietscity: I won't let things happen twice

julietscity: I don't know...I just always remind myself not to do things repeat

romeobanglore: ok....but see...you should not suffer

romeobanglore: just because of an agreement

julietscity: because you and I have some agreement

romeobanglore: follow the essence of the agreement...not the words of the agreement

julietscity: of course

romeobanglore: so...it is clear...what I said

julietscity: I don't like to disturb anyone, even you ... It's not easy for me to bother anyone

romeobanglore: you don't bother me...and if you bother me...it is my choice...not yours...ok?

julietscity: that's my habits

julietscity: I get used to thinking like that, act like that ...

romeobanglore: ok...but you don't bother me...or if you bother me...it is just like the pots and plates

romeobanglore: so...nothing wrong with that

romeobanglore: the only thing which made me angry that day was....

julietscity: I asked you so many times...why are you so sure...

romeobanglore: you doubted my sincerity on our anniversary

romeobanglore: I say from what I feel about you...

romeobanglore: that is why I am sure

romeobanglore: I am sure of my feelings

julietscity: hmmm

romeobanglore: hmmm....boo boo

julietscity: yes...that's what I need

romeobanglore: can u call me now? I am alone here...I need your kiss

julietscity: I am with my family, they are watching the poor baby from V-8

julietscity: they are so close to me

julietscity: maybe after one hour

romeobanglore: hmmm....too bad....

julietscity: they will go to sleep

romeobanglore: but then I have to go for dinner

julietscity: oh...

julietscity: with friends?

romeobanglore: yes....

romeobanglore: what to do?

julietscity: you see...I couldn't make a choice

romeobanglore: it is ok for me to cancel the dinner

julietscity: I don't want to say that I wish you to stay with me

romeobanglore: but today is Saturday...I have to inform the person who gives us dinner early

romeobanglore: I wish to stay with you

julietscity: yes,... I know it's very impolite to cancel

julietscity: If I have a date with a friend, I will not change the date

romeobanglore: it is not just cancelling...it is a rule

romeobanglore: I don't mind changing date with friends, because we are all informal

julietscity: what's a rule?

romeobanglore: but this is not a date

julietscity: I like to be with you ... I have missed you every day for the past week

romeobanglore: the place we go to eat have only some customers...so they make only limited amount of food. It is a house. Open from 8:30 to 10. If someone is not going one day, he has to inform the house people

romeobanglore: I also missed you...even now

romeobanglore: I need you sit on my lap and I will hug you close

julietscity: did you read the first mail you sent to me

romeobanglore: what was that?

julietscity: do you know when I said I love you?

julietscity: just guess

romeobanglore: yes....when I said that you have the ability to make the readers feel that you are sitting with them really

julietscity: Ha...it's too late for you to check your mails now

romeobanglore: right?

julietscity: YES!!!

romeobanglore: hahaha

julietscity: WHEN?

romeobanglore: why did you ask it now?

romeobanglore: what when?

julietscity: after I read all the mails during July...last year, I found it

julietscity: the "I loved you" day

romeobanglore: I never forgot that I always remembered that letter

julietscity: WHEN

romeobanglore: when was that? which day?

romeobanglore: today????

julietscity: July...

julietscity: no

romeobanglore: then????

romeobanglore: 30?

romeobanglore: I can tell some of the sentences you wrote in that mail

julietscity: 28 midnight but over 29

romeobanglore: that means next Friday

julietscity: July is a magic month

julietscity: no...don't plan it...

romeobanglore: hahaha...you are the gift of July to me

romeobanglore: boo boo

julietscity: This is the reason why I am always angry

julietscity: I planned things, but things never did as I wished

romeobanglore: when we were together you never showed your anger to me

julietscity: because you always follow my intentions

romeobanglore: ok...we won't plan it...just let loose

julietscity: hmmmm

romeobanglore: why? for example?

julietscity: in S city, you respect me too much so there was nothing to...

julietscity: feel angry

romeobanglore: and Frankfurt?

julietscity: in Frankfurt,

julietscity: I didn't feel that comfortable because of the weather, So you didn't force me to do what I didn't do

julietscity: I was only angry with the bus driver

romeobanglore: yes....I was also...but we showed it in different ways

julietscity: I did not insist that you accept my point of view...

romeobanglore: I avoided a confrontation with him mainly because I am not as good as him in the German language!

romeobanglore: and you thought that we have to get an apology from him at any cost

julietscity: there were some things you could mad on me, but you didn't

romeobanglore: why should I be mad on you if you were angry with the driver?

julietscity: I didn't let you kiss by the river

romeobanglore: hmmm...I have always wanted to ask about that...why you didn't allow me to kiss there?

julietscity: I didn't know, just felt bad...

romeobanglore: you were trying to make me angry???

julietscity: Regarding the driver, I feel insulted because I am a foreigner

julietscity: no, I didn't do that on purpose

romeobanglore: I too am a foreigner....and we can't do anything in a foreign country if those people don't keep their manners

romeobanglore: why you didn't allow me to kiss that time...It has puzzled me always

julietscity: maybe your attitude, you can do something but stay silent

romeobanglore: I don't understand that

romeobanglore: what we can do in that country?

romeobanglore: you don't know...Germany is a country where racism exists

julietscity: fight for my respect in any country

julietscity: Did he look down on us?

romeobanglore: of course I will...but if at that time I had got into an argument, he will abuse you, me and our countries also

romeobanglore: yes, some of the people

romeobanglore: not all

julietscity: I hate Germany

romeobanglore: most of them are good...but some of them are idiots. They are called skinheads

romeobanglore: The Germans also don't like these people

julietscity: If I got money some other days, I will buy a bomb and destroy Germany

romeobanglore: why???? Germany is a good country

romeobanglore: just because of some people we must not hate all the people

romeobanglore: it is just like the thief in S city

julietscity: ok, I will try to send someone to kill those people in secret

romeobanglore: hahaha....killing won't do any good...the feeling has to come to their heart

romeobanglore: we can only have contempt on them

julietscity: how?

romeobanglore: arguing with them is like arguing with a bull...no use

romeobanglore: ignore them

romeobanglore: keep your good manners...they will be ashamed to talk to you

julietscity: Acquire all banks and control their economy?

romeobanglore: that bus driver itself didn't say anything after that

julietscity: you didn't keep your manner at the moment

romeobanglore: no...Germans have a lot of good people...like our boss

romeobanglore: then there is no difference between us and them

romeobanglore: Otherwise, it has to be my country... NO ONE will raise voice against us and get away with that

romeobanglore: I am too short-tempered actually in such cases

romeobanglore: I have fought with many of the bus people in my state

romeobanglore: there I feel I am home

julietscity: I just told you we should be angry, but ... for other reasons we didn't

romeobanglore: helloooo

romeobanglore: I asked u why...

romeobanglore: I was very much frustrated when you didn't allow me to kiss in Heidelberg. I lost enthusiasm

julietscity: you didn't insist

romeobanglore: because I thought you had some reasons....I can't forcibly kiss you!

julietscity: you didn't tell me what you think

romeobanglore: I asked 2 or 3 times

romeobanglore: you were strong

julietscity: I talked about this when I got back here, I think you were unhappy that day

romeobanglore: I did. I asked you the reasons...you just laughed and said "no"

julietscity: shame?

romeobanglore: I wasn't happy, because I didn't understand you

julietscity: I have no reason

romeobanglore: why shame? so many people were kissing there

romeobanglore: soooooo many people

julietscity: where

romeobanglore: in Heidelberg

julietscity: I didn't see anyone kiss there...

julietscity: We didn't go where you mentioned

romeobanglore: when I went to Heidelberg for the first time, without you, I had imagined of coming there with you, walking through the pedestrian zone and kissing you there

romeobanglore: no...I showed you two people kissing

julietscity: ahh...yes...

romeobanglore: we walked there...we went through Heidelberg pedestrian zone

julietscity: Ok ... I owe you one, no... I owe you a lot of kisses. We will be there again, next time I treat

romeobanglore: hmmm...

julietscity: I'll dance there, naked, and kiss your body every inch

romeobanglore: I don't want to go there again

julietscity: why?

romeobanglore: ooooops!!!! don't dance naked there... so many people will see you naked

julietscity: next time I will wear sneakers

romeobanglore: you can kiss me naked at our bed

romeobanglore: boo boo

julietscity: We can take a sandwich there for a picnic

julietscity: boo...boooooooo~~

romeobanglore: hmmmm.....we will go to Titisee for boating

romeobanglore: that is a nice place

julietscity: I invite you to be there

julietscity: No ... I can't swim, can't you?

romeobanglore: there is a lake for boating...very big...we can go into the middle

romeobanglore: it is a paddle boat

julietscity: no....

romeobanglore: we can use our feet

julietscity: it's not safe

romeobanglore: no....no one has ever had an accident there

julietscity: go....

romeobanglore: I went there for boating

romeobanglore: it is very romantic

julietscity: ok...I owe you a romantic

julietscity: are you sure the river is shallow?

romeobanglore: I don't know if the river is deep or not in the middle...but it is safe

romeobanglore: small kids also go with their parents

julietscity: you have to learn how to swim before we go there

romeobanglore: hahaha...ok

julietscity: their parents know how to swim

romeobanglore: we can go to alps for skiing

romeobanglore: there are so many things to do in Germany

julietscity: skiing?

julietscity: Don't become German

romeobanglore: the people will rescue us also

romeobanglore: yes...skiing in the ice

julietscity: I don't like someone kissing me for saving me

romeobanglore: hahaha...no one will kiss you while rescuing

romeobanglore: only I will kiss....oooohhh... I want to kiss you now

romeobanglore: your family has gone to sleep?

julietscity: not yet

romeobanglore: chey!

romeobanglore: I need to kiss you!

julietscity: I need to have sex with you now

romeobanglore: yes...me too...tell them to go and sleep

julietscity: how?

julietscity: They live here, I just went home for a month

romeobanglore: go and tell " it is too late...everyone go and sleep

julietscity: hey...if you need me to call you up... I have to shut down the computer now and go out and call you

romeobanglore: ok...I understand...it was just a wish

julietscity: Do you wish me to do this? I am going to call you downstairs

romeobanglore: I wish

julietscity: ok...wait for me

romeobanglore: okkkkk

julietscity: Save this conversation?

julietscity: now?

romeobanglore: okkkkk

romeobanglore: I will save

julietscity: bye...for now///

romeobanglore: okkkkk....bye