From: Kamal E Y [email protected] >

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 5 June, 2000 11:31 AM

Subject: it is difficult...

Honey,

You very well know that I want to live with you for the rest of my life. You told me that you will live with me wherever I go next year. But now you have put a condition on that. If we don't have any kids, then you won't live with me next year? If I have don't agree to have any kid, you won't live with me? Honey, it is very complex. You know why I say this. I care about you too much. I can't let you live alone with a kid. Not only my kid, any kid. If you get a baby in some other way also, I will oppose it. I have seen the difficulty of bringing up a child when the father is not near. It will be more difficult to bring up a child whose father is not at all there.

When people start asking you when you are pregnant "where is the father"? What can you say? You are my tough girl, I don't like to see you struggling in front of anyone. Your mother and family will have to take care of you when you are pregnant if I am not with you. What will you say to them? The colleagues in your office will ask, everyone will ask.

I don't have to prepare against society. I don't care for them. If my parents agree for our marriage, there is nothing between us. But the question of society comes to my parents. They will be bothered by relatives and society. Do you understand me?

I will be hurt, whatever decision I make. So you don't have to try to prevent any hurt on me. I am prepared to take that with all my heart. When we started our relationship, I had anticipated this and prepared myself to face this.

Even the thought of losing you make me down. How can I bear if I can't have you? I don't know. I will lose myself. I will be a machine.

Love

Kamal