From: Kamal E Y [email protected] >

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 26 April, 2000 07:53 PM

Subject: expectations

Honey,

It is not that only you expect too much from our relationship. I also expect too much. Both of us are the same as the feeling of our relationship. To plan life after the answer from our parents... there is no planning for me if they don't agree. If because of some reason, I couldn't be with you, there is nothing from the life I expect. There is no planning.

To ask them and get their answer now is useless. Because I am sure that they won't agree now. That is why I always postpone it. Maybe something will happen someday and by that, I may be able to convince them. But anyway, I plan to tell them that I want to marry a foreigner. They won't take it too seriously, but they will always remember the hint. If I get a chance to tell them when I go back, I will tell them about this. But I can't be sure that I will get a chance. I will try my best. But to make them prepared for this, I have to tell them about moving out of my state. If they agree with that, we have more chances.

You told me you want to plan your life. What will be your plans?

And about our meeting, I didn't fix the time as of August. I was just telling an approximate time. Why did you choose July to quit your job? Is there any special reason? I think you told me that after that you will get the work of the next ceremony if you stay there. You want to leave before that, right?

I got the picture of you and Peggy. You look superb in the second photo. It looks like a beautiful Indian girl. Why I could not take your photo like that? I wish this photo was bigger. You look wonderful.

I never told to think of everything as a dream. I know it is not. It should not be. I don't like losing you. Really, you are the best girl I have ever met in my life. You have become a part of me. A life without you will be blank. I will never be the same without you.

Germany is giving a green card for software professionals to come and stay here. It would have been a nice chance to settle here. But my brother needs a job. See, our life has been bounded by many shackles. I keep trying to change.

Don't ask me to hate you. I never can.

Kamal