From: Kamal E Y [email protected]>

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 12 April, 2000 06:58 PM

Subject: foreigners

Honey,

You asked me how the reputation of our family will be affected if I marry a foreigner. My state is an educated state, and many foreigners visit there. In our village also many foreigners come. But the thing is all these foreigners come there as tourists, they don't stay there for long, because there are no big companies there to find any job. So all the people in my state treat foreigners as only visitors. They have not seen any foreigner marrying and settling there. So it will be a different situation when the question of marriage comes. And the families also care a lot about the marriages of the members in the family. In my knowledge also there are no foreigners who have come and settled there. There may be rare cases, but those always create a lot of news. Do you get a picture of what I am saying?

Have you thought of staying with my parents all the time? You may or may not like their customs and mindset. And in my state, I am not sure you can find a job which satisfies you. That is why whenever I think of living together I always think of some other country.

And the other thing is the language. You may not get any chance to speak your language. For some time it may be ok, but after that, you will feel frustrated. Everyone wants to speak the language of their mind. You haven't lived in a foreign country for so long to understand this problem. I have always thought about this.

And again comes the question of religion. As I am a Hindu, I am supposed to marry a Hindu, according to tradition and following Hindi rituals. Even an inter-religious marriage brings a lot of fuss in the society there. You may even require to change your religion. Shame, isn't it? I know, but there are the rules set by society. Nobody likes them, but everyone is forced to obey them for some reason or another. You know, to live in a society without their cooperation is very very difficult.

See, this is the first time I am talking to you about the real problems we face. I have always tried to protect you from all the worries. But now, I think we have reached a point to discuss everything.

There are some more problems which I will write soon. There are problems if we marry ignoring everything.

Whatever happens, I am going to lose something. That is why I once told you that I would like to die now because right now I have everything. You don't know exactly how much I love you and how much I need you. I have risked everything for you. I love you so much that I don't regret anything. I know that you love me also. That makes me strong and week. I can never let you be alone. Because you are a part of mine. You are my family too. You are the one whom I shared my mind and body. You mean too much to me.

My love life has been a turbulent one. But in you, I have found a steady partner. You know me much more than anyone else. I can never love anyone this much.

Who in this world can help us? Honey, I need you.

Love always

Kamal