From: Kamal E Y [email protected] >

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 19 January, 2000 07:50 PM

Subject: I am all the same

Dear,

I am the same Kamal before and after our meeting. Nothing has been changed. My love for you also, it might have changed, but only going up, not down. I know I don't write many sweet words in the letters after our meeting. But that is because I had a feeling that you don't care so much about it. When I was there also you didn't pay much attention to it.

Yes, our relationship has changed. We have reached the land of reality after traveling a lot through fantasy. I will write about some things which I told I will write about. About my stay there in S city.

During my stay there I always had a slight feeling that I did not belong there. That is because in the first night itself you made it clear that you are not sure whether you love me. Sometimes I felt like a guest in your house, who is treated nicely by you, the house owner, just because you didn't want to make the guest feel uncomfortable. That was the reason I was silent during the first few days. Even while making love, my mind kept telling this. And then while I was thinking of this, you asked me "did you come here for sex?" And that justified my doubts. I felt suddenly like coming back here. I told you this, right? I don't know exactly how I became normal after some days. Maybe I got the feeling that you like me.

Once I asked you why you allowed me to touch your body on the first night even though you didn't like me. You answered, that it might be because of physical attraction or in other words body need. To come there to S city to satisfy my body need or your body need is a stupid thing. I am not sure what I am writing here now, it is just my thoughts about what I felt during my stay there.

But after some days I began to feel comfortable, I don't know the reason. Maybe because you didn't go to the office that day, something or other. Anyway, I felt that there is still love between us.

You always say your opinion openly. But I am not that type. I always try to hide any bad feelings. That is why I didn't tell you about all these when I was there. I don't know what you feel now after reading all this.

But I have to say that when I felt there, I really loved you and now also there are not bad feelings left. During the last few days of my stay there, everything changed and I enjoyed every moment with you. I never got tired of hugging and kissing you. The only regret I have is I was not able to comb your hair properly!

I enjoyed walking with you, dining with you, sleeping with you, watching a movie with you, playing with you...In fact, I liked watching a movie with you more than having sex. (Yesterday you wrote that after gained what I "want", I forgot to maintain my love and relationship. I don't know how to answer it and I don't want to answer it.)

I want to say again that I love you very much now also. Yes, I want to marry you. But as you said since, I am a slowcoach I need time to plan things. You have 8 years to decide the course of our life. But for me, everything is still new. I moved out of the shades of my family hardly 2 years back. Sorry for being so slow, but I can't help it.

I wrote all these things not to hurt our relationship. You were so restless to know about these, that is why I wrote everything openly. I want you to be mine. As always...

Yours

Kamal