From: Kamal E Y [email protected]>

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 1st October, 1999 04:50 PM

Subject: Hate me...but I love you...

My all,

I have never been scolded like this in my life after I finished school. And I never felt so guilty in my life. I accept all the blame. I am literally begging, forgive me. I want you to listen to me. Pleeeease, pleeease.

I told you the truth. Yesterday we had a party. That was because Ojas was leaving for Germany. He gave us the party. Only five close friends in a bar. I am ashamed and afraid to tell you, I got drunk too much. All of us were very sad because one of our best friends was leaving us. We even cried a little. The party started at 5 o'clock because I told them I want to be free at 7 o'clock. But as the party went on, we call lost our senses. And when I was able to stand up I came out and called you. And you were angry and furious at me. I couldn't bear it. One sorrow on top of others. I was deeply frustrated. I gave my bike to Ojas and went home by Taxi. I didn't stay until the end of the party. There I tried to ring you two times. But as soon as I dial the last number, I got sacred of your fury and hung it up.

This is no explanation or excuse, I know. I am guilty and I deserve the punishment. But you gave me the capital punishment. Without any appeal. NO, this is my review application. You have to cut it down. Pleeease don't stick with punishment. I am asking your heart. I am not getting enough words. You can come and kill me. I will be only glad to accept it. But this torture is too much. Please forgive me.

You worried for 4 hours. Think about me. Since last night I have been in a fire. Why don't you think of that? And now you are telling me for the next 9 days! No, if I am not going to get your mail or call, I will cut short my leave and come back. You cannot torture me like this. No, you can't.

This is going to be the first and last time I fail to keep my time with you. Will you now tell me you are not angry?

How can you tell me that there was something more important than you for me?? How can you tell that?? How can you tell ME that? I could have just canceled the call. No, because you are so important to me. I won't believe you wrote this line. Never. You can never do that. You know me and ...I don't know what. Ask your heart, my heart is there. Ask it and you'll know.

You know how to pain someone. Don't you? You have done it very well this time. Very well. Congrats!

Begging without any pride...

Kamal