From: Kamal E Y [email protected]>

To: Sabrina [email protected] >

Sent: 3rd September, 1999 05:12 PM

Subject: You'll get a fever from me!

My mom,

I haven't gone to the doctor. Today I will take some pills because you asked me to do so. I too wish you were here with me. Then I will cuddle in your lap like a child. And I will sleep smelling our sweet body. My body getting cold from your body. Your arms embracing me. I will sleep and sleep. But then you too will get a fever. Then you will be in my lap and I will not sleep all night. And wish that the night never ends...

I always know you can help me in every way. Yesterday we had another party and I was forced to attend. I went to bed at 1:00 at midnight with my head aching like hell. Up to 2 o'clock, I was in some fantasy world, feverish. I saw you there, covered in mist. Far away, I don't know it may be a dream. I saw my friends, my mind was out of order. At 2 o'clock I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning I was embracing my pillow thinking of you. And I felt a lot better.

I can ask for leave, but I don't want to miss your letter. I came here early in the morning and go early afternoon. Yes, I am tired. I want you. My mother phoned me and asked me to go to the doctor and take medicine. Then I thought of you. To lie in your lap. To suck your nipples for milk...To feel your breath over me.

I will send you a smiling picture soon. I had got one after Valentines's day. But then when I read your letter, I tore it off. You know that was a terrible time for us. I will get one more and send to you. Your photos are not my background, I don't want to share you. I have taken the printouts and it is in my room. When I go home next month I will take them along to show to Sumit.

What will Allison say if she finds my picture on your computer? She always uses your computer, right? Have you told her about me?

Why did your Buddha make us be so far and gave us many problems? He doesn't have any heart.

Thinking of you always

Kamal