《(Anti)Hero Chronicles》Ep. 14 | GO LOUD
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"You're a sad excuse for a warrior," one of Atreyu's large Vikings spat at another.
"Says you, that little worm ran straight past you and you didn't hit him once!"
"He is very, very fast -" the first tried to explain.
"My cousin is faster, you know. Out of all of the speedsters, she makes them look like snails in the winter, yes?" Go Loud chimed in.
"Yeah, see! This one knows," the second Viking agreed, "his cousin is faster than that bird boy -"
"Yes, you see in my family we all Go, just like I am Go Loud she is Go Fast," the giant of a man explained.
"Right, but I mean, I saw you swing your axe at him no less than five times, and not a single strike landed."
"Well, you got caught in your own damn net!"
"Ey ey ey!" Go Loud hollered, true to his name, "That's enough, eh? We're all on the same side here, no? Why all of this arguing..."
The two Vikings turned to look at Go Loud, eyebrows raised.
"Who are you?" the first asked.
"I already told you, cabron, were you not listening? I am Go Loud," he explained.
"You do not look like one of Lord Atreyu's warriors..."
"That is right, I am not, I was wondering if you were ehm... recruiting? You see, my boss, she is a real -"
Before Go Loud could finish, the first Viking gripped his axe and swing it, hard, straight into Go Loud's gut, doubling him over around the weapon.
"Damned outsider, you should know your place -"
"Like my address?" Go Loud interrupted, mumbling from where he was, "Because, I do know it, I know my place, but mi amigo, we are in a maze..." he righted himself, rearing to his full height with the axe-head firmly in his palms, not a spot of blood to be seen.
"And I am not very good at puzzles."
The two Vikings roared in unison, their call answered by numerous others throughout the maze. Warhorns, shouts, and the clattering of weapons filled the air.
A hail of javelins and arrows rained down on Go Loud as the two Vikings dashed away, shields overhead. He huddled over, exposing his back to the storm of projectiles. His oversized blazer and dress shirt were torn to ribbons as every missile that hit broke against his hardened frame.
"You know, that wasn't bad, but do you have anything bigger? I have this spot right next to my shoulder blade..."
The Vikings charged; so did Go Loud.
The massive man took three long strides and leaped, driving both of his feet into the chest of the frontmost Viking, and sending him hurtling into a cluster of his companions, scattering them like bowling pins. Go Loud rolled right as soon as he hit the floor, avoiding three axes aimed at his face, and was back on his feet in a flash.
"Who, by Odin, is this man?" one of the Vikings cried.
"I already told you, I am GO LOUD, I am good at clapping, breaking things, not getting hurt, and healing fast. I am no so good at puzzles or... ehm... well there is no much I am not good at that I can think of -"
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"Are you good at fighting more than sixty of the finest warriors that Valhalla has to offer?" one of the Vikings challenged.
"Why don't we find out, eh?" Go Loud answered as he tore away the remnants of his shirt and blazer, revealing a bulky, muscled physique.
Six Vikings rushed him, javelins out and seeking purchase in his flesh. Go Loud backpedaled toward one of the maze's corridors, forcing the charging Vikings to cluster. The luchador stepped forward, past the points of the weapons, and wrapped his large arms around the shafts, stopping the charge cold.
"My turn," he announced.
Go Loud flexed his core and arched his back, lifting all six of the Vikings into the air before twisting side to side, slamming them against each other and the walls of the maze before he lurched forward, bringing them all to the ground with a sickening crunch.
More Vikings charged, screaming battle cries and curses.
Go Loud surged forward and drove his foot through the pile of bodies, making them into equal parts obstruction and attack.
In the instant that the wave of advancing Vikings faltered, Go Loud went on the offensive, splitting their helmets with headbutts, dragging the crawling survivors back to be made into improvised bludgeons, helpless to defend themselves as they slammed against their comrades.
Go Loud, bloodied and bruised stood atop the pile of unconscious Vikings, heaving, and sweating.
"I. AM. THE CHAMPION!"
The cement wall behind Arclight and RAY sizzled and popped as Panzer's blast carved through it, leaving molten slag behind. The two heroes tucked and rolled springing to their feet.
"Note, don't get hit by that," RAY observed.
"Da," Arclight answered.
Without a beat, Arclight unleashed a barrage of neon from his hands. In the seconds it took Panzer to determine exactly where to harden her skin against the fusillade, RAY had dashed around to her side and slammed a glowing fist into her exposed skin.
"Fuck!" she growled.
The hard light projectiles ricocheted off of Panzer and the walls. She lashed out with a snapping kick, aimed at RAY's gut, he sidestepped and lined up another haymaker.
"Hey you should -" Arclight mumbled as Panzer dropped her foot back to the ground and drove her knee up, catching RAY in the ribs, "watch out for the knees man."
RAY soared away from Panzer, flipping over in the air to catch himself and Arclight hovered in front of him, peppering Panzer with projectiles and buying RAY time.
"Hey so... this is only gonna hold her off for so long, you know... you got some sorta big thing you're gonna use?"
RAY grinned, menace and malice showing in his eyes.
"Oh, I've got something special alright, keep her busy, Sergei, and I'll end this bitch."
"Whatever you say," Arclight answered.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Panzer growled, her left arm curled at the side of her face, the skin a solid sheen of marble.
Goddamn grudges, supposed to do shit smart, this is a bad matchup... I can't hold back.
Her right arm slipped behind her back, Angry Daddy's grip slipping naturally into her hand, she tossed the firearm up, pumped the forend, and flipped the grip back before lurching to the side, aiming at the floor, and pulling the trigger.
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"Shit!" Arclight shouted, narrowly avoiding the ricochet and shrapnel.
"Handle it!" Panzer shouted as she surged forward, sending another shell into Angry Daddy's chamber.
RAY was unguarded.
"You think that little pop gun is anything next to this?" RAY taunted as he unleashed a tremendous blast of starlight.
"Rrrrragh!" Panzer roared. Blockbuster's invulnerability was pinpoint, forcing it to cover a wide area required a monumental effort and drastically slowed her ability to reposition it.
She slammed her forehead into the bridge of RAY's nose, breaking it.
"Ah! Fuck!" he shouted as he brought his hands, still streaming energy, up to his face.
"Instinct's a bitch, innit?" Panzer chirped before her back lit up in a thousand points of pain.
She whipped around, being sure to clock RAY across the jaw with her elbow, and fired off a shell in Arclight's direction.
The projectiles stopped and she dove, rolling behind a piece of the fallen building. Com-com's enhanced senses allowed her to eavesdrop on RAY and Arclight's scheming, even above the noise.
"Look, Sergei -"
"Hey I don't mean to be a stickler, but we are on a mission, shouldn't you be using my hero name?"
"Okay fine, Arc -"
"I mean, not all of us are so lucky to have our hero name, and short version of real name be the same, da?"
"Arclight, listen," RAY rasped.
"Okay, I am listening, go ahead."
"You can make light, right?"
"Da"
"And I can absorb light, and weaponize it, right?"
"That is what the papers say."
"So, if we really want to do the super team-up thing, you should supercharge me, so I can bring this whole place down."
"But we work here, RAY. We would get in trouble if we broke the whole building." Arclight protested.
RAY sighed.
"It's a figure of speech, you use one of your arm cannon things to keep shooting at her, keep her pinned down, you hit me with everything you've got out of the other one when I say switch you get behind me and I'll fry her."
"You have done this before?"
"No."
"Is fine with me," Arclight responded as he peppered the debris shielding Panzer with a barrage of neon light.
The former hero nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Shadow.
"Look, I know you told me to prep for exit, but we're all going to die down here if I don't do something about Raymond. I've seen the little trick he's trying to pull off, he lied. He always lied, that scheming son of a -"
Panzer pressed a finger on Shadow's lips.
"Less ranting, more planning, quick," she instructed.
"Can you do that cannon thing again?" Shadow asked.
"I've got two more of those in me."
"Raymond is a bit overconfident, thinks his special beam thing is unstoppable, when he goes to shoot it, shoot your cannon back at him, I will make sure that the lazy one is out of commission and distract Raymond."
"So your plan is to let him charge his doom laser and to shoot my own at it?" Panzer asked, incredulous.
"Just like the cartoons, isn't it?" Shadow asked with a grin.
Panzer hesitated for a fraction of a second. Every person she'd come here with was a wanted criminal. Go Loud had been the frontman of a dozen robberies in the past year, Shadow his accomplice, Leap was one of the most notorious thieves in the UK, and both Techno and Radio had hacked into the infrastructure of King's Gough and who knows how many other cities.
Highly punishable offenses.
They were criminals.
They were villains.
"You can trust me, Mami," Shadow said, resting her hand on Panzer's shoulder, "prometo."
Panzer nodded, "Don't go getting yourself killed."
"And deny you the pleasure of cuffing me in your valiant return? Never."
Shadow vanished. Panzer's enhanced senses could hear the woman's shadow sliding across the floor toward Arclight.
"Switch!" RAY shouted.
"Augh!" Arclight responded.
Panzer shot up from her mostly deteriorated cover and held both her arms out, screaming with effort. Arclight was writhing on the ground, hamstrung with knives sticking out of his thigh and shoulder.
"You think you can take this?" RAY shouted.
"Make it a double you twat!" Panzer responded.
RAY's beam and Panzer's Nova erupted, colliding in a massive surge. Shadow popped up behind RAY and tapped the focused man on the shoulder.
"Shadow? I'm kinda busy right -"
"Who was she?" the petit, deadly woman demanded.
"Who was who?"
"The little bitch I saw you fly home the day before I left you. I know you stayed there the whole night, you're not that chivalrous."
What the actual shit? Panzer wondered.
"Look, Shadow, it's... it's uh... can we not right now?"
Panzer strained, forcing Blockbuster's invulnerability into her hands and forearms before putting them on the Nova and pushing against RAY's beam.
"What are you doing you crazy bitch? You'll kill us all!"
Panzer locked eyes with RAY, "Crazy? I'll show you crazy, Shadow, get clear!"
The Latina brought her right foot back and swept it forward in a vicious arc, slamming it directly between RAY's legs.
"Get down here!" Sorli bellowed, his leap carrying him past Atreyu again. He whipped around in the air, feather sword swirling in front of him to deflect the three arrows Atreyu had loosed at him.
He landed back on the ice, sending spiderweb cracks out for at least ten feet.
"Not until I'm done -"
A massive explosion rocked the building.
"My observatory!" Atreyu lamented.
In the instant he was distracted, right before Sorli leaped at him, Isto Raita, shrouded in viridian light appeared right next to Atreyu, grabbed him by his half-metal half-stone breastplate, and punched the hero sending him careening into the ice.
"Hey kid," Isto said, smiling at Sorli, "miss me?"
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