After classes me and Hedrick would talk, we’d have lengthy discussions on different topics. Some of political interest, some of random passing thoughts. It felt normal. It was the one aspect of my life that was comfortable. I love speaking to him. Status mattered not; to me he was more human than any noble. Something about our conversations felt so visceral, so meaningful. He loved life. He was blessed with a loving family, great intelligence, and luck. Never was I jealous, though. I understood that my position was much better. I had wealth, backing, and power. I could do what I want. He could not. While my path was paved, his was forged. In a school where he was looked down upon for his birth, he proudly erected his back, never wavering in his pride. It is said that those who believe themselves to be smart are the greatest fools. This is something I believe to be true. He was a rare breed of man: one who was confident in his intelligence, not out of idiocrasy but reason. He didn’t view himself superior but was glad to acknowledge his strengths. Even in school he had managed to befriend a group of nobles. His charisma was infectious to those around him. He was not humble nor arrogant. It was a charisma not of reach, but of substance. Many disliked his attitude, but a portion gravitated to it. He surrounded himself with other like-minded individuals. When I say the words ‘like-minded’ I mean not of similar thoughts, but of disposition. Those who question, who think for themselves and learn from each other. Many times, I interacted with this group. I considered them not my friends, but I knew them to be good. I was not fond of others. I didn’t enjoy the company of people as others did. It wasn’t that I hated being in another person’s presence. If asked whether I considered myself sociable or unsociable, I might just say neither. If forced to be clearer, one might say that I had a slight preference for being alone. Even with Hedrick, I wouldn’t always want to speak. Sometimes I would return home to read in isolation or pass time meaninglessly. Only he could be so accepting of my brash attitude when it came to how fickle I was. If he came up to me after class during one of these moments, our conversation would follow such a track,

“Hey, Emil! I just heard something interesting from Thomas. Come with me, its quite the story.” He would go on.

“No, sorry.” I would respond.

“Ah, do you have some engagement, my bad.” Hedrick might add out of concern, or not.

I felt no need to lie to him though, and would truthfully tell,

“There is no such engagement, I just feel like being alone today.”

He’d laugh my words off carelessly and leave to do some other activity. My heart felt warm at these actions. He understood me better than even my family. Others would ask if I was okay if I spoke in such a way, but I knew he understood. When I said I wanted to be alone, it wasn’t a statement of sadness. It was the truth and he had no issue with it.

My fortune in life was having such a friend. He put on no pretense. There was no need between us. Due to my formative years I realized that the idea of family was false. Blood mattered not in determining human relations. It was an irrelevant factor that chained together abuser and abused. I had no issue with loving families, I respected them deeply. But children from dysfunctional families are forced to live with those who hurt them. Family is the only thing you can trust. You must stick together. Never abandon family. Bullshit. Should I worship my father because he fucked my mother? No. To gain respect it must be earned, even from children. To me, family is not defined by heredity, but by merit. People must earn your love. That is why Hedrick is more of a brother than my elder ones. Hedrick is more of my family than anyone else. Heretical I may be in thought, but I am true. I am right. He’s my brother; no one else holds that title in my heart. At sixteen, I was still attending school as per usual. Nothing in my life had changed across a year. That is, until my father called for me. A butler told me to go, it was urgent. This alone left me deeply suspicious. I had a deep sense of foreboding; he never talked to me for any normal matter. I arrived at the throne room where he sat. I stood a small distance from him as he began his long-winded prologue.

“It has come to my attention, that a negative influence has been cast upon you for many years. It deeply tears my heart to see someone of my kin being corrupted by such vile things.”

“What may those things be, my dear father.” I asked with a slight tremble in my voice.

“That common boy. It is unbefitting a Royal to associate with such low-class peoples. If only that damn parliament hadn’t forced their foolish policies through.”

The anger in his voice was palpable when speaking. My gaze shifted down as I tried to understand the situation. What was he going to do with Hedrick?

“With that said, my dear son, I have failed as a King and a parent by letting such a thing happen. Fear not, for I will rectify it from now on. I have arranged that boy to be sent to the Farlands. His family exiled with him for lèse-majesté. He has tainted Royalty and shall not be forgiven.”

My mind was boiling at his words. He dared to call me his son when he did such things. He cared not for me but for the purity of his foolish Royal line.

“Father! I beg you to reconsider!” I blurted in a burst of madness.

At my minor act of rebellion, his eyes turned cold. He couldn’t comprehend how I would be questioning him. He was saving me from beasts. It enraged him that I dared to do such a thing.

“You dare to insult my decisions!? I am your father and your blood! You have become deluded. Question me more and I will have you sent to an institution.”

His words chilled my skin. I realized my mistake and my mind went empty as I fell to my knees and asked for forgiveness. There was no chance of reconsideration to begin with. It was already done. Kings were tyrants, he was just in every action and untouchable in status. My opinion mattered not.