July, mid-semester break

The week after Gab told Mr. C, he and Melinda invited her to come and stay at their place for a weekend during her mid-semester break. They had a self-contained area upstairs, they said, which she was welcome to use. Gab was keen to see Mr. C, even if she was tentative about being back in her hometown. She didn’t want any awkward conversations. She didn’t want anyone to ask how she was, or how uni was going, and she didn’t want to see her mother or even Tony. It was very unlikely she’d bump into Gina of course, but if she saw Tony, what would she say? He’d want to know why she had come back without telling anyone. She feared Tony’s judgement; besides, she hadn’t decided what to do yet.

On a Saturday morning in the last week of July, Gab packed her backpack and walked from the student apartment building, to the station where the regional bus would pick up its passengers. The three-hour trip reignited faint nausea and Gab closed her eyes and tried to doze.

And then, just like that, she was back in Wattle Gully Arriving in her hometown was like slipping back into an old version of herself, and Gab wasn’t sure that she liked it, even if there was a certain comfort in familiarity.

The bus stopped outside the local post-office and Gab stepped off. Ten minutes and she’d be at the Cheng’s. Three kilometres beyond that, her mother was probably sitting in her sunroom on her throne, watching reruns of old TV shows that she’d seen a thousand times already. But Gab wasn’t going home. At least, she didn’t plan on it.

Hand unconsciously resting on the small abdominal bump she was now sporting, Gab walked along the main street of town. She hoped to goodness she wouldn’t run into anyone from work. She didn’t, and she felt much safer once she was cutting through smaller streets towards Mr. and Mrs. C’s place. James and Melinda. And Libby and Tyler, their kids. It would be so weird, she thought, but she wanted badly to see Mr. C. At the same time, she was scared.

After Gab arrived and settled in, she and the Chengs sat at the table for dinner. Then, James tucked Libby and Tyler into bed while Gab helped Melinda tidy up. It was fascinating for Gab to watch Mr. C. interact with his kids again; foreign and intriguing. With the kids settled, James, Melinda and Gab sat down again, sipping on tea and eating chocolates. Gab also watched the two of them interact. It was like listening to a piece of music, now with notes more discordant, now resolved into harmony; greater and lesser degrees of tension and resolution, two melodies dancing around each other in dynamic interaction.

“What are your plans once baby comes?” asked Melinda with a jarring mix of abruptness and warmth. Gab shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m not sure yet.”

“When’s baby due?”

“I’m seventeen weeks tomorrow. So, early January. Near my birthday,” Gab said quietly.

“Gabrielle, babies are hard work,” said Melinda knowingly. “I mean, it can be really tough. I can’t imagine trying to do it all on my own.” Gab nodded. She wasn’t sure what else to say. “James and I have talked about this,” Melinda continued, “and we want you to know that you and baby are welcome to live here, if that’s something you’d like.”

This came entirely out of left field. Gab’s thoughts stumbled over themselves. How did she feel about this? Too early to tell. Did they want an answer? Melinda sat looking at her, almost eagerly. Mr. C. just fiddled with the tag on his teabag.

“Oh wow, um okay, thanks,” she said obligingly.

“What do you think?” Melinda pressed. “This weekend can be a test-run. We’ve had the upstairs sitting there empty since February, when Mum moved to the nursing home, so you’d have your own space. But we’d be here anytime you needed us.” That seemed simultaneously nice and scary to Gab. It wasn’t bad being there. It was just that Gab already felt like an intruder, imposing herself in a space where she really didn’t belong.

Mr. C. changed the subject. “Tell me about more about uni, Gab. What was first semester like?”

“Oh yeah, it was really interesting,” said Gab. “But hard to manage with … you know … feeling sick and stuff.” Her words were cautious, but she gradually became animated as she told him more. “The subjects are great. There’s so much I want to try out on my own land some day. I just wish I’d had more energy for study in the first semester, you know? I didn’t really do very well in my exams.” She faltered, because this was something of a sticking point for her.

Mr. C. nodded and smiled. “Sounds like you’ve been quite unwell the last few months. But I knew you’d enjoy uni, and you’ll consolidate,” he said. “One thing I noticed throughout school was that you quite enjoyed a challenge.” Gab liked to think that he perceived her that way. So she looked down, embarrassed.

“Which brings us back to the baby,” said Melinda. “Have you had much experience with babies, Gab?”

Gab felt a little interrogated, but she assumed the question was well meant; she didn’t know how to avoid answering though, even if she wanted to.

“I looked after Jack,” she said, and suddenly a streak of defensiveness arose. “He was born when I was eleven. And I’ve raised lots of baby animals.” She felt like she needed to vouch for herself, defend her capacity. Mr. C. was staring off into the distance, as though trying to distance himself from his wife’s question, but when he heard Gab’s response, he was present again.

“You’re an amazing big sister, Gab. You’ve done so much for Jack, and you’ll well and truly manage this next season of life. Well,” he slapped his knees, “It’s time for some dessert, I reckon!” And with that, he was off to the freezer to get ice-creams for them all.