80. The Seventh Stage of Grief

Chris

Hearing that I would never go back was not an option. I had thought that I wouldn’t see Juliet for a month at most. I would have convinced my father… Or, even the people that she could either come here or I go there for a time. If it took me less than ten minutes to get to another system. To another freaking planet, there had to be a way.

“Why?” I asked my father. “Why can I never go back?”

“Do you see any cars, Chris? Do you see any satellites on the houses? Cell phones or communication devices? There is no way. It’s vampire tech. We had to do a lot of trading for you the last hundred and fifty years of my life. It wasn’t easy. They don’t really play nice.”

He stopped talking and greeted someone that came walking past.

“The vampires only allow you to travel if you trade something. Marcus wouldn’t even have that kind of pull for years.”

What did my dad have to give up? What was trade-worthy on this freaking desert?

It felt like I wanted to be sick. When Juliet said I would never see her again. I thought she was being dramatic. I scoffed at myself. She always said I was naïve… My head was buried in the sand, just like all these people.

For the first time I felt the loss. I felt my family slipping through my fingers… Louis and Marcus. Juliet mourning… crying. The blood drained from my face. The world spun around me. I fell but was caught. My father ran his thumb over my forehead. Inwardly I groaned. I knew why Juliet hated being treated like a child. Everyone making decisions for you without giving you all the facts. The understanding or the time to make a proper decision.

***

The next time I woke up. The goddess was with me on the wooden block. Holding Caleb and playing with him. Singing while we swayed. She had a beautiful voice. It echoed out over the rest of the convoy. They joined her.

“How long?”

“We have been walking for three days.”

I didn’t even bother getting up. I wasn’t going to jump out from too much excitement. For the first time in a year I cried. Tears ran down my temples. Shoulders shaking. The goddess didn’t know what to do. She touched me. I shrugged her off. “Don’t.”

She sat back. “Comfort is natural for us. Why would you not let me?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That is not the way of life here, Chris. We take pleasure in each other.”

“Well, I didn’t grow up here. Give me my child.” She handed Caleb over.

“Get out.” She was a little too slow. Wanting to talk. Everyone wants to talk and talk.

“Get out!” I yelled loudly.

Whatever her name was moved slower than a freaking turtle. The four men stopped and she jumped down. “Get me another girl. A stupid and quirky one… One that looks like a boy.”

***

Louis

I wasn’t coping as well as I thought I would. Juliet didn’t come again the following morning. I was nervously pacing the hall waiting for Liam and Cindy.

Seeing Marcus on the TV just reminded me that she was all alone.

I sat down at the table, waiting. It was going to be a very long and tiring time for us. It became worse when Liam and Cindy came into the house fighting. He sat down immediately at the dining room table calling Marcus.

“Yes,” Marcus answered. He sounded irritated and busy. There was such a commotion behind him. People talking and wanting his attention.

“Marcus, the guard watching Juliet hit her last night.” There was silence on the other end.

“She has to learn to keep her mouth shut Liam. Juliet is the one that wanted to come for her treatment… I can’t talk now.” He hung up.

Liam drew in a breath covering his mouth with his hand. His gaze fell across the room. Peering sightlessly out in front of him. My hand reached for my forehead, grabbing my head as it slumped down.

Indignation filled all of us. “Did that just happen?” Liam asked.

Cindy slowly got up and went to their bedroom, closing the door softly. Liam stood grabbing a drink out of the fridge. He opened the patio door to go sit outside.

Left with my thoughts. I was reminded of my conversation with Juliet the day Qadir came. About Marcus not choosing her. It was already coming true. She would be heartbroken. She would have to suffer for a bit. How will we get out of this mess? Charlene was the dominating factor… I didn’t know what to do.

Marcus always wanted her back there. She was. I followed Liam outside. “We need to talk about the brandings.”

“Yeah. We need to get out of here. Qadir got what he wanted. Marcus is back. It doesn’t seem like he will step up after all… The thing is I can’t get a hold of Samuel. Now that Chris is gone… It’s like all the rules are out the window.”

“I’m scared for her Liam. She didn’t say but she thinks the guard is ogling her.” Liam’s foot started jumping nervously. The drink went flying, crashing into the mountain's rocks that surrounded and caged us in.

“Why the hell did we do this?! We can’t even begin with the treatment because Marcus is not here. It’s not like she can walk to Rodrigo’s office.” Liam sat forward his head in his hands. “And if we leave now. She’ll die.”

I was quiet. Wondering if now would be a good time to tell them everything.

Juliet and I could just walk out. Hand in hand.

“What is it Louis. Spit it out.” That guy… Juliet’s father knew me. He had been alive longer than me.

“I… I did something Liam.” His eyes met mine.

***

Juliet

Last night, I must have fallen asleep deciding against taking a bath with a perv in the vicinity. My eyes darted towards Marcus’s room. The door stood open. I jumped up and hurried over the little bridge, hoping Marcus would be there. Stopping. Suddenly nervous. What if he was home? After last night? I didn’t even want to talk to him.

Slowly I walked on mustering up some courage. I was in such a tiff before he left. Why would he want to come home? He was probably mad at me.

But the room was empty. Frustrated with myself I went over to the bed to sit down. I regretted not talking to him. There were creases in the linen. It was as if someone was sitting on Marcus’s bed. No… lying down on it. My head snapped to the door. It was closed.

Damian’s face staring at me the whole night grossed me out. Does he even know what Marcus would do to him…? Would Marcus do anything?

I got dressed. Put on my veil and opened the door. Damian was right outside waiting… It was going to be a great day.

Damian followed me everywhere. “We want breakfast.” I thought off about twelve sarcastic things I could have said. Reminded of the knock I got. So, kept my mouth shut. Went to the kitchen and made them some food.

I haven’t had human blood for a while. I didn’t know when that would happen here at the compound or how. After Marcus’s interview, I didn’t think it was an option. I couldn’t ask unless I bent down… Put my head on the floor. Waited for Damian to give me permission to speak. That wasn’t happening.

I was also getting desperate for a beer and a cigarette to take the edge off. Not knowing what time of day it was didn’t help my equilibrium.

Standing outside the kitchen. I stared out over the yard, wondering how I would shake the guy that day. Didn’t they ever change shifts? Would Damian never get tired?

Oh man, I was so bored. No TV. No phone. No books. Argh, I was going to go insane. What was I supposed to do?

I heard a car. The gate opened. My dad and mom walked through. The sun was high in the sky. It seemed like lunchtime because I was in the kitchen again. The last place I wanted to be in.

They walked up the corridor, eyeing Damian watching me. When they came into the kitchen they put some stuff down on the counter.

“I need to eat soon. I’m getting edgy.” I say as I hug both of them. Wincing when my mom presses her cheek on mine a little too hard.

My dad closed the kitchen door on Damian. Irritated and angry.

“What was that?” My mom gestured to my cheek.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. Both of them knowingly stared at me.

“Louis is beside himself because you didn’t come.”

“You will have to tell him that my guards are more vigilant today. I don’t know when I’ll see him again. ” I sighed. “When is Marcus coming back?”

“He is so busy, Julie… There were more TV broadcasts today. He is on every channel the whole day… I don’t think it will be this week. They had a whole schedule mapped out for him. He is to visit every continent.”

“What happened?”

“They released Qadir. There was nothing else anyone could do. The negotiations have begun. So no more eating humans. Marcus said they were waiting on supplies from En-gannim to support Qadir’s efforts.”

“They needed the attack to stop. The body count was getting too much.” My mom added. “Qadir has them right where he wants them. He is indulging them at this stage. Waiting to see what his father will allow.”

“Julie… Louis told us everything.” I was stunned. Was he that worried?

“We want the two of you to just go.” I didn’t know what to say. My eyes darted to the door. Would Damian hear us? My dad took me by the arm and walked to the back door. “I can open for you… You take his hand and never look back.” His voice was low. My mind was racing. Selfishness trying to push me to take the gap. Grab the door handle and leave.

“What about Charlene and Miné.”

“Marcus is back Juliet. That is all he wanted. If you’re in the wind. What can Marcus do but stay? If he stayed, which he would if we told him about Miné. They got the last cub. He won’t bother. Sita is gone.”

“Michael?”

“Julie… you have to think about the possibility that….”

“No! Not until I see a freaking body. Or hear someone confess that they did it.” I didn’t even want to think about Michael with a bullet through his head. “I… can’t,” I said finally. “I would be leaving everything and everyone.” I had to think about Chris and Caleb. If I were to ever see them again. The compound was the only place to be.

***

There was nothing else to do but be patient. It was one of my weaknesses. So I practiced. For the next few days, I just sat on my bed checking Damian so that he couldn’t watch me. His every move and what the two guards talked about. It was weird. They never changed shifts. Even their breaks were taken there. I would have to be clever about it. If I wanted to sneak out again.

Of course, I also tested the boundaries a bit. First, I tried reading. If I could only read, I could actually do it… Damian opened the door and hit me. Twice that time. Harder every time.

“Woman don’t read. Juliet. The library is on his side for a reason.”

They didn’t mind me in the kitchen. Obviously… so I was spending most days there. I tried asking in a usual way, when I would be fed. That got me a hard knock. Not supposed to ask like that. I have to say that it was terrible. Only Louis could hit me, and it was fine. I was thankful too. He taught me how to be knocked around a bit and keep sane. It was just like practice in the ring. And it kept me from thinking about Caleb.

I should have taken Miné, Charlene and Louis… made us all disappear and walk to the end of Canada. The four of us could have been happy. My parents didn’t come again. I didn’t think it was a coincidence. Either Damian heard us talking or didn’t like us talking at all.

One thing I could do was exercise. Pushups. Planks. Stomach. Arms. Legs. Staying fit was important. Active. But coupled with that and not having showered in a few days. I started to smell. It wasn’t very hygienic either… but I didn’t care. I was scared.

That night I couldn’t anymore and double-checked that both doors were closed. Put on both the room lights and the one in the bathroom so I could see everything. I took a long bath. My eyes darted to the two rooms a few times. Lying in the tub was almost the only relaxing thing there was to do.

I submerged myself in the water for a few minutes. Just to try and quiet my mind from the constant noise of Damian’s voice. Or the chirping of the irritating grasshopper that I would eat as soon as I found it.

I sat up after I felt more like myself. I wiped my hair back. Draining the water with both hands. Marcus’s room light had gone out.

“F-. I wished Damian would just get it over with. Kill Louis and me already. But then Marcus would die. They were playing another game.”

I checked my room. It was empty. Drawing in a breath, I reached out the tub to grab my towel, covering myself quickly before I got up and out. I walked slowly to the door. Again I just needed to put off the light in the bathroom. I would be able to see into Marcus’s room. Nervously I slapped the switch for effect. Waiting for the lighting to even out. Nothing.

I opened the door to check the room. Could my life be any worse? My bad luck had turned into a full-blown nightmare. Getting dressed, I was so angry. I was almost sure Damian had watched me. Put out the light. It grossed me out. I knew I was sexual. But really, did that give any guy the right to ogle me. I paced the room. My brain switched to stupid Juliet. I called it the seventh stage of grief. Going crazy.

I walked to the door without my veil and slid it open. Damian smirked, seeing me. That glint in his eye confirmed it.

“Where is your veil pretty.” My teeth compressed together. Crazy full speed ahead. “Put your freaking veil on before you open that door.”

I flipped him off. Indignantly his eyes darted from my hand to my eyes. He came at me. I just disappeared. He fumbled forward. Not expecting it. How could they not tell him… Qadir knew… Was Damian not one of his guys?

I made a run for it. Damian knew where I was going, close on my heels. If he got to the door, I would be stuck. I turned around, tripping him like I did Marcus at the cages. I scoffed at him, watching him fall flat on the floor. I quickly opened the kitchen door disappearing again, just before he could get up.

“Don’t you dare! You won’t survive. You better not come back!” He spat out.

I just kept running. My heart racing.