56. I Can't Seem To Make You Mine

Juliet

I ran after Carl hearing the guys outside. Rounding the corner. I took in the scene. Marcus stood off to the side. Something told me he wasn’t okay. Stepping to the side, I let my mom and Charlene make their way down the stairs. I kept my eye on him. I followed them down and walked up to him. I tried to figure out what was happening. Hands behind his back like always. The black jersey he had on was torn in places. Maybe he got hurt. His head was tilted a little upward. He seemed fine.

I subtly gesture with my head inside. If we snuck off, we could just disappear into his room. After that morning, we did need to talk. I got excited for a minute. Thinking he was going to tell me how he felt…

But he wasn’t… Marcus was anxious, fighting with himself. He licked his lips. Biting the bottom one between his teeth. And I knew why he was struggling… He was just not giving me the reason. “We’re married… what are you waiting for?” I softly mouth.

For a second, it seemed like he would give in. Lowering his head and letting his hands fall by his side.

Carl talked to me… Irritated, my head snapped at him. My eyes caught a glimpse of the two birdlike aliens on the ground.

“What is that? It reeks… Carl! Ewe, take it away… That’s not what they sent us… Is it?”

Frustrated, I pulled Marcus to the side. “I Love You…” I mouthed again. We seemed to disappear for a second. It was just him and me.

“I’m just not enough?” I asked. His body swayed back and forth, and then he turned away from me. “I’m trying really hard here, Marcus.” His fists clenched.

My brow furrowed. I didn’t understand. He would do anything to have me. He almost kidnaped me. Before the embassy, he didn’t do anything because he was still figuring things out. Since then, he had barely spoken to me. After months of trying and giving him affirmation, nothing helped. He would not cross that line. It had to be Louis and Chris. He… couldn’t get used to the situation. The idea of us all together.

I looked over to the guys talking to my dad. Chris’s hands were running through his hair. Frustrated, telling everyone the story. Avoiding me… The only one that could tell me what was going on was Louis…

Louis was… Where did Louis go? I could have sworn that I heard him earlier.

“Where is Louis?” My mom pointed to the house as she turned to me.

“You okay, Juliet?” I shook my head. I wasn’t… Determined to find out once and for all what the hell Marcus was doing there.

***

Walking to our dressing rooms, I entered the space. Louis was in the shower. I was waiting on the daybed. When he came out, he had a towel around his waist. Another one in hand drying his hair.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Nothing, why? Oh, wait… I was almost assassinated tonight.”

“Those two birds came for you. Why?”

“Qadir, I suppose.” He smiled

“What are you so happy about.”

“Nothing…” I gave him one of my death stares, and he sighed. “I’m just happy because we bonded.”

“How?”

He regarded me a while, reading me.

“Come on, Juliet. Does everything have to be a big deal? Can’t we just live for the day?”

“I was fine this morning. I was fine yesterday… But you guys had to make a big deal of me being jealous. You…! You created this headache I’m having. Now, are you going to tell me what happened and what’s wrong with Marcus or not?”

There was a tense silence between us.

“Before we started, Marcus and I had a bet. That whoever would win in killing one of those things first could have the night with you. Because of this morning… I thought that I would give them a push… Chris okayed it, and it seems that we are slowly coming to some kind of understanding... Or at least talking about it….”

I didn’t want to insult Louis. But did he out best Marcus, and that’s why he was disappointed… Because it would be Louis and not him.

“And I guess you won,” I whispered.

“Me…! No! Thank you, baby. But no… Marcus killed both of them.” It was hard to swallow. That familiar hurt in the middle of my chest. I knew what Louis would say.

“Marcus said he felt I needed to spend time with you. So, I thought we could go into town. Get a hotel room… Just you and me?” He suggested.

That’s why Chris wasn’t talking to me. I paused, thinking. My mind persisted in its pursuit. Marcus even gave up a chance just to spend time with me. He made an excuse. I felt like I was hit with a brick. Punched in the gut. Rejection was the worst. Continuous rejection was soul-crushing. And haven’t I gone through enough of it?

I jumped up. “I’m sorry, Louis. This is not how this works.” I stormed out my anger almost on red alert, and he came after me.

“Juliet, calm down….” I ignored him. “Juliet, please just leave it….” I walked even further into the open plan living area.

“JULIET!” Louis roared at me. So, loud.

I froze in my tracks. Fists at my side opening up. His manifested authority brought me back. My anger dissipated. My butt suddenly burning… Into my core and up my spine. Making me behave. I pushed down my pants to see if my ass was literally on fire. The tattoo glowing a sparkly golden hue. My eyes met his over my shoulder. Louis was almost doubled over from anger just in his towel... I was blushing bright red, knowing everybody was staring at me… My eyes darted out the door.

Marcus had come up the stairs staring at us. As if he wasn’t expecting any of it. Did he really think I would just accept it… Did Louis really think I could just leave it… Did they know me at all?

All eyes were on me.

They were treating me like a child. Like a plaything, they could toss around as it suited them. Louis and I have come full circle again! ‘He doesn’t tell me what’s going on.’ He lied about keeping me included. No one was taking me seriously. It felt like I have made no progress. Like Qadir said… I was nothing without a man in my life ruling me.

The same question bombarded me… Nothing settled. Nothing talked about. Everything hanging in the air. What was Marcus doing there… If he didn’t want to be there? Why did he brand me if he didn’t want me…? ‘Why doesn’t he want me?’

As I disappeared, Chris grabbed me around my shoulders, holding my arms at my side. He had manifested. His enormous scary features were not cute at all that night, squeezing me so tightly that I couldn’t go anywhere.

“We see you, Juliet… Calm down.” His low feral voice almost growled out the words in my neck, and the feel of his breath on my ears soothed me a little bit. But not reassuring enough… All I heard was that “I needed to calm down… I needed to stop making a big deal out of everything… I’m going crazy on them….”

When would Chris disappoint me? I turned into him. Not wanting to think about him leaving me. He teleported us out of there. Out of the room. Very far down the driveway.

He picked me up and carried me as I grabbed onto him.

***

After we were walking around for a few minutes… I reappeared, wriggling out of Chris’s hold. He grabbed my hand as we walked further down the road.

“That wasn’t very cool.” I understood what he meant. My rejections just spiraled out to Louis. Hurt people… Hurt people.

Our situation was getting out of hand. I felt stupid… Like there was an adult understanding I was missing. Why would Marcus not just tell me everything was okay. Why did he want me to withdraw? It was subtle, but we were still moving in the wrong direction. He was disturbing my peace. Louis was enabling him. I didn’t want to say it or even think it…

But Marcus needed to go. For all our sakes. As soon as the thought settled with him getting in a car and going. A tear rolled softly down my cheeks.

“What is wrong with me? Please make me stop acting like this. Get me out of here. My mind is going nuts. I can’t… I can’t do it anymore… I’m doing more harm than good. I can’t control my own thoughts or my emotions.”

Chris pulled me into his embrace. “Okay… I can do that for you. If you do one thing for me first.”

“What?” I asked apprehensively.

“Make right with Louis. Spend some time with him. Draw close to him and be there with him.” I frowned angrily. I had wondered when Chris would disappoint me. It wasn’t even five minutes.

Yanking my hand out of his, I turned around and walked back to the house.

Chris came to my side and grabbed my wrist. I shook him off. He pulled me closer and kissed me so hard it hurt. I didn’t want to forgive him. When he gave me the slightest chance, I set my jaw and turned my face away from his. He shook me, but I flung his hands off me.

“You know what, Chris… You push me into Louis’s arms. Marcus pushes me into Louis’s arms. I don’t know….”

“Don’t say it!” He growled at me.

“Why can’t you let me choose. Why do you guys get to have the last say? Everything is always on your timing. It’s like you three put each other above what I want.”

“There is nothing normal about this situation. I’m trying… No! We’re all trying to keep four people happy, not just you. You wanted this. All of us together. You said you won’t choose. Now what? You changed your mind?”

“I’m not the one ruining this! You guys are doing things without me. Something is going on, and I’m not included… I didn’t ask for this doubt. You know how much I hate not knowing what’s going on… I’m not that person. I don’t want that kind of relationship… Now I have three.”

“Life is not that simple. And if you can’t cope now… Wait till it really gets bad… Now you get to deal with us. And we love you. You just don’t trust us. Soon you’ll be dealing with people that aren’t friendly! Want to kill you! And all you can complain about is Marcus not showing you any affection.”

Another tear rolled down my cheek. “Says the guy that left his wife for the same reasons.”

I left him standing there, and that time he didn’t stop me.

***

Chris

The night was too much all around. I was afraid, and I took it out on Juliet. I was jealous. Pushed her away. How long did we know Louis would still be alive? How long would she still be alive? I started walking up the mountain path. Doing what I usually did when I needed time.

The last few months have been the best of my life. Just us as a family. Juliet and me. Sleeping with her and Louis every night. Everyone was just happy. We have grown so close. Got to know each other.

Talking and… not talking.

But she was right. We sucked as husbands. I took out my phone. I wanted to look at the messages Marcus and Sita had been sending to one another.

Just to make sure we didn’t have it wrong.

Two days ago, I thought Juliet was angry about finding out that we had set a meeting to see her. Or thinking that I was going to see Sita again. But all she read was the first message.

We needed her out of the house to find out how serious Sita was with exposing Juliet to the whole world. The thought freaked me out. Sita was cunning, and what she would come up with wasn’t going to be some cushy scenario.

What I feared the most was losing Juliet altogether. Marcus had felt it just before he branded her. I was feeling it at that moment. Louis felt it every time they went through an episode together.

Juliet was irrational, and I got that it was the pregnancy. Michael had warned us at the embassy. Going down into the basement to go eat was just one reason. There was space for us to speak confidentially, and he laid it all out for us.

Qadir and Ahasuerus were watching us. Not just sometimes. All the time. If we thought we had any privacy, we didn’t. He told us that never had a vampire been pregnant with a hybrid… No, Riphath, baby.

It meant I was a species… But where were my people?

It hadn’t made sense at that moment… But it surely did after almost six months of pregnancy… She was going crazy, and we weren’t helping her through it. Neither one of us had ever had a stable relationship. A woman in our lives that was there every day… Let alone pregnant and in these conditions…

Marcus had the worst time because it seemed like fate made him pull the short straw every time. I kind of wondered when he would lose it. Join Juliet in the looney bin.

Walking up to the cabin was always the best part. I built it in front of trees with a view out over a vista of mountain peaks. I’ve been planning and sneaking off for so long. I had put my heart and soul into it.

So that we could disappear even if it was just for a moment. I sighed, going in. I had to do some work on the cabinets.

Juliet was so angry with Marcus and me that I doubted that Louis and she would still be at the house if I went back. I didn’t like parting with her in anger… I could always make it right. Push her till she broke and forgave me.

But that day… I had to let her hate me so that she would cling to Louis and leave. Marcus and I had a drive into Lyon soon. We just wanted them to be long gone before she suspected anything.

***

Cindy

Since I arrived in France, it had been difficult to just stand by and let Juliet live her life. She was trying so hard, and it felt like everything was against her. That stuff Rodrigo had pumped into her… was making her… a little crazy.

She had three grown men to keep happy…

“Liam, I feel like this is all our fault. We interfered with Marcus… Pushed him into branding her. Into her life. She would never have felt so helpless if we never introduced them. Made him come around to see if he could set her free.”

“We had to do something….”

“We interfered with Louis….”

Liam was sitting across from me. Miné in his arms. We were in our rooms, and the house was quiet. After Louis did that, everyone kind of headed for their rooms.

“Did you know he could do that?” I asked. “Control her like that?”

Liam shook his head. “It had been so long… I don’t think anyone knows really what it entails. Or Samuel just didn’t want to tell me everything. The fact that they tried to kill Louis? They are sure Marcus won’t die?”

“Or they… just want to hurt them… We didn’t choose Louis to cover her on Marcus. That was never the plan….” Liam sighed. “And now they are stuck, and he isn’t doing anything. Did you hear them this morning?”

“Yeah…”

“The only guy that is there for her is the only one that chose to be here. He is so good with her. He anticipates her every move. She listens to him.”

“And Chris will have to leave….” Liam whispered. “I think they found out about the third planet tonight.”

***

Juliet

After leaving Chris in the driveway, I went into an already quiet and dark house.

I walked to our dressing room and packed a bag for Louis and me and everything we would need. I dressed sexily but still for a whole day of traveling. I washed my face and put on makeup. All the while trying to pull my psycho self together. But I kept crying… I lived like that because I could die tomorrow… Or have my tongue cut out… Or turn into a masked freak. I reapplied my makeup, but it was no use.

I left my face like it was. I picked out an outfit for Louis and walked out, pausing at the door.

Peering down the hall at Marcus’s room, my hands rubbed nervously over the handles of the leather bag. He just needed to still be there. Then I would be okay. I heard myself pray that he was in bed, still ignoring me.

Slowly I walked closer, stretching out to touch the door handle, pulling it down. I pushed. The door stopped... It was locked!

“You locked your door?” I pushed again, pulling the handle all the way down. I kept pushing and jiggling the handle a few times.

Loudly I slapped the door with an open hand...

“You can be glad you’re still here. You better be when I come back… Louis! You have two minutes to get your ass in the car. Bye, mom! Bye, dad! See you in a few days!”

“Bye, Jules. I will make sure he stays put.”

“Thank you, daddy.” I slapped Marcus’s door again. I was so angry that I couldn’t even think straight.

“Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? The girl is the one behind the locked door… If you didn’t know….” I yelled, slapping his door again. I heard him doing something. I put my ear to the door, trying to hear if he was saying anything. But I couldn’t make it out.

Louis staggered out of the dressing room. He had put on the outfit I had chosen, taking my attention away from Marcus for a split second.

His boots were always loosely laced, and he pulled them on, hopping on his one leg then the other. That morning he left his hair unstyled, and it hung loosely around his face making him beddable. Louis shook his head, walking over to me. “At least you think I’m hot. And still, want me in between the sheets.”

“One thing we will never have to worry about.”

Louis was still a little angry at me. And I knew… by the way he took the bag from me. He put his ear to the door closing his eyes, and smirked. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the garage. The sun was coming up outside. It was beautiful and golden all around us.

“What did you hear?” I asked as we drove down the lane.

“He was under his covers in a dark room… What do you think he was doing?”

I didn’t really know why Louis told me that? It just made me even more depressed. Angrier. “Are you going to be like this the whole trip?” I barked.

“Just give me the morning. I’ll pull myself together. You have to remember that I’m also losing my s-.”

“Are you blaming me?”

He shook his head in irritation. I’ve never seen Louis like that, and it was kind of scary.

***

Louis and I travel to Lyon. Got on a train and headed south towards the coast. I passed out as soon as we sat down. Louis used the window to sleep. I used his shoulder.

I got uncomfortable quickly and tried lying on his lap with my legs lifted up, but it didn’t really help. I wasn’t tired. Just overtired. I got up, walking from one side of the train to the other. Stretching my legs. When I reached the end of our compartment, I saw Jack and Michael in one of the cubicles.

Michael was reading the paper. Jack, sleeping on his arms. Resting on the table they had between them. I yawned… I desperately wanted to sleep.

After walking past them a few times, I saw Michaels’s bloodshot eyes and dark circles. What did he do the whole night? When I walked past the third time, he pulled the paper down in a huff. The sound startled me.

“Juliet! I swear, can’t you just go to sleep.” I point to my belly. He snorted.

“Hey!” I put my hands in my pockets, walking closer to him. “You know what I want… Just help me out.” I sound like a drug addict, but I would take anything if someone would just make it all stop. Just for an hour…

For the longest time, he regarded me. Contemplating if he should give me what I wanted. I flashed my eyebrows at him, giving him a suggestive smile. Looking like Jerome that day at our gate. Twitchy for a fix.

He got up… Not taking his eyes off me.

“You know what it cost you last time.” My eyes almost rolled out of my head, sticking my tongue out the side of my mouth. How cringey he made it sound. My hands clasped nervously in front of me, hoping he wouldn’t change his mind.

“I don’t mind… Can we make it an IOU?” I said quickly… I shot, gun fingers at him. Michael’s lusty eyes run over my chest and slowly stop on my lips as he stood up tall in front of me. I didn’t mind it either. I lifted my chin. Our eyes locked. He was a part of me… Knew everything about me.

He took his suitcase from the compartment above him and put it on the table in front of us. Rummaging through it, he took out a small black bag. Inside was syringes, a few vials, and some other stuff I didn’t recognize.

He scanned the train compartment. We were in first class, at the front of the train. Secluded. There was just us and four others. A woman sleeping. And three men reading the paper.

He filled one of the syringes. He gestured for me to sit in his seat. He took the plastic rubber band and fixed it around my upper arm. Taking my arm in his hand, he ran his fingers over my skin a few times. The last time he stopped pressing just below the creases of my elbow, letting my veins fill up.

“You sure? Aren’t you supposed to spend time with Louis?”

“Seriously? You giving me relationship advice.” I muttered.

“You like to scoff at me. Like I’m….”

“Suppose to fix everything….” It was quiet between us as he stayed fixed on my face. “Look, I just have too many chemicals in my brains screwing with me… Everybody’s energy is messing with me. Can you at least try to understand?”

“I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Then live in my veins, Michael.” The corner of his mouth tilted up.

“Just one last time.” He whispered as his hand slid over the skin of my arm. I closed my eyes… I couldn’t help my body respond. My flesh was covered with pimples as the gooseflesh spread all over me. He felt it and gripped my arm, stroking his thumb over the skin. Slowly he pulled me toward him and pushed the needle into my vein, and injected the liquid into me.

“Tell him to wait for me. It’s just three days. Then we can spend as much time together as he wants.” Michael undid the rubber band, and the feeling shot through me like a lightning bolt of release. The euphoria was so absolute that I almost fell back like in the movies. A calmness overtook me. Warmth and all my worries just drifted away. I shook my head, my vision fussy. Michael put his arm under my shoulder. I tried to hold onto his neck as he picked me up.

“Just sleep… My little Juliet.”

“Don’t do that. I hate it when you call me that.” He put me down next to Louis. Placing my head softly on his shoulder. Running his hand over my face and hair. He sat across from us. I knew he was there, but I couldn’t see him anymore.