《Start Over On Easy Mode (BL)》Chapter 25
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Liam looked at the other to see if they were as confused as him. There were concerned looks all around, except for Theo, who looked uncomfortable. He wasn’t a senior personnel in the military for show, his instincts were pretty good. He held Ron and pulled him over to Theo.
Theo recognized why he was coming over and volunteered an answer before the other party asked. “When I laugh like that, someone usually ends up dead.”
That should have been a joke, but Liam couldn’t make himself laugh. Zach’s laugh had a distinct tone to it that chilled your blood. He couldn’t say it was deranged. Instead, it lacked all emotion.
“Are you sure he’s nineteen?” Three sets of eyes focused on him. Liam squirmed.
“You better figure out how you're going to apologize and make it up to him.” Cain took a last look at Zach before leaving the room. He took Theo with him. At times like these, it was best to make yourself scarce.
Ron wanted to smack Liam upside the head. His biggest problem with Liam was his arrogance. It might be his military background, but he was arrogant. He thought his decisions were the best and when he made up his mind, everyone else was supposed to follow.
Liam often failed to realize that the other people in his life weren’t soldiers. They didn’t have to follow orders. They had autonomy. There also wasn’t one right path to take. “Let’s go.” Ron didn’t forget what the man was here for in the first place. Since he pissed off Zach, the best thing for Liam to do was to make himself useful in neutralizing Rain and Brad.
Tynan rubbed circles on Zach’s back. The younger man's laugh made him uncomfortable. He would prefer if the man dissolved into hysterics or threw a tantrum. He kneaded at the tense muscles in Zach’s back. Fingers gripped the front of his shirt. The knuckles popped under strain.
The ending was as abrupt as the start. Zach stopped mid-laugh.
It wasn’t that the Castor family lost interest in him after his mother died. They just had a better way of monitoring him. A spy planted before his mother was dead. If someone said his wife wasn’t a spy planted at his side, he would call them a liar.
When they met, she said she was an only child. Her history and background were clean, and everything indicated that she was born and raised in R Country. He met her when he went to visit his mother. He was the one who helped her get her passport when their relationship became serious, and he wanted her to live with him in S country.
It explained why she could be so calm as she watched him die. Since he never suspected or guarded against her, he had no clue what lessons she taught his children.
Alright, this was an opportunity. He took a moment to savor Tynan’s warmth. Depending on how Tynan reacted to what he had to say, this might be the last time he got to enjoy this feeling.
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He didn’t have the courage to look up. “We need to talk.”
Tynan tensed for a moment, but when Zach didn’t try to leave his arms, he relaxed. Index finger under Zach's chin, he forced the man to look up. Crystal clear blue eyes looked up at him. They carried a story of pain and sadness. “Let’s go home.” With an arm around Zach’s waist, he led him out of the house.
They didn’t speak on the car ride home. Zach clung to Tynan. He tried to organize what he was going to say in his mind. How did you tell someone about your past life?
He also needed to decide if he was going to talk about everything he remembered or keep to the main points.
Zach changed his mind a hundred times before they reached home. In the end, he decided to tell everything. If he wanted a chance at a future without the burdens of his past, then he needed to be honest with Tynan and with himself.
Tynan took his hand and led them to the solarium. It was one of Zach’s favorite places in the house. When they reached the door, Zach stopped walking.
“Let’s go to the library.” Zach didn’t want to run the chance of ruining that room for himself. It might not make any sense if he tried to explain it. He didn’t have the words to explain it to himself, but he didn’t want his trauma to color the room. He wouldn’t be able to separate the events that happened there from the place itself.
“To the library?” Tynan asked.
Zach didn’t even know the house had a library. Since he came here, he’d been busy with one thing or the next. He hadn’t explored on his own. He nodded his head and followed as Tynan led the way.
They passed Mrs. Brown, who sensed the weird atmosphere between them. Zach pretended not to see the concerned look that flashed across her face before her mask of neutrality returned.
When he saw the library, he was almost regretful that they chose this room. It was grand. There were two-story-high, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. On every wall except on that had a large window. It was a bibliophile’s dream.
If they were still together after this. He would take the time to explore all the wonders of Tynan’s home.
“Do you want some?” Tynan held up a decanter with amber liquid inside.
Zach considered it before declining. It was easy to fall back on a clutch like alcohol. He didn’t need to develop any bad habits. He would learn to cope and manage his emotions. “No, thank you.”
Tynan poured a finger into a glass. He lifted it to his lips but didn’t drink. “How bad is it?”
“Depends.” Zach wandered over to the window, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “More a fantastical tale.” The window overlooked a pond. Tynan didn’t have a garden. Zach was curious as to why he didn’t. There were many flowers in the solarium. He felt rather than saw Tynan come closer.
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“I…,” Zack said. “Well, we…wel.”
Tynan rested a hand on Zach’s shoulders. He kissed the back of his lover's neck. “Take your time.” It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t anxious to hear what Zach had to say, but he’d resolved himself to making things work no matter what.
Zach took a deep breath. Once he started, the words flowed. At times, he needed to stop so that the sorrow didn’t consume him. During other sections, he would laugh as he recounted something funny from a moment in his life. He talked about all the highs and lows. Zach didn’t leave anything out from the time he won the lottery straight until he died.
They moved from the window to sit on the floor at some point during the story. Then Tynan had led them to the sofa where he nestled Zach under his arm.
When Zach started, he’d been skeptical, but the more he listened, the more amazed he became. The mood towards the end became solemn. It took all his restraint not to crush Zach against him. If Zach was reborn, one key component was necessary. Zach had to have died.
He’d acted calm while listening, but it was hard listening to Zach talk about his wife and children. Zach had drifted off at several points, the memories too much to bear. His death caused Tynan so much anguish. He wanted to lash out on the behalf of the scared boy who did his best in the face of adversity. Tynan wanted to cherish the man who persevered and carved out a place for himself in the world.
More than that, he wanted to punish those who’d cause the person he cared about to endure so much suffering. Tynan had no one to direct his anger towards because those people hadn’t committed any sins yet.
Crystal and Ryan. They were unlucky. They were around and would have to bear the brunt of his fury.
“Tynan, my wife’s name was….”
Tynan covered Zach's mouth. He didn’t want to hear it. She would never have a chance to get near Zach.
Zach gripped Tynan’s wrist, kissing his hand before pulling it away from his mouth. “This is important. Her name is Nina Page.”
The weight of those words settled onto Tynan’s soul. He let out a mirthless laugh. Now he understood Zach's reaction. He realized what had prompted his imp to share. Tynan was relieved. Other people had offered themselves up, and he had a new place to direct his anger.
“Live however you want. I will always be here to support you.” Tynan’s words were earnest. “I’m falling in love with you Zach Mallory.” He brought his hands up to cup Zach on either side of his face. Those blue eyes would dance to his before looking away. A sweet blush stained his cheeks. Tynan could resist stoking that supple flesh with his thumb.
Zach nuzzled into Tynan’s touch. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of roughened palms soothing his soul. “I think you're pretty perfect Tynan Blackburn.”
Tynan would let Zach get away with it for now. This experience must have been draining.
They would have years together to speak honeyed words to each other. Tynan stood, scooping Zach up into his arms. Zach's arms came up and wrapped around his neck. He couldn’t resist bending his head to pepper kisses on Zach’s head. Their conversation lasted a long time. The moon was already high in the sky.
Zach seemed all out of words and energy. His limp body rested against Tynan. He took him into the bathroom and drew him a bath. Zach’s sleepy eyes crinkled at the edges with a smile. His little imp was cooperative as he undressed him.
Tynan took a step back, leaving Zach to relax. He didn’t say it, but Zach needed time and space to organize his thoughts and rebuild the walls he’d torn down. He would be raw around the edges for a while, and it wasn’t a good time for Tynan to push him or take advantage of his vulnerability.
He called Mrs. Brown and asked her to send up something light for him and Zach to eat. He chuckled to himself as he headed to the guest bathroom to shower. He spent more time in there than the bathroom attached to his bedroom.
Tynan left Zach to his own thought for thirty minutes before going in to collect him. He helped Zach get dressed and made sure he ate something before putting him to bed.
Zach nuzzled into the sheets. “You know I’m an old man, right?”
It was hard for Tynan to think of Zach as being older than nineteen because of how he looked. After all, humans were visual creatures. However, it answered many questionable points about Zach’s experience and personality. His lucky investment in Pe City took on a different meaning. “Naughty.” Tynan tapped him on the nose. He leaned down and captured Zach’s lips. The kiss was a mere whisper as their lips grazed against each other. “No matter how old you are, it’s nice to have someone to support you and help you when you aren’t feeling your best.”
Tynan got in beside Zach and pulled him into his arms. “You can take care of me next time.”
Zach closed his eyes, savoring Tynan’s strength. This was the outcome he’d wanted but never let himself hope for. He closed his eyes and let his problem drift out of his mind.
Tomorrow was another day, he would worry about everything then. At least now, he was assured that Tynan would be there to help him. He couldn’t help smiling as he remembered Cain, Theo, and Ron. He wasn’t alone.
He was alive. He resolved to be open to new opportunities and people that entered his life. The easy do-over that he wanted would come later. Zach would make new friends and enemies as he lived his life.
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