《The Lazy Edgy Protagonist Is Lazy and Edgy Today As Well》3-Doughnuts Arc ①
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There are times that try men's hearts. Pain and suffering are all well and good, I got used to that in hell. What came next... I wasn't prepared. This is the story of the darkest time of my life. I mean, after the part where I came out of hell after defeating Satan. Well, I mean, after the part where my father died before my eyes and I lost my arm and eye. There's worse things. For me at least... and that was...
After a long, hard day of wanton murder in China my jiangshi I summoned(it's important to fit in with the local culture, I can't always use the edge demon lords) carried me via boob conveyance away from my most recent run in with Dark Reunion(that supernatural organization hunting me down, I mentioned that, right?), I saw it. I saw it. It was just a lazy glance, obscured by
I saw it. It was just a lazy glance, obscured by jiangshi boob, but I saw it. A ring, floating in the sky. On it were small, cylinder-shaped, multicolored shafted additions sunk into a black pool of some substance given the appearance of dripping off of the ring. Spread out across it's grand circular shape. Like sprinkles from the sky. I thought back, it the stars I saw at night, to my first snowy night on Earth where the white pinpricks danced down from the sky like glitter.
"What... what the hell is that?!" yelled Gavr in my head. My left eye shaking in fear. I didn't know at that time, but Gavr's precognition ability sensed what was wrong. Even in the trying battles of hell, even in the final battle against Satan, that power didn't awaken. Until now.
By this time in my life, I became too lazy to respond to verbal or mental communication. Naturally, if I'm using jiangshi boob conveyance in the middle of China, getting disgusted and shocked faces everywhere I went, something at the level of a complaining angel that I sealed in my eye would have no effect on me.
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Buer directed my bandaged right arm towards the ring in the sky, trailing down to some conveniently placed doors. My loyal Buer sensed my intent.
"Jiangshi! Prince Laom desires to obtain knowledge of this facility! Advance!"
Bouncing up and down on the jiangshi's boob conveyance my limp form captured images through both my eyes. A ceiling. Well, that was about all I could see or care to see as I drifted on the jiangshi boobs into the building. As the door opened, I smelled it.
It was at that time that my life changed forever. I made to move my body for the first time since my last fight. Buer began to cause my arm to ache. Be still, my right hand!
"Master! You can't! You need to heal! They shot you with the holy bullets again!" Gavr chimed in, unwanted advice as always.
Buer's smug lion face appeared next to her delicate blue eyes and blonde hair. His goat legs wheeled about.
"Can't you feel it, Gavr? This is... a delicacy!"
I rose. The lazy me rose from my supine position on the jiangshi boobs. As to how this was accomplished, I slid off. I don't exert myself more than necessary, even in a situation as pressing as this!
My right hand went to my face, Buer casted gravity magic to keep me afloat and made sure to let one eye peek through the gap between my fingers so I could direct his movements. To a normal person, it would appear I was slouching and sauntering forward, however the truth is that Buer is directing my body and manipulating my legs with gravity magic to allow me to move forward without actually walking there myself.
This is one of my six hundred and sixty-six lazy techniques! When I came to Earth, I swore I would never exert myself again! And so, I spent the first year in training to become as lazy as possible while still obtaining all I wanted in life!
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That is how the technique "Demon Gravity Goat Legs Buer's Special Number 2 - I guess this is how I'll walk if I need to" was born!
Each step an illusion, I wasted zero energy, completely mooching off Buer's demonic energy as I lurched my body forward, following the smell.
And there in front of me was a counter, a beautiful girl in a cheongasm with a smile behind it, and behind her-
Thousands of them.
Rings. They matched the ring I saw in the sky!
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