So programs are complicated. I ended up getting distracted and delving too deeply into the nitty gritty of Garlic and getting my head turned around a bit. The song choice is making things worse by confusing me further: why is “lost” being used as a noun and why do they want it? I am super lost and not happy about it, but I am neither a programmer nor a creator so I suppose it is just a consequence of ignorance. So I did read the user manual though so I should be able to use this although I want do want to some sort of SPN because prying eyes and all that. I must say that I am almost disappointed in myself for not trying earlier but the fact that there were external roadblocks means I can absolve myself slightly?

The soldiers around me begin to stir, the full guys first but eventually even the meat begins to get up and at ‘em. Looks like it was a good sleep though, since tensions are being held at bay for now. I need to figure out how to be a bit more inspiring though; if they truly force me to be a leader I have an obligation to do everything to be as good a leader I can be. I should try to find someone, maybe grab some talks on public speaking, stuff like that. Somehow my heart tells me that this is the right thing to do.

Food is served to those who eat it and the flight proceeds quietly and quickly, time being passed for me by trying to understand poetry: I think I have got the hang of “The Conqueror Worm” but some words elude me, there is that God character again, and it seems so pessimistic; the song about the rhythm of breathing seems almost odd, but it is dark and mentions understanding poetry. I notice it appears rumors of my rank have spread since people treat me more respectfully and have stopped shooting me dirty looks. The cyborgs are hanging out together more, just a few of those shock trooper units, but a lot of combat and only a little bit of labor. If I recall the labor units are strictly navy since their combat ability is strictly secondary… I need to really put some effort into making this all clear to myself before I make an embarrassment of myself.

I watch the cliques and groups form and split, marines with marines, sailors with sailors, the full guys are the exception ‘cause we gotta stick together. How many of them will be alive when this is over. I must say I don’t want any of them to die; I just hope that the people in charge begin to care about what the consequences of their actions are; I see friends coming together, old, new, and soon to be. I don’t know why I feel like I am seeing things in a new light, fear of death maybe, but it is a strange experience regardless. I just wish I could protect them.

We reach our destination in short order and things seem to pass by in a blur. As we disembark I am the last to leave and am swiftly whisked away as soon as I am off. Brief meetings with officials that say little and reveal less, getting some clothes but am told not to put them on, and then dumped in room that looks suspiciously like the ones used to do some serious work on cyborgs. Since I am stuck here I might as well take a gander at the clothes. They seem odd though, like they are made for someone similar to me but with extra bits. I think I am starting to figure out why I am in this particular room.

I am not left waiting long before someone comes in. He is pretty heavily converted actually, piecemeal by the looks of it, and an otherwise tall thin man in a medical coat with markings on that I do not recognize. “I see you have gotten a sense of what is about to happen,” he intones surprisingly lyrically, good singing voice really. “It is a mix of cosmetic and mechanical upgrades. The process is automated but I am here to oversee in case of any issues as well as help you briefly in case of transitional issues. Ah, niceties. I am Lieutenant Pies.” His bedside manner may be awful but he says it so prettily that I cannot bring myself to judge him for it.

He gestures for me to lie down on a short table. “I need permission to access your external sensors. Not your heart though,” he adds almost hastily. “Just to make sure to monitor your state and keep your pain under control.” I tense up; I know he cannot access my heart at all but I just get nervous you know? I feel his hand on my shoulder, hard and warm with machinery. “You are in good hands Sergeant Kel. Anything this machine cannot do I can: just trust me.” I cannot help but relax under his touch and acquiesce to his demand.

It does not take too long; the machine is quick and efficient and this guy is certainly keeping good on his promise to take care of me. It is a strange feeling to be opened, even when numbed, and poked around inside while you’re awake and they definitely mucked around everywhere, even my chest and face, ugh blinded because my face got taken off. He touched my shoulder again when I realized they would be near my heart though so he was truly on top of this. He has me rest a bit though. “I cannot be with you too long, your ship leaves in two days, but I will do what I can. Okay then, I am going to need you stand up please, slowly.”

I comply but the weight of my body is suddenly a lot higher and each motion is taking more effort than I remember. I eventually push myself up slowly and stiffly and I must say the experience is fairly unpleasant. “That is to be expected. You are calibrated for your previous weight level to prevent issues and we just need the system to adapt to the new load. Please walk around the room normally. Speed is not important, posture is.” I comply and achingly begin to move. I honestly am not sure that it is real pain I am feeling since I am not getting warnings or anything but frankly it hurts too much to try anyways. I can barely lift my feet up but keep on trucking as best I can. “I see,” he says musically. “Would you like me to turn down your senses a bit, see if that helps?” I can only, and barely, nod my assent. Even my head is much heavier it seems.

Once the weight and stiffness is hard to feel I begin to move more fluidly; it is not difficult since a lot of tactile sense remains but it feels so weird and I am not a huge fan of doing it or having it done to me. As I begin to move more casually around the room I notice that the weight feels more present but less… weighty; the stiffness is mostly gone too as my stumping turns into an efficient walk. “Good,” Lieutenant Pies says with a smile. “I have your senses up to normal for the moment, so please try moving about more quickly, jumping, stretching, and shifting your center of gravity. We will do the more formal exercises in a moment, after I see if the systems are functioning adequately in casual use.”

I begin to put my body through its basic paces. Landing is a lot louder than it used to be, just how much weight did I gain, but the action is unchanged and I think I can tag a few extra inches, which is cool. My sense of balance has improved and I am no slower for my boost in mass so I won’t be schlepping around. I suspect no rocket feet though although I am not sure why I would need them they definitely do sound fun. “Alright, looks like everything functions basically. How about I help you see what you look like and then we do the real work?”

He leaves the room briefly and struggles a bit to bring in a large mirror. “Do you want help,” I ask quickly.

“Yes, just set this against the wall.” I quickly snag the mirror from him and lean it against the wall and take a step back. The image is a bit distorted by the angle of the mirror but I immediately notice I certainly look a lot more impressive visually. He moves over and adjusts the mirror to be parallel to me. “Try this.” I have had quite a few angularities added on to me, giving me a sharper, almost winged, look. I see that a ton of decaling and detailing was added as well as various bits of golden plating. A very dramatic, dynamic look. My face definitely has a lot of work, especially emphasizing the empty space where anything indicating eyes would be; maybe to scare people with my presumed soullessness? I have a heart though. I certainly to cut a far more striking appearance, something I cannot help but get the feeling the Lieutenant appreciates; his eyes are not quite leering at me.

“Thank you, Lieutenant. This is certainly quite the upgrade. Anything I can know about it?” I don’t know how to feel about that look but I feel the need to distract either of us from it.

“Aside from baseline improvements a few you’ll learn shortly. A note though, your senses do run through everything, even the purely decorative appearing ones: hide things in the weirdest places. Let me show you.” He sets the mirror down and strides over to me. He gently touches the small wings coming off my face and I can feel his finger running slowly. “Every part of you need to be aware of its current state. It will be no good if someone wings you and you don’t notice because you did not feel it. The real gem are the embossed lines. They actually hide a vast array of highly sensitive sensors across your entire body, real bleeding edge stuff. Let me show you…” He takes that warm and hard finger and traces it along the lines of my face with terrifying gentleness and agonizing slowness. The sensations I feel are almost overwhelming and I feel my knees weaken and I think my body even sags. “It looks like you are blind but really you see better than anyone. If you need to sit down for a moment feel free Sergeant.”

I am scared. He literally knows my body better than I do and… I am not sure what is happening right now. I desperately fight to stand up and act like this is not affecting me anymore. “I will be fine Lieutenant, just a bit of momentary surprise from just how sensitive that is.” His response is to stop for a moment and step back, taking his hand off my face.

“Ah, good. It was important that you understand just how sensitive they could be. In time you will be granted control over them but your reflexes are only superhuman.” He seems more desperate to believe his own lie more than having me believe it. I wonder what came over him. “Unless you have any more questions about your appearance why don’t we proceed to testing and setting up your advanced systems? I don’t really know what happened but it is probably best if I just move along, right?

We text my balance to some incredible extremes; turns out I am “gyroscopically stable” now. I can definitely move faster despite the extra weight, only for so long, and am stronger too. I am not sure how much of this is the upgrade and how much is just unleashing the bodies potential though. Making a deal where I am kept so much in the dark definitely has some downsides. When we are done the Lieutenant directs me to put my clothes on. They are definitely designed to accommodate my new body shape and a lot less revealing that what I see slapped on us metal guys sometimes, which is nice. When I am done I am told to get some rest and I need to be back at 0600 for a full day’s rundown and education. When he leaves my back is turned, but I manage to swing around just in time to see him give me a look that I did not quite catch.

I find my assigned bunk with everyone else in the heavy duty area and get promptly undressed again and under the covers. It is all meaningless, really, but it makes me feel a lot safer for some reason. I try to calm down and not think about anything, but even as I fall asleep I can still feel him touching me and that look he gave me… I don’t know what it is but I do not want to be alone with him tomorrow.

“Do you remember the trees Youth?” An uplifting victorious song whispers. “In Tír na nÓg the trees are always fresh and green, a bounty of life.” A pleasant fragrance stirs the air. “Sandal, rose, cedars three, and that is only some of them. Would like to smell of rosewood Youth? Just mark yourself with its oil and the greatest power of all will aid you and the Grigori will guide you.” The smell whirls around me and the song now pounds low thunder. “Then come to the waters Youth… Come and sink to the bottom. Only with Purple can you understand do what must be done in the Psychic Abyss.” The vast ocean at my feet and I am drawn in but afraid to step forward, the foam lapping at my feet. But wait, a thought occurs…