I wake up, for real since I was actually asleep, in that same desolate room as what now seems like always. I look around a bit and, in the corner of my vision, I can see Luna waiting patiently, looking at something in what I can now clearly see is a cybernetic eye. “Hey,” I rasp out. “How long have you been there?” My voice seems to have been improved somewhat. I don’t remember anyone working on it.

She looks at me and smiles a bit, “we need to get back anything you had to emote. It is hard to tell how you are feeling. As for your question, a few hours. I can check the clock if you want a better number.” She pulls her chair closer to me and leans over so she can see my face while gently getting me to lie back down. “I am here Kel, so that means you’re safe. Or should I say Sergeant Kel?” Her voice seems almost mischievous when she says my title.

“No titles, please. I did not join the military by proper routes so I hardly feel like I deserve the honor. Besides, it also serves as a reminder of how the government has far more influence in my life than I entirely prefer but the devil needs its due and I cannot say that I did not get something useful out of it.” I never really thought about my lack of visible emotion to be honest. Between body language and tone I always got across how I felt to others of my kind but quite frankly I do not believe that the problem with emotive conversation with meatier folks was incapacity, although difficulties could exist, but rather a mix of maliciousness and apathy married in one convenient dismissive package.

Luna laughs gently, “Fair enough. I got into this job because I love technology and want to help people, all people.” She leans in closer to me and drops her voice a bit, “I could see you weren’t happy with the surgeon. May I ask why?”

I force a sigh through the vox, “she does not care about my heart at all, totally disrespected it. Adding in stealing my memories is just icing on the bitch cake. How could someone dedicate their life to working with something so important and be so callous about it? It… it makes me feel like my heart does not matter at all.” I try to sink into the bed as best I can, letting my existence fade away.

“But she did not find your dreams,” she barely breathes, “which means you have a good heart. It keeps you safe and happy. She only sees the machinery of the heart and not the artistry. I have repaired many of you guys and I know how important your heart is.” I try to touch her face with my arm but it is too stiff to easily reach across my body and make it. She instead reaches out her hand and holds mine. “You are still human and need the affection, respect, and understanding that we all want. You guys make my career worth it sometimes.” She gently puts my hand back down to my side. “How is the memory going?”

Oh, right, my files. “Oh, right, my files. Let me check those.” I stop for the briefest moment and concentrate on my internal self. It looks like the files were scanned but the lack of pointers combined with some hex magic for that file sector specifically means that they likely missed them when they dumped. That or they just don’t care. But everything is intact and still nicely organized, nice. I am actually quite pleased about this I must say. Some of this stuff is ancient and was hard to get my hands and other stuff is modern and unappreciated and was hard to get my hands on. I admit a lot of it has meanings lost to time, like who was the Ancient Mariner and who did he anger. I mean a god called “God” just seems like lack of creativity to me to be honest. It was not until I underwent conversion that I actually really understood “Phenomenal Woman.” Never really noticed women, no breeding rights means issues with physical relations with the opposite gender. I picked up an appreciation for both men and women when I suddenly had logistical issues though which just seems…

My wildly careening train of thought is interrupted by Luna gently tapping on my face. “Hello in there. You still okay?”

“Rude,” I respond. “I was thinking; I got good stuff in here you know. Question, did you fix my vox a bit?” I gesture gently to my throat.

She shakes her head and her hair jostles gently, “the reboot probably made the repair protocol kick in a bit more successfully and it did some perfunctory work. I will still put in a new one when your parts come in a week. Since you do have some autonomous repairs going off your HUD may be back up soon. Start seeing the world in the color you are meant to.” I try giving it a quick activation and it throws back an error.

“Nothing yet I am afraid. I should check to see if I have audio at least so I can use my music.” I flit through some random files and grab something random. Soothing but quietly passionate tunes begin to play in the back of my mind. “Music is good, so progress.” I settle down a little and enjoy the tales of the beautiful Earth, the places, the plants, and of course how special the heart is, truly good stuff. “Tell me, have you seen Earth for realsies? Is it as bad as they say?”

She shrugs, “I have only seen the pictures myself, but I assume a planet that once held so much life is not supposed to be that particular shade of brown. Supposed to be millennia before we can go back and that is assuming cleaning technology gets to the point where they can scrub Earth at all.” She plays with her hair slightly as though she is losing herself to her thoughts, “never really worried about it though. Ganymede is home, artificial gravity or no.” She giggles a little to herself, “made the transition to ships super easy though. I am told by people who grew up on one hundred percent natural gravity that artificial gravity takes some getting used to.”

I continue staring at the ceiling, music playing quietly, “I was born on a ship. I never felt real gravity until right before I got put in my first body. I vaguely remember feeling a bit ‘bendy’ from the experience but as a cyborg all gravity feels the same to me. Maybe no emotional connection to it?” I drum my fingers to the beat. “I mean… I guess I am not as human as I pretend to be?”

Luna raps me sharply on the face for that. “Experiencing the world differently does not mean you aren’t human. No existential crises on my watch young man!”

I wave her hand away from my face and keep it close for defensive utilization, “I am hardly young and I thought you did not do psychology.”

Luna risks a second rap on my face but this time I am more than prepared for her vicious assault on my dignity, “Thirty years is young for you guys, a good heart and quality body means you could live to be two hundred. Besides, it is not psychology; it is being a good friend. Look at me, happy and hearty at the age of forty-two.”

I turn and look at her, trying to see any signs of aging and there is simply none there. “How? And how long have you been at this?”

“The magic of aloe vera,” what’s that, “combined with an anti-aging regimen and the gentleness of ship life. And yes, I also have no idea what aloe vera is aside from it is supposed to be good for your skin.” I am still busy struggling with the realization that the plucky, young, idealistic woman I was talking with is actually far more worldly than I ever imagined.

“You must have some stories then.” I turn my head back to stare at the ceiling as a song about “doves” comes on. “Have you…” The question seems so weird that I cannot force myself to finish it. Honestly I regret starting it because that means that it could be pried out of me.

“Not as many as you’d think, aside from being able to walk freely through certain slums by reputation alone. And to answer your question, sometimes.” She seems unfazed by her blatant use of telepathic ability and the rudeness of the question.

“But, how, why, but how,” I stutter out. I have heard rumor of those who can read our thoughts by remotely accessing our memories but I always thought those were scary stories.

She laughs, loudly this time, “I know what you are thinking but nothing so sinister. I have never actually met someone who can read the mind of a full cyborg. I have been asked that question, or parts of it, so much that I can instantly spot it. The women are as bad as the men honestly but it is entirely an understandable concern. A lot of companies don’t give their converted employees time to learn anything about themselves beyond what they need to know to serve. It’s heinous but that is the world we live in.” Her body sags a little, “I try my best but I feel like I am trying to hold back the flood with two bags of sand and the power of wishes. I am gonna try though with those two bags though; maybe I can inspire someone else to join me fight the waters.”

I just stay laying back. “I cannot really find out much about this body, being classified and all. About general stuff I never really found much but then again I never really looked too much. Twenty hour work days are a beast even on thirty hour worlds and given ship time. Bleh” I honestly think some way of showing off a yuck face would be a really useful gadget to have given how often I make gross noises. Childhood learning turns into adult skills I suppose.

Luna makes a gesture with her hand I do not quite catch, “the problem may be that you are looking into the wrong place. There are ways of keeping things more hidden in the net; try looking for a program called Garlic. I can give the address now that you will need once you have the program.”

“Thanks.” I look at her a little bit, “I really do mean that. Thanks for everything.” Another song comes on, this time about the heart being covered. “I have been full conversion for about twelve years and it can be hard sometimes. I mean, I am happy conceptually but this whole process could have been a lot more pleasant.” The music soothes the dull ache that I did not notice forming until now but cruelly sharpens the edge. “Any idea of when my new parts will be in,” I ask, brilliantly and subtly changing the subject.

“End of this week definitely. So about four days, Earth cycle. It also includes a new set of repair nanites to help you get back up quickly plus some stuff I am supposed to install but know nothing about.” She is clearly unfazed by this development. “Not the first time I had to work with something above my paygrade and security clearance, so no big deal. I am not the best mechanic in the universe for nothing.” She flashes me a sly but assured look. “Looks like you are doing well though. Hate to say it but I should get going. People will be in to check you periodically. Rest well, okay?”

I am saddened to hear her leaving but it was inevitable and I now do have some control over my ability to entertain myself at least. “Good bye then. I will see you not too long from now at least.” I don’t think I hid the droplet of sorrow in my voice well but she does not react if I failed. She turns and walks away, nodding goodbye as she passes through the day and shuts it behind her.

Four days passes by more quickly thanks to the combined powers of music and any sense of time passing. The procedure goes by pretty quickly with Luna and I barely speaking and recovery happening quickly once all my parts are in tip-top shape or close to it. It only takes a few days afterwards for me to have everything back up, HUD, net access, walk, talk, run jump and play. Well, not the last part so much; playing is for people who don’t work all the time.

Literally as soon as I was able to leave though I got the message.