I wonder if I made this same expression back then. Her eyes looked vacantly at me, life seems to be gone from them, her mouth open and her body frozen. A mix of fear and guilt invaded me the more I looked at her and, after waiting uncomfortably for a reaction, I decided to push forward.

“I know this doesn’t make much sense, but please believe me. That day at the bus, a strange coincidence trapped our souls here, but we can go back. That is why destiny brought us together, so we can go back.”

I got too emotional and dropped the hardest part of the story without noticing it.

“What do you mean? Who are you? Why are you saying all of this out of blue? Why did you keep quiet until now?”

She reacted as I have expected, with anger and distrust.

“I didn’t want the Mothers to find out and I also wanted to make sure you were a human too. The reason I know about this is because I encountered someone from our world the day before the ceremony. She showed me truth and that there was another one of us inside the village. Please you have to trust me, why would I lie or how can I even know about the accident.”

“Then why are we here? You cannot just tell me we can go back after twenty years.”

“I do not know how this other world came to be, but what I know is that, thanks to a spiritual portal between the two worlds, ours souls got sucked in here after we almost died in the accident. The person I encountered went back in the same way, when she died here after thirty years she woke up back in our world and less than a few years had passed there. She proved everything showing me her memories.”

Nadya got away from me violently and for a moment made me think she was about to run back to the sacred forest. She stood there firmly, looking at me with contempt.

“It’s weird. What you are saying doesn’t make sense. Do you want me to just die here in hopes of waking up back home? What if it does not work, what if our body was destroyed in the crash, what if the same twenty years have passed there.”

“I know, I had the same questions but I saw it in her memories, she died and appeared back on earth like nothing had happened.”

“How do I know if that person even exist?”

“Don’t you want to go back!”

I finally lost my nerves, I thought I would be prepared for this, but I was not. Deep inside me, I was expecting Nadya to accept the truth in order to accept it myself.

“I want, but how do expect me to trust you if you haven’t even told me your real name!”

I knew I could not escape this part. If I say my name, she would probably distrust me even more. The mistakes I made at home still haunt me.

“I-I am Haruka.”

I told a pathetic lie and immediately saw Nadya’s face going pale and her lips twisting into a smirk.

“Lies.”

She screamed.

“You could not have come up with a worst lie. I at least know you really are from Saint Mary, but you cannot be Haruka. I do not know who you are, but I am Yukino. There is no way Haruka wouldn’t have jumped into my arms the moment she saw me, I made sure to look exactly the way she liked, to act the way she liked. Even in this body, I wanted her to look at me.”

I made a fatal mistake and could only remain quiet while the girl in front of me fell apart. Even after twenty years, I have not changed a bit.

“I don’t care who you are, but now I am sure you don’t care about me either. You probably did not know, but I was horrible person to Haruka, I knew how much she loved me, but I never rejected nor accepted her, I just kept her hanging, giving only the smallest amount of love back so she would stay by my side. I hated that academy and I hated being alone, so I kept Haruka to myself, like a pet.”

She was right, I did not notice any of this, and I did not care about her while she was in the academy. She was just another student among many of them.

“You know, I have been thinking about this my whole life. That this is my punishment for being so selfish back then.”

“Then let’s go back, maybe Haruka is waiting for you there!”

I must be desperate, to try to manipulate her like this.

“And what if she is here? I once wishfully thought that maybe there were other humans in this world, trapped in this hell. Now that you appeared before me, I am sure there are and I plan to look for Haruka.”

“You don’t know if she is here, how would you look for her, it would take you a lifetime! There might be people waiting for you to return!”

Having the map back in my bag made me feel even more repulsed with my attitude. I cannot show it to her and make her go on a quest to find her. Her parents must be waiting for her to wake up. It is my responsibility to return her to them.

“Tell me, why didn’t you return the moment you heard the truth then?”

…

……

“I knew it. I would rather take my odds looking for her here than with a liar like you.”

The grass surrounding me started to glow and I could feel the earth shaking, it was a spell.

“I cannot believe, even for a moment, I considered you my savior.”

Before I could react, the spell activated and a small explosion sent my flying downhill. Tumbling dawn the field and smashing my body against different rocks. When I finally stopped at the base and regained my composure, Yukino was no longer at the top.

She ran back into the forest.

I made a mistake and, like always, failed to understand the other person. I did not return because I was not sure myself, I was afraid. I do not have a place there any more than I have one here. As all this things plague my mind, I began running back uphill.

If I do not find Yukino, the Mothers will.

When I finally arrived back at the top of the hill, Yukino was no longer near the area. Only our things remained at the base of the tree where we camped for the night. I focused trying to perceive the trace of mana she left behind and it appears to be stronger towards the east side of the sacred forest. This meant two things; one, she left without potions, food or any kind of equipment and two, she was running in the wrong direction.

If Yukino continued running towards the east side, she would eventually encounter the rocky patch that connects the base of Mount Krel with the sacred forest. That place is incredibly dangerous and difficult to cross, but I expect her to notice the difference in the terrain from what we have seen so far before getting all the way there.

While analyzing the situation I started to pick up our bags. From what I can gather, there is a chance that Yukino will return to this place once she notices she is going in the wrong direction, although she could also choose to run deeper into forest towards the opposite side; which means I can intercept her before she reaches Lake Gandr or just wait here. My strategy was clear then, if I wait here and she continues into the forest, I will no longer be able to catch her, but if I wait for her at the lake and she returns here, I can just look for her inside the city later. I finished packing everything and made my way back into the forest.

The only thing worrying me now is what to do once I find her, she does no longer trust me and she can easily beat me using any spell. Convincing her to return home is out the question now, I just want to stop her from going back into the village as who knows how the elves would react if they find out the truth. The best plan I could come up with is to take her with Jane, there she could show her the same things as me and then we could decide together our next plan, tough I do not know how long it would take us to find her.

My legs hurt and I am out of breath, lost in my thoughts I have been running for almost an hour. It took us one day to arrive from Lake Gandr to the plain, but that was because we were walking normally and stopping every few minutes, if I run nonstop I will reach it in a couple of hours.

“Damn…”

I slipped thanks to the muddy terrain and fell scrapping my knee. Lying on the ground, I notice several patches of crow mushrooms growing around me.

“Wait a minute…”

Suddenly an idea crossed my mind. Crow mushrooms are toxic to us if not treated correctly, just inhaling the fumes while making the potions would make you nauseous and disoriented. If I use the small puddles near the lake as cauldrons and fill them with the mushrooms, I could make this whole area a toxic trap. Once Yukino crosses it, she will inhale the toxic fumes and be too confused to use magic; then I can get close, offer an antidote and force her to listen to me once more. It was a scummy way of doing this, but I think anything is better than having to fight her.

I distributed the mushrooms inside each puddle, prepared a simple spell to heat the water in them and climbed a tree to wait for Yukino. If she does not arrive before the sun sets, I will have to trace her mana and find her again. I cannot imagine how Hunters follow an animal without using magic.

“What am I even doing?”

I reprimanded myself, unable to come up with a better plan.

After a couple of hours Yukino finally appeared. Her clothes were a little bit ragged and she looked completely exhausted. I activated the spell and covered my mouth and nose with a piece of cloth.

“I am sorry Yukino.”

The fumes raising from the mushrooms slowly clouded the forest and covered the whole place. Maybe she was too tired, but Yukino failed to notice the activation of the spells right away and now was standing confusedly at the center of the toxic cloud. After a few seconds, probably noticing the fumes were dangerous, she used a wind spell to disperse it.

“That won’t help.”

I screamed from the top of the tree. It was too late, the poison already entered her body. I could see her tumbling down and covering her mouth to prevent herself from puking.

“Even if you heal yourself, you would only ease the symptoms for a bit without neutralizing the poison.”

“What did you do, you sick monster.”

I stepped down from the tree and slowly walked towards her.

“It is not lethal, I have the antidote ready right here. I just need you to promise me you will listen to me.”

“I don’t need to listen to you. You can die alone if you want, I will go and look for the others.”

“Please, let’s go look for Jane together, the human who told me the truth. She can help us find the others.”

“Liar!”

Yukino screamed with anger and sent several magic projectiles my way. Due to the effects of the poison, the projectiles were weak and none of them managed to hit me; however, they still scared me and I quickly stepped back. I underestimated her abilities, even under the effects of the mushrooms, she could still concentrate enough to cast spells.

“I didn’t want to say this because I am not exactly sure they came from the academy, but there are five other humans in this world. We can look for them together after speaking with Jane.

“You have no intention of looking for them… ugh…”

She violently puked and dropped to her knees, barely supporting her upper body with both hands.

“Yukino!”

I instinctively rushed towards her and kneeled to hold her by the shoulders.

“Get off of me!”

“Please just take the antidote. I am sorry, I just wanted you to return home. I had a responsibility with your parents! If you talk with Jane you will understand, we don’t need to continue suffering here!”

“Shut up, you selfish bitch!”

An intense pain covered my abdomen. I certainly deserve this. I lowered my guard for moment and Yukino took the opportunity to grab the small knife from my belt and stab me.

“You will not stop me now that I know Haruka is here!”

The confusion and pain from the poison only made her anger towards me grow and she once again fired the barrage of projectiles. This time they were weaker, but I was too close and received a direct impact, only being able to cover my face and use my bag to shield me from them. My things flew all over the place and I was left lying into ground, bleeding from the side of my stomach.

“I don’t care what happens to me, but if you insist to stay on my way I will destroy you.”

Using what little strength remained into her body, Yukino slowly stood up and extended her hand towards me, preparing one last attack with everything she has. She was serious; maybe it was the confusion caused by the mushrooms or maybe she did not know what would happen if she kills me, but her eyes showed pure determination.

This is for the best.

This is the best outcome.

She will spare a coward like me the pain to make a decision and commit suicide. If she does not take the antidote, she will lose consciousness eventually and the beasts of the forest will devour her at night. We both will wake up at our world tomorrow.

Yet…

Once I was faced with death…

“Ugh… blegh… “

I could not give up.

Using mana to control one of the arrows laying closer to Yukino, I pierced her throat. A clean shot. Blood spattered the floor and clogged her mouth, not letting her speak any last words. After a few seconds, which lasted for an eternity because of the horrendous sounds she made while trying to scream, she finally fell into ground. Her motionless body resting in front of me.

“Yu… kino.”

I was shocked.

I could feel the strength leaving my body and see my hands slowly losing its bright, pure color, turning grey almost as if I was the corpse.

I have fallen.

I tried to heal Yukino desperately, nothing happened.

I removed the knife from my abdomen and tried to heal myself but, once again, nothing happened.

“It was true, I have lost my divine mana.”

In front of me, Yukino’s body reminded me of what I have done. I killed her; there is no turning back now. Several bottles lie on the ground, the potions I was carrying, two of them containing enough basilisk venom to kill me in an instant. However, the question I cannot answer still bothers me, because I knew the answer but refused to accept it.

Why didn’t I return?

Why did I keep the map?

Why did I lie to Yukino?

I, instead of taking the venom, drink a healing potion, pack my things as fast as I can and move Yukino’s body behind some bushes.

I cannot go back yet, I have a responsibility to find my students and I will not fail them again. For them, and for the people waiting for them, I shall look into every corner of this world and bring them back, even as a dark elf.