I slept in, and scrambled to get my things together and out of the door. I had never been late for class, even though I did not think it particularly mattered. I really wanted to be studious and be the best mathematics student possible, but after a few hurried steps on the streets, I felt fatigued, and decided to take it easy. Contemplating what had happened the previous day was still considered study, so I thought about it all the way to the university.

“Big night?” Clarrie whispered as I sidled up next to her.

“You could say that.”

Clarrie offered me a biscuit from her bag. I accepted graciously.

I put my notebook on the desk, and placed my palms on top if it. Mr Hatter spoke about interviewing university staff from other departments as a way of broadening our research, before narrowing focus again with a fresh view. I closed my eyes and allowed the names he mentioned to wash over me, as the information from my notebook passed into my palms and through my body. The energy from my notebook sent cool waves through me, which energised me enough to take a bite of Clarrie’s biscuit. The almond crunch with sweet currant bursts made my heart sing.

I whispered to Clarrie, “Josh is playing at Good Vibrations at lunch again today. Want to come?”

“Sure!” she whispered in return, “But… what is happening with you two? I don’t want to interrupt.”

“Come,” I replied. I really needed to calm down the energy so I could concentrate.

For the first time since becoming a student, I did not take notes, even in my unusual way of drawing. My mind could not seem to make sense of things. I forgot why I was here in the first place. And for the first time, I wondered if a life on the road and on the run would have been an easier choice than expecting my brain to organise its thoughts with an academic methodology. My shallow breathing felt more hurried than usual, and in the haze of flying thoughts I didn’t notice that class had finished.

“Do you want to go to the cafe now?” Clarrie snapped me back into the present.

“Uh… yes,” I looked up. “Yes.”

As I passed Mr Hatter at the door, I asked if I could make an appointment to speak with him privately about my work. We decided after lunch break. It felt a bit too soon for me to gather my thoughts, but I as could not even remember what I initially said I was researching, I knew I needed to talk sooner rather than later.

Clarrie and I arrived at Good Vibrations, which was not as busy as the previous day. No music was playing yet, so we walked to the back of the cafe to take a seat by the empty piano.

“Josh said he would be here today?” Clarrie asked.

“Yes. I guess he got held up. He’s working here too. At the university. Although he hasn’t started just yet. I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

A waiter came over and Clarrie ordered a lentil stew. Both my head and my stomach felt empty, but food wasn’t enticing, so I ordered a vanilla milk to keep me going.

“Not hungry?” Clarrie asked.

“I don’t know.”

“You know Arca, it’s very normal to feel overwhelmed when you start at university.”

“I’ve been here a while now,” I protested. I thought there was more to it than that.

“It takes a few weeks, but not long after starting, most people realise they’re out of their depth. Everyone goes through panic moments. Multiple times.”

“Really?”

Clarrie nodded.

“What about you? You seem to have it so sorted. You know what you’re doing,” I said.

“I’ve been here for four years Arca, I’m on the home stretch. I can see the finish line. But for at least two years I couldn’t. Do you know, when I started, I thought I had it all sorted. I was going to study human touch, and the conduit of energy between us. I was going to present it to doctors. And then a couple of months into it, I decided to research the heart beats of as many animals as I could, and turn them into a symphony of sounds to heal the planet. I mean, how odd does that sound?”

I saw a glean in her expression that she was still excited by this concept. The healer within her was not ready to let this go.

“That doesn’t sound odd at all to me,” I encouraged.

“Yes, well, the concept wasn’t solid. What would the planet need healing from?”

I shrugged.

“I don’t know what I was thinking with that. Then I thought I wanted to be a teacher. So I studied mathematics methods and child psychology. But that didn’t last long. I am most definitely not a teacher.”

I was happy to hear I was not alone in my confusion.

“Everyone forgets why they came here. We spend most of our time trying to remember. Whenever we manage to get a grasp back onto our thing, whatever it is, we drastically try to reel it in so that we don’t lose it again. After a while you get better at remembering what you’re studying.”

I sighed.

Clarrie looked up at me as someone tapped on my shoulder.

It was Josh. “Can I leave my bag with you?”

Clarrie nodded and he went straight over to the piano.

“Look, we’re in the perfect place,” Clarrie said as some light high frequencies sparked the air. “Enjoy the music. Relax!”

I smiled. She was right.

Clarrie’s meal arrived with my vanilla milk. We didn’t need to talk. For the first time that day, I felt my lungs fully expand as they freely filled up with air. My shoulders softened as the music danced over me, washing away my confusion, washing away my thoughts. Soon the cafe noise was drowned out and there was nothing left but me and the swirling ribbons of sound that weaved their way through my heart.

I smiled.

Clarrie was smiling too.

The vanilla milk pulsed through my body in time with the music, warming me from the inside. Here in this cafe, with Josh shaping the atmosphere, we were in another world – free from worry, free from having to do anything, free to be in the moment.

The piano slowed down and I noticed how busy the cafe had become since we arrived. Everyone clapped when Josh finished. He got up and took a seat with us.

“That was incredible!” Clarrie said.

“Absolutely beautiful,” I agreed.

“Thank you,” Josh smiled.

“How long have you been playing piano?” Clarrie asked.

“I’ve always played. My grandfather used to build pianos, so we always had one or two in the house.”

“Your music really is so beautiful,” Clarrie said, “Why aren’t you working as a musician?”

“I’m a cosmologist,” he shrugged.

“But don’t you find it frustrating, when your playing is just… just… ” Clarrie searched for the right word, “magical?”

Josh laughed. “There really isn’t anything magical about it. I just grew up with it. It’s kind of like another language for me. Music is one of my languages!”

“Amazing,” Clarrie said.

“It really was amazing,” I chimed in. “This is just what I needed. Right now. Today. In my lunch break. Thank you.”

We bustled our way outside, and chatted our way back to the university. Clarrie went to the library, Josh went to set up his new laboratory, and I found myself knocking on Mr Hatter’s door again.

“Come in Arcadia,” he gestured to sit down. “How are you finding life here so far?”

“I love it. I really do. I love the atmosphere. I love the work. I love the research. I love the format of it all. It really is fantastic.”

“But you just don’t know if you’re suited to this work.” It was a statement rather than a question. I got the feeling he’d had this conversation many times before.

I sighed.

“This work is not for everyone, Arcadia. You’ve got the intelligence, but have you got the commitment?”

I had the commitment to not live life on the run. I had the commitment to leave Mr Bishop. I had the commitment to put magic behind me. My legs felt weak when asked if I had the commitment to do this work.

“How is your research going, Arcadia? Do you want to share some of your findings?”

“Sure,” I said, and pulled out my notebook. “The problem is… I see too much. Do you see this?” I pointed at the diagram of Josh from the previous night. “I see the human frequency. I see what people emit, and I see how everything is related. Everything! It’s getting to be too much.”

Mr Hatter took my notebook and went through each page at his own steady pace.

I wanted to know what he was thinking, but I dare not use my magic here.

“I see,” he paused for a moment. “Arcadia, do you know much about quantum mathematics?”

I didn’t know whether to be offended or intrigued about what he was suggesting.

“You see,” he said, “I’ve seen this before. In the basement.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you been to the basement of the library?”

I shook my head.

“Come with me.”

I followed his brisk stride to the library. At the back of the ground level, there were some stairs I had never noticed. We walked down into the dark. I heard a fumble and Mr Hatter switched on the light.

It was a small room with two bookshelves, and a couple of chairs at a desk.

“Welcome to the basement,” he said. “These books don’t get used very often.”

Upon closer inspection, I saw the books were old and worn.

“I know there is a substantial quantum mathematics section upstairs, but what you’re looking at is covered here. You will want to read everything on these shelves.”

I didn’t know what to say. The enormity of what I had been working on had just increased in size.

“Tell me Arcadia, what are you thinking now?”

I took a big breath. “I just don’t know what to do with all this information.”

“You will after you read the basement books.”

“And what about how to deliver my findings? I know that early education is key. This is where the information needs to be. In the hands of the children.”

“Of course. You’re right. But you won’t need to think about that just yet. Your main problem will be to work out what information is to be delivered. You can’t hand feed these books to children or their teachers. Your job is to decide what information is most important, and what most urgently needs to reach the new generation.”

I nodded. “Got it.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” With that, Mr Hatter walked upstairs.

I tilted my head to read the titles on the spines of each book. Some books appeared to be in other languages. Few referenced direct mathematics. They were more about geometrics, relativity, and alchemy. It was beginning to feel like I had just walked into the field of magic.

There was nothing else for me to do, but pull the first book from the shelf and start reading.

It was heavy going, and I could not begin to guess how many months, if not years, it might take to get through all the basement books, but I could feel in my bones just how close to magic this really was.

I was three quarters of the way through the first book and feeling fatigued. It was time to get home for some rest so I could return fresh the next day.

I switched off the light as I walked up the stairs. It was already dark outside. I had no idea how long I had spent in the basement, but it was clearly getting late, so I wanted to walk straight home.

The air felt unusually crisp, and I shivered as I walked. The streets were quiet and all I could hear were my footsteps echoing off the buildings. I hurried home and locked the door. I lit a fire in the living room, and cooked a bowl of pasta with tomatoes, spinach, basil, and pine nuts. I did not know what to make of the basement books or what I was reading in them, but could feel a pulse through my body that told me this was incredibly important information I needed to get through so I could to take it to the people – to the world.

I slept well, and instead of going to class in the morning, I went straight back to the basement.

I finished the first book, and started on the second. It was the basis of pure mathematics as I saw it right in front my very eyes. The law of relativity, vibration, rhythm, light, and more. From what I could gather, all the information before me was on the laws of magic. Although I was only onto the second book of at least two hundred, I was feeling lighter with each chapter. Everything made perfect sense, and rather than worry about what I, Arcadia Guzmata, former magician, was doing trying to pass as a mathematics student, I could simply enjoy reading books about the fabric of life. And the fabric of this life, at this point, was pretty good.

When my body started to fatigue, I stepped outside to breathe in the fresh air. The sun was high in the sky. I could either have lunch on campus for free, or go to Good Vibrations to see if Josh was there. I went to Good Vibrations.

I could see and feel the waves of musical vibrations as I approached the cafe and knew that Josh was already in there playing. After reading in the basement, I understood what these waves were, and smiled to myself as I walked inside. As usual, the music drew a good crowd. There were no spare seats so I ordered a coffee to take away, and felt the piano weave through my heart as I waited. My legs felt light, almost as if they would float if they could. When I closed my eyes, Josh’s music made everything feel like bliss.

“Arcadia!”

I jumped when my name was called. My coffee was ready. My heart was racing as I realised no one had yelled my name like that since I left Mr Bishop. Shaking, I carried it to the back of the cafe and leant against the wall until Josh finished his set.

We walked back to the university together, and arranged to meet at my cottage for dinner.