I woke up with the birds, just before sunrise. I was under a willow tree, where I was partially hidden by the loose branches. I opened the leafy curtains to the manicured lawn in a park on a hill. I could see the university and town down below, and there was a calm clear lake next to me. I decided to take a swim in my underwear to freshen up. Being a warm morning, there were a few other swimmers enjoying the fresh start to the day. I felt the sun strong on my face once it rose above the horizon, and I took this as a sign to come back to land and dry off. I sat on the grass, watching the town get busy. Plenty of people were heading towards the university, which gave me my cue to pick up my bag and head in the same direction as them.

Butterflies filled my stomach as I walked up the light grey set of stairs to the front door of the administration building. I opened the door and walked up to the reception desk.

A lady with light brown hair looked up at me. “Can I help you?”

This was it. “Yes. I’ve just arrived in town. I would like to speak to Mr Hatter. I am interested in studying mathematics here.”

“Just one moment,” she said, and walked out of her office to where I imagined the brains of the university existed.

I noticed my hands were shaking and I was feeling cold. Was it cold in here? Or was reality unfolding uncomfortably fast?

The lady returned.

“Mr Hatter is teaching at the moment, but I can make an appointment for you after this morning’s class. Would that suit you?”

“Yes please,” I said.

I had nothing better to do, so after confirming the appointment, I got a map of the university and made myself familiar with the buildings. Dunkel University specialised in mathematics, physics, cosmology, and music. The buildings for each department circled the libraries and cafes. I went into the mathematics library, which was large enough to spread out over two levels. I had no idea that mathematics was studied and published in such great volume. I found a directory specifying where to find the sections for applied mathematics, business mathematics, cosmological mathematics, history of mathematics, human mathematics, musical mathematics, natural mathematics, philosophy of mathematics, pure mathematics, quantum mathematics, and technical mathematics. Each section had subsections. I felt myself sinking. This was no place for a magician.

I found the quantum mathematics section, which was filled with books, ancient and new. I pulled out a couple, and then went to the section for philosophy of mathematics. I thought it might be interesting, so I pulled out a couple of books from there too. I sat down at a desk and laid out each book in front of me, opened to a random page. Quantum mathematics made no sense to me. Philosophy was interesting reading. Although I had put magic behind me, I considered placing my hands over the books, effectively mind reading them. I knew I would be able to understand them if they came to me in concepts and images. I had to get into this university. It was my way out of my old life. Perhaps, if I used magic, just this once, I would be accepted into university, and then everything would turn out fine. I would quit magic then.

I brought one of the quantum books, Mathematics of the Mind – Analysis and Functionality by C.J. Worcester, closest to me. With the book closed, I laid my hands face down on the book cover. A rush of concepts, images, equations, theories, and lessons flew into me. It all made sense. I could give a brief summary. It was very interesting, and perhaps I could impress Mr Hatter with this knowledge. I repeated the exercise with the other three books. I understood everything, in my own way, which was different to the traditionally dry terminology and concepts.

I returned the books to their shelves and wandered outside to sit in the sun and take in the atmosphere of student life. It was a beautiful environment. The students were bright eyed. The majority were studying in their natural gifted areas, all absorbing so much information, and putting it into practice, designing and creating, and nurturing their gifts in such a way that as they flourish, so too does the world. What an incredible place. And here I was, a lone magician, sitting on a bench, hoping to become one of them.

Mr Hatter’s class would be finishing soon, so I navigated to Building M, level 6, room 01. After experiencing the library’s extensive mathematics catalogue, I was not surprised to discover there were 6 levels in the mathematics building. It was exciting and fascinating.

I knocked on the door. No answer. I stood there, my legs beginning to feel heavy from my travels. This heaviness was telling me they were done with life on the run, and perhaps they had already begun planting roots in this town. I took a big breath and knew that this was my new home. I looked down at my feet. They were already relaxing in their new home.

Light footsteps coming towards me prompted me to look up. A short older man with a bald head, long wispy hair fluffed out at the sides, and thin square glasses, was walking towards me.

“Arcadia Guzmata?” he asked as he was opening the office door.

“Yes,” I nodded, “Mr Hatter?”

“Yes yes, come in.” He ushered me in. “Take a seat,” he said as he pulled out a chair.

I sat down.

“Now… How can I help you?”

“Thank you for making time to see me, Mr Hatter. I would like to study mathematics. Quantum mathematics. I would like to study here with you. Is this possible?” I had not planned what to say, and I feared it sounded uncertain and uneducated. I had no idea how these things should work. Part of me felt desperate to hurry up and find accommodation, and I knew that if I had enrolment organised, I could get the rest of my life organised too. Suddenly this felt less like wanting to do something productive with my life, and more about simply trying to survive it.

“Tell me what you want to do, Arcadia. Why quantum mathematics? What’s so special about it? Why here? Why me? What do you want?” he asked, very kindly, to me, the completely unprepared potential student, who had only ever worked as an apprentice magician.

Words failed me. If I used my magic just this once, I would know the right thing to say. I looked into his eyes and saw kindness and sincerity. Behind that I saw that he was very selective, and only accepted innovative students to his faculty. Thinking differently would advance the mathematics program. I could think differently. I did think differently. But would my variation of difference be the right one? He wanted people who could advance society at large, not just the university. He had no specific ideas in mind. If he did, I could have latched onto one of those. But without specific direction, I felt the freedom of choice too much. I had no option but to let the words pour out of me. I would omit all magic, but I would let the rest flow.

“Well, this seems very ambiguous, but I think in concepts and connection. I can see the connection humans have to the land, to the cosmos, to the harmonies of our interactions. The threads of geometry that run through us, causing us to live and breathe and think and speak and act and do – they’re all connected. I am verbally responding to you, and these soundwaves enter your body, not just your ears. You hear it all and respond to it all throughout your whole body, causing you to think about what you hear and how you respond, and the imagery and concepts that run through your mind produce the frequencies that are then returned back to me and the air and the earth and the cosmos at large. But before we got to this point, I was affected by your presence. Your very existence sent frequencies through me from the time I bumped into someone who mentioned you, who still had your frequencies running through him. But before that, we were all still vibrating, still sending out cosmic geometric waves of thought and action. I can see all this. I can feel it. I can explain it my way. But to be honest with you, I’m not particularly technical. I think in grand concepts. The details are minor. If I can study well, if I can learn from you, if I can be under the supervision of a master like you, I can notate the mathematical equations. I can get it all down in book form. I can explain it to the rest of the world. And we can use these formulae for better technologies, wiser impact and movement, and accelerate our existence.”

“Yes, yes, good thinking young girl, but this has all been recorded before. Go to the library here and you will find this knowledge sprinkled through all the books. This is nothing new.”

I sunk. I did not understand the details of all this. Surely the governments and councils would need to understand it as much as I needed to right now?

“OK. I feel silly for even describing it. But I don’t know the details. There are many others who do not comprehend the details. Who needs this information in an easily understood fashion? Governments, explorers, farmers, children in schools. If we keep this information locked up in complicated books in university libraries that few people have access to, we are not doing anyone any favours. I can bring this information to the masses. I am a simple girl. I think simply. I can translate it in simple language. I can have the effect of a giant wave of information. Although technically this is not possible,” I side-tracked, “as our frequencies are all in a more constant flow, and the method of reaching a wide audience with this will of course be at the same pace as me gathering and condensing the information. You know what I mean.”

“I understand. Yes, this is very important. We do a lot of work here in the universities, and we house a lot of knowledge that could be implemented by the greater population.” He pushed his glasses higher up his nose. “When can you join us?”

A huge grin overtook my face. “Today!” I said, just a little too loudly.

“Welcome to Dunkel University, Arcadia Guzmata,” he said, and we shook hands.

We walked to the administration building and he informed the enrolments manager of my new student status.

“I will see you tomorrow morning, Arcadia,” he said as he bid farewell and left me there to manage my enrolment.

I was happy to find out that the university paid a small wage to students to cover costs for housing and other expenses. This is exactly what I needed. After completing a lot of paperwork to organise enrolment and my wage, I walked back into town to find a real estate agent. Being a university town, there were plenty of agents offering accommodation near and far, big and small. Since I was used to traveling with few possessions, I did not need a large place. I wanted to be close to the university, and somewhere quiet because noises still bothered me. What I really needed was a place that felt safe and secure.

Late in the afternoon I signed a lease on a small furnished cottage on a quiet street that was five minutes’ walk from the university. It had a courtyard out the back, and notably, several locks on the doors. I moved in straight away. I put my bag in my room, and unpacked my small collection of clothes, my notebook and pencil, and put my pillow on the bed. I lay down and stared up at my very own ceiling. Bliss. And yet, the hairs on my arms stood up on alert. Was Mr Bishop searching for me? Was he in Jonton looking for me? Did he have contacts in the region looking for me? The walls of my small cottage closed in on me, so I got up, and went into town. If I kept moving, I would feel like I was still traveling further away from him. Besides, I had to go shopping.

Big streets and hidden laneways intersected between tall and small buildings catering to the diverse needs of this large town. I found a stationery shop and purchased a new notebook and pencil. I found a homewares shop and purchased a pot, a pan, a plate, a mug, and a spoon, fork, and knife. I could get more later, but this was all I needed to get started. Then I found a grocer and bought enough ingredients to see me through a couple of days. I brought everything back and put it all away in its new home. In my new home.

I got a start on making some bread, but while waiting for it to rise, I felt listless. I was used to being on the run or needing to go to meetings or do a show. This open expanse of time was too foreign for me to feel comfortable. If I was out of the house, I felt occupied. So I took my old notebook and pencil outside to a small park at the end of my street, and wrote a list.

Mathematics.

Bringing quantum theories into practical application for society.

Plates, bowls, cups, cutlery, sharp knives, kettle, trays.

Useful pantry food.

Fruit, veg.

Fresh clothes.

Scissors.

Protection from Mr B.

No M.

Hastily, I closed my notebook and took it back home. I had some time before my bread needed proofing, so I walked back to the stationery shop to buy the sharpest pair of scissors I could find.

Back home, as the bread was proofing, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, holding my pigtails with one hand, and cutting them short with the other. I straightened up the ends, and stared at the fresh face before me. I did not look younger or older, but I did look wiser. Here I was standing, Arcadia Guzmata, mathematician, student, a young woman with short messy hair. I sighed, unsure if I felt happy about this. More than anything, I was relieved.

I finished baking bread rolls, and had a warm roll with tomato and coriander for dinner. I managed half a cup of tea before my eyes felt heavy from the day. I laid down in bed for a restless night.