I woke up early feeling refreshed, and ready for a matinee show. A light breakfast of stewed plums and coffee was all I needed before getting ready to set up for the show. I began with some easy movement and stretching. I liked to feel nimble, mobile, and strong in my body, so that I would also feel nimble, mobile, and strong in my mind. Although it took no effort for me to do my job in shows, I liked to be quick thinking and witty so that I was not just doing a job, but performing a show. More important than that, this would be my last show ever. I needed to be clear in mind and body so that I could clearly articulate my intentions to Mr Bishop.

This was a lunch time show, with snacks and drinks served afterwards. These were always good shows because Mr Bishop hung around afterwards mingling with the audience. I was not permitted to spend too much time there, in case I said the wrong things. This suited me fine so I could get away from the action, and be by myself for a while. I couldn’t decide if I should tell Mr Bishop my plans before or after the show. If I told him first, would the show go ahead? If I waited until afterwards, would he try to prevent me from leaving? I decided it would be best to tell him immediately before the show. Then I could discreetly leave while he would be mingling with the audience, avoiding any confrontation. I continued stretching my limbs and muscles as I mulled over the right phrasing of words. If I could get these words into my body, I would feel confident in them.

I found Mr Bishop backstage, and told him I had something to say to him.

“Alright, alright, what is it Arcadia?” He sounded distracted and hurried.

“Can you just sit down for a minute? I really want to take a moment for this.” I knew I had to do this with grace and honour.

“Did you know Miss Berry left some books for you at the cottage, Arca?” he suddenly asked. I had no idea.

“Uhh no. What were they?” I looked into his eyes and saw they were on quantum mathematics. He thought Miss Berry was trying to coerce me into something.

“Oh, nothing. Just some text books,” he said, “But we really can’t have those around the place. You don’t want to be reading that sort of nonsense. You need to focus on your gifts and work with who you really are, OK? Stay focused, Arca. Be a good magician. Do that for me, OK?”

“Sure,” I said, knowing that he was too worked up to think calmly enough for the discussion I wanted to have.

I felt deflated. This would absolutely definitely without a doubt be my last show. Ever.