“I meet a dealer that had something new to offer. He said that it was HM, Isn’t that the drug you produce and sell? I got a little of it and send it to you. If it’s the same thing I hope you find how it has got out on the street.

There will be no need for you to search for me. I won’t come back for a while.

Kiss Lapin”

It could have been a beautiful day.

Ellen was drinking her coffee alone in the kitchen again. Alice got help from Lilly to both make sure that the production of HM stopped and to talk with the doctors they were sending it to.

It had been wonderful the day when they didn’t have to produce it at home anymore, and instead so had they let some trustworthy people do it for them. Trusted by Lilly and some others, it wasn’t worth much in the end. Was it?

The powder that they had got turned out to be the exact same thing as HM, of course so had they found it out after closer inspection by Lilly with some help of alchemist. It was HM that apparently had leaked out at the street somehow. It could either be a doctor or one of those that had produced it that could have leaked it. But anyway so was it still really bad.

Why did always had to go bad for this family? First Jack got set up, then Alice lost all her emotions. Lapin got into something strange and didn’t want to be found, and now this?

If it exists something of a supernatural nature, it truly had to hate this family.

Someone was knocking at the door.

Since Lapin had written that she wouldn’t be back for a while so was Ellen sure at who it was.

“Good morning Jill, how can I help you today?”

“Do you have any coffee to share?”

Of everything that Jill could have said, so was that the first thing. Sure she was honest, but still. She could have started with asking about how things were turning out after they found out that the powder really was HM.

Ellen let her in and they went to the kitchen where she poured up some coffee for her.

“So, is there anything else than coffee that you have on your mind?” She had just handed Jill the cup and returned to her own coffee at her side of the table.

“Yes. I started to think about one thing yesterday that I have to ask?”

“Have you got your artificial parts examined since the last time at Chris’s place?”

No? She hadn’t, was it already time for that? Shouldn’t they be checked twice to three times every year? Ellen was so far away from the right answer she could get. Even a so simple thing as an artificial arm should get examined every second month, but a heart or lungs should get examined once or twice every month. And that was still at the border to be too little.

Since Ellen hadn’t got her heart and lungs examined since the last time at Chris’s place, so was they deciding to do it. After they had finished their coffee of course.

“So where is your little sister?”

“She`s with Lilly and visiting the doctors we have sent the drug to. Trying to find out if they know how it has leaked to the streets.”

Did Jill even care?

“So she’s out with miss Lilium?”

Jill smiled mischievously upon hearing Lilly’s name. She didn’t seem to have learned anything from Lilly’s revenge. Ellen still found it hard to believe that Jill had been acting like that toward Lilly once in the time. But it was only proving two things. One, Jill could be a horrible person if she put that side out. Two, she was older than what Ellen first had thought. Wonder just how old Jill was, she looked to be the around the same age as Ellen but apparently she wasn’t. It would be rude to ask her about her age, right?

Ellen had stripped her upper body and laid at her stomach in her bed. As Jill had said, it had to be much more comfortable than the table in Ellen’s workshop. Which of course Ellen couldn’t deny and was glad that Jill had thought that far for her sake.

The only thing that was bothering her about laying on the bed like that, was that it reminded her of the night she spent with Lapin. Easily said, a big mistake from her side. Even if Lapin had been pushy, so was it mostly Ellen’s fault for accepting it from the beginning. Not to mention that she hadn’t told Lapin to stop.

“So how have things been doing since I left, have I… missed anything?”

Jill talked in a curious tone, but did hold up in the middle of it to force the lid open. Maybe Jill had a point when she said that Ellen’s parts should be examined more often. Even if it wouldn’t be much of a difference between the times it happened, so would at least the lid not be stuck as it was now.

“It hasn’t happened much since you left. Alice bought the house, I did install all the gears. A girl moved in and lived here until recently.”

It had been feeling like it happened much, but thinking about it. There wasn’t much that did happen, at least not that Jill could find interesting. Of course Ellen could… Maybe she could ask Jill how she would do with Jack. She hadn’t got the courage to try finding him since the horrible thing she did to him in the other city. Maybe Jill could give her some good advice about what she should do.

“Can I ask for some advice?”

Jill was really one of the few that Ellen could talk openly with, in differences to many others. Sure she was still worried about the result, but it was better than don’t have anyone to talk with at all.

Ellen carefully explained that she had been dating Jack, leaving out the fact that he was her father. It was a fact that no one really needed to know about. She went on with how they had been leaving to have a date in another city, where he had tried to gently guide her to become an adult. But she had been a horrible person to decline his help and then punched him when he showed that he cared for her. Only so she could flee in shame, without making any attempts at all to contact him afterwards.

Jill listened carefully to Ellen story while examining the parts, making small sounds to show that she still was following.

“It all is looking fine.” She was done and closed the lid in Ellen’s back, almost as if she hadn’t listened to Ellen at all.

“So how often are you meeting him, and how often did you meet him before?”

To be honest, they hadn’t meet anything before Ellen started with Jack’s request with the automobile, and after the project was done. They hadn’t met at all, but that was Ellen’s fault alone.

“I see, and he hasn’t even tried to get in touch with you?”

No? But he was set up and forced to hide from guards, so it was a pain for him to move freely.

“Are you really the right person for him if he doesn’t even try to contact you, even though there might be things that are happening around him.”

“He is the right person. He has done nothing wrong. It has only been I that have done wrong this far while he has tried to help me and at the same time keeping a low profile.”

Jack had proven that he loved Ellen far to clear many times. It was Ellen that was the problem, even cheating at him with a girl. Taking the step that she couldn’t take with him, without any hints of hesitation and without even feeling guilty about it afterwards.

“It is nothing wrong by being afraid of taking the last step out in adulthood. It comes when you are ready.”

Sure, Jill could maybe have a point. But it seemed that she honestly didn’t care about the problem itself. Because it wasn’t her problem?

“I apologise that I don’t see it your way and that I am too lazy to pull my head out off my behind to see it your way.”

She must have noticed that Ellen wasn’t very pleased with the answer. Trying to make up for it by explaining why she didn’t look far too deep into it.

Alice looked out of the window in the carriage and let out a heavy sigh.

Why had everything gone so wrong? Would it have been better if they should have produced HM at home instead of getting help from others? Would it have been better if they shouldn’t have sent it to any doctor?

Luckily so had all the doctors shown no signs of being the one that sold it to the street, and even accepting the fact they shouldn’t get any more HM until the problem was solved. Which was the biggest and probably the hardest task for them to handle.

The doctor that had been the first one that they sent it to had advised them to sell the rights for HM to the state. Believing that it could help them solve the problem.

The forest area they passed through reminded Alice of the peaceful start in this world.

She had found herself being taken cared of by some kind people in a small village after they had found both her and Jack in the forest. She was still unsure of how she got there, but it didn’t matter since it was really wonderful people that found them while they were passed out. It could have been so much worse if the wrong kind of people found them.

Their life had been so calm and peaceful, but Alice still couldn’t find any spiritual rest there. Her beloved sister wasn’t there with her, so how could she really be relaxed or even happy back then. She was really lucky to have Jack as her father. Because of her selfish wish to be with her sister so did they moved to the city, where it could be easier for Jack to grand her wish. He worked harder than ever before and succeeded to revive Ellen. Granting Alice’s selfish wish, only for her sake.

“Miss Morfine, is it your first time outside the city?” Lilly tried to get Alice attention.

“No, it’s the second time.”

“Then I hope that you are fine that we sleep at a hotel tonight. We are only halfway home, and the night is about to fall.”

Alice didn’t saw any problem with that they should sleep at a hotel. It could after all be really dangerous to be out during the night. Only in the city, there were some roughs. So it was probably even worse here. Not to mention that there would be wild animals that could cause serious problems. If they should scare the horse that pulled the carriage, there was no way to know how it would end.

They had got lucky to get a driver that had been in the town before, knowing a place where they could get a room too a cheap price. Otherwise there could be a risk that they still would have been searching when the night arrived.

“Do you think it is a good idea to sell the right of HM to the state, as the doctor suggested?” Alice considered the idea, but it felt wrong to do it.

“Doctor Svensson? Yes, I think that it can be a good idea.”

Lilly poured up some wine in a glass and took a sip.

They had been eating dinner and was now in the twin room they had rented, with some wine that Lilly had picked for some “social drinking”.

“Why do you think it can be a good Lilly?”

“The state is greedier than you and have tools to stop potential threats of losing money. Even if they are forced to play dirty to get their hands at the responsible person.”

Wasn’t that meaning that they wouldn’t hesitate to set someone up to gain a bigger profit.

“Don`t that mean that they could trick you in different ways to take the whole profit?”

She thought that she had got a good reason to be worried, but Lilly could only see that as a try to make a bad joke. She couldn’t see that if it wasn’t that the one that sold it was playing very dirty.

“Are you thinking about mister Jack?”

Alice wasn’t thinking about him to start with, but would like to hear if Lilly had any information about him that she didn’t know.

Jack had started to make those crystals and sold it as medication, which was a reason that the state later on had bought it. Alice knew that he had created it and sold it as medication, but didn’t know that he sold the rights. According to rumours so had Jack continued to sell it, even though he had sold the rights to produce it. But it was there Lilly’s knowledge ended.

That could explain why he suddenly had started to earn so much money, he achieved it from two different ends. It could also explain why he had asked Ellen to help him make it stronger, which gave birth to the “Angel”. The crystals got stronger after Ellen was done with the machine. That could be a reason to why he ran away so shortly afterwards. The state had noticed his dirty play even more by then, since it became more obvious when people were affected. Therefore they tried to hunt him down and set a stop for what he was doing. Or at least it sounded like a good explanation and could be partly the truth about what he had been up to. Just like an explanation to why he all of sudden ran away.

Why did the sun have to shine so bright? Ellen had just woke up and sat in her bed, looking out the window.

Jill was sharing the bed with her. Had it become a bad habit of sharing her bed with other girls when she drank? Why had it ended like that, why had it started first after she did that horrible thing to him? More important, why was she only wearing her panties? It couldn’t have happened something again, right? Maybe it should be best if Ellen decided to never drink again, it couldn’t end like this every time.

“Good morning sister.” Without Ellen noticing so had Jill woke up, now also sitting up in the bed.

“Good morning, may I ask why we both are partly nude?”

Ellen noticed that at Jill wasn’t wearing anything, at least not at her upper body. There was no way that she would look at Jill’s lower body under the blanket to find out if she had any clothes at her lower body.

“I usually don’t wear anything else than panties while sleeping, and you didn’t want to wear anything. Saying it made you feel captured.”

Jill let out a big yawn and turned to Ellen and inspected her body.

“You have a beautiful body, even if you called it ugly yesterday. And didn’t want me to look at while you undressed.”

Ellen didn’t know what she should say. Sure she didn’t think she had a beautiful body, but why in the whole world had she expressed it like that. To no one less than a friend like Jill.

“We talked much yesterday until we did fall asleep. And there is a little of that I would like to talk with you about.”

“So I will go and make some coffee so we can drink and talk, so I hope you join soon.”

Jill got out of bed and dressed while taking, before leaving the room.

Ellen let out a sigh, wondering what she now had said while she was drunk. It couldn’t be bad. at least it didn’t seem like she had done something wrong this time.

Ellen got out of the bed and walked to the mirror, looking at her own disappointing reflection. Jill had to been trying to pull a lie. There was no way that anyone could find her beautiful, no one.

After getting her coffee she took her place on the other side of the table, looking serious at Jill.

“What did I say yesterday that you want to talk about?”

“You talked about that you were curious about travelling the world.”

So that was what Ellen had talked about, it had only been thoughts this far. But Jill was at least the right person to talk with about it.

“You know the world ain’t fit for everyone, right?”

Ellen could have found that out with her rear. She did her best to collect information and knowledge so she could handle whatever it threw at her.

“Good, but I won’t let you get out on a journey like that.” Jill sound dead serious and stared down Ellen. She really wasn’t thinking of allowing Ellen to do it, no matter if Ellen accepted it or not.

“Then what will I need to think about and learn that can make you change your mind? And accept that I will be exploring the world?”

It didn’t matter what Jill thought or if she allowed it or not. When it was time for Ellen to get out on the journey, she would go.

“It`s far too much to even being able to tell you about it.”

Well thanks, that did really help her. Now she knows exactly what to do.

“So what about that you follow me when I go on a journey?”

That sounded much better than if she would have gone herself. Jill could be her guide, not to mention that she would be some really good company.

“I would love to do that.”

“Good, then grab your money so will we start to prepare.”

Of course after the coffee.

Jill had taken Ellen to a couple of shops where she had bought a bag and a couple of other things. Ellen had asked Jill how long she possible could wait for Ellen, she still wasn’t sure about if she really would follow her at the journey yet. In worst case so would Ellen have to wait until next time that Jill came for a visit, which Ellen would do if it was necessary. Just as Jill had said so was it probably for the better that Ellen followed Jill, at least the first time.

Jack? Standing at the middle of the street and flirting with two women.

Ellen didn’t thoughts things through, forcing the things she holds on Jill and walked over to him.

“Can you please tell me what you are doing Jack?” Why was he flirting with them? Didn’t he already have Ellen? Hadn’t he only given her some space to calm down and think over her actions? He hadn’t dumped her, right?

“Ohh it’s you?”

The women looked wondering at her, probably wondering what she wanted. Which of, it was Ellen that should have been the one wondering about what they wanted. They were shamelessly clinging on to HER Jack.

“Pardon my disgusting daughter, my ladies. She is mentally sick and believes that she loves me.”

Disgusting, sick? Why did both he and the women looking disgusted at her? Why did they start to whisper spiteful words to each other, that they clearly knew Ellen could hear. Why?

“Yes, she is truly disgusting. She even tried to have her way with me, and tried to beat me when she failed.”

She did try to have her way? She didn’t. Sure she had beaten him, but it wasn’t because she didn’t get what she wanted. It wasn’t even what she wanted. She did want to spend that special time with him, but she was horrible and couldn’t right there.

Why did he have to tell them that, not to mention that he said it out loud so everyone could hear him? Why was everyone looking disgusted at her? Why did Jack treat her like that?

“I even had to use crystals to be able to endure her, truly a DISGRACE to our innocent family.”

Ellen didn’t know what to say or even act. Why did Jack act like that? Why had he gone from gentle and kind to THIS? She wanted to cry, she wanted to die all over again. Even that horrific void that she once spent time in the void would be better than this.

Jill walked up to Ellen, grabbing her shoulders and walked away with her, without even saying a word to Jack or those women.

“If that’s the man you loved… I don’t even know what to say.” Jill was seemed to try to find a way to comfort her, but it didn’t go well for her. Not that it really mattered, Ellen wouldn’t even be bothering herself listening to her. She wanted to fade away, she wanted to die. She wanted answers on what just had occurred.

Alice was running home from the clinic, as fast as she possibly could.

She needed to get home, NOW! Ellen had locked herself up in her workshop when Alice come home after the trip with Lilly. Alice hadn’t thought much about it since Ellen still come out to eat and then back into the workshop. It could have been a new project, and she still would have believed it. If it wasn’t because the last patient for the day had shared some information with her.

“Can you tell me just what is going on Ellen? Have you meet our useless and idiotic father?”

She threw up the door to Ellen’s workshop and cornered her sister. She needed to spite out her thoughts. Her inside was burning and needed to get it spat out at the one that deserved it.

Ellen’s eyes were red by crying, her whole body was shaking. She was afraid, she was uncomfortable.

“I haven’t met Jack.” It was a transparent lie, so easy to see straight through. Not to mention that she didn’t even want to look at Alice and tried to turn her whole body away from Alice.

Alice grabbed her sister’s shoulders and forced her to face Alice. There was no way that Alice could overlook this. She was disappointed at her sister, she had to make her understand that.

“You can’t be this stupid right? He has at least used you once. It has been so clear to see, so you can’t have missed it. The only time he has come to you is when he is in need of something. Both the time with the “angel” and the date. He only used you to fulfil his own disgusting desires!”

Alice could see how even Ellen had realised it. Her stupid sister was crying, but it didn’t matter.

She started to violently shake her sister, it needed to be done.

“I am really disappointed in you, I thought you were a really smart person. But I seem to have been so wrong. You are disappointing, even making sure to get rejected by “you beloved IDIOT” in the middle of the city.”

Alice didn’t stop shaken Ellen until Taija had arrived and grabbed her from behind, pulling Alice away from her sister. She had seen how Alice had reacted back in the clinic and decided to follow her.

“Can you please calm down a little Alice?” She asked while Alice was struggling to reach her sister again, she needed to get out her disappointment in her sister.

“Is it wrong to follow your heart?”

Ellen’s voice sounded like she had broke, plain and weak. She didn’t move her body at all after Alice had let go of her.

“In this case it’s, so you it’s only wrong “SISTER”.” It was hard to believe that they were sisters now when Ellen had done something like that. She was so much smarter than this, so why did she acted like this? Why hadn't she seen what Jack was out after? Couldn’t she have told her that she had got contact with that IDIOT again so that Alice could have kept an eye at her sister?

Taija had lead Alice to the kitchen and made some tea for both of them.

Alice had calmed down a little, she didn’t need to spit out more things at Ellen. At least for now.

“Alice, can you please tell me what is going on?”

Alice let out a heavy sigh, most of it was circulating in the city already. So could she as well tell her the truth before she heard the rumours that were circulating.

“To explain it simply, so have Ellen been in love with our father for a long time. He didn’t pay her any attention, except for when he wanted to use her for his own benefits.”

“The day you let us move into your mansion, he escaped the law because he had been producing a medication that he sold to the state. He only tried to get me to follow him and ignored Ellen, ready to leave her behind as if she didn’t matter and that he couldn't see her as a family member.”

Alice looked down at the table before letting out another heavy sigh.

“I thought that Ellen had noticed it and decided to go on with her life, without him. She didn’t even talk about him after he left, so I really did believe that. But it turned out to be wrong, and she did an ENORMOUS mistake. Too stupid for a smart person like her to do.”

Her thoughts were heavy. Almost crushing her mind. She couldn’t understand how someone smart as Ellen could do a mistake that stupid.

Taija let out a giggle, rise and walked behind Alice. Giving her a tight hug. “I don’t know if it will make you feel better. But love can make people do very, VERY stupid things. I am also guilty of doing that?”

It didn’t help at all, she still was disappointed in her stupid sister. Even if Taija also was guilty of doing the same thing.

“Did you know that it was I that asked Lilly to find reasons of why you shouldn’t trust Lapin?”

“Why did you do that?”

That was hard to believe that Taija had asked that of Lilly, just like that Ellen had done her mistake. Taija did seem like a very kind person.

“The little girl was getting to close to MY BELOVED Alice, and I even asked Lilly to go through with it when we found out that I and the girl had the same problem.”

That could explain why Taija had been avoiding Alice when she accepted Lapin anyway. Guilt because of it.

Beloved? That wasn’t anything that she needed to hear now. She had tried to avoid to think it since she remembered Taija expressing her feelings for Alice at the night of the celebration. Alice really didn’t need more to think about after all she already had to think about.

“Can you let me live here with my beloved and Ellen, at least until things calm down for you two.”

Taija might have good intentions with her question, even if it might be partly so she can get closer to Alice.

“I don’t think that will be a problem. That can maybe be good for both me and Ellen. But I might need to tell you one thing about the “beloved” part.”

It really could be good for both Alice and Ellen, or at least they could play dirty and “talk” through Taija. But for the other part, there was still some problems remaining. Taija claimed that she loved Alice, but there was no real way for Alice to give her a response if she loved Taija back. It couldn’t be possible to love someone if there were no emotions, right?

“So, have you been thinking about if you want to do the deal?”

Alice and Lilly were talking while drinking tea around the table at the clinic.

“Do you think it would be wrong if I make that decision on my own?”

Alice would love to have talked with Ellen about it, but it had been two days since Alice had lashed out at her sister. Which of course she did deserve after doing a stupid and obvious mistake like that. After Ellen had talked quite a lot with both Jill and Taija, she had started to join the meals again. But Alice and Ellen still didn’t talk to each other.

“I don’t think it would be wrong with that. You are after all an adult.”

Lilly seemed to be sure about her thing, and she had a point. Alice is an adult, she doesn’t have much experience but she was still an adult. She couldn’t anything that could help her with the deal. But she would have both Lilly and doctor Svensson by her side during the deal, making sure to help her get the best deal.

Alice decided that she wanted to do the deal, which now would be set in four days.

She and Taija were walking home from the clinic. It had been a horrible time lately, Lapin had left. HM had got out at the street and she had got into a fight with Ellen, which she wouldn’t forgive until she seriously apologised for doing a mistake like that. Alice was after all not the one that had done a mistake, so it really was Ellen’s fault.

Now She even needed to worry about the deal, which could end with her either winning or getting skinned alive.

“Are you thinking about the deal Alice?”

“Yes, how will we possibly know if we are getting tricked while doing the deal?”

Taija halted Alice and patted her on the head. “How do you know if you are getting tricked when you buy food at a stall?”

Alice understood Taija’s point. There was no chance of knowing it for sure. So it was only for them to keep their eyes open at the deal.

Taija had moved in with Alice, taking care of both Ellen and Alice.

Even accepting the fact that Alice had some problem giving a response to her love, according to the fact that she didn’t feel emotions. It was nothing that had bothered Taija at all. If Alice had problems to feel emotions, then there were surely other ways that could tell what she “felt”.

Taija sure had some high hopes about it.

Ellen could almost feel Jill’s breath in her neck, while she worked at a small thing in her workshop.

Ellen was grateful that Jill had been coming over daily since the day “THAT princess” overreacted. Really forced her into a corner and had been stomping at her, when she already was broken after how Jack treated her.

Her once beloved that really turned out to be nothing better than a turd. She had honestly been an idiot to believe in him, believing that he seriously loved her. But of course, how would anyone be able to love her when she looked like she did and was a horrible person like she was. It was clear now, she had always had a feeling of it. But the hope had been holding on to her.

She might need to thank Taija later on too. Ellen had got the possibility to ease her heart with both Taija and Jill’s help. But it was mostly thanks to Taija that she could handle the situation with Jack. She seemed to have more understanding of how loved worked, at least in differences from both Jill and “that princess”.

Jill blows her in the ear.

“You are not working.”

“Why must I work?”

Jill had started by keeping some distance from Ellen when she arrived first after the fight between Ellen and Alice. But she had come closer and closer with the time, now far to close.

“I find your project very interesting and inspiring. So I want to see more of it.”

Even though the small project wasn’t interesting, so was Jill somehow finding it interesting. It was only a small thing that would be something similar to a screw gun, which in the end turned out to be slightly harder than Ellen had thought. Yet she had some small ideas of how she should solve all the problems.

“By the way sister, are you still thinking about joining me for the journey?”

Did she even need to ask that? If She had been hesitating before, so was that then. Now she wasn’t even thinking about it, she had to follow her on the journey.

There was after all nothing that held her back anymore, not Jack, not “that princess”, nothing.