The sun was unforgiving strong and shined straight into Alice room.

She had just woke up and suffered a bad hangover. Not to mention that she had no memories of how she had got home, or how anyone else of them had come home. Because the other had also come home last day, hadn’t they?

Lapin at least seemed to have come home. Sharing the bed with Alice, all of sudden give her a tight hug from behind. Pulling Alice close to her, which happened from time to time during the mornings.

She had to get stronger, pulling Alice so easy toward her and pressing her whole chest against Alice’s back.

It first then it hit Alice that something was wrong. To start with so wasn’t Lapin that strong, neither her arms was that big. Not to mention that Lapin was flat as a board and bony, which wasn’t the case for however it was that hugged her from behind.

Alice did her best to move without waking the person up, facing whoever it was. Taija? Alice did share the bed with Taija?

She suddenly remembered that she had made up with her, solving all their problems and spending most of the evening talking.

Lilly had interrupted their talk once, to give Taija a kiss and wish her… good luck? Hadn’t Lilly after that been “playful” with Lapin, hopefully not by force. Which really shouldn’t be the case, Lapin herself proven herself to be “playful” from time to time. So Lapin shouldn’t have got forced to something like that, right? Lapin would have been able to set down her foot, right?

Wasn’t it unusual cold under that blanket?

Alice noticed that she didn’t have her usual sleeping clothes. She didn’t have anything else than her underwear? How could that be? She always wore a kind of clothes while sleeping, so didn’t she do it this time. And how could it be that Taija did seem to only wear her underwear? At least it felt like that when she pressed her body against Alice.

If it shouldn’t have been Taija that was sleeping beside her, she wouldn’t have hesitated to wake her up and ask what had happened. But Taija looked so happy and peaceful while sleeping for the moment, so it would have been wrong waking her up. Not to mention that it could be good for Alice to also get some more sleep to ease the horrible hangover.

Ellen sat in the kitchen and drank her usual morning coffee. On the other side of the table was Lapin sitting and drank some tea.

Ellen had shared her bed with Lapin and they had both woken up a little while earlier.

“You… are a… horrible person.” Ellen glared at the cat, that only responded with a mischievous smile.

“I asked you if I was allowed, and you were actin’ really cute and insecure.”

Ellen had woke up beside Lapin, NUDE. Both of them. She had weak memories of how Lapin had asked to “play” a little with “sister”, which Ellen had accepted as long it didn’t go too far. It hadn’t been that she was curious about to “play” with the cat, neither because she was curious about the more adult actions. It only happened. It did only happen since Ellen was wasted and stupid. And it was only some cuddling and skinship, nothing more. NOTHING MORE.

It did bother Ellen that she allowed it. Allowed it with a person that lived under the same roof as a family member and that she almost saw as a family member. Not to mention that it was a girl, a GIRL.

But what honestly bothered Ellen even more when she thought about it was that she hadn’t been able to take that step out in adulthood with Jack. The man she loved over everything else, the man she even had hit before fleeing like the pathetic and horrible child she was. Yet she could “cheat” at her beloved without feeling guilty about it. If it even could be called cheating with a girl, on only that level.

All she felt was confusion because she spent that night with Lapin in that way. No guilt, not feeling bad for jack about it. Only confusion.

“And you did enjoy it.”

Lapin only had to try pouring salt in the wound, didn’t she?

“I am not so sure.” Ellen didn’t even look at Lapin. She felt too embarrassed to face her when she pointed that out.

She didn’t feel that she enjoyed that it happened, but she couldn’t say that she hated it. It wasn’t that she had liked it, but at the same time so had she liked to be close to someone. Someone that took care of her, someone that really wanted to take care of her. It was all a pain, even to barely thinking of.

“Don’t you want to talk about it?”

Before Ellen could answer so was Alice entering the room.

For being a “princess” so did she look awful. Must have been that she drank a LITTLE too much during the winter tree blossom celebration, which only was to express it lightly.

“What did happened yesterday?”

It really did seem like it had been a little too much for her, so she didn’t remember and had to ask while warming some water for tea.

“To start with so was you making up with Taija.” Alice probably knew that already, or she had found it out upon waking up beside her. At least so had the two of them decided to share bed last night, but of course so could Taija have changed her mind.

“But you didn’t make out.”

“We left that for you and Lilly.” Taija entered the kitchen and answered Lapin’s bad joke, making the cat smile shyly and blush.

Ellen remembered that the cat and Lilly all if sudden had started to kiss, of course to the guys liking.

“She also stole a kiss from Angela.” Ellen just had to point that out for Alice.

“How did the poor girl took it?” Alice seemed to appreciate that Ellen told her and glared at Lapin while asking.

“She was a little upset, and would probably have beaten Lapin to a pulp at the spot. But after some talking so could we decide that I will bring Lapin to their shop today, so she can settle it there without too many people seeing it.”

The cat seemed to be both ashamed and a little worried about what should come.

“Please Lapin, learn something from this.” Alice sounded somehow like a mother. Which almost was surprising.

Chris and Lilly had once again expressed their love for Alice, just as wasted like last time. But it didn’t turn out in a fight this time. Not even when Thom made some small moves at Lapin. Which only resulted that most of the group gave him really spiteful glares. They all seemed to see the cat as a child, which of course she was. And that meant that no one of the guys could make any move at her without being a part of the world’s scum.

Alice offered Taija some tea and poured up for both of them before they left the room.

“Was miss Alice disliking that they expressed their love again, or was it that HE tried to make a move at me?” Lapin had made sure that Alice was out of reach for hearing her when she asked.

“Just by the way she reacted, so would I like to think it was that they did express their love.”

Ellen found Alice behaviour strange. “That princess” had never been disliking to be able to charm anyone before. Could it be that she had started to grow tired of it, or could it be that simple that Alice was about to grow up? Either way so did it still irritated Ellen that “the princess” could charm both males and females. If Ellen just could have got a little of that charm, she maybe could have been able to live happily with Jack a little earlier.

“Sister, did you hated the cuddle last night?” Lapin all of sudden seemed to be ashamed of what had happened last night.

“Are you worried since we talked about how Angela disliked that kiss?”

Lapin nodded weakly. She seemed to have been noticing that she could be a little too pushy, and that she could force people into what they didn’t want. Which Ellen thought that she already should have known about herself from the beginning. It should after all be easy to see if a person wanted something or not.

“I don’t hate what happened, and I don’t like what happened. But I did allow you to do it and didn’t tell you to stop. So it’s a special thing that happened, and it wasn’t any wrongdoing by you.”

Lapin shined up slightly by Ellen’s answer.

Ellen had the chance to say no, but she never did. All in differences from Angela that got it forced upon her, without any questions asked. So it was two opposite kinds of causes. If there should be a problem with what the cat did to Ellen, she would have been a part of the problem herself since she didn’t tell Lapin to stop.

“When will we go to the shop? So I can apologise?”

“Since both Sour and Agnes was wasted yesterday, so am I thinking it will be best a little past noon. When we can be sure that they both have woke up.”

Lapin looked uncomfortable at the clock, it was quite a while remaining.

They could have been going earlier, but Ellen had her own reasons to why they shouldn’t go yet.

The first reason was that She hoped that Sour could have finished the gear by the time they got there. So even if it shouldn’t have been finished the day before so would he have some extra time to get it done.

And second… Lapin had been rough at Ellen during their time together, like a hungry beast. Even if Ellen had asked her to be gentle. So it was a payback for “that cat’s” behaviour. Seeing her being uncomfortable while being forced to wait. Not to mention that the payback was affected by all the thoughts that she had awakened. All the thoughts about the things with Jack she awakened with her stupid idea to “play” with Ellen.

Ellen had felt a little happy when they left home for the shop. Both because Alice and Taija had offered to cook the food, which meant that she could spend all her time to be putting the machine together when she came back. And a little thanks to the small revenge at Lapin.

Ellen maybe had been wrong being a little glad while they walked to sour’s shop.

If Angela had been a little upset the day before, she was clearly pissed off by now. FAR over the top. She gave Lapin a loud scolding that made Ellen feel guilty for bringing the poor cat there.

“It`s a little late to tell you little Missy, but my daughter does have a really bad temper.”

It indeed was a little late for Sour to tell her that. If Ellen would have known, so should they have left when Lapin first had asked to leave. During that time so could Angela maybe still have been a little tired and gone easier at her. Either way, so might Ellen need to apologise to Lapin on their way home afterwards.

Ellen had got the gear as she wanted, with some explanation she felt bad about. She started to put the machine together as she recalled the conversation with Sour and Angela.

She had asked if it was better then the last one, and got the question if the strength at the machine for Alice’s treatment mattered. Which it had to do, since it took all emotions from Alice while it now only took the “demons” from others. Which of course she didn’t tell them the fact about Alice.

“If we take a heat giving gear as an example. If you have tuned it in so you get a piece of meat cooked during a specific time, and then change the gear to another with a different strength. The piece of meat can be either under-cooked or overcooked during that specific time when the last one cooked it perfectly. So simply said, if the strength is changed so will other things need to get changed.”

Angela, a person that didn’t even worked as a cog technician, could easily find that out. So how could Ellen, that worked as a cog technician, have overseen that?

It was sad, it was pathetic. She was a failure as a cog technician. She could see it clearly herself, she knows it far too well herself.

It wasn’t even all that had happened. On their way home so had a person come up and start to talk with the cat. A woman, about Alice size. And just by looking at her it was clear that she was stuck in addiction. Ellen didn’t like that someone like that talked with Lapin, and liked it even less when it turned out to be one of the cat’s old friends. Ellen got a bad feeling and remembered some of the old stories she once had heard in her past life where former junkies had relapsed because they meet some old friends.

Lapin had said that she would come back home later, after she was done talking with her friend. Ellen had hope in Lapin and accepted it like the idiot she was, going home to continue building at the machine. She didn’t tell Alice about it when she came home. She still believed in the cat, but would still keep an eye at her when she returned.

She had hoped that she would be able to relax enough during the winter tree blossom to make some of all the thoughts to fade away. But she had been wrong. If she hadn’t got enough to think about earlier, so was she really having enough of it now.

Why couldn’t Jill had been there with her? It would have been so much easier to handle everything. She could have talked with her and eased her heart, she could have listened to Jill’s stories from her journeys. It could have been so much better, and Jill maybe also could have given her some advice to be calm and relaxed as her. Just like she was before she left for that journey…

That maybe could be it, maybe it was a journey Ellen could need. A journey so she could take a break from everything and see the world. A break from “that princess”, “that cat”, Chris and the other guys, her life and Jack. Wait! Why would she want to take a break from her beloved one? Sure she maybe could become more of an adult during the journey, but it didn’t justify that she even would think like that.

Had she picked up bad habits from “the princess” during their time together? Bad habits to stop caring about people. It couldn’t be, it was just stupid to think like that. But of course so wasn’t she feeling bad about not being able to spend a night with Lapin, while she not even could spend a few hours with him? Why wasn’t she even feeling a little bad about that? She would feel bad for not being able to spend that special time with Jack.

Ellen had done a really good job at putting the “Angel” together during the day after the winter tree blossom. Alice couldn’t be more than proud of her, her beloved sister even made sure that the “Angel” arrived at the clinic the very next day.

Lapin had come with a strange idea when the “Angel” arrived, that they should make sure that it worked as it should. That itself wasn’t strange, to be honest. But that she was volunteering to get it tested at herself was. Of course they didn’t want to from the start, but after a little talk so was it tested at her anyway. And it was after that the girl started to act really strange.

Alice half-hearted looked at the pages in the calendar at the counter, while trying to keep an eye at Lapin. The girl had started to write a lot in a small notepad. Alice had at first thought that she wrote notes to herself about the work, and tried to sneak a peek at it. Lapin had noticed her and had shut it close before Alice could see anything. She didn’t want to answer questions about what she wrote int he notepad.

It could still be seen as innocent, as if she was trying to plan something to surprise them. Yet it worried Alice since the girl also grew very careful around everyone at the clinic. And it all started the day after the winter tree blossom, the day after she told her that she had met an old friend. Which She now meet every and second day after work.

Alice had seen her friend once, and she didn’t like what she saw. A poor girl that reminded her of how Lapin had looked when they first found her at the clinic. Another person that used crystals? Either way, Alice still didn’t like it. Not even when Lapin first should have met the friend during the day after the celebration. Alice had got it explained by Lapin herself and had since then kept an eye at Lapin to really make sure that she didn’t show any signs of taking crystals.

“Are you thinking about something Alice.”

Taija smiled gently at her. They had talked much during the last two weeks after the celebration, like if there never had been any problem between them. Whatever the problem now could have been, Alice didn’t remember. Even if she remembered one part from the celebration that she didn’t want to remember, which she rather should have exchanged for knowing the problem.

“Not really.” She didn’t want to tell the other about Lapin. Especially not since they already had shown how bad they could treat the poor girl.

“Okay. May I ask how the sewing is going.”

They had talked about it the day they both woke up in the same bed. Back then Alice had forgotten all about it after they had lost their house. But if course she had started at the project once again, even taken Ellen’s measures once again. Her beloved sister had after all grown a little, just like herself.

Taija was as always giving her advice of how she could do Ellen’s dress really cute.

Alice didn’t like the situation at all when she came home.

She had lost track of time while talking with Taija, so Lapin had already left when she began to walk home. And at home so her beloved sister had told her that Lapin had been home and said that she would sleep at a friend’s place.

Ellen tried to tell Alice that the girl was acting like any other girl would have acted, but the bad thoughts started to nagging at her mind. She didn’t want to think bad about Lapin, but it was really hard to not. Lapin was a really kind and gentle girl, so why did she act so strange like that.

“Lapin, can you please tell us what is going on?”

Lapin hadn’t stopped the strange behaviour after another week, and now so had Lilly decided to take action to find out what was going on. Grabbing Lapin's arm so the girl couldn’t escape.

Alice had tried to find that out during some talking with Lapin about it, but she denied that it was anything strange going on. Everything was just as it should according to her. Alice was only overthinking it. Which could be partly true. If it wasn’t that Lapin had stopped to come back home. She stayed at her friend’s place all the time and didn’t even want to tell Alice about where she lived.

Lapin was clearly getting more and more worn out by every day that passed. Which was worse than while she searched for a place to live. But she didn’t want to tell her what she was doing. And the notes she regularly wrote was simply no of Alice’s business.

Alice had tried to catch her for some more talk after the work was finished, but the girl had always got away. Every day so had Lapin been able to avoid Alice.

“There is nothin’ goin’ on.” Lapin broke free from Lilly and glared angrily at them.

“You have been acting really strange, and that is without mentioning that you even are avoiding miss Morfine.”

Lapin showed clear signs of being ashamed of herself, but was still pointing out that there was nothing going on and that she didn’t act strangely. She really, REALLY didn’t act strangely.

“Lapin, can you then please tell me why you are so tired?”

Alice had to point out one thing. She would have to love to ask about why Lapin stopped coming home, but it would most probably fuel up Lilly even more. And Lapin that earlier had been a so kind and gentle girl did deserve to get a chance to protect herself.

“Please, I have told you that it is nothin’.”

Lapin’s body was lightly shivering. Was she angry or could it be that she was afraid? Afraid that there would come out thing she didn’t want them to know.

“Can you please tell me what you are writing on the notes that you hide?”

Alice had to get some answers from Lapin. She needed to. Otherwise so wouldn't there be any chances for her to solve whatever was going on. But once again so did she declare that what she wrote only was for herself and no of their business.

They seemed to be pressuring her too hard, the poor girl was about to cry. Alice didn’t know what she wanted anymore. She wanted to protect Lapin from what was going on, but at the same time so did she want to find out what was going on. Why did Lapin acting as she did?

“That friend that you have said that you are meeting, she isn’t using crystals. Right?” Lapin froze up and looked down at the floor after hearing Taija’s question. It wasn’t good at all, everything was pointing towards what Alice didn’t want to believe.

“Are you taking those crystals again?” Lilly shamelessly asked the question that maybe all of them would like to know the answer at.

Her body was shaking, she murmured something before looking up at Lilly. Screaming some curses in her face, ran pass everyone and dashed out from the clinic.

Alice had told Ellen when she arrived home. Told her everything that no one of them wanted to suspect Lapin for.

“So you are thinking that she’s taking crystals again?”

They all thought so, after seeing how Lapin reacted to it. She got angry because she got exposed, didn’t she? And not wanting to expose anything about what she did or even lived for the moment, it only seemed to strengthen their worries. No matter if they, honestly, didn’t want to believe that it was true.

“How can you be sure about that?”

“I saw Lapin on my way back from Sour’s shop, she was looking really upset. Is it possible to know it´s true without any proof?” Ellen didn’t believe it and of course so Alice didn’t want to believe it either. But if it wasn’t true, why wouldn’t she tell them anything about it all. If it just would have been that she wanted some distance from them, it wouldn’t have been harder than to just tell them. Alice would have accepted it, just like Ellen sometimes locked herself in her workshop to get some distance from everyone else.

So what could it else be, it had to be something and that was what it all pointed toward. There was no chance that it could be mistaken for anything else.

Their conversation didn’t lead anywhere and ended with that they walked separate ways. Her beloved sister walked to her workshop as usual, probably to think things through. She was after all a very smart person, so she must be able to see it even if she doesn’t want to believe it.

Alice walked to the bathroom. She also needed to think it all through, she didn’t want to believe that Lapin had relapsed. But since it had to be the cause, she needed to think about how she would go through everything.

If there was something that could help Alice think clear so was it a warm and wonderful bath. Feeling how her body got relaxed in the bath, just letting the thought organise themselves.

“Why did it all end like this?”

She had been keeping an eye at Lapin the whole time, tried to help her when it was needed. Hold the girl’s back tight at the clinic. Caring about the poor girl. Where had it gone wrong?

Had it been that Alice cared too much about Lapin, holding her back far too tight? Missed something important that lead to this downfall? Could it have been better if Alice had tried to hold her back from that friend? Was it that friend’s fault that it ended like this, or was it Lapin’s fault? It couldn’t, Lapin was a smart girl after all.

Could it have been that it was Alice’s high thoughts about the girl that had made her miss the signs that could have told her that it would end like this?

Alice had helped Lapin getting clean twice, would there be more times? Would Lapin come back later on and ask for help like last time? Would it be right by Alice to give her a third chance? It couldn’t be wrong, right? But if Alice helped her a third time, how did she know it wouldn’t be a fourth and fifth time?

Alice pulled her legs toward her and hugged them.

It could have been easier if she would have got someone to talk with during the bath. Ellen should have been good, if she only could have kept a little more open view on it in differences from the conversation before.

Maybe could have been better with Taija in this case, at least they would have been able to really talk about it. And Taija was probably also knowing Alice better than Ellen did. At least it seemed that way when they talked earlier. They had got really close after the celebration. Alice could feel how her face got hot. She didn’t need to remember that now, she didn’t even want to remember it.

The bath had got the better of her, so it was really about time to get out of it. Out if the bath, dress and straight to her lonely bed.

It was a lovely morning and Ellen sat in the kitchen and drank some coffee.

It was a beautiful morning at least, but it couldn’t get further from lovely than it already was. It had been a week since Lapin might have gotten falsely accused of relapsing and left. There had been no signs of Lapin in any way. And that was even if Ellen had spent some parts of the days wandering around in the city, looking for any signs of Lapin. Sure she had also tried to find new ideas for things she could do to, but mostly to look for Lapin.

It wasn’t only because she wanted answers on what it all was about, which she was determined to get. Even if it would mean that she needed to pull the poor cat into an alleyway and swipe the ground with her. Ellen really needed to get some answers so she could help “that princess”. Or rather, “former princess”.

Since Lapin had got accused and left, Alice seemed to have been greatly overthinking it all. Probably blaming herself for “that cat’s” choice, whatever it now could be for a choice that she had decided upon. All Ellen knew for the moment was that they had tried to pressure her telling them something that she wanted to keep to herself.

Ellen needed to get her hands on “that cat” so the worries for her sister could come to an end.

Someone was knocking at the door? Could she be so lucky that the cat came straight to her, now that she knew Alice was at the clinic?

“Lapin?” Ellen opened the door and asked, hoping for the best. Maybe there was a chance that she could get some quick answers at the spot.

“No, it’s Jill. “Sister”“. Jill was standing in front of the door with a smile, which grew even bigger when she noticed it was Ellen.

“So you are the “sister” to the cute little cat girl?”

Cute little cat girl, Lapin?

Jill had just come back to the city when a young cat asked if she could do her a favour. She led Jill to the house and asked her to leave a pouch to her sister before she turned and ran away.

By Jill’s description of the cat so did it have to be Lapin. Probably more worn out now, but it was still her.

“So where is the pouch that you should give me?” Ellen didn’t care if she sounded rude or demanding. There was probably a good reason that Lapin wanted Ellen to have that pouch. In the best case so could answer some questions.

Jill handed it over. Ellen carefully opened it and started to read a note that was inside.

“What is going on Ellen?”

Ellen had by some reason dragged along Jill to the clinic, running as if her life had depended on it. Which wasn’t far from the truth. Their economy depended at it.

Leaning against the counter at the clinic, still trying to catch her breath. She handed Alice the note from Lapin.

“Lilly, we might need to test one thing.”

Lapin had written that there was a chance that HM had reached the street. She had got her hands on the powder that she heard should have the same effect as it. Ellen handed over the pouch to Lilly. At closer examination so was both kinds of powder looking the same, so they really needed to test it.

“I have tried the real thing, so I can try this too.”

Jill had a point, she was the one that HM first had been tried at. So maybe she could tell a difference, otherwise they needed to find another way to test it.

“Jill? In that case, so might it hurt a little.” Lilly had a wicked smile as she seemed to recognise Jill.

“Miss Lilium? You ain’t mad, right?”

To make the story short, so did Lilly explained that they had spent a night together for some years ago. Cuddling and having a good time, until Jill got tired while Lilly was full of energy. It all ended with that Jill threw Lilly out, nude. Locking the door and gone to sleep.

But thanks to, something? So did Jill started to hunt Lilly down to cuddle the “cute demon”. Until the point that Lilly couldn’t take it anymore and did the stupid decision to get rid of her wings, that she thought was the core of her problem with Jill.

Jill didn’t hunt her anymore after that or rather. She didn’t meet her anymore after that, and her decision back then still bothered her. Maybe she didn’t have to do it, Jill might have left her alone anyway.

“She won’t kill me, right?” Jill was still too tired after the running to fight back against Lilly. Desperately asking the other three since Lilly didn’t answer her.

“She’s a kinder person than you, so she might only do a small “mistake” and push the needle too deep.” Taija that answered her didn’t seem to even feel sorry for her. Which of course neither Ellen or Alice did. Jill had done a horrible thing to Lilly, so she deserved what was coming to her.

The last thing that was written at the note was nothing that neither Alice or Ellen had noticed in the mess. It was a simple little message from Lapin. “I won’t be back for a while. Kiss. Lapin”