Part 1

“Shut up just SHUT the FUCK up!”

The chair practically flipped backwards with how forcefully the boy lunged at him. He hardly had time to react before he got shoved against the chalkboard, a forearm held firm against his jugular.

His vision began to blur and his hands moved on instinct, desperately clawing at the fabric on the uniform’s cuffs; he felt himself reach through, to the boy’s skin, but inky, slippery liquid covered his fingers and made it difficult to get through.

Breathing was no use, it felt like there was a plug in his throat— the adam’s apple maybe? Either way, it pushed further into his neck, causing dots, both black and colorful, to dance across his vision. He could feel the oxygen in his lungs burn, he could feel himself fading— in a last ditch effort he pushed against the boy’s face with everything he had clawing at anything he could touch; he must’ve hit something, because he heard the boy curse, and what little restraint he showed, left as the student pressed the entirety of his body forward.

The pressure swelled, his body was going limp. He could feel blood nearly burst from his eyes and he’d long since lost control of his mouth, only faintly aware of the saliva dripping down the side of his chin; at that moment, the pressure erupted upward, into his brain.

It hurt, it hurt so much. He just wanted the pain to stop.

He wanted it all to stop.

But that was a lie; because he started it.

If he died, would the pain go away?

As his arms slipped down to his sides, he couldn’t help but think……

“……which………am I talking about?”

At that instant, a car sped in front of him, and both he, and the student, collapsed like ragdolls.

Barely conscious, he looked up through bloodshot eyes to see—

“What the hell……are you doing to my friend?”

—a boy with long, unkempt hair.

“Oh…it just……felt like one………”

He didn’t have the strength to pick himself up, in fact, he only had the willpower to barely cling onto his consciousness.

“Ahh, damn,” said the boy, rising from the ground. He used his hand to move his jaw from side to side, as though realigning a piece of machinery. “You ever heard of pulling your punches, Ryu?”

“What, in the hell, were you doing?”

The handful of students in the now-empty classroom couldn’t help but move away from the boy, even though he was meters away; they couldn’t help but think it was a good thing his hair covered his eyes.

Because, from tone alone, it was clear his feelings went beyond anger.

The boy looked to one side while giving his reply. “I was doing you a favor. You should be grateful this piece of trash will be going back home.”

Saying those words had the same effect as throwing gasoline on a fire. Ryu bent his knees, ready to charge at the boy in front of him; in fact, he’d actually already started moving, but a faint grip on the cloth against his legs stopped him.

Sprawled against the filthy tiles, the blonde boy’s grip around the cloth of his leg tightened.

Shock came before the anger, but only for a moment as he clenched his jaw so hard there was an audible pop. He turned to the rest of them, uttering a simple phrase through bared teeth.

“Leave.”

And they did.

One by one, the handful of students left the classroom, some muttering to each other, some showing each other the videos captured on their phones, but only the student Ryu punched said anything to him. As he approached the door, he turned back—

“—you’re making a mistake. You think he cares about you but he doesn't; the ones like him, the ones that think they’re above the rest of us? They’re the ones that care about you the least.”

“I told you to leave.”

“And I told you that they’re the types who’ll abandon you, Ryu. No one else would be willing to go to the lengths I did to help you.”

Even saying it from a distance, he could feel the anger directed towards him. For the first time that evening, he saw the boy’s eyes— sharp, like broken glass. He heaved a heavy sigh, grabbing the door frame as he uttered his final words.

“Just………please remember our talk. It might come to save you one day. See you around.”

With that, the two were finally alone. Ryu walked into the hallway, looking from side to side to make sure they were gone before—

“What is WRONG with you!?”

—grabbing his friend by the collar and sitting him in a chair.

Though he wasn’t fully back in his five senses, some of the red had left his eyes and he could breathe a little more, though it sounded ragged.

“They were………under control of nefarious spiri—”

“LUKA!” shouted the boy, grabbing his clothes again. “Enough of this! Quit acting like this and come back to your old self! What is this ‘nefarious spirit’ talk?! Quit acting like a chuunibyou, quit acting like life is one of your anime cause it’s not!”

“My friend, your concern is not unfounded, but I—”

“YOU’LL END UP DEAD AT THIS RATE!”

There was a tension to the air that came from those words. By themselves, they weren’t anything special; it was something that could be said by someone playing a game, or by actors in a movie, but in this situation they caused tension to spread into the air.

And the reason was because it was most likely true.

“You………wouldn’t understand.”

“Then tell me! Tell me why you started wrapping bandages around your arms! Tell me why you started talking like a third-grade storybook character! Tell me why you snitched on our classmates and got them expelled! Tell me!”

The blonde boy went limp as Ryu continued to shake him.

“Luka!” he cried. “Luka!”

Part 2

“Luka?” asked the girl beside him. “What are you looking at?”

“Huh? O-Oh, sorry,” he said, thrusting his hands in his pockets. “Umm, nothing; it’s just that these clothes made me remember something.”

She looked at the clothes being displayed through the glass. It was an outfit which consisted of an uncomfortably high number of belts and bandages, Yui couldn’t imagine that anyone would be comfortable wearing something like that.

“You wore those kinds of clothes?”

“Wha—? N-No! I did a lot of things when I was younger, but I never got into cosplay.”

“But………you stopped in front of a cosplay store.”

“Because the outfit made me remember something that happened when I was younger!”

“But……if it made you remember something that happened when you were younger……and it’s in a cosplay store…wouldn’t that mean…?”

He sighed in defeat. Her conclusion was logically sound but he wasn’t in the mood to explain.

“Anyway, where’s Yuuko? Wasn’t he supposed to meet us here by now?”

“Ahhaha,” she said, scratching the top of her head. “About that, he told me that we should go on ahead, he’ll catch up with us as soon as he can.”

“Oh………is he busy with something?”

“Yes and the reason bothers me.” she whispered, clenching her fist to her blouse.

“Did you say something?”

“Not a thing; now come on! I told you our purpose for today and we’re not going to find clothes in a cosplay store.” she motioned for him to follow, and he followed closely behind.

The feeling of deja-vu struck him as he walked a little ways behind her; last time they’d only walked on the outskirts of the city, reasonable given that at the time they were going to visit Yuuko’s dorm room, but this time they were venturing into the dead center of the city.

Named ‘Mirror Mall’ for both its proximity to the school and the fact it was full of students on the weekend— it was modern, elegant, and absolutely enormous. In fact, it was less a mall and more a maze-like collection of shops, restaurants, and attractions. The cosplay store he found was only at one of its many entrances, and if you knew where to look, there was almost nothing you couldn’t find.

In this case, their goal was to find new clothes for Yui; he couldn’t imagine why she’d need them, her casual clothes were incredible. She was wearing a lacy white blouse beneath a pale blue jacket that clung lazily over her shoulders. Her skirt was on the longer side, reaching her shins, but it went well with the black boots she wore on top of the white ribbon dangling on the side of her hair.

By contrast, his own outfit was………stereotypical. An oversized, dark orange hoodie with blue jeans and sneakers; to say he felt out of place walking alongside her, or even behind her, was an understatement.

And speaking of what one could find—

“—Yui,” he said, quickening his pace to speak at a low volume, “if we’re finding clothes for you, wouldn’t it be better…for……I mean, you know, for you to have other people?”

She paused and looked curiously at him. “But you are other people.”

He could feel his cheeks flush. “No, I mean……like………other………you know, people that you could show.”

She snapped her finger in realization. “Ohhhh, you mean other girls!”

He quickly tried shushing her, semi-aware of the looks people were giving them.

“Y-Yeah, I guess……or like, you know………Yuuko?”

He didn’t know what he said, but her eyebrow twitched when he mentioned the name. “Oh, don’t you worry about him, Luka. He’ll see my outfits— all of them. One way or another. All of them.”

He didn’t know why she repeated that twice, but she resumed walking with Luka needing to jog to catch up. As he studied her, a sudden thought crossed his mind of her showing off all sorts of dresses……gowns………maybe even—

—no no no no WAY! I thought about this the first time we met too! She’s taken, she has Yuuko!

He violently nodded his head, confirming his own thoughts.

That’s right, that’s right! I can’t do that to him, she’s his—!

………………

………………………

………his…………………

His what?

He pressed the palm of his hand against his temple.

What………are they?

No, more than that, what did he know about them?

Just what did he know about the people who’ve been helping him?

The first day they met, Yui had saved him from Ryu and his friends; after just the first day, Yui understood that he had a problem with the other students. Yet what did he know about her? He knew that her mom was foreign, and from her class introduction knew simple things like the fact she liked writing.

Writing? Just what did she write? Not just that, where did she come from? She’s half foreign, so was she born here? Is that how she knows Yuuko?

And Yuuko.

Just a few days later, Yuuko began helping lose weight, even after his outburst, even after Luka accused him of faking his desire to help.

No. No no no it was more than that. Somehow, it was especially Yuuko that understood Luka as a person. From their simple conversations, he’d been able to extract so much about him; in their first conversation he was able to get him to admit he had problems with himself. What could he say about Yuuko? That he enjoyed reading? From their run, he mentioned cooking when he was a child, and from their conversation in his room, he mentioned an ideal.

What was, what is, his ideal?

Those words.

“You think he cares about you but he doesn't; the ones like him, the ones that think they’re above the rest of us? They’re the ones that care about you the least.”

Are they true?

And if they are………was Ryu right to do what he did?

These past two years, had he really been that selfish?

“Yui,” he said, suddenly stopping.

The girl with a white ribbon running down the side of her hair looked back to the boy who called.

“What’s wrong? We need to hurry or we’re going to miss—”

“Just what are you and Yuuko, exactly?”

Her expression immediately changed; her eyes narrowed in interest at the question.

“What a sudden thing to ask, however do you mean?”

“Yui………are you and him……………are you guys……” the words caught in his throat, and something completely different came out. “How do you know each other?”

Yui let out a half-amused giggle before tilting her head up, looking to the glass that covered the roof, giving the people below an open view of the sky above.

“Well, it’s quite a story, one for another day. But if I had to give an answer,” she said, lowering her head, “it’d be because he was selfish.”

His own eyes went wide, and though she was already turning around, he called out once more. “Are you two dating?”

He surprised himself. He didn’t think he’d be able to ask such an embarrassing question to a girl like her, but even so, she turned around once more.

“What did you just dooooo!?”

It had been a while since his internal voice spoke.

Don’t blame me! You want to know too, don’t you?

“Ask about what she meant by selfish, you socially stunted shut-in!”

Asking would be selfish cause I’d be talking about myself again! I want to know more about them!

“Are you retarded?!”

Can’t you just give me a break for once!?

“I’m you, if you wanted it then I would!”

I—!

He stopped. The world continued spinning around them, people walked, music played, but Luka stopped because Yui’s eyes continued to narrow until a smug smile spread across her face.

That was the last expression he expected, but, somehow her eyes……………looked so happy.

Was it the morning sun making them so bright?

“Speaking of,” she said, approaching him, “he told me you agreed to be his running partner, it was nice of you to do that for him.”

“Oh……uhh………I don’t think that’s accurate, but at the same time it’s not untrue………”

He looked to one side as he spoke, unable to look at her because of the question he’d just asked. That, and he wasn’t used to having any girl approach him. After a few seconds of silence, he looked to her

“That’s the place.”

“What is?” he said, turning around to see what she’d been staring at, but it just looked like a generic store, nothing special about it at all.

“Right……umm………do they sell clothes for girls there?”

“Don’t underestimate the things you can find in a casual store!”

She motioned for him to follow, and as they were about to enter, Luka hesitated.

“…it’d be because he was selfish.”

If even someone like Yuuko was selfish………then there’s hope for someone like himself, right?

“They’re the ones that care about you the least.”

He pressed his head against his temple to steady the sudden dizziness.

But if he is changing……this time………what kind of person is he trying to become?

* * * * *

“It’s been forever since I last went shopping, how about you?”

“Umm………probably a few weeks.”

“Really? What’d you buy?”

He began sweating bullets.

“Well, you know, just ties and stuff for school.”

Of course that was a lie.

He still remembered waking up his first day of school, feeling the immense disappointment from the new pair of pants he’d brought, not fitting him past the thigh. There was no way he could talk about that with Yui.

The shop around them didn’t exactly help. He scanned the entire store, and none of them seemed to have the types of clothes Yui would wear; in fact, most seemed geared towards males. He didn’t know why, but he was beginning to feel an odd amount of pressure.

“Ohh, ties, how modern! Anything else you like wearing? Do you have a fashion preference?”

“N-Not really………”

Of course he didn’t have one. When he was a child, fashion wasn’t important, but as the years passed it became clear he was far behind his classmates in that area, and the answer as to why just struck him one day.

“Awhhh, why don’t you want to try it on?” Yui asked as she presented him with a sweater she thought would look great on him.

“I just……I don’t think it’d look good…”

“Of course it would! You can’t say that before you’ve tried it!”

But he had tried it. And he couldn’t stand the person looking back at him.

But………it won’t always be that way, right? Maybe one day—

“No, you won’t.”

I’m already working towards it!

“For what? Five days? This is who you are now, this is—!”

His train of thought was interrupted by Yui forcing one of his arms through the sleeve of a black jacket with red trim, he was so surprised that it wasn’t until she tried putting his other arm through the second sleeve for him to respond.

“Yui, h-hey! What are you doing?!”

“You have to start somewhere!” she said, mildly annoyed. “Everyone does! And since you already started, I see no reason for you to stop here!”

He started spinning in place, trying to force her back.

“Yui I don’t, I— h-hey! There’s a reason I don’t like shopping!”

“I know!” she exclaimed. He didn’t know why, but her tone sounded more honest now. “But clothes make the man, and if it’ll encourage you to keep going then we have to try! You have to go step by step!”

“Yui, wait, stop!”

They crashed against a stack of forty percent off t-shirts, knocking a few off the table; Luka had the sudden memory of Yuuko crashing into his dorm, since the sound was very similar.

“Just what is it with these two?!” he thought to himself. “Seriously, they’re not normal at all!”

………………

………………………

………………………………

They’re not normal at all.

……………

But then………why do they feel normal?

Another wave of dizziness hit him, the memory of both their personal introductions on the first day of class filled his mind.

When the opportunity presented itself, Yui sharpened her eyes, unintentionally yelling

“Get in the jaaackkeeeeeettt!!!!!”

Shoving his other arm through the sleeve, she quickly scanned for the closest mirror, but found nothing except………

“There!”

Grabbing him by the arm and gritting her teeth, she externally yelled as she hurled him through two large doors labelled “Fitting Room”.

Crashing onto the floor and getting the wind knocked out of him was unpleasant to say the least. He writhed on the floor for at least a minute before recovering enough to understand what happened; if nothing else, it helped clear up the fog that had accumulated in his mind.

“Gah,” he said, grabbing the wall for support. “Where’d……she learn to throw someone like that?”

That’s another thing I don’t know about her.

He rubbed his tailbone, standing up as he thought about what she’d said.

“If it’ll encourage you to keep going, then we have to try!”

“From the way she talked……it’s almost like she knew I—”

He took in a sharp breath. In front of him was a mirror, and for the briefest moment he panicked. He didn’t want to look at himself. He didn’t want to be reminded of what he chose to avoid.

But the man looking back in the mirror didn’t look like him, only remarkably like him. Afterall, there was no way the person staring back at him could be him.

He touched his cheek, and the person before him did the same. The fat on his cheek………somehow………………he remembered there being more of it. Not only that, but the swollen areas above his eyelids, the ones that appeared since he’d gained wait, they were also gone. He stepped closer, grazing the reflective surface with a finger.

His finger.

He touched the base of each of them; they felt just a little bonier, and looked just a little slimmer. All of a sudden, details he never noticed about himself seemed to pop out of nowhere.

The first day of school, when he looked in the mirror, was the first time in years he’d looked at himself, so if he was noticing all these details about himself now, did that mean he subconsciously memorized all the little things he hated about his appearance?

Details that, now that he looked at himself again, he noticed changed?

But the most striking thing was simply how adding a simple jacket changed the way he looked. The charcoal color went well with the darker shade of blue he wore, and his hood stuck out over the top of the collar, which made it look………modern? Fashionable?

The only thing he knew for sure was that it made him look thinner. Like it was telling him what could be possible in the future.

“Clothes make the man, and if it’ll encourage you to keep going then we have to try!”

He touched the features of his body once more.

“Clothes really can make the man………”

His phone began vibrating, taking it out, he saw a notification for a text.

「Yui:

Hey, so funny story, they kinda kicked me out of the store for “disrupting the peace”. If you like the jacket, can you buy it so we can grab something to eat? I think your apprentice should be meeting us soon too」

He completely forgot he’d given her his number before they arranged to meet today.

「Yeah, I rly like it, thanks! How’re u so good @ fashion?」

There was a lingering feeling in his stomach, a curiosity. With this, he’d finally come at least one question closer to understanding one of the two people who’d helped him. But to his surprise, the only words on the screen read:

「Yui:

Us ladies need to do our best to look sharp」

He sighed, closing the phone and exiting the fitting rooms. He hadn’t noticed before, but the store carried a lot more than just clothes, there were gifts as well as a few trinkets alongside what looked like gift wrapping. Why hadn’t he noticed them before?

He touched the base of his neck, the muscles felt stiff for some reason. He chose to ignore it as he removed the jacket, walking to the register to pay for it when a hooded figure suddenly appeared.

“Oof!”

“—!——!!”

Luka touched his shoulder in reflex, he wasn’t hurt at all, but the same might not be said for the person in front of him. Though he was still standing, the person in the hood fell to the floor, envelopes and cards scattering across the floor.

“O-Oh man, I-I’m really really sorry! Hey, are you o…kay…?”

The girl in front of him rubbed her head in a daze, but that also caused her hood to slip off. Red hair like actual fire, brighter and more colorful than any he’d ever seen before, was the very first thing he noticed about her. The second, is how beautiful she looked.

She continued rubbing her head until returning to her senses, and scanning the floor around her, she immediately understood what happened and looked up.

Though not on purpose, both had their mouths agape in a stunned silence. The girl’s face, full of freckles and with glasses on the bridge of her nose, turned as red as her hair as she frantically tried collecting the items on the floor.

She was the first to act, but Luka was the first to speak.

“H-Here let me help with—”

As soon as he crouched down she went ten times as fast, grabbing a card only to have it slip, trying to grab it again, and repeating the process; he even thought he saw her hand slam onto cards, like her brain registered touching it and picking it up as the same thing.

“U-Umm, hey are you—”

The more he spoke, the more frantic he became, which in turn caused him to start panicking. He tried grabbing a card, but it would fold and slip out of his grasp. By the time he picked one up, she’d already collected all of hers; he was going to hand over the only one he selected when something about the cover caught his eye.

On the cover was an image of two people, a boy and a girl, walking hand-in-hand on a sandy beach. The words printed above them said:

“Where you will go, I will follow.

When you speak, I will hear.

Because who you are, is who I cherish.

Near or far, I will go.

Until you see, you are to me……”

He was about to open the inside of it until she yanked the card out of his hand, and flew outside the store with her hood all the way up.

He stood there for a few moments, stunned at what he’d read, but more so at the girl he just saw.

Does she……go to our school?

The vibration in his pocket returned him to the present, and checking the notification, he went to pay for the jacket with a warm feeling inside his chest.

Part 3

“And you didn’t help her?!”

“I picked up a card she’d dropped!……but kind of stared at it………”

“Did you at least apologize!?”

“I-I tried! She was just going so fast I didn’t really have time to think!”

Yui sighed as he finished his story.

“You’re going to have to atone for this.”

“Atone? What did I do?”

“You knocked down a poor girl against her will, and what’s more, you took something precious from her! Something she might’ve been saving for someone special, and you took it right before her eyes!”

“…Yui……that phrasing sounds………”

“That’s why—” she said, pointing directly at him, “—we’re going to have you practice these spontaneous encounters! So you can learn what to say in any situation, and especially practice who you say it to!” she declared.

“It……I mean, I meant to, but I’ll try to do it next time.”

“Yes you will,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Follow me.”

Just like that, from outside the store Yui disappeared into the crowd behind her, seamlessly weaving between their bodies as though she couldn’t be touched by them. Luka tried keeping up, but there were so many people. He kept bumping shoulders with strangers, it slowed him down, preventing him from keeping up with his guide.

He tried narrowing his attention to following her ribbon, but soon, that disappeared amongst the waves of people crashing against him.

“Ohoph!”

“Iyah!”

A high pitched voice came from right next to him, and he saw long, light brown hair that complimented those extremely long eyelashes. She was walking arm in arm with an older man, maybe they were married?

“Follow me.”

“I’ll do it next time!”

He found it impossible to believe that his brain was making so many connections in such a short amount of time, but the person he bumped into was absolutely a beautiful woman.

“I-I—I’m sorry about that!”

“No worries!” she said, once again grabbing the man’s arm since the impact seemed to have loosened her grip.

He stood still for a moment, a wide smile spreading across his face.

Technically, Yui had been the first girl he’s talked to in years that wasn’t family, but by himself, this was the first time. Even so, in the back of his mind he couldn’t help but feel that the girl seemed familiar somehow.

Suddenly, he felt someone grab his shoulder and pull him off to the side.

“Be careful, you’ll get trampled standing in the middle of a crowd like that.”

“Yuuko!” he said in disbelief. “Where’ve you been? I thought you were going to meet us.”

“Aah, I’m really sorry about that,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I had something I had to do, but I understand everything now, more or less.”

“Understand?”

“Nice jacket by the way,” he said, walking around his friend, inspecting the article. “It really brings out everything we’ve been working on the past few days.”

“Oh, t-thanks I—wait, working on?”

“I can’t believe you two would leave a poor, fragile maiden to fend for herself in the middle of a crowd!”

“Didn’t you send a guy to the infirmary earlier this week for nearly touching you?”

“Only one person is allowed to touch me,” she said, bringing her face closer to the man who just spoke. “How do you plan to atone for this, Yuu?”

“I’ll decide on that later,” he said, pushing down her shoulders. “Anyway what were you two doing?”

“Atoning.”

He looked confusingly at the girl as she proceeded to explain the situation.

“It was an accident,” stated Luka sheepishly. “I was just………kind of caught off guard, you know?”

“Why’s that?”

“She—”

He hesitated, completely at a loss for words. Background noise filled the silence as both looked at him, waiting for his response; it was Yuuko who opened his mouth to speak, but Luka spoke.

“—I’ve never seen anyone like her before.”

“What’d she look like?” asked Yui, intrigued.

“Her hair was……it looked like fire, and she had freckles and glasses. I-I felt bad but it was like the words caught in my throat, I just didn’t really know what to say. She was nervous, I think, but she probably just wanted to get out of there………I wouldn’t blame her.”

The filled silence returned, but only for a moment before Yuuko let out a sigh, turning to Yui.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s better to take it one step at a time and we already did good work today.”

“‘We.’” she pouted. “You were gone the whole time y’know.”

He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, I’ll make it up to you when we get back.”

“Umm……guys, what are you talking about?”

“I mean that you’ll have plenty of time to atone.” he said, turning to his friend. “Cause after all, that girl’s in our class.”

* * * * *

She opened the door to her room with frantic movements, taking no care to gently close it like she usually does. All of her items spilled to the floor as she crashed into her body, violently kicking her legs up and down in embarrassment. This went on for several minutes before she calmed down enough to open her phone, opening a folder labelled “Monologue.”

「Stupid I’m so stupid I’m so stupid I’m so stupid I’M SO STUPID!

How didn’t I see him?! Why did I crash into him!? These kinds of things aren’t ever supposed to happen in real life! If I wasn’t wearing my STUPID hood, maybe I’d have seen him, but if I don’t then everybody stares at me— IT’S A LOSE LOSE!!」

She hugged a rather large body pillow, pouring a frustrated sigh into its cotton and fluff. When she came back up for air, her entire face was red.

「I don’t know what to do now. He saw all the cards, so I’ll have to get something else.」

Her typing slowed considerably as she stared at the glowing screen.

「I could try anyway. I saw him running with a classmate a few days ago, I think he’s trying to become a better person……it’s nice to have someone encourage you. That’s why I wanted to give him something to help.

That’s also why I don’t think he’d be interested in someone like me…he’s so open and free……and I’m the exact opposite.」

She covered her head with the pillow.

「Maybe if I were prettier. Livelier. Maybe if I talked…」

She tossed her phone to the side as she flipped onto her back. The ceiling was a cool shade of gray, with a picture taped on it. A picture of a time where she could believe in herself a little bit more.

Her attention returned to her phone as it buzzed with a notification.

「Fuyumi:

I think I have a lead on both the absentee student, and the rumors surrounding Ai Hirawa. I hate to ask, but if you’re not busy, do you think you could help me?」

She gave a soft smile, returning to her Monologue folder and adding one final line:

「…but it’s nice to chase your dream. No matter how far.」

Part 4

He was, yet again, drenched in sweat; breathing like someone who’d never done so in his life.

“See…I told you……” said his running partner. “It’s one……step………at a time.”

He pointed behind them, and it was true. Compared to the first day he started, Luka had been able to finish farther and farther, but today that distinction was absolutely clear; a whole street— cleared with his effort of a few days.

“Ha……ha………now if I……could just………do the same………with that girl……”

They took a seat on a nearby bench. Classes wouldn’t start for another hour and a half, so they had plenty of time to catch their breath before heading back. They sat there, watching cars and people alike move by, feeling the petals carried by the warm wind against their skin.

“Running is one thing………apologizing is another.” said Luka, breaking the silence.

“Everyone starts somewhere.”

“No, I mean………this involves another person. It sounds pathetic, but even just apologizing…I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Because?”

“Cause……” Luka was thankful his face was red from running, because he could feel himself blush. “Even if it’s just apologizing……I have no experience talking with girls……”

“Your face is red.”

“It’s the run!” he said indignantly. “Look either way, it involves someone else…she’d probably be creeped out by me anyway……everyone in our class is………”

He counted the cracks in the concrete as he waited for a response, and got to twenty before a sharp, momentary pain struck the back of his head.

“Again?”

“—you’re looking down on yourself.” he said. Luka was surprised by his tone. “If it makes you feel weird, then it’s probably a good thing.”

“You wouldn’t get it,” he said, looking across the street. “The whole class doesn't think you’re annoying, but it’s probably what she thinks of me.”

“She’s not the class.”

He looked to his friend in confusion, and he continued.

“She might think that, but she might not. Either way, apologizing would make anyone feel happy.”

“…………”

“I think there’s a lot of value to an apology. Because it means you won’t make your mistake again.”

“That sounds kind of childish………but I don’t think it’s untrue.” he in an amused sigh. “So…how do I apologize?”

* * * * *

Those thoughts left his mind as soon as he looked up.

“You’re Luka Schafer, right?”

He didn’t need his internal monologue to know the girl in front of him was much too far out of his league. No. Leagues didn’t exist on levels this different. Long waves of hair that layered each other in curls, a gentle smile, a tender face; this girl, for some reason, held a box towards him causing every thought in his mind to crash into a halt. The gift itself was small, no bigger than his hand, with a delicate bow wrapped carefully over the top.

“Y…es?”

“This is for you.”

All around them, students were in furious whispers, though their voices were so low he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

That, and he couldn’t focus on anything else.

After a few silent moments, he realized she was still holding out the gift centered in both of her slender hands, and he took it as though disarming a trap.

“Umm……why tha—I mean, I’m…but why?”

As if he never said anything at all, she smiled, and returned to her seat. The whispers continued around him, but he couldn’t understand; he was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice class ended until a hand shook his shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…I’m……sorry, um, what happened?”

His friend blinked in confusion. “School’s over for the day.”

……….what?

“Were you thinking about the present she gave you?”

“What? N-No of course not.”

Of course I was; but I can’t admit that I spent an entire class envisioning a future together!

“That’s pretty sad you know.”

Do you remember the last time we got a gift from someone who isn’t family?

That seemed to have shut him up.

“………so……does that mean you were able to apologize to the girl you ran into yesterday?”

“You’re pretty sad you know.”

Luka panicked.

“I completely forgot! Is she still here? Maybe I can find her!”

“This reminds me an awful lot about a story my mom told me once.”

“AaAHhhh! Y-Yuuko, we have to find her! Otherwise the guilt’ll eat me alive!”

“Guilt over an accident? It’s not that serious, just do it tomorrow”

“NO, GUILT OVER ENVISIONING OUR LIVES TOGETHER!” he said, running through the door. His voice gradually faded as he ran further and further into the hall. Yuuko gave an empty smile at the situation.

“He couldn’t have run like that last week,” he said to himself. However, his attention turned to a certain girl visible outside the window, she was being picked up by a man who could’ve been her father.

“Envisioning lives together, huh?”

Part 5

Can’t I do something as simple as apologizing?

He knew Yuuko had a point, he could always apologize to her another time, but the burning sensation in his chest wouldn’t let him.

This past week has meant more to him than the past two years; in a handful of days he’d started developing a habit, a habit that let him look up, and for the first time in years he could feel something other than his physical weight dragging him down.

So was this sudden well of energy coming from a desire to keep up that momentum?

He burst outside, nearly over his feet, but quickly rising to scan the area around him. Even if he couldn’t apologize, maybe the intentions of an isolated high school boy could reach her.

“Is that……red hair?” he said, following two people to the back ends of the school. “And that path looks familiar……”

For two years he’d been idle, letting himself be carried along by a current he didn’t even know he was riding; what would become of him if he returned to the place he was?

Of course, he still hated himself. But there was another feeling, a seed that kept growing.

He still hated himself, yes, but for some reason he was beginning to find that he could tolerate himself a little more.

And if that could happen with him………maybe it could happen with others too.

“So, how about it?” asked the boy while his target was against the wall.

“……………”

“Come on,” he said, lifting up her cheek. “If you do, I may just forget about all those pictures of the students you took.”

She was pressed against the wall, eyes shut tight as she turned her head to the side in an attempt to avoid the face that was coming ever closer.

While hugging the camera to her stomach, she began sliding down until a voice in an odd tone rang out.

“By my strength, leave that maiden—!”

Both turned to see a boy with blonde hair in an uncomfortable pose, their silence caused by disbelief.

However, without missing a beat, the boy just sighed and scratched the back of his head, readjusting his stance before—

“—hey, can you please get away from her?”