Wana races to me, looking radiant in her new squire's uniform. Amazingly, the colors and cut match what I saw of her in my vision quest. The same image in which I became a comely Mojave wife in my black dress. It seems two months instead of just two weeks that she has arrived from New York and became my squire. Wana rapidly passed all of her academic tests and is ready for the hard training to be a knight.

However, I am returning to my Mojave tribe with Wana, and Upatu, my other squire and lover, to continue my vision quest and see Kuna, my adoptive mother. Once I have spent sufficient time with the Mojave, we will go straight to the Amazon to help the Kaniwa with their journey to a new homeland. I'll leave my mustang Peggy at Wolf Street, and if I don't make it back, she will become a school horse. Unfortunately, there isn't time to send her down to Manaus and wait until her quarantine is over; instead, I will purchase several horses adapted to the jungle.

~

We fly to Las Vegas, where I rent a truck. We take time eating at an outdoor restaurant on the Strip to allow Upatu and Wana to absorb the Vegas culture shock. Stopping at a clothing store, I buy Upatu a loose black shirt, trousers, and a wide straw hat. Wana and I change into our black skirts and shirts. Together, we look like a cult in all black with tattooed faces. Lady Gray is with us to travel to the Amazon. I drive west into the desert until we find the Keeper's hut. He greets us with open arms, and soon we are cantering all night on three desert hardened mustangs.

We stopped several times to water the horses and arrived at Kuna's hut in the morning. Her herd of goats has swelled due to her sons' efforts, Running Snake and Yellow Hand, in rounding up strays and wild goats. Over the last few years, they have learned their lessons of manhood from Broken Knife. I believe the Chief is falling back in love with Kuna. I hope that is a good thing.

Broken Knife is still a man not to be fooled with, and I won't. He has been friendly to me during my visits, although he still tries to marry me off to his least favorite brave. Kuna warns me that I will never be allowed to leave the tribe if I marry. The old crones also try to get me to marry their sons, some as handsome as Adonis. They are hard to resist.

Crazy Like a Rabbit is a nice enough guy, but he starts flirting with me again, making my teeth grind. I have to push him away three times before he gets the message. Last year he tried to capture my love. He invited me to meet his mother, Hora, who embraced me, and Straight Arrow, his father, who vigorously examined my intentions with his son. I had admitted to him my lack of interest in men or women at the time. Against his father's advice, Crazy like a Rabbit still tried to woo me. I told him three times that I would not marry him. He mopped around for the rest of my stay, and the other men started calling him Broken Heart.

That was last year.

My first business upon arrival is meeting Broken Knife and introducing Upatu. I translate since I speak both Kaniwa and Mojave. Broken Knife's English is near-perfect, but he insists on using Mojave now that I understand it.

"You have been faithful to Kuna and have visited twice a year, although you promised only one time. Perhaps you wish to live among us?"

"Honored Father, I am now a knight as is Two Feathers and must serve the Lion, the man who is my Chief. Upatu is my student."

Broken Knife asks Upatu, and I translate. "You are not a white man; perhaps you come to challenge me as chief?"

"I come from a great forest and have been sent to protect Wachinga and the seed she carries: the seed of our first tree. This I will do."

"You are welcome to our tribe and may come and go as you wish. We will hold council tonight, and you shall attend.

"Honored Father, I ask your permission to receive the rest of my lessons and the secret marks of a Mojave woman?"

Wana speaks out of turn. "Even I, a Mojave woman, will not take on the secret marks, for I have lived among the white men too long."

I look at her with a gimlet eye, "When you are older, you will understand my decision.

Broken Knife says, "After council, I will decide. It will bind you to our tribe forever."

I touch my chin and say, "I am already bound to the Mojave. I believed I would never be able to leave. I have made this the home to which I shall always return. I did this freely when I took on the mark of a Mojave woman." I turn and walk away.

~

In Kuna's hut, I grind corn, and Wana cooks beans for the crowd that will soon show up. Upatu helps with food preparation without being asked. Kuna looks at me. I say, "Kaniwa men help women cook, and Kaniwa women help hunt. Many women hunt."

"He must not help; it is not our way. It will cast him down in the eyes of the braves," Kuna says.

I lead Upatu outside and say, "The young must do as the old say. The women must do as the men say. It is the way. Look to Broken Knife, and you will do well. I must now be that woman."

"I understand. I will be that man." He winks at me as if to say this is only a game. Then, he walks over to talk to Broken Knife.

~

Some members of the tribe arrive, and a goat is slaughtered to roast on the fire pit. That is one cooking job the men do. Sunset comes, meals are finished, and council starts with the women sitting outside the ring of men. All except me. I caution Upatu to sit next to Broken Knife while I sit on his other side, but no brave will sit beside me.

Broken Knife introduces Upatu to every man sitting around the fire pit, an honor I have never received. He asks my squire, and I translate, "Perhaps you have come to marry Wachinga?"

"Honored Chief, I would marry Wachinga as my first wife. I would even marry her as my second wife."

Oh lord… I translated everything for all to hear. The men laugh.

Broken Knife doesn't miss a beat. "Upatu, who would you marry as a second wife?"

My lover looks around at the assembled young women. "I would marry as you advise, but Kaniwa men do not marry a second wife until older. This is because many hunters are killed by boars, and their widows must have a husband."

"We do not permit a second wife," Broken Knife says.

Hypocrite.

To me, he says, "You have heard Upatu's proposal. How would you answer him?"

I answer in Mojave, "I am his teacher. I will not marry him until he is no longer a student…."

Broken Knife interrupts. "That is your answer to me. Tell Upatu in English. He understands more than you think."

I look at Upatu and take his hand. "My affection for you is great. Someday I will marry you, but we can't marry now. You are my student. And it is forbidden for a student in our school to marry. So I will wait until you become a warrior, a knight, and we may freely join in marriage."

Upatu squeezes my hand. "I understand this a long time. Lion tells me it is so. I will wait."

I squeeze his hand back and drop it. I glare at Broken Knife, daring him to say anything. He does.

"Wachinga, when we first met, you could not bear children. Is this still so?"

"Honored Father, Kokopelli has blessed me, and I can bear children."

"Have you slept with another man?"

Another man? "No, I have slept with no man."

Broken Knife smiles and says, "You have proven yourself worthy. I grant your request to receive the secret teachings of a Mojave woman. It is time for Upatu to see if he will have a vision quest. You will also join us in the sweat lodge."

~

The night of tattooing is long and bloody. I receive my lessons from Kuna and my marks from Seja. The use of cactus needles to push the ink under the skin is extra painful, and Seja is not gentle. I wonder if it is because she's Half Hand's mother, but I dismiss that. Perhaps she is reinforcing the point that taking on the secret marks of a Mohave woman is like a marriage, not to be lightly done.

Other crones attend, all removing their shirts so that I might see their secret marks. The marks I will receive consist of a broad stripe around my upper arms, chest, back, and around my upper thighs. Traditionally vertical lines are added, dropping between the upper and lower bands. I ask for diamond points instead of dots between the lines, marking the many children and wives who have died. The pain is to remind me of what I will endure in childbirth. The job is done by morning, and I have learned the obligations of a Mojave woman to protect her children, even if it costs her life.

As streaks of early morning light are evident, the women line up to approach me one by one and offer parting words which I will never forget. Once I am released from them, I seek Upatu in private. "Among the Mojave, women keep their marks secret. Broken Knife must not know the Kaniwa dress is different."

He answers, "I already see this is true, and I will say nothing to your tribe."

We walk to the sweat lodge. On arrival, both Upatu and I are given a spoonful of foul brown soup, and the ceremony begins. When the steam hits my raw tattooed skin, I realize that Broken Knife is still exacting revenge for the jalapeno-laced meal I once gave him. I hear his chuckle in the dark but make no noise and remain still.

The vision starts, and my pain is forgotten. I try to set the seed of Aman on the ground when it splits open in my hands, and its tiny roots emerge. I can't open my hands to drop it, and the roots grow, entangling my fingers. I scream as tendrils burrow into my fingers and around the bones to harden. The pain in the fingers soon eases and crawls up my arms. It is too late; Aman has me. When the tree gave me its seed, it didn't let me go. I am turning into wood, as is my unborn baby! What of the other children in my first vision? Where did they come from?

The vision ends, the lodge is over, and we step into the sun. Upatu smiles and tells me he saw many children, but I brush past him. Kuna must know of my vision. I find her at the well.

She looks concerned and says, "Who is the father of your other children?"

That stops me. I answer, "I don't know, mother; I did not see this."

Kuna purses her lips a minute, then answers, "Kokopelli has already smiled on you, and you will have many children. Did he say who will bear your children?" She spits and says, "Never tell Upatu; whatever happens, he will be hurt."

"Mother, I need Seja to repair the marks washed out by the sweat lodge."

After the tattoos are repaired, somewhat less painful this time, I seek out Broken Knife. And even though I already know, I ask him who is the best archer in the tribe.

"It is Half Hand. Why would you ask?"

"Summon Half Hand, Yellow Hand, and Running Snake. I must teach my two brothers a lesson. And Half Hand still wants to kill me. So I will challenge them with Upatu and Wana at my side." Broken Knife looks at me, probably trying to determine if I'm challenging him. I know I will never be accepted as a chief, but I don't tell him.

Broken Knife decides and says, "I will also ask you for a boon."

"What would you ask of a woman?"

"I have taught Yellow Hand and Running Snake their lessons. Do not destroy them, for I will keep you here if you do. Kuna must be cared for. Half Hand is to be Chief after my waters run out. Teach him humility."

"I will teach him humility, or he will spit on my body as it rots on the ground."

Broken Knife smirks and says, "I will grant you your boon. You now wear the secret marks of a Mojave woman, and I will not let you take your shirt off. You will challenge Half Hand with arrows. We need goats to feed the tribe."

~

Lining up with Upatu and Wana, facing six goats, I start the Kyudo ritual I have practiced for so long. "Ichi," I say, and we line up.

"Ni." We draw an arrow.

"San." Our bows come up high, and arrows are knocked.

"Shi." We lower to position, drawing way back behind our ears, pulling the long arrows to full draw.

"Go." Three arrows let loose, and three goats breathe their last.

Half Hand sneers at me and knocks his longbow. Unfortunately, Yellow Hand and Running Snake are not as disciplined as Half Hand. Three arrows let loose at the Brave's command, but only Half Hand's arrow kills a goat. The other two miss.

"Another goat," demands Half Hand. "One hundred paces. Just me and the chit."

Broken Knife's face hardens, and with a low voice, he says, "Enough goats have been slaughtered to feed all. If another goat dies, the loser will be the poorer for it."

"Agreed," says Half Hand

I look at Kuna, for she must supply the goat. She ever so slightly nods. "Agreed," I say.

A scrawny kid is tied to a stake in the middle of the sparse pasture, and Broken Knife measures off the hundred paces.

Half Hand mocks my tall asymmetric Kyudo bow, "The man who made your bow had a belly full of firewater and was blind in one eye."

I sneer. "When we last met many years ago, it only took a crooked staff to teach you a lesson. The straight-way is not always the best."

We let loose at Broken Knife's command, and our arrows trace their deadly arc towards the tiny animal. Half Hand's arrow flies over while mine lands between its legs.

Don't play with him. Do it now.

Half Hand's second arrow strikes it in the rump, a non-fatal hit. My arrow pierces the lungs and heart. With a twitch, the kid lies dead.

Half Hand snatches my bow and says, "You cheat, witch." He doesn't say any more as Lady Gray pulls loose from the stake restraining her, and kicks the brave. I grab the leash and pull her away before she draws blood, and for the first time, I see fear in Half Hand's eyes. Passing the leash to Upatu, I attack Half Hand to retrieve my bow, kicking the side of his belly. I must do this or be disgraced by the man I once beat. Caught off guard, he staggers, and I slam the heel of my hand into his chest. He staggers more, gasping for air. I know I'm not helping my cause, for surely he will later try to kill me. He comes back at me, swinging my bow as a staff, but Seja steps between us and takes the full force of his blow.

"Go away, chit!" he starts to swing at his mother when three staves come crashing down upon his arms. I don't look at the attackers but grab Seja's arm and pull her away. He starts to attack again, but a staff again comes down on his arm, and another one trips him. His sisters are taking their revenge on Half Hand. The next blow, square on his forearm, causes a sickening pop of bone breaking. My egotistical enemy yells as my bow falls to the ground, and he lands beside it.

Letting go of Seja, I place a foot on the defeated warrior's chest, grab his wrist, and pull to straighten the arm, setting the broken bones back into position. I order one of the sisters to keep it straight. She obeys after a questioning glance, pulling on the hand and bracing herself by placing her foot in his armpit. Half Hand lays still, a terrified look on his face.

Running to Kuna's hut, I retrieve my medicine staff and return. Broken Knife brings up his staff to stop me, but I say, "I will not hurt him. I will not have his blood on my hands. The Chief looks perplexed but backs up. I bring the tip of my staff to bear on Half Hand's broken arm. The magic starts, and coolness works up my arms. Weary and out of fight, I stagger back. His sister failed to hold his arm straight against the pull of twitching muscles; the bones have knitted crooked.

There is a silence among the assembled Mojave, except for children playing and giggling by the pond. I hold up the ironwood staff and say, "This staff was given to me by the First Tree of the Kaniwa. Perhaps I am some sort of witch. I have no magic other than this staff. I must give a part of my life's power to heal. I will leave and bother the Mojave no more."

Broken Knife asks, "Is this magic of the land, of a tree, and not white man's magic?"

"The magic comes from the land," I answer.

"This is good magic. You are not a witch. You have been sent by the spirit of Kokopelli to teach us humility. You shall always be welcome. Seja, has Wachinga learned her secret lessons as a mother?"

"She has faithfully learned her lessons and suffered much pain to have her secret marks made whole after the sweat lodge; she will do her duty."

I ask Broken Knife, "What will become of Half Hand?"

"He will spend time alone to finish his lesson in humility. His sisters have started the lesson. For what he did to Seja, he will be hated as Chief. I must think about this. Perhaps he should stay among the mountains to learn how small he is. What have you done with Yellow Hand and Running Snake?"

"I showed them that they must respect women, even their sisters. It will make them better husbands and fathers. I do not want them to become like Half Hand."

Broken Knife addresses the tribe, "I have heard much testimony. I bless the marriage between Upatu and Wachinga when it is time. Their children may wear marks of the Mojave and the Kaniwa and come and go as they please. Wachinga shall have a new name among the Mojave, Cho Tau Qua." The Chief turns and walks away.

She, man? I ask Wana, "What does Cho Tau Qua mean?

"She Who Speaks as a Man."

I take a deep breath and ask, "What else does it mean?"

Wana grimaces and says, "She Who Will not be Ignored."

Great, another bitchy name. "I think we have worn out our welcome. It is time to go to the Amazon," I say.