《Curious Tales: Assorted Fantastical Fiction》The Gift
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The Gift
“You, sir! Are you ready to change your life forever?”
Mike glanced up from his smartphone and over to the voice that cut through the noise of the mall and the scattered thoughts rattling in his head.
At one of those small booths set up in the center of the mall was a lean, lanky man with platinum hair which fell across his shoulders and a clean goatee. He looked too young for such gray hair, but it seemed to suit him all the same. He wore a pinstriped suit with the collar slightly open and a sharp smile.
“You look like a man who knows what he wants but needs something more to get there. Well, your search ends today!”
For a moment, Mike looked around to make sure the man wasn’t talking to someone else. No one slowed their mall stride or turned their heads.
After clapping his hands together, the man reached out a decisive handshake and announced, “My name is Bill and I’m here to help you!”
Mike crept in and took the man’s shake. The energy of it jostled him out of a stupor he didn’t even know he’d been in.
Bill bowed his head and continued, “I have what you need and it will change your life. Right here…miraculous, marvelous, and economically-priced…is The Gift. Why the simple name you ask? Because such a product needs nothing more. A gift for you, a gift for friends, and a gift to the world.”
He set a small black box on the counter in front of Mike. In silver, bold Helvetica were only the words “The Gift”. Mike squinted and cleared his throat. Before he could ask more, Bill answered for him, “We keep it simple because what’s on the outside is what’s on the inside!”
Popping open the top, Bill slid a small black cube from a cushion of soft packing material and set it on the counter for Mike to inspect.
Looking over at the salesman skeptically, Mike asked, “It’s a cube?”
“It’s the shape of your new and better life!” Bill picked the black cube up and displayed it in his grasp. “The most advanced technology conveniently contained in this little thing to improve every aspect of your daily life. Here. Hold it for a second.”
He held out the cube for Mike. Cautiously, he took it in his hands and cradled it as carefully as the smartphone he’d slipped away in his pocket. It seemed similar in glossiness and had a high-tech feel. Not heavy but not flimsy either.
He thought of one of those wireless speakers the upscale store at the front of the mall sold. Only there were no openings, switches, or ports.
It didn’t reflect much but still didn’t appear bleakly black. It also didn’t hold his fingerprints where he touched. And he noticed something else.
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Since he started holding it, he’d actually started to feel better. A slight cold had been settling into his sinuses, but it was gone. The weather-chapped and achy feeling in his hands had ebbed away like he’d given them a long, warm soak. Beyond those physical effects, his thoughts had also relaxed. The messy line of stuff he still needed to do organized into a neat list and a determination to get it done.
All this receded from him once he returned the cube to Bill. Rubbing his hands, Mike asked, “Is it ions or that magnetic jewelry junk you see on TV?”
Bill chuckled and fanned his hand. “That’s all hogwash! This is the real deal. Solid, grounded science…all proprietary technology I can’t talk about, but I know you can already feel the results. The Gift makes every moment of your life the best moment it can possibly be. If it’s in your home then it’s already working for you. Nothing more you need to do but sit back and enjoy the free benefits.”
With a sigh, Mike asked, “So…how much is it?”
Picking up a pristine, unopened box, Bill announced a price which sounded like one from an informercial with so many nines at the end. Then, he proclaimed, “But I’m going to knock that price in half for you just today! So, why not get two? Why not share this miraculous creation with your friends and family?”
Eventually, Mike settled on getting two. He had older parents with a lot of issues and if whatever this thing did could help them then it would be worth it.
The bag which the Gifts came in was as nice as their boxes. Just having them on his shoulder lifted his spirits so much he didn’t bother distracting himself with his phone.
Bill smiled and watched as Mike receded into the crowd. He shut his eyes. Beneath his lids, he was searching. The sounds, the feelings of it all. Then, he leapt.
“Victor! There you are! Good to see you again!”
A small man approached the stall with his hands balled and a bag clenched at his sides as he announced, “It’s stopped working.”
He set the bag on the counter and glared. The salesman met Victor’s eyes and shook his head, proclaiming, “I am truly sorry to hear that. The expected lifetime of the product is clearly explained on our website. But The Gift works hard at changing your life. Hasn’t it made things better since you bought it?”
Victor brushed back his fair, thinning hair and sighed before admitting, “…Yes. It’s done a lot. I got a promotion, my eyes have gotten better, the aches are gone…were gone. But then it just stopped working! I got scolded at work for no reason and I’m feeling worse than I ever did.”
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Bill shook his head and intoned, “The snapback can be rough, but I have good news. There are always more Gifts out there. These may have run out, but you can recharge with a fresh set. The effects will be better than when you started…and longer-lasting.”
Victor asked simply, “How long?”
Bill clasped his hands. “Unfortunately, it can be difficult to tell. Everyone is different. Often, these little things need to work overtime and can burn out quickly. But you should be good for at least as long as it’s been. No worries at all. You can take that to the bank!”
While Victor wanted to protest, he didn’t feel the same sort of energy he did when the Gifts were working. He needed them working again, no matter what it took. Nodding, he said, “Alright..umm…”
“I’m Rick, your personal advocate for a better life”, the salesman announced. “But don’t worry about my name because your name, Victor, is what matters. Victor, just short of complete…victory. Are you ready to keep the victory of a better life going for you?”
Victor rubbed his head and nodded. “How much again?”
With a finger raised, Rick noted, “Unfortunately, the deal we had last time has run out BUT…because you’re such a great customer, Victor, I’m going to make a special deal for you and only you. If you buy the Gifts you need plus one more I will give you an additional Gift at no extra charge. You will be doubling your benefit…or…stash the extras and you will be ready to go when you need it.”
Waving his hand, Victor agreed and dug his credit card out of his wallet. With his new bag of twice as many Gifts, he wanted to feel the same rush and energy as when he first bought them, but it was only a faint trickle.
During a lull in the crowd, Rick fished the returned Gifts out of the bag Victor had given him. Working behind the counter he packed the returns into fresh boxes and set them on top of the pile.
The lull was brief as smacking, bitter steps advanced from the masses and towards his stall.
Rick didn’t miss a beat. He wore a calm smile for his next customer as he proclaimed, “Ross! Back so soon?”
A tall, bearded man with dark-ringed eyes snapped, “You promised me that they would last! I got extras like you said…and they’re not working either.”
Rick set his hands on the counter and fanned a sympathetic-looking frown for Ross. “Unfortunately, this is a common concern. Have you seen our website?”
Ross clutched his hands and turned a few times. “Yes, I’ve seen the damn site! But all it does is talk about how great it is and how to order it.”
Spreading his palms out, Rick urged, “And have you not seen how great it is first-hand? I remember the day you came here, Ross. I remember how much stress there was in your life. Would you give up the Gift to go back to how things were? Isn’t your life measurably better?”
Ross puffed harshly before asking, “Why doesn’t it last though?”
“By the way…in case you don’t remember from last time, my name is John and you can always come to me for any problems. But, so far as your worries, our technicians are looking into that. We are dealing with the concerns you and a handful of our loyal customers have about the longevity of The Gift. I assure you that it’s our number one concern too. But, as I told you last time, this little guy absorbs all the things you don’t want anymore. It takes away all that bad stuff, but it gets full after a while. When you use a vacuum you have to empty the bag occasionally. I’m sorry to say there isn’t an endless bag for your vacuum and there isn’t an endless Gift either.”
John knew Ross was upset. They were always upset. But they always bought the deal for their next one. He made it a little sweeter this time to cool him off.
There’d been a hot session last week. Brian jumped into a group of three people asking about The Gift and launched into stuff about how it was unnatural and how it hurt people and all that. He even said he was going to file a class-action suit. The noise attracted a few who otherwise would’ve passed the stall on by. Any attention is good attention.
A day later, Brian returned with his head down and his credit card out. They just couldn’t quit.
John cleared out most of his inventory by the end of the day. With the holidays he’d have to order more, especially for return customers. He phoned over to the head office once the crowds had gone.
He kicked his legs back and smiled as Troy picked up.
“Yes, sir?” Troy’s thick, West Midlands accent was clear even with the spotty coverage.
John cracked his neck and passed along, “I need a doubling of normal inventory for the next shipment. High sales today.”
“Yes, sir.”
New locations in Europe would be going up soon. People were ravenous for The Gift there. And then there were the new markets.
“Also pass along to Management that we’re having a higher burn-through rate since they opened up those African and Middle Eastern locations. That shit has to go somewhere.”
“Yes, sir.”
Troy knew to finish the call there so John didn’t need to continue. He reclined with one of the unopened black boxes. He smiled.
War in Ethiopia. Violent unrest in Yemen. Famine in Sudan. New diseases spreading through Nigeria.
He repeated to himself with a smile, “That shit has to go somewhere…and sometimes it comes back around.”
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