Chapter Nineteen: Firelight

“There's so many birds in the trees!” Nova smiles while looking up above at a canopy full of colorful birds, “So pretty!”

I sit down and run a Sharpening Stone across my sword, “I hope Juzo and Eva find water I'm dying right now. We've been in this forest for like a month now.”

“Don't worry we'll be out so-” As she talks I see the bird look at her and take aim, that was the worst mistake of that bird’s short life.

“Oh no.” I say as a large white drop of bird poop falls onto her shoulder with a splat.

She pauses and stares at her shoulder, then her face turns red as she looks above at the bird, “Fireball!” The canopy is covered in flames and the birds fall to the ground charred and black.

“Well looks like we eat good tonight!” I say as I put them into my satchel.

“I really need to wash this off! Eh I guess it can't be helped. Cover me please love.” She unstraps her armor and I scan the treeline for enemies.

“What are you doing?” I say as I quickly glance.

“My Jacket is dirty so I'm just going to wear my armor with no shirt! There see it's fine now!” She looks so strong yet beautiful, I'm awestruck, “Love you're drooling.” She kisses my cheek and smiles, “Come on we have to meet up with them now.”

“Okay okay!” I say as I follow after her, my armor feels heavy. This humidity is killing me no matter what I do to try and avoid it, “A part of me thinks we should've stayed in the Earth Kingdom. Unlimited food, hot steamy baths, battles with monsters invading from the Dark Kingdom, regular temperature.”

“Me too ughhhhhh I just want to take a bath!” Nova yells, as a gust of wind flows through our hair as a tree flies into another tree ahead of us, “I'll rush to help!” Nova jumps high into the air as I use Feint to zigzag through the trees.

“What's going on?!” I yell while holding out my sword.

“Hey sorry! We're playing a game!” Juzo scratches the back of his head and laughs, chopped down trees rest in a pile next to him.

“Yeah! It's so much fun watch!” Eva smiles and focuses her mana, “Wind Club!” A massive club of wind forms and she grips it with two hands, holding it behind her head.

“Here I go!” Juzo picks up a tree with one hand and tosses it at her.

“Hyah!” Eva swings the club and sends the tree flying into the distance, “Home run!” Eva smiles.

“Home run!” Juzo yells, “We don't know what that means but we've been yelling it all day!” Juzo laughs with joy.

“Nova try it!” Eva scoots over next to me as Nova gets in position.

“Okay let's do this! Fire Club!” A club of flame appears in her hands and she holds it behind her head.

“Ready?” Juzo says, grabbing a tree and holding it above his shoulder.

“Yup! Toss it!” Nova yells and Juzo throws it. Nova swings and the tree catches flame and is sent into the distant sky, “Home run!” She screams.

“Hooooommeeee ruuunnn!” Eva yells at the top of her lungs.

“Hooome runnnn wooo!” Juzo yells while looking at the distant sky.

“Woooooh! Home run!” I yell, “Sorry but did you find water? We got a bunch of food.” I ask while licking my dry lips.

“Yeah we did! Here!” Eva reaches into her satchel and hands me a gourd that's filled with water.

“Thank you!” I take a small sip and hand it to Nova who takes some as well.

“Should we make camp here for the night?” Juzo wipes the sweat off of his forehead and looks at the light colors of the setting sun.

“Yeah, what should we do for defenses?” I look around at the trees, how we're in the middle of this endless forest that we've been flying through for weeks with no sign of it ending. The beasts in this area at night are unknown to us, there's only so much preparation we can do.

“I think we should make a trench around us and fill it with fire?” Nova says, scratching her head, “If only I knew how to spit lava! That'd be so cool I could just fill it up!”

“If only our levels were higher we could.” Eva says with a gloomy expression.

“Don't worry! We'll just get stronger!” Juzo says while smiling and taking in a deep breath, “Time to go to work! Umbra make trenches while I chop these trees down!” He sprints to the nearby trees and yells loudly while chopping through them.

“Got it! Focus Slice!” I stand there for the longest time charging my attack and then I swing, causing a large trench in the ground. Juzo tosses the chopped trees in and Nova spams Fireball to light them on fire. I move on to the next side and we repeat the process until there is a large square of flame surrounding us. We sit on our logs around a small fire and laugh as the last rays of sunlight flicker across the sky and then disappear. The sound of crickets chirping and the many twinkling stars up above, the roar of the flames and the soft glow of Nova's face against the firelight, “Thanks for the meat Nova!” Juzo has two birds in his hands and is eating so fast.

“It's no problem! Stupid birds.” Nova smiles and adjusts her jacket.

“Yeah thanks guys!” Eva takes a bite and then takes a sip of water.

“The sky is so beautiful.” I look up above at the many shimmering lights that seem to dance with life, the pitch black surrounding illuminated by the flames, the shadows that seem to sway to and fro on the floor, “Hey guys?”

“Yeah Umbra?” Juzo holds a stick to the flame and looks up at me.

“Let's stay going on adventures together forever please. I'm sure this is what happiness is, just here with my friends out in the vast wilderness with our weapons and each other's company to keep. I couldn't imagine how lonely it would be if I was just in a forest by myself with only my thoughts to keep, I don't know. I'm so grateful to have this life with you. Sorry I'm ranting, I just think that no matter what happens, I want to keep going on these adventures forever.” I throw my stick in the fire and smile, my mind worrying about what might happen if one of them dies, if I become lonely and cold, lost in the vast wilderness of this world.

“Don't worry we'll be together forever!” Juzo gives me a thumbs up.

“We'll go to so many great places with good food!” Nova shoots more flame into the fire and chuckles evilly to herself.

“It'll be so nice!” Eva hums to herself while making little tornados with the fire.

“Thanks everyone, I just worry a lot. They say happiness is temporary and I don't want to lose it. You are my happiness.” I don't know why this pain is filling my heart, this empty hole draining and sucking all of this happiness out of me. Everything feels much darker than it usually is, as if a shadow is covering me. The air becomes harder to breathe and my mind gets dizzy.

“Umbra what's wrong?!” Nova screams.

“Hey!? Hey!? Umbra wake up! Hey stay with me!” Juzo is slapping my face with his massive tree hands, I can't feel it though, I can't feel anything.

“Look…. look... out.” I whisper. I think I whisper. I can't hear much.

“What? What'd you say? There's nothing there!” I try to point but I can't lift my hands. I can't move. I am helpless.

“Shit! Dragon Armor!” The shadows in my mind dance around in battle, everything is dark. I can't do anything. No not Juzo. Please no. What is this? Is this his blood why is he bleeding? Is he okay?

“Eva heal him. Please! Heal him. Eva what are you doing?” Eva why isn't she trying to heal him? Why not? What's she even doing, “Hey Eva? Hey heal Juzo please. He needs to be healed. I don't know any healing spells. Don't you? Don't you have anything? Eva? Hey Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? What's wrong? Hey wake up? What are you doing? Why are you standing over there hurry! Please! Juzo isn't going to make it! Hurry please! Evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Savvee! Juzo! Please! Hurry!” I try shaking her but she won't heal Juzo, maybe if I move her mouth it'll work. I keep trying but she won't say the spell, maybe if I put her head on her body. Wait no what why isn't her head on her body? This isn't right.

“Nova can you help me?” I can't stop trying to put her head on her body but it still won't go on. Where did she go? What is this? Soup? I don't know, “Eva! Eva heal Juzo! Hurry! Juzo where did you go! Juzo! Juzo please!” I look for him in the shadows, the fires are too hot for me to look in them, “Nova! Where are you? Hey! Nova! Hey! What are you doing over there! Help me! I need to heal Juzo! I don't know where Eva is! Help! Love! Please! Help me please! I need! I need help! I don't know what to do! Help! Please! Nova! Why'd we start calling you that again? It was like sun right? Something about light? Why is it so dark here? What's wrong with my eyes? Did I poke them out? Are these them? No these are just egg yolks, why are there egg yolks in my hands? Hey! Nova help Juzo! Please! I can't heal! Please Juzo needs help! Please! I don't know what to do! I don't have any healing spells! Please! Where am I? Where are we? I can't see! It's so dark! Nova! Nova please!”

I can't shake this shadow off, what is this? What is this feeling of sadness? Where is Nova? Where is she? Please I need to hold her. I need her next to me, where is she? I don't know what to do. Please I need her. I need her next to me. Why is my mind melting. What is this? Is this coldness fire? Is this a hand through my chest, “No….Nova? Why? Why?” I throw up blood. I'll have to clean that later. Please what's going on? Please?

“This endless loop, it's your destiny for everything you've done. You don't deserve happiness. You're all alone. You have nobody. You will betray everyone you love. I will never forgive you for what you did. You deserve pain. You don't deserve forgiveness. I will torment you until I run out of mana. This endless loop. Look at the dead bodies of your loved ones. Look at them.” A woman's voice hissed behind my ear. Before me is Juzo, Eva and Nova, I'm forced to watch them die over and over again. They get sliced in half, beaten, clubbed, burned, frozen, melted, exploded, impaled, ravaged, killed over and over again in every way. I can't look away. I can't move. I am helpless. Please someone save me. Please. Please someone come and save me. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Are these tears of blood? Am I drowning in blood? Why is it so warm? What is this feeling. Please someone save Juzo. He needs to be healed. Eva why aren't you healing him? Eva? Please heal Juzo! Eva! Please! Hurry!

I reach out my hands but there's darkness once more. Why are there egg yolks in my hands, “Nova! Nova please help! I can't see! Nova! Hey! Nova! Please! Nova! Help me! Hey! Nova! Help! I don't know why you're not answering! Please! Help me! Please!”

“There is nothing you can do love. I know everything you did. Deus Ex Machina told me. He told me everything, I can't believe I was in love with such a coward. Why? How could you not fight beside Juzo? Why did you leave Eva even though she was begging for you to help her. You could've fought them and saved her! We could have been camping under the stars together! Imagine all of the adventures we could have had?” I see images of our adventures but with Juzo and Eva in them, “This could have been our life if you weren't such a coward! I don't need you anymore! I have Deus. He's everything to me.” Nova? What are you doing? Why are you letting him do that to you? Why? What is happening? This isn't real is it? No please make it stop! I can't take it! I can't take it! Please! No!” My mind breaks. I can't look, the screaming moans, the way her body is moving. No this is too much for me. Please make it stop. Please. Please. I close my eyes. I think I'm dying.

“Looks like I need to restart the loop again. I have enough mana to do this three thousand times. Enjoy the torment Umbra. Enjoy every ounce of happiness I hand you only to take it away. Enjoy it as much as I am.” An evil laugh as I drift back to sleep. I can't stop this.

“There's so many birds in the trees!” Nova smiles while looking up above at a canopy full of colorful birds, “So pretty!”

I sit down and run a Sharpening Stone across my sword, “I hope Juzo and Eva find water I'm dying right now. We've been in this forest for like a month now.”

“Don't worry we'll be out so-” As she talks I see the bird look at her and take aim, that was the worst mistake of that birds short life.

“Oh no.” I say as a large white drop of bird poop falls onto her shoulder with a splat.

She pauses and stares at her shoulder, then her face turns red as she looks above at the bird, “Fireball!” The canopy is covered in flames and the birds fall to the ground charred and black.

“Well looks like we eat good tonight!” I say as I put them into my satchel.

“I really need to wash this off! Eh I guess it can't be helped. Cover me please love.” She unstraps her armor and I scan the treeline for enemies.

“What are you doing?” I say as I quickly glance.

“My Jacket is dirty so I'm just going to wear my armor with no shirt! There see it's fine now!” She looks so strong yet beautiful, I'm awestruck, “Love you're drooling.” She kisses my cheek and smiles, “Come on we have to meet up with them now.”

“Okay okay!” I say as I follow after her, my armor feels heavy. This humidity is killing me no matter what I do to try and avoid it, “A part of me thinks we should've stayed in the Light Kingdom. Unlimited food, hot steamy baths, battles with monsters invading from the Dark Kingdom, regular temperature.”

“Me too ughhhhhh I just want to take a bath!” Nova yells, a gust of wind flows through our hair as a tree flies into another tree ahead of us, “I'll rush to help!” Nova jumps high into the air as I use Feint to zigzag through the trees.

“What's going on?!” I yell while holding out my sword.

“Hey sorry! We're playing a game!” Juzo scratches the back of his head and laughs, chopped down trees rest in a pile next to him.

“Yeah! It's so much fun watch!” Eva smiles and focuses her mana, “Wind Club!” A massive club of wind forms and she grips it with two hands, holding it behind her head.

“Here I go!” Juzo picks up a tree with one hand and tosses it at her.

“Hyah!” Eva swings the club and sends the tree flying into the distance, “Home run!” Eva smiles.

“Home run!” Juzo yells, “We don't know what that means but we've been yelling it all day!” Juzo laughs with joy.

“Nova try it!” Eva scoots over next to me as Nova gets in position.

“Okay let's do this! Fire Club!” A club of flame appears in her hands and she holds it behind her head.

“Ready?” Juzo says, grabbing a tree and holding it above his shoulder.

“Yup! Toss it!” Nova yells and Juzo throws it. Nova swings and the tree catches flame and is sent into the distant sky, “Home run!” She screams.

“Hooooommeeee ruuunnn!” Eva yells at the top of her lungs.

“Hooome runnnn wooo!” Juzo yells while looking at the distant sky.

“Woooooh! Home run!” I yell, “Sorry but did you find water? We got a bunch of food.” I ask while licking my dry lips.

“Yeah we did! Here!” Eva reaches into her satchel and hands me a gourd that's filled with water.

“Thank you!” I take a small sip and hand it to Nova who takes some as well.

“Should we make camp here for the night?” Juzo wipes the sweat off of his forehead and looks at the light colors of the setting sun.

“Yeah, what should we do for defenses?” I look around at the trees, how we're in the middle of this endless forest that we've been flying through for weeks with no sign of it ending. The beasts in this area at night are unknown to us, there's only so much preparation we can do.

“I think we should make a trench around us and fill it with fire?” Nova says, scratching her head, “If only I knew how to spit lava! That'd be so cool I could just fill it up!”

“If only our levels were higher we could.” Eva says with a gloomy expression.

“Don't worry! We'll just get stronger!” Juzo says while smiling and taking in a deep breath, “Time to go to work! Umbra make trenches while I chop these trees down!” He sprints to the nearby trees and yells loudly while chopping through them.

“Got it! Focus Slice!” I stand there for the longest time charging my attack and then I swing, causing a large trench in the ground. Juzo tosses the chopped trees in and Nova spams Fireball to light them on fire. I move on to the next side and we repeat the process until there is a large square of flame surrounding us. We sit on our logs around a small fire and laugh as the last rays of sunlight flicker across the sky and then disappear. The sound of crickets chirping and the many twinkling stars up above, the roar of the flames and the soft glow of Nova's face against the firelight. “Thanks for the meat Nova!” Juzo has two birds in his hands and is eating so fast.

“It's no problem! Stupid birds.” Nova smiles and adjusts her jacket.

“Yeah thanks guys!” Eva take a bite and then takes a sip of water.

“The sky is so beautiful.” I look up above at the many shimmering lights that seem to dance with life, the pitch black surrounding illuminated by the flames, the shadows that seem to sway to and fro on the floor, “Hey guys?”

“Yeah Umbra?” Juzo holds a stick to the flame and looks up at me.

“Let's stay going on adventures together forever please. I'm sure this is what happiness is, just here with my friends out in the vast wilderness with our weapons and each other's company to keep. I couldn't imagine how lonely it would be if I was just in a forest by myself with only my thoughts to keep, I don't know. I'm so grateful to have this life with you. Sorry I'm ranting, I just think that no matter what happens, I want to keep going on these adventures forever.” I throw my stick in the fire and smile, my mind worrying about what might happen if one of them dies, if I become lonely and cold, lost in the vast wilderness of this world.

“Don't worry we'll be together forever!” Juzo gives me a thumbs up.

“We'll go to so many great places with good food!” Nova shoots more flame into the fire and chuckles evilly to herself.

“It'll be so nice!” Eva hums to herself while making little tornados with the fire.

“Thanks everyone, I just worry a lot. They say happiness is temporary and I don't want to lose it. You are my happiness.” I don't know why this pain is filling my heart, this empty hole draining and sucking all of this happiness out of me. Everything feels much darker than it usually is, as if a shadow is covering me. The air becomes harder to breathe and my mind gets dizzy.

“Umbra what's wrong?!” Nova screams.

“Hey!? Hey!? Umbra wake up! Hey stay with me!” Juzo is slapping my face with his massive tree hands, I can't feel it though, I can't feel anything.

“Look…. look... out.” I whisper. I think I whisper. I can't hear much.

“What? What'd you say? There's nothing there!” I try to point but I can't lift my hands. I can't move. I am helpless.

“Shit! Dragon Armor!” The shadows in my mind dance around in battle, everything is dark. I can't do anything. No not Juzo. Please no. What is this? Is this his blood why is he bleeding? Is he okay?

“Eva heal him. Please! Heal him. Eva what are you doing?” Eva why isn't she trying to heal him? Why not? What's she even doing, “Hey Eva? Hey heal Juzo please. He needs to be healed. I don't know any healing spells. Don't you? Don't you have anything? Eva? Hey Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? Eva? What's wrong? Hey wake up? What are you doing? Why are you standing over there hurry! Please! Juzo isn't going to make it! Hurry please! Evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Savvee! Juzo! Please! Hurry!” I try shaking her but she won't heal Juzo, maybe if I move her mouth it'll work. I keep trying but she won't say the spell, maybe if I put her head on her body. Wait no what why isn't her head on her body? This isn't right.

“Nova can you help me?” I can't stop trying to put her head on her body but it still won't go on. Where did she go? What is this? Soup? I don't know, “Eva! Eva heal Juzo! Hurry! Juzo where did you go! Juzo! Juzo please!” I look for him in the shadows, the fires are too hot for me to look in them, “Nova! Where are you? Hey! Nova! Hey! What are you doing over there! Help me! I need to heal Juzo! I don't know where Eva is! Help! Love! Please! Help me please! I need! I need help! I don't know what to do! Help! Please! Nova! Why'd we start calling you that again? It was like sun right? Something about light? Why is it so dark here? What's wrong with my eyes? Did I poke them out? Are these them? No these are just egg yolks, why are there egg yolks in my hands? Hey! Nova help Juzo! Please! I can't heal! Please Juzo needs help! Please! I don't know what to do! I don't have any healing spells! Please! Where am I? Where are we? I can't see! It's so dark! Nova! Nova please!”

I can't shake this shadow off, what is this? What is this feeling of sadness? Where is Nova? Where is she? Please I need to hold her. I need her next to me, where is she? I don't know what to do. Please I need her. I need her next to me. Why is my mind melting. What is this? Is this coldness fire? Is this a hand through my chest, “No….Nova? Why? Why?” I throw up blood. I'll have to clean that later. Please what's going on? Please?

“This endless loop, it's your destiny for everything you've done. You don't deserve happiness. You're all alone. You have nobody. You will betray everyone you love. I will never forgive you for what you did. You deserve pain. You don't deserve forgiveness. I will torment you until I run out of mana. This endless loop. Look at the dead bodies of your loved ones. Look at them.” A woman's voice hissed behind my ear. Before me is Juzo, Eva and Nova, I'm forced to watch them die over and over again. They get sliced in half, beaten, clubbed, burned, frozen, melted, exploded, impaled, ravaged, killed over and over again in every way. I can't look away. I can't move. I am helpless. Please someone save me. Please. Please someone come and save me. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Are these tears of blood? Am I drowning in blood? Why is it so warm? What is this feeling. Please someone save Juzo. He needs to be healed. Eva why aren't you healing him? Eva? Please heal Juzo! Eva! Please! Hurry!

I reach out my hands but there's darkness once more. Why are there egg yolks in my hands, “Nova! Nova please help! I can't see! Nova! Hey! Nova! Please! Nova! Help me! Hey! Nova! Help! I don't know why you're not answering! Please! Help me! Please!”

“There is nothing you can do love. I know everything you did. Deus Ex Machina told me. He told me everything, I can't believe I was in love with such a coward. Why? How could you not fight beside Juzo? Why did you leave Eva even though she was begging for you to help her. You could've fought them and saved her! We could have been camping under the stars together! Imagine all of the adventures we could have had?” I see images of this month's adventure, “This could have been our life if you weren't such a coward! I don't need you anymore! I have Deus. He's everything to me.” Nova? What are you doing? Why are you letting him do that to you? Why? What is happening? This isn't real is it? No please make it stop! I can't take it! I can't take it! Please! No!” My mind breaks. I can't look, the screaming moans, the way her body is moving. No this is too much for me. Please make it stop. Please. Please. I close my eyes. I think I'm dying.

“What a shame, three thousandth time's the charm. Lucky for you it looks like I'm out of mana. Don't forget to give the childhood version of yourself and friends Nethershard Earrings through a clone. I will see you again Umbra.” The tall woman waves at me as she walks away into the darkness. I know that walk.

“Eva?! Eva what has happened to you?!” I scream. She turns around and stares at me with a gloomy expression.

The rising sun hurts my face, for not being under the cover of the lush canopy anymore, I must hurry and pack my things to continue my journey, the emptiness caused by my dream causes an indescribable pain in my core so I reach out to my anchor of sanity, of happiness in this world, “Embra, you there?” The volcano in the distance helps me know I'm still alive. Juzo, Eva I'm sorry I was such a coward. I'm going to make this world better. I'm going to prevent everything, I'm going to have us have happy adventures. I'll guide these young Adventurers to become strong and live the life I always wanted. Everything will be better. I promise.