When Livia opened her eyes she was in a hospital. A stream of curses flooded from her mouth. She hated hospitals. No, loathed. No, abhorred. There weren’t words strong enough to express exactly how much she hated hospitals. She’d gotten some kind of infection when she was little and needed an IV. She had tried to refuse and ended up breaking the nose of the nurse who held her down. Doctors were awful at figuring out what was wrong with her. Once, it had taken three weeks for them to figure out she’d broken her arm. By then they had to rebreak her arm and reset the bone.

Choked laughter made her aware she wasn’t alone in the room. She turned. Hortensius was trying to hold back his amusement and failing. Dr. Marcus Tullius watched her with an expressionless face but his eyes were lit with a soft amusement.

“If it’s any comfort,” Dr. Tullius drawled. “We’re not thrilled you’re in here either. We’d much prefer you had avoided any injury.”

Livia snorted. “Right, I’m sure you’ll be happy with your bank account after I’ve been here the sixth time and you still can’t figure out what is wrong with me.”

“Is that how things usually go for you?” he asked.

Livia turned away from him and glared resentfully at the wall. “Just make sure I don’t have any broken bones,” she muttered.

“Funny you say that,” he said. “Hortensius insists that you’re only bruised but I want to recommend an x-ray to make sure. Will you consent to my precautionary recommendation? ”

Livia turned her head back around to study Dr. Tullius. “Consent?”

She didn’t remember ever having this type of conversation with a doctor before. Usually, he talked with her mom and mom texted Hyrum. Mom always ended up doing what Hyrum said even if Livia disagreed. It used to make her furious, but mom wasn’t here and neither was Hyrum.

Marcus Tullius nodded. “Yes, you’re over the age of eighteen and in charge of your own medical decisions. If you’d like to counsel with your family we can arrange for you to communicate with them--”

Livia shook her head. “No. I don’t want them involved. Yes, I’d like an x-ray of anything you think is broken.”

He nodded, pleased. “Hortensius, please take Livia to get her x-rays. Then set her up with an IV after you’ve returned. We’ll take things from that point.”

Livia eyed Hortensius.

He teased her. “Liv, you’ve never looked at me so mistrustfully before.”

She huffed. “The last person who gave me an IV ended up with a broken nose--”

He laughed. “How recently was this?”

Livia thought. “I was six? Seven?”

He grinned at her. “Hopefully, you’re a more cooperative patient today?”

Livia agreed, genuinely worried. “I hope so too.”

“Hey, it’s all grand to be Taurus until you get injured. We know how it is around here, okay? We’ll be good to you.”

Livia swallowed against the tightness in her throat and nodded.

“Liv,” Hortensius asked. “Are you in any pain? Dr. Tullius didn’t think you’d need any interventions but I can get some meds for you if you’re hurting.”

“Meds don’t really ever work,” Livia’s voice wobbled.

“We have a couple of specific combinations that work for Taurus house. We’ve experimented a lot since Dr. Tullius took over and we now have effective methods. Are you in pain?”

“It’s just hot. And I feel sick--” she whispered.

“Alright, we’re gonna start off without drugs first. Taurus respond well to ice. It’ll take about three minutes to get a bucket in here.”

Livia didn’t expect the size of the bucket they brought in. It was huge and the nurse who brought it in helped Hortensius shovel it into plastic bags and tie them off. They laid a thin linen blanket over her body then settled the ice down the entirety of her left side.

The chill against her skin sent a wave of comfort spiraling through her. Livia’s eyes filled with tears and she was embarrassed that she couldn’t repress them. They spilled down her cheeks and into her hair.

“Aw, Liv,” Hortensius said, gently. “It’ll be alright. I’m gonna call up some meds. Okay? It’s gonna take longer but the ice should hold you over--”

“I’m okay,” she choked, through her emotion.

“Nah,” he said. “It's the protocol to medicate Taurus if icing produces emotional distress. Means you’ve been in pain too long.”

“What--what are you giving me?” she asked.

“We’ll start with a muscle relaxer. That usually helps and then we’ll add a mood stabilizer to keep you happy.”

“A mood stabilizer?” Livia asked. “Are you giving me morphine?”

“No, they’re anxiety meds. Dr. Tullius will need to sign off on which one he wants to give you. This is the bad part about you not growing up in Caesarea. Most Taurus women know by this age which ones they respond well too--”

“What happens if I don’t respond well?” Livia asked.

“You’ll cry. Hysterically. Usually, we’ll administer a sleeping med if you can’t calm down after an hour or two. We prefer that to restraining Taurus. They hurt themselves and break our equipment if they flip into a rage.”

“I thought only men did that--”

“No, women do too under the right circumstances but we’re going to treat you too well for that to happen, alright?” Hortensius said. “We know what we’re doing here. We aren’t going to hurt you and we aren’t going to allow you to hurt us.”

Livia hoped he was right. Dr. Tullius ended up coming in with the nurse to deliver the meds.

“Icing produced tears?” he asked.

“Yep,” Hortensius said.

“How’s the ice feel, Livia?” Dr. Tullius asked.

“It feels good,” she said. Then two more tears ran down her cheeks.

“That’s good.” His kind hazel eyes peered directly into hers. “I’m going to get you better as fast as I can, promise. Hang in there.”

Dr. Tullius turned to Hortensius. “I’m going to hold off on administering an anxiety med until after the x-ray, Hortensius. If she has a fracture somewhere we’ll administer it immediately. I’ll have the nurses waiting in here for when you come back. If she only has contusions we’ll stick with the muscle relaxers. I’ve called down and Clara will be waiting at the rad desk.”

Hortensius grunted. “Good.”

“Livia,” Dr. Tullius looked at her. “Do you want me to invite your brothers to be in here when you get back? They’re both in the waiting room.”

Livia shook her head frantically. Dr. Tullius looked concerned by her refusal. “You’re always allowed to ask for them to come in.”

Livia shook her head. “Hyrum will try to tell me what to do. I don’t want him involved. I want to decide what happens to me.”

Dr. Tullius nodded. “I understand. I will tell them they are not permitted until our treatment course is completed.”

Hortensius spoke up. “Liv, Justin is training some new recruits in the ER today. We could page him to come down. Would you like to see him?”

Livia hesitated. She wanted to be strong enough to say no but she wasn’t. Her emotions betrayed her. “Yes,” she nodded. “Yes.”

Dr. Tullius looked at the nurse. “Will you please make sure Justin gets contacted in the ER department?”

“Yessir,” she said.

The Clara Dr. Tullius mentioned was none other than Clara Porcius. Her black hair was smoothed back in a high ponytail and she wore a set of scrubs. She greeted Livia with a wry grin.

“Well, if it isn’t the Bellatrix of Taurus house,” she drawled quietly.

Livia laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm doing an internship here for school credit."

Livia nodded. She'd done a similar internship under TARP. "How's it going?"

"Pretty great," she said.

"You like it?"

"Yeah."

"I liked my TARP internship too," Livia said.

"Word is you were better than most experienced people they hire," Clara said.

"They're the only people that like me here," Livia looked away.

"You okay if I go let the techs know we're here?" Hortensius asked.

Clara smiled at him. "Yeah, we're good. I'll keep her comfortable."

"Great," Hortensius said and stepped away.

Clara returned her attention back to Livia. "What happened with the fight today? You didn't have someone picked out to kiss you?"

“Tavian was supposed to kiss me.”

Clara’s nose scrunched up. "Your ex messed that up.”

“He’s an idiot,” Livia agreed.

“Is it true he was dating someone else?”

Livia nodded.

"Lame," Clara said. "When you get back from school we should hang out."

"You'd hang out with me?" Livia asked.

"Yeah," Clara said.

"You wouldn't hang out with me last year," Livia said.

Clara sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I should have given you a chance. I see that now, but...you know...people change their minds."

"Sure, we'll hang," Livia agreed.

Clara smiled. "Good."

There was silence. Then Clara asked, “Is it true Gaius and Lauretta will divorce?”

Livia closed her eyes. The divorce had been made official the previous evening. “Yes, and he arranged to cheat her out of the property she would have gotten in the settlement.”

Clara snorted. “It’s what she deserves. Lauretta’s disloyal to Taurus house and more concerned with her family’s interests. She sabotaged the relationship between Gaius and the Taurus plebs from the very beginning.”

Livia opened her eyes. “I-I didn’t know.”

Clara said, “I assumed you had the same attitude as her at first. But when you told Gaius off I realized you were just as frustrated as the rest of us.”

Livia hadn’t realized that her reception by the plebian factions in the house were influenced by the actions Lauretta had taken. It was relieving to know that not everything was her fault. There was also a tiny bit of hope that things might get better with Lauretta gone.

Hortensius returned. "Alright, they should call us back any ti--"

A woman came out and called Livia’s name.

“Time for your x-rays,” Hortensius said. “Let's get this done."

The x-rays went smoothly and whatever drug she’d been given had kicked in. Livia’s body felt light and limp. Her thoughts drifted through her head, hazy and soft. Hortensius bid Clara farewell.

"Call me next time you're in town, Liv," Clara called.

Livia gave her a lazy wave that looked so lame that both Hortensius and Clara laughed.

Justin sat in a chair along the wall outside her room. He stood when Hortensius wheeled her near.

“How are you feeling, Liv?” Justin asked.

“Floaty,” a spacey quality had transformed her voice.

Hortensius and Justin chuckled as they maneuvered her back into her room.

Hortensius grinned at her. “I’m going to pull your ice now the drugs have kicked in.”

He started removing the bags of ice they had packed around her. Justin approached the opposite side of her bed. “They treating you well, Livia?”

“I think so,” she answered.

“Well, you’re allowed to complain, alright?” Justin said, patting the back of her hand.

“Justin, did I--” Livia stopped, unsure if asking the question would make her sound crazy. But everything was starting to feel fuzzy.

“Did you what, Liv?” Justin encouraged.

“Did I kiss Corvin?”

He laughed. “Yes, you did, Liv.”

“I remember thinking I’d hit my head when he started walking out. He did walk out, right?”

“Yes, he did come to get you off the field,” Justin said.

“I don’t remember how I got here,” Livia said.

“You weren’t conscious. You fainted,” Justin said.

“Is he mad at me?”

Justin’s brow furrowed. “Are we talking about Corvin still?”

“Yes, is Corvin mad at me?”

“I don’t think so. He’s out in the waiting room with your brothers.”

“He is?” Livia asked.

“Yeah, he won’t go home until he knows you’re okay.”

Livia let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. “He’s a good friend.”

“You falling asleep, Livia?” Justin asked.

“Maybe,” she whispered.

“You tired?” Hortensius asked.

“Umhmm,” she nodded.

Hortensius said, “Well, I’m going to get you started on an IV. Stay just the way you are and it’ll be easy and quick.”

Livia's eyes opened when she felt a pinch on the back of her hand. She looked at Hortensius.

He smiled. “You’re done. We’re gonna run some fluids into you. Nothing funny. We just need you really hydrated before we start healing.”

Livia didn’t know how long they waited for Dr. Tullius because she drifted in and out of a light sleep.

When he returned he was grinning. “I have good news. Hortensius was right. No broken bones. Healing should go easy and you’ll be home tonight.”

“Excellent,” Hortensius stood. “Let’s do this then.”

He made Livia turn on her side. Justin got the honor of holding a bowl in front of Livia’s face. Livia knew the healing started when a tingling started deep in her hip. The sensation made her stomach lurch and she pulled the bowl closer to her face. Sweat broke out on her forehead but she didn’t gag. Not until Hortensius healed her bruised ribs, then the odd tingling sensation made her heave the contents of her stomach into the bowl.

“You’re doing great, Liv. There’s a nasty bruise on your shoulder and then we should be done.”

Livia ended up heaving into the bowl a second time. Healing was not especially pleasant. The cold sweat had migrated to the back of her neck and her palms.

Hortensius had to leave to help another patient but Justin stayed with Livia as she waited for the wooziness to pass. She was grateful for the familiar sound of his voice and his steady presence. After fifteen minutes, Justin urged Livia to sit up and drink some water.

“I think...I should warn you about the gossip,” Justin said.

“The gossip?” Livia asked.

Justin inhaled and pulled a chair over from the wall. He settled into it when he’d positioned it directly opposite her. “Everyone assumes you're dating Corvin.”

Livia blinked at him. “Cause of the kiss?”

“Yes...and other things.”

Livia closed her eyes. “I was photographed with him when we walked into the parade together.”

“That’s not really what kicked things off--” Justin drawled. “It was how he greeted you before the match.”

“Before the match?” Livia asked, confused. “What’d he do?”

“He didn’t greet you formally--” Justin said.

“Oh. Oh, you mean the chin thing?” Livia asked. “Isn’t that an insult or--”

Justin laughed. “No, Livia. It means you’re dating. Are you? Are you dating him?”

“No. But he’s used to not greeting me like that because of school and work before that.”

“Okay, that’s what he said but he knows better. He knows people would assume you were dating. So I wondered if...perhaps he had tried to reveal it when you didn’t want him to?”

“No, we’re not dating,” Livia insisted.

“Okay, I believe you, Livia,” Justin said easily. “But...is there anything you want to tell me? I confess to being really curious.”

“About what?” Livia asked.

“If there’s anything between you and Corvin? He’s out in the waiting room--” Justin gestured.

“That’s just the type of person he is--”

“No,” Justin shook his head. “He’s the type of person who’d want to avoid people spreading rumors. Typically, he’d keep his distance in case he accidentally conveyed an interest in you. He’s careful about that sort of thing. So careful that he wouldn’t be sitting in a public waiting room to hear that you’d recovered unless he was in a committed relationship with you.”

Livia shook her head, confused. “No.”

“Then I suspect he likes you,” Justin said, simply.

Livia thought deeply about that. “I wonder if it’s that thing I said to him--”

“What did you say to him?”

Livia cleared her throat. “I told him I wouldn’t be his friend unless he agreed to be my friend everywhere and in front of everybody. That I wouldn’t tolerate him acting like a different person at school and in Caesarea.”

Justin’s mouth slowly turned up in a pleased grin. “Really?”

Livia explained, “So, he’s just being a good friend.”

“Clearly,” Justin half laughed. Livia got the feeling that he didn’t believe her even though he said he did.

“Is there a point to this conversation?” Livia snapped.

Justin sighed and stood up. “I’ll let Corvin and your brothers know you’re alright. You know you can contact me if you need anything?”

“Yes,” Livia said.

He nodded to her. “You fought well today. I’m proud of you, Livia.”

“Thank you.”

Then Justin walked out of the hospital room.

Livia had hoped that Corvin would come in with her brothers but he didn’t. Hyrum and Lucas fussed over her. She asked if Corvin was with them. Hyrum reported that he left as soon as Dr.

Tullius came out and told them she’d be fine.

A nurse came in and gave them Dr. Tullius’ discharge orders--lots of water and sleep--and then checked them out of the clinic.

“You won an award,” Lucas told her on the way home.

“Did you?” she asked.

“Yeah, but yours is better.” He laughed.

“What is it?”

“Usually, it's called primus bellator. Since you're a girl it will be prima bellatrix. It goes to the warrior who gets the most ‘kill’ hits in the game.”

Livia laughed. Lucas and Hyrum fed Livia and sent her straight to bed when they got home. She took a quick shower and slipped into her bed. She didn’t wake until late morning the next day. She took a hot bath and got dressed. When she came into the kitchen in search of food she almost felt like her normal self again.

Lucas was sitting at the bar and looking at his phone. When Livia pulled out a frying pan, he abandoned his phone and confronted her.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I want an omelet,” Livia said.

“Well, go sit down. I’ll make it for you,” he said.

Livia glared at him. “I’m fine, Lucas.”

Lucas glared right back. “How about we err on the side of caution when it comes to your health, Liv?”

Livia huffed. “I can cook an omelet.”

“So can I,” he argued.

So, Lucas made Livia an omelet even though she bickered with him the entire time he did it. Then he set the plate of hot food in front of her with a fork. She took a bite and her eyes teared up.

“Does it really taste that bad?” Lucas sighed, defeated.

Livia shook her head. “It’s good.”

“What’s wrong then?” he asked.

Livia sniffed. “It’s nice to have someone do something for me.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “Liv, you’re impossible.”

“Thanks,” she choked.

He came around the counter and ruffled her hair. “Thanks for fighting with me yesterday. I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s okay not to be fine, Liv,” Lucas said.

“But I am. I’m fine,” she insisted.

“I’ll be back to check on you in an hour,” he pulled a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water. Then set it down next to her plate. “Don’t forget to drink some water.”

Livia muttered at him resentfully and he laughed as he walked into the next room.

Livia decided to take a chance on checking Tabula. She figured if Justin was warning her she might need to know what was going on. She pulled up her account. A distorted pinging sounded as the program tried to notify her of over 300 notifications all at once.

Instantly overwhelmed, Livia almost shut down the window and walked away. Livia browsed before she read deeply and found that professional photos of the reenactment were posted. There were a lot of Livia as she’d fought the longest and they were all embarrassing. She had dirt on her face, sweat pouring off her temples, her hair was askew, and the worst? She looked like she was wearing a potato sack. She tied up the stupid stola and made herself look ridiculous.

Livia pressed her palms to her burning cheeks to cool them down. When the strategy didn’t work, Livia downed the water Lucas set down in front of her instead. Having partially restored her composure, she continued browsing. She ran into the photos of her with Corvin.

There was photographic evidence of her wrapped up in his crimson cloak, his lips pressed to hers. Livia couldn’t stop staring at the image. His red cloak swept to her ankles so she didn’t look like she was in a potato sack anymore. Her crazy hair was tamed under Corvin’s long fingers, as he cradled her face between his palms. There was something so tender in Corvin’s entire countenance and so eager in hers. If she’d seen that photo of someone else and they tried to explain they weren’t dating, Livia wouldn’t believe them.

Livia swallowed at the anxiety that tightened her throat. She’d revealed her secret to everyone. She liked Corvin. Livia went to Corvin’s page to see a bunch of their SARP associates and his family leaving thrilled comments that they were dating. Corvin had gone through and responded to each one clarifying that they weren’t dating. Livia realized many of the comments on her page were the same, congratulations. They’d been sitting there for days and she hadn’t responded. It struck her in a moment how awful that looked. Corvin refuted they were dating right and left on his page and Livia remained silent. Panicked, she went through each comment and did the same thing Corvin did. It took her over an hour and by the time she was done she had sweaty palms and a racing heart.

She was still recovering when her phone rang. She answered without looking at the screen. “Hello?”

“Livia,” Corvin’s warm-toned voice traveled through the phone. “I need to see you. Are you up for that?”

Livia thought she’d have a heart attack. She clutched the fabric of her shirt in her fist. Why was he calling? Was he mad? Should she agree to see him?

“T-tonight?” she stuttered.

“If you’re feeling alright? I understand if you’re not up to it.”

Frantic thoughts pinged through Livia’s brain. Sometimes you had to confront people’s anger. Right now, Hyrum and Lucas were here. If Corvin wanted to have it out, she preferred to do it when her brothers were around to back her up. Maybe insisting on her own terms would be enough to discourage him from coming in the first place.

“I’m only up for it if you come to me. I’m not up for going out,” she said.

“So, if I bring over ice cream?” he said this with a casual tone.

Livia hesitated. She hadn’t intimidated him. Was she ready to do this?

“Liv, you there?” Corvin asked.

She rushed to fill her silence. “That’d be fine.”

“I’ll see you at 7:00,” he said.

Before Livia could figure out a way to change plans, he ended the call. That evening, Livia had dinner with the family. Afterward, she kept looking at the clock and then finding something to clean.

“Stop that,” Hyrum snapped at her. “You’re supposed to rest.”

Livia glared at him. Staying busy was the way she dealt with her anxiety and she was super anxious about Corvin coming over.

“What’s going on with you?” he asked.

“I have someone coming over at 7.”

“Who?” Hyrum asked.

“Corvin.”

Caecilia's gaze immediately focused on Livia. “Is there something wrong?”

“No...just eating ice cream,” Livia said.

Caecilia’s eyes narrowed, suspicious. “Whatever you say, Liv.”

Livia sighed. She didn’t blame Caecilia. She didn’t believe herself. Livia didn’t know what to do. There was dust on the black splash. Livia found a rag and went to rinse it under the water.

“Go rest,” Hyrum barked.

Livia gave him a pleading look. He only glared and she had to abandon the rag in the sink. It was 20 mins of eternity until the doorbell rang. Livia rose to answer the door but Hyrum beat her to it.

“Corvin.” Hyrum greeted him with a handshake. “Nice to see you.”

Corvin grinned. “We seem to keep missing each other, right?”

“Life has been crazy.” Then Hyrum added wryly, “But you don’t seem to have the same trouble with Livia.”

“I’ve heard Caecilia has been better?” Corvin said, side-stepping that conversation.

Livia’s face flamed with embarrassment. How could Hyrum say something like that?

“Yes.” Hyrum nodded. “Cil!”

Caecilia stepped out of Hyrum’s study and greeted Corvin with a hug. “Hey, Corvin.”

“You look wonderful,” Corvin told her.

Caecilia snorted. “Pregnant, you mean.”

Corvin’s face lit with playfulness. “Wonderful, I mean.”

Caecilia playfully smacked his arm. “It’s good to see you.”

“I’m happy you are doing better. Mom was worried about you,” Corvin said.

“She called me,” Caecilia said. “Always so encouraging and kind.”

“You let us know if you need anything,” Corvin said. “We’d be happy to help.”

Caecilia looked down. “Oh, that is so kind.”

“I mean it,” Corvin said.

Caecilia shook her head. “You’re all so busy--”

“But not too busy to help you through this pregnancy,” Corvin said. “I’ll be gone soon but I am sure the girls would run to help. The little ones are older now. Verity is in kindergarten. Mom would appreciate the companionship.”

Caecilia drew her chin back. “Is she lonely?”

“Few people understand the pressures of being materfamilias but you’d come fairly close,” Corvin said.

Caecilia nodded. “I’ll call her?”

“Please, do. She needs friends,” he said.

“Hyrum and I will be in the study here,” Caecilia said. “Feel free to interrupt if you and Liv need anything.”

“Thank you,” Corvin said. Then he looked at Livia.

Caecilia pulled Hyrum into the study with her and closed the door, not entirely. It hung slightly ajar. Livia met Corvin’s gaze across the entranceway. A spark lit in his eyes when he saw her. Livia tried to interpret what that meant. Then he stepped toward her and scattered all her thoughts completely.

There was something about the way his body moved in a pair of jeans that sent butterflies dancing inside her. Goosebumps raised on her forearms in anticipation of his touch. Livia honestly didn’t know if she was excited or scared and that made her flinch back when he lifted his arms for a hug.

Corvin froze. His face adopted his blank mask. “Still sore, Liv?”

“I-I’m not sure,” she said honestly, looking down.

His expression didn’t change and he lifted the grocery bag he brought with him. “Want some ice cream?”

Livia looked at it. “What type is it?”

It was Corvin’s turn to be flustered. “I didn’t know what flavor you liked,” he said, pulling it open so she could look inside. “So, I got those single-serve ones in a bunch of different flavors.”

Livia smiled. “Clever.”

“Glad you think so,” he said. “Wasn’t sure how you’d interpret it...”

Did Livia see a flash of insecurity on his face? She must have imagined it. “Let me get some spoons.”

“How was your day?” Corvin asked as they took their first bites. Livia had selected chocolate. Corvin had selected salted caramel.

Livia wasn’t certain how to react to how normal and friendly Corvin was acting. She’d expected him to be simmering with anger and frustration. Instead, he was calm and relaxed. “It was boring. Lucas and Hyrum won’t let me do anything.”

“You’ll be back to normal soon enough,” Corvin said. “Why not take advantage of the time to rest?”

Livia shrugged. “Gotta keep up my reputation and all--”

Corvin laughed. “I think you’ve thoroughly established your reputation.”

“And yet,” Livia muttered. “You’re still here to yell at me.”

Corvin did a double-take. “Yell at you?”

“Of course, you’re angry.”

Corvin looked confused and Livia tried to figure out if it was an act or not. “Why would I be angry?"

“I distracted attention from your father’s speech.”

Corvin waved a hand to dismiss that. “We went over that mess with Gaius. I think the consequences were severe enough to change the way he acts from now on.”

“And Bella?” Livia challenged.

Corvin looked displeased. “What about her?”

“She’s--I’m her friend?” Livia said.

“Are you?” Corvin asked, an eyebrow raised.

Livia sighed. “She is mad at me.”

“Cause she’s jealous of our relationship,” Corvin agreed. “But that's her problem, not ours.”

Livia sighed. “How do I fix it?”

“You can’t. She’s blaming you for something you can’t fix,” Corvin said. “Even if you decided to never speak to me again I still wouldn’t get back together with Bella.”

“So…”

“She’s going to have to get over it,” Corvin said, shrugging. “You might have to wait for her to be ready to be friends again.”

“But you're not angry with me over it?”

Corvin sighed. “Livia, I don’t have any reason to be angry over it. If anything, it’s you who should be angry with me. Are you?”

Livia’s feelings swirled inside her and a thread of anger was there. “You waited in the hospital to see if I was alright but you didn’t come to see me? If you weren’t angry why did you do that?”

Corvin took a couple of deep breaths. That vulnerable look flashed across his features again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted me. I had to leave, though.”

“To where?” Livia demanded.

“Cassia’s parents hold a memorial every year on the anniversary. I went.”

Livia’s chin drew back in surprise. “You were at the graveyard?” she asked.

Corvin nodded. “Yes.”

Livia tried to figure out if she was uncomfortable with this. It hurt to be passed over for a dead woman. Yet, it wasn't fair to prevent him from participating in a personal tradition that brought him comfort.

“It upsets you,” Corvin said.

Livia nodded. “A little but I understand and it’s okay.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Corvin pressed.

“It’s not something you need my permission for Corvin,” Livia said.

He tilted his head to the side and looked at her. “But you wanted me there at the hospital?”

“Yeah, I’m--” Livia gulped. “Sorry about the kiss, Corvin.”

His expression softened. “I wish it had gone better for you. I’m supposed to be the one apologizing.”

Livia shook her head. “No, it’s my fault--”

Corvin shook his head. “I shouldn’t have overestimated your endurance. It was a miscalculation on my part. I am sorry.”

“And, now we have those rumors to deal with,” Livia muttered.

“That’s why I’m here,” Corvin said, and a sense of purpose erased his vulnerability. “To discuss the rumors.”

Dread filled Livia. “What rumors?”

“You are well acquainted with the rumors,” Corvin said. “Since you told everyone on tabula we weren’t dating...yet.”

“Yet?” Livia asked, confused. Then she pulled her phone into her hand and scrambled to sign in. She put her hand over her mouth as she realized what she’d done. Over and over she’d told people she and Corvin weren’t dating...yet.

“Oh no!” she cried. “Corvin--I-I was trying to fix it and I made it worse!”

She put her phone face down on the counter and covered her face with her hands, mortified.

Corvin laughed. “So, Livia, let’s talk about this yet.”

“Oh, please don’t tease me!” Livia cried. “I’m so sorry!”

“I’m not teasing right now. I’m making honest inquiries. Was it a mistake or did you mean something by it?”

“Oh my goodness. I’d never do that,” Livia said. “I am so sorry!”

Corvin’s expression flashed with hurt. Then Livia realized he took it to mean she’d never date him, which isn’t what she meant to say.

“No, wait,” she put down her spoon and pushed her ice cream away. “That didn’t come out right--I mean…”

Corvin’s face was a mask. “What did you mean, Liv?”

“I mean to say that I…” Livia hesitated. Her mind was racing so fast words wouldn’t come to her. “I’m trying to say that…”

Corvin let the silence stretch out a long time.

Livia bit her knuckle. “Okay, I can do this...I don’t want to be the girl who says things online that...makes you feel like--” Livia tried to explain a different way. “My mom she manipulated my father and I don’t...I wouldn’t play games that make you feel stuck...with me. So, I’m saying it was a mistake. It wasn’t intentional to trick you or part of a twisted strategy--I’m so sorry,” Livia said.

Corvin tilted his head to the side. “So, you’re bothered by the idea that I’d interpret it as a deliberate ploy to get my affection.”

“Yes, that’s not the type of person I want to be." Livia gestured with her hands to emphasize her point.

“So, you’re not saying that you’d never date me,” Corvin said.

“I was not trying to say that,” Livia confirmed.

Corvin pushed his ice cream aside and leaned onto the countertop with his forearms. “So, you might date me?”

Livia’s heart thudded in her chest so hard she was certain it was visible to Corvin. “I-” she whispered. “T-that's complicated…”

“In what way?” he asked.

Livia decided to deflect the conversation a bit. “Corvin, you can’t convince me you want to date me.”

“I do want to date you,” he said, firmly. “I feel like you understand me significantly better than a lot of people in Caesarea.”

“You think I understand you?” Livia asked. “I find you pretty confusing, actually.”

Corvin grinned. “I’m willing to answer questions.”

He paused here as if she’d start an interrogation immediately.

Livia couldn’t pluck a single question from her frantically spinning thoughts. “Can this be a long-term offer?”

“For as long as you wish,” Corvin said. He studied her before speaking again as if calculating how frank to be with her. “Livia, every time I spend time with you I can’t wait until we get to see each other again. I’m always asking myself what you’d think about situations I encounter over the course of my day. Frankly, I’ve reached the point where I’m tired of hiding the fact I have feelings for you. Obviously, my powers of observation are fallible and so you may correct me, but I think that you like me too. Am I wrong about that?”

Livia cleared her throat. “My feelings are...I’m not sure I trust them.”

Corvin looked confused. “What do you mean?”

Livia laughed. “I mean, I’ve had them a long time and--”

That made Corvin smile but he didn’t interrupt her. Instead, he gave her the space to gather her thoughts again. Livia wished he wouldn’t because she could hardly think. Her heart raced and the thoughts in her head were blurry and hard to pin down.

When Livia didn’t immediately continue Corvin asked, “How long, Liv?”

Livia met his eyes and realized this was the moment of truth. It was time to tell him. “Since we met. I mean...not...not the first instant we met. Not like that--”

“That wasn’t a moment for romance,” Corvin confirmed.

“But somewhere in between then and when you left ten days later,” Livia gulped.

“So, when you reference these feelings,” Corvin encouraged. “You mean what?”

“I'm not sure,” Livia whispered. “I spend a lot of time trying not to feel them.”

Corvin laughed. “Why, Liv?”

“Well, at first, I was too young for you,” she said.

Corvin nodded. “Granted. But you’re not too young now. I’m a little older but not that much older. It’s less than ten years.”

Livia closed her eyes. "Then I was embarrassed because...what a cliche, right? Girl falls in love with the officer who saves her. I thought it was some psychological weakness--"

Corvin considered that. "I understand what you're saying. But it's been two years, Liv. Your immediate physical safety is about as secure as the average person now. You don't need to be in a relationship with me to meet your basic needs. So, I don't think you need to be concerned that being with me is automatically unethical."

Livia opened her eyes. "That's true, isn't it? I couldn't get over that. That the way my attraction started...I needed you to protect me."

Corvin nodded. "Do you feel like that still?"

Livia sighed. "Not the same way. It is different. It's something that sounds...nice, convenient. But I don't feel terrified to be without you the way I did at first."

Corvin's brow furrowed. "You felt that way, Liv?"

Livia nodded. "So, it scares me a little to be put in that position again."

"I had no idea," Corvin said.

"I wanted to beg you to stay the day you flew out," Livia said. She pressed the side of her fist to her lips. She regretted saying it, immediately.

Corvin sighed. "I hated leaving. The squad was broken up about it for weeks afterward. We didn't want to make it harder for you to get along with your mother when you were still a minor, though. She'd asked us not to contact you."

Livia nodded. "I know."

"I wish you'd said something," Corvin whispered. "I could have written letters. Maybe that would have been enough to ease your fears..."

Livia shook her head. "That might have been worse."

Corvin looked into her eyes. "We can sit around all day and intellectualize all the circumstances but it won't change the fact that emotionally I abandoned you."

Livia looked at her hands and didn't say anything.

Corvin said, "I can understand if a romantic relationship is too hard an ask after all that. But at the same time...will you give me a chance to be there for you now? To regain your trust, Liv?"

Livia inhaled. “But I'm not even done with my list yet."

"What list?" he asked.

"The 'why we can never be together list'."

Corvin smiled a bit. "What else is there, Liv? I mean, what you just told me is already a lot."

"I worry we grew up too different,” Livia said.

“We did,” he nodded. “But everyone does, Liv.”

“No, Corvin,” Livia said. “Not as dramatically different as we did.”

He leaned forward to rest on his forearms. “Liv, sometimes that can be a good thing for a relationship instead of a bad thing--”

“How?” she demanded.

Corvin hesitated before he answered her question. Then he spoke with a frankness that surprised her. “I’m always afraid that I’ll marry a girl who won’t ever question me. That she’ll go along with everything I want and I don’t want that, Livia. That sounds so boring to me. I crave an intellectual challenge...that’s the best way I can describe it. I’ve tried to make things work with traditional Caesarean women and...eventually I feel trapped...intellectually, I mean.”

Livia’s narrowed her eyes. “So, you think fighting with me is some intellectual game--”

“No,” Corvin shook his head. “No, Liv, I am saying collaborating with you will be a worthy intellectual challenge.”

“Only people from TARP would say something like that,” Livia muttered.

“Sounds like you're already familiar with my conflict resolution strategies. I say that puts us ahead of the game, Liv.”

Livia took a deep breath. She thought Corvin was being too optimistic, but she didn’t know anyone else that would be as prepared as Corvin to face the challenges she worried about. Hyrum did say that sometimes you have to take a risk on people.

Livia said, “In theory, let’s say I agree to this--”

Corvin grinned. “Continue.”

Livia narrowed her eyes. “Are we going to match?”

Corvin groaned. “Liv, that takes so long. Let’s just date.”

“I don’t want to,” she said.

Corvin looked alarmed. “To date? Or you don’t want it to be informal?”

“I don’t want to be informal,” Livia clarified.

Corvin sighed. “Look, you were the one complaining about lawyers and inequality before. Being informal is the most equal way to do this. We’re dating right now, not getting married. Let’s keep the complications out of it.”

“So, you’re not serious about dating me,” Livia challenged.

“That’s not true. Look, Liv, there’s a lot of pressure and serious discussions involved in signing a match contract. I don’t see the point of putting you through that when it’s not necessary. So unless you can explain what benefit you’ll get out of the situation I won’t do it. It’s not fair to you.”

“First,” Livia said, putting up a finger. “I’m already an outsider in Caesarea. If I’m going to be part of this community I need to follow the traditions and rules of the community.”

Corvin sighed. “Using my words against me now, are you?”

Livia smiled. “Second, we both know there are people in Caesarea that aren’t going to be happy that I’m dating you.”

“Forget them,” Corvin slapped his palm against the counter.

“I want to show them that I’m not going to mess around with you. That I’m serious about respecting you and your family. That I’m not irresponsible like my mother.”

Corvin quipped, “Liv, you’re the complete opposite of irresponsible.”

Livia ignored his teasing. “Third, if we’re going to do this I want to have the serious discussions. I’m not going to be played, Corvin. You’re not going to wish-wash your way into this relationship because you're lonely and then leave me high and dry. You’re going to prove to me that I’m worth your time and effort,” Livia insisted.

Corvin stiffened. His eyes widened and his lips parted to say something but nothing came out. Livia was sure she’d offended him.

“Are you still in?” she asked.

He laughed. “I said I wanted this, didn’t I? Someone who’d stand up to me? Way to not disappoint, Livia.”

She grinned but there was little mirth or flirt in it. “Well?”

Corvin leaned in his close, his hazel eyes intent on hers. “Liv, I’ll agree if--” Corvin paused for emphasis-- “you talk to Gaius about it before we leave for Cornelia tomorrow.”

Livia frowned. “Why?”

“So we have an idea straight off how he will work with you. If you have a bad experience bringing it up with him we’ll reevaluate, deal?”

Livia figured that was fair. “Deal.”

Corvin inhaled, and his eyes roved her face. “Let me know how your discussion with him goes.”

Livia nodded. “I will.”

Corvin said, “You don’t have much time to talk to him. We leave for Cornelia tomorrow at 2:00.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Livia said.

Corvin nodded. He reached out to touch her.

Livia flinched away.

Corvin froze and pulled his hand back. “Too soon?”

Livia swallowed a knot of emotion. “Yeah, I’m sorry--”

“No, that’s okay. You deserve time to recover. I’ll see you tomorrow. You keep taking care of yourself, okay?”

Livia nodded. “Thanks, Corvin.”

###

Livia texted Gaius almost immediately after Corvin left. Remember when you asked if I had anyone I was interested in matching with?

Gaius responded instantly. Yes.

Livia: I want to talk.

Gaius: Right now is the only time I can talk

Livia: I am at Hyrum’s

Gaius: I’ll be there in 10 min.

Hyrum got to the door before Livia did. “Gaius? I didn’t know you were coming over. Is everything alright?”

“Livia and I have a matter to discuss.”

Hyrum gave Livia a concerned looked.

“It’s okay Hyrum. I asked him to come over,” Livia said. “If we need you we’ll call you in--”

Hyrum’s eyes narrowed at being dismissed this way, but he didn’t object.

Gaius removed his jacket and took a seat in the front room. Livia sat down across from him, feeling nervous.

“Livia,” Gaius said. “How are you?”

“I’m doing fine.”

He raised a single eyebrow. “Are you? Really?”

“I have a question--” she hedged.

“I have one too,” he quipped, grinning.

“What’s the procedure to start a match?” Livia asked.

Gaius folded his hands together. “You tell me who you have an interest in and I make the appropriate inquiries and then it goes from there.”

“Goes from there? How?” Livia asked.

“If the response to our inquiry is positive, the woman submits her request first and the man responds,” Gaius said. “So you’d submit a letter stating interest. The man would respond with a letter of reciprocal interest. Then invite you to submit a match contract proposal and they’d accept it, reject it, or ask us to negotiate.”

Livia inhaled a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Are you going to tell me his name?” Gaius asked.

“I like Corvin Tullius.”

Gaius grinned, pleased. “I like Corvin too.”

“You do?” Livia asked.

He nodded. “Tell me about him. Do you talk often?”

And soon an hour had passed and Gaius had dragged out the entire story.

“I’d like to speak with Lars if you’ll permit me,” Gaius said. “It sounds like Corvin knows the letter of interest is coming so there’s no point in delaying.”

“Okay,” Livia said. “Should I arrange to be with you while you talk?”

Gaius shook his head. “No.”

“Fine,” Livia agreed. “Let me know what they say?”

“Of course.” Gaius stood. “I’ll be in touch.”

###

Livia was in the thick of studying for finals three days later when Gaius forwarded an email from Lars.

Livia,

Gaius Pius the Paterfamilias of Taurus house has communicated your interest to pursue a match with Corvin Tullius. This serves as notice that Corvin holds a reciprocal interest in pursuing a match. We look forward to receiving your match proposal. We request to receive your offer by January 31st. If circumstances prevent submission by that date, please notify us in writing and a new date will be negotiated.

Highest regards,

Lars and Aurelia Tullius

Livia hit reply to let Gaius know she received the news. Then she sat back and let the happiness wash over her. Corvin had been serious about dating her. He'd called her last night to chat. When he only asked her questions about her plans and how her studying for finals was going she doubted he would follow through. He did though and Livia got ready for her day in a distracted haze. She grabbed her purse and bag and set out for lunch. She crossed campus. She came to the staircase in front of the student center. She looked up and froze. Corvin stood at the top of the stairs as if he was waiting for her.

Livia climbed the stairs eagerly. She stepped in front of him.

“I thought you were holing up in the library to write a paper today,” she said.

“I thought I’d take my lunch break with the strongest woman on campus,” he teased.

Livia rolled her eyes but she laughed.

“As long as that’s alright with her?” Corvin asked.

“I’d like that,” Livia agreed.

“You’ll have to tell me what’s good to eat,” he said.

Livia took a deep breath. “I got an interesting email today.”

Corvin’s expression didn’t reveal anything. He asked with an emotionless expression. “Was it good news?”

Livia laughed at him. “Corvin, stop doing that!”

He didn’t break. “Doing what?”

“Pretending like you don’t know what I’m talking about!”

A slow smile spread over his face. “You heard from mom and dad?”

Livia couldn’t help smiling back. “Yes.”

“So, it went okay?” Corvin asked. “Mom and Dad said Gaius was pleasant to work with, surprisingly.”

“He was really supportive of the whole thing,” Livia said. “So, now what do we do while we wait? What are we between now and then?”

“Whatever we want to be,” Corvin said. “Of course, I think we should be a couple to make the most of it. If you feel different I’d like to accept the challenge to become better friends.”

“I’d like both,” Livia said.

Corvin jerked his chin toward the door. “Let’s start with lunch then.”

“Wait.” Livia stepped closer to him. “There’s one more thing I want.”

“What’s that?” Corvin asked.

Livia lifted her hands to his cheeks and went up on her tiptoes. “A do-over?”

Corvin’s hands rested lightly on her waist. “Granted.”

Corvin lowered his lips to hers. Livia braced herself for another lightning strike but she experienced only softness. Livia pulled away a moment to breathe, to put down her defenses. She leaned up to press her lips to Corvin’s again and met once again with his tender mildness. Livia tangled her hands into his curly hair and lingered over the kiss as long as she dared in public. When she pulled back she couldn’t suppress the smile that turned her lips as she stared into Corvin’s golden-flecked hazel eyes. Her heart thudded with a dozen emotions. Happiness and excitement sent chills down her back but there was a deeper sense of rightness taking root in her. She was willing to take risks to be with this man. Even if it meant rooting out and facing all the demons from her past.

“Much better,” she murmured, as she pulled away.

“You’re still conscious,” Corvin teased. “My appeal must be wearing off.”

Livia stepped away and flicked his bicep. “Not funny.”

He was laughing though, “For the record, I liked the second time better.”

Livia took his hand and tugged him toward the cafeteria. “Come on before I turn into a hungry Taurus.”