I know what Yozo wanted. He wanted to end the world, not himself. And he was right, the world dies when you die. But he killed the world without dying. That's an amazing feat. You better believe it.

Paccon was dead.

His friend told me that he jumped. Its funny, this had never happened before. His friend had never talked to me when he wasn't the third person there. It felt so odd and yet...and yet I wish it would have continued to be odd. But not anymore.

I can't say I remember what happened then. To be honest, when I got the news, it was so dark out, perhaps 2 in the morning. And there I sat, sweating on my bed, wind rushing in through the windows and yet I felt like the whole world had ceased to exist. I felt alone, for the first time in my life. The loneliness, with that intensity, had never grasped me so wholly before. And as I felt the world go vacant, I felt the life leave my existence. I had finally lost it all.

I don't know what happened afterwards. When I came to, the sun was already starting to rise and a million centuries had passed. I didn't...I could never cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to fade away. I clenched my heart over and over again, it wasn't there.

I had abandoned Paccon. I don't know why he did what he did. But I know we planned to die together when we did, and I had remained behind. I had betrayed his trust. To this day, I feel the guilt weighing me down.

Anyways, I didn't even know where he lived, so attending his funeral was very out of question. I didn't have the courage or the mental awareness to ask his friend either. Nothing meant anything anymore. I know they tell you the world doesn't end with just one person dying, well mine sure did. I'm not snapping out of this..."this". I'm staying.

I ended up running away again. I smoked like a chimney and I looked so rotten, you'd have thought I was dead. I went to school, but I never took any classes. I wasn't acquainted with the world for a long time after that.

I know Paccon would ask me, why I wrote about us like this? He wouldn't even stay to read it through. I wonder what answer I could give him. I want to see him again.