“Bunting, you have disgraced mi familia,” Antonio spat. “You have tricked me and made a diabolical weapon out of my mother’s corpse. I have vowed that if you survived, I would destroy you personally.”

“Oh Antonio,” the chef said, displaying his fangs with a snarl. “You make such bold promises but I do not believe you are ‘fit’ enough to keep them.”

Antonio looked at his bulging stomach and loosened his belt buckle. He stood with his chunky thighs apart and brandished his twin rapiers with diminished grace. The chef chuckled. “Ah you are but a plump shadow of your former self. More ready to feed my latest morsel than get zis so called vengeance.”

The chef clapped his gloved hands and the cake behind rumbled. Chunks of frilly icing crumbled as two pure white eyes with dark pupils emerged from the mutated confection. The second layer displayed rows of sharp teeth in a blood red mouth. Hot pink candles lit themselves, and the beast shuffled its way past Bunting into Antontio’s wake.

“Former preetty boy meet my new and improved Bunting Cake. ‘ee is not so ‘appy about what you did to his brother.”

Antonio fixated on the cake in horror as the it drew closer and closer. He turned and ran but he found it harder and harder to lift his legs. He ran past his friends puffing and panting. Sealed in a force field, all they could do was offer him words of encouragement.

“Don’t run Pretty Orc!” A now stocky Oga shouted. “We orcs always stand our ground no matter the odds. Even if it seems stupid to do so!”

“Come on,” Cyrus said raising a flabby arm. “You’ve beaten one of these cakes before!”

Vanessa, who loosened all of her armor to accommodate her new plus sized body, gave Antonio a big dimpled smile. “I have faith in you, Antonio,” she said softly. “Other than my master, you are the greatest swordsman I’ve ever met and besides…I love you.”

Antonio felt his cheeks flush red. He took a deep breath and turned around to face the gargantuan double decker abomination. He stared the cake right down with his passionate brown eyes, and for a split second, the beast halted.

“Do your worst, you dire dessert,” the rogue swordsman commanded. “For even if your teeth tear me limb from limb, my dear Vanessa’s love has already redeemed me. I will fight until nothing remains of me but a finger nail.”

“Oh Antonio,” Vanessa sighed with equally red cheeks to match. “I know I’m a knight, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone else fight in your name.”

Antonio gave a wink at her and stomped towards the morsel. He swung his sword to the right of the cakes mouth and cut straight through to the bottom. It roared, causing Bunting to giggle. “Zere is nothing a living cake hates more than being sliced up for dessert. Ee says, time to ‘ave you for dinner instead.’”

The cake chomped at Antonio’s arm, causing him to pull it away just in time. “I think not,” Antonio said panting harder.

He quickly swung his sword back at the cake, this time chopping out one of its sharp teeth. The tooth clattered to the floor. Antonio watched it for a split second before he screamed in pain. Everyone gasped as cake clamped down on his arm, ripping and tearing it. Intense pain caused the brave rogue to wince as he hung out of the cake’s mouth by his arm.

“Ah hah hah hah,” the chef laughed. “You are no match for eet. Now ee will get revenge for his brother.”

As the chef laughed maniacally, a smile curled on Antonio’s lips. “But wait, Senor Bunting, don’t you remember it was you who had me kill your first cake. It was so we could gain the trust of Prince Cyrus and his friends.”

A growl rose from inside the cake and Antonio watched as its creepy eyes focused on Bunting. The chef stopped laughing and threw up his hands. ”Vat? Zat is preposterous. I would never do such a thing. ‘Oo are you going to believe? Me or zis cretin?”

“But,” the rogue said in his passionate voice. “I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t trust this guy. Cake, I am speaking from the heart of mi corazon. I didn’t want to kill Lenny. He was such a good evil cake monster, but this foul muchacho made me do it! He killed your brother just like he did mi madre!”

“Vat eez zis madness!” Bunting shouted. “Do you want to ‘ave a trial in zee middle of a battle?! Eet was just a cake!”

“’Eet was just a cake’” Antonio parroted the chef in his accent. “Does that sound like an hombre who cares about his confections? And he’ll do away with you just as he did Lenny.”

With a loud crunch, the cake spit out Antonio’s arm, leaving him bleeding on the floor. It moved towards Bunting instead. Antonio watched through burning pain as the chef chuckled nervously. “Oh no no,” the chef laugh. “Zis is certainly not what you think. Eet wasn’t like that at all.”

The chef trembled as an ominous shadow spread across his effeminate form. But soon, a darker expression came over him. Bunting’s face twisted itself from a handsome blond man with a cracked face, to a blue faced demon with bulging eyes. His high pitched effeminate voice shifted to a growling baritone. “From batter and eggs you came, and from batter and eggs you will return.”

The chef held out his hand and everyone watched in shock as a circular blood red stone escaped from the cake’s mouth. It shook violently before imploding into a pile of flour and eggs. The chef lifted his left hand and an enormous steel fork flew into his hand. He raised his other hand and hundreds of tiny forks and knives rattled and became airborne, flying from tables lining the room. Every knife and fork zeroed in on Antonio as he rocked back and forth recoiling from the pain. Bunting chuckled as he walked towards Antonio with the same menacing expression.

“Props to you for getting zee upper hand on me. But now, I will chop you up personally and sautee you for zee party…”

Antonio watched in horror as he prepared to be stabbed in hundreds of different ways, but he allowed his pride and bravery to overcome his fear. “Bunting, I will imagine every pain as a kiss from my Vanessa, ready to send me off to my maker. When I die fighting, everyone in this room will remember the name, Antonio Corazon.”

Antonio thrust his sword at Bunting who quickly parried it with his giant fork. Antonio could tell that sword fighting was not the chef’s expertise and he hastily blocked every blow with a panicked expression. Antonio quickly performed an upward swipe so hard it sent the chef’s weapon flying out of his hands, embedding itself in the wooden ceiling.

The chef gasped but his blue face quickly snarled as the forks and knives all pointed directly at Antonio’s heart.

“Ah, now eez the time for you to feel every one of these utensils in your proud, ‘ow you say ‘cortazon’, you one armed rogue.”

Antonio gave a defiant expression and screamed. “And now it’s time for you to feel

pain where your heart should be!”

He lifted his arm, aiming his rapier right at Bunting’s brooch. The chef put up his hands to block it and Antonio quickly threw his sword at the giant fork in the ceiling. It jostled loose and flipped through the air. Antonio gritted his teeth as it fell, praying it would aim where he wanted it. Bunting looked up in horror as the fork plunged right into this chest, shattering the brooch into millions of pieces.

The chef held his head as he shook back and forth. Cracks appeared all over his body and he screamed, “Alas the fork of Damocles is upon me!” before exploding just like the brooch.

As forks and knives clattered to the floor like rain, Antonio remarked, “An arm for a brooch, seems like a fair trade, hombre.”

The force field dropped, and Cyrus, Oga and Vanessa ran to Antonio’s aid. “Hey, you’re not fat anymore,” Antonio said as Van ran to treat his arm.

“Ahem,” Cyrus said, putting his hands on his love handles.

“Ah, sorry about that…ugh…” Antonio moaned as he felt the pain from the large bite marks in his arm and fell back in Van’s hands.

“Quick, Cyrus,” Van shouted. “Do you have any gauze in that briefcase?”

“Even better,” Cyrus said holding sparkling pink gauze. “Magic Gauze. Guarantee to stop the bleeding.”

“Mi Corazon lives to beat another day,” Antonio chuckled as Van wrapped the gauze around his arm and kissed him.

**

Antonio and his friends entered the next room. It was an old wooden stairwell laced with cobwebs. The wood was a ghastly pale and every step creaked and moaned as they walked up it, unwelcoming them to their next destination.

“Good job, Antonio!” Cyrus said. “We have one less Everblood to worry about.”

Antonio gave his prize winning smile, before he let reality decide his next words. “We’re not out of the woods yet, my muchachos! We’ve still got…lets see, the voluptuous singer you guys told me about, that masked hombre, that evil elf queen and uh…wasn’t there other one?”

“Yes,” Cyrus said. “There was an ugly elderly Everblood that threatened Trinity, but we know nothing about them.”

“Either way,” Van said with a sensible look. “I have a good feeling that each of these Everbloods has a qualm with one of us. We might be facing each one on one.”

“Si,” Antonio said as they reached the top of stairwell and walked across a chipped and faded tile floor to the door. “I wonder which one of us is next?”

**

The door creaked and Antonio and his friends were greeted by the cadaver pale face of Ayne, the elven queen. She was draped in a black velvet gown with a long jagged fringe where it should have frilled. Her hair and skin were as silver as a sheet of white ice and her bright red eyes glared and gleamed like rubies in snow. Dark spiked crystal earrings nearly reached her shoulders; they perfectly matched the staff she clutched. Black spikes erupted from the staff’s diamond shaped head at every angle.

“Ai, someone looks dressed to kill!” Antonio laughed.

“Silence,” the elven queen said. “Every word from your mouth marks you as the inferior creature you are.”

Her smirking veneer cut Antonio with a look of condescending hatred. Oga lightly pushed Antonio and Van aside to approach Ayne.

As she did, Ayne sneered and a translucent barrier enveloped Antonio and his friends. He watched helplessly as Oga spoke to her former sister.

“How did you do that?” Oga exclaimed. “I thought only Everblood’s could do that?”

“Why don’t you know, Aya?” the queen spoke in her deep, haughty voice. “Not only am I am elf, the purest, most noble race in existence, but I am also an Everblood.”

“Then why are you in my sister’s body?” The little elf shouted.

“Because my physical body was eroded ages ago,” the queen laughed. “But we Everbloods are eternal as long as we discharge our spirits before we are defeated. We can then possess the bodies of weak willed mortals.”

Antonio watched as Oga gritted her fang. She snarled causing the elven queen to take notice.

“But come child,” Ayne said, pulling a long white finger forward. “I have not come to fight with you, but rather show you something…”

“Show me what?!” The defiant young elf spat back.

Ayne’s mouth spread into a wide, full teethed smile. “I have come to show you the real reason your mother lost her mind…”