“Achooo!”

It was the dawn of the final day before the Red Moon Celebration and Cyrus awoke with a loud sneeze and sniffles. He turned over in his lodge bed. There was dark tarp hanging over the giant gap in the ceiling, but it didn’t prevent the cold air from coming in. The young prince grumbled as mucus dripped out of his nose onto the pillow.

”What a day to be sick!” he muttered.

Not only would he have to scale a dark and creepy castle to save Princess Trinity, he would have to defeat monsters who scared him more than anything else in the kingdom. The thought of facing off against the demonic Rosemary struck fear into his knobby knees. He brushed the sheets aside and held his face in his hands. It burned warm and his throat itched too.

The door opened and Oga quickly scampered in. “Big Orc Prince, we have a problem. Get dressed and come outside.”

“What?” Cyrus groaned.

“Just come,” the elf said and she handed him an apple filled pastry. “Oh and Annie-Freize made strudel again. Sugar free this time. She says she doesn’t want you to get a tummy ache when you face off against the evilest monsters this world has ever known.”

“Great,” Cyrus muttered as he shoved the food inside his cheeks.

After getting dressed, Cyrus approached Van, Antonio, Teela and a small group of villagers on the top of a snow covered hill. From this vantage point, they could see Forbidden Fortress rising from the tip of the North Point. The sky was completely clear and light blue, but the temperature was still as cold as a winter morning. The fortress darkened the backdrop like an unwanted storm cloud with giant black gates, jagged spires like the edges of bat wings and a large central tower. It stood ominously on the edge of a rock peninsula overlooking the sea.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” Van said with a warm smile.

Cyrus noticed Van’s hand in Antonio’s and it distracted him a little. He quickly snapped back. “What’s the issue?! The blizzard’s gone isn’t it?”

Van’s warm smile turned grave. “Yes but look down in the valley.”

Cyrus made his way further up the hill, huffing and puffing and looked down. There in the middle of the valley stood another tear in reality and several large companies of demons marching back and forth. “How in the world are we going to fight them all?” Cyrus said, losing even more of his confidence.

An old man bundled in a parka stepped toward Cyrus. He was flanked by two much taller men in knit caps and burly beards. “We’d like to aid you good prince. I am the mayor of this town, and we’ve wanted these demon nuisances out of our valley ever since they came.”

“No demons in our valley!” the villagers chanted.

“Thanks,” Cyrus said. “But are you sure you want to go ahead with this? There’s a lot more demons than us. I don’t want to send you to your deaths.”

“We’re bumpkins,” the old man said with a chuckle. “Our pride for our country far exceeds our rationality.”

“NO DEMONS IN OUR VALLEY!” The people chanted again.

Cyrus felt a bit flustered from both his fever and the people’s kindness. He clutched his briefcase and put his hand to the back of his head. He looked at Van with anticipation and said, “Well, this is it! I guess we’ll die in the name of patriotism.”

“Waaaaaaiiiitttt!” A cawing voice shouted from the distance.

Cyrus looked down the hill and gasped. Running up the hill in his checkered tunic, with a half white, half black painted face and ridiculous puffy pants, was a man Cyrus knew and loved dearly.

“Archibald!” Cyrus exclaimed.

Following him closely was a woman in a powder blue fur coat, an eyepatch and a matching blue rectangular hat. She was Jetta Larson the current Thief Lord of Scum County. A large group of unruly men and women followed behind, many looking like people who’d been to prison more than once. Cyrus was well acquainted with Jetta and her thieves, but this was the first time he was glad to see them.

“Before you embark on this fool’s errand,” the Majester proclaimed. “How about getting help from a professional fool?!”

Van gasped. “Majester, this is perfect timing.”

The Majester put both his hands behind his head. “Initially, we were going to show up at the most climatic part of the battle. But Little Miss Larson here said that might not work as perfectly as the storybooks. Always trust a woman’s intuition!”

“How did you guys get up the ridge?” Cyrus asked.

“Grappling hooks!” Archibald exclaimed. “Thieves always have a nice supply of grappling hooks on hand.”

Antonio’s eyes widened with a disbelieving expression on his face. “So we could have just used grappling hooks to get up the mountain, brujo? We didn’t even need to see the elves!”

“I suddenly feel so unwanted,” Oga said a sarcastic pout on her face.

“Exactly…” The Majester said with a comical laugh. “And I…”

Suddenly, Teela growled and lunged at the Majester, cutting off his jovial laughs and plunging onto the ground with him. Her pupils disappeared and her hair hung down as she glared at the Majester with inhuman eyes.

“Archie!” Jetta gasped.

“You have a lot of nerve coming back,” she growled as the fangs in her mouth glistened with blood lust.

Archibald calmly squinted. “I bring you an army, Teela, and this is the thanks I get?”

Cyrus’ head raced. How did the Majester know Teela? Did this have anything to with the Multi-Beast whistle in his briefcase.

“Archibald?” Cyrus asked. “How exactly do you know Teela?”

“This is my ex,” the Majester remarked casually.

Everyone, including some of the villagers exclaimed loudly, “Teela, you dated him?”

Dark pupils returned to the Multi-Beasts eye’s and Teela spoke like she was a mother recounting an embarrassing fling. “Aye, it wasn’t a proud moment in either of our lives!”

“Wow Archibald, you were with a Multi-Beast?!” Antonio said as he made confused gestures with his hands. “How does that even work?”

Archibald quickly removed his hands from under Teela’s paws to hold them up. “It’s not what you think! Teela, like all Multi-Beasts can turn into a human form! Come on Teela, why don’t you show them…”

Teela, turned her nose up and looked away from the Majester. Everyone including Cyrus stood in silence awaiting the Multi-Beast’s astounding transformation. Teela, much to their disappointment, just muttered a quick ‘hmmph’ and continued to stand over Archibald.

The Majester chuckled nervously. “You’re not going to show them are you?”

“Nope…” the beast said. “I’d rather they know how depraved you truly are!”

Jetta paraded over to Teela and smacked her face. The beast woman leaped back in a defensive position. “I know Archie’s not like that, you hussy-beast,” Jetta shouted at her. “He’s a good man…”

Teela remained unfazed and quickly lunged at Jetta, jumping over Archibald’s body. The prideful beast let out a cold laugh. “Are you Archibald’s new toy? It’s sad you haven’t even seen his senseless cruelty yet.”

“Senseless cruelty?” Jetta asked. “I believe Archie is the most humane man in the world. We could all take a lesson from him.”

The beast paced around Jetta talking in one of her riddles. “Never trust the happy fool with a painted smile. Underneath the makeup his true evil lies.”

“You’re just angry he dumped you,” Jetta said as her remaining eye followed Teela’s movements in circles. Why don’t you take your unpleasant metaphors and shove it up your….”

“I’m warning you,” Teela said with a grave expression. “Loving that fool only brings calamity and misfortune.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Archibald said, coming between them. “Or is this girl talk that old Archie shouldn’t be hearing?”

“Nothing Archie,” Jetta said crossing her arms. “Just defending you from the ‘know-it-all beast’”

“Haha that’s a good one,” The Majester cackled. “She’s definitely the Know-It-All Beast. She always knew when I was sneaking downstairs to get a midnight snack when we lived together. Always scolded me about the carbs too.”

“I’d never do that, Archie. You can eat as many sugary snacks as you want,” Jetta said and walked back towards the crowd. “Let’s go over here and plan out this battle.”

“Ooh, little Miss Jetta is taking initiative,” the Majester remarked and followed her, leaving Teela to stand alone.

Cyrus stood flabbergasted with his friends.

“Aye. And I thought our love life was complex,” Antonio said with Van hooked around his arm. “But Magic Boy’s in a love triangle with a crime boss and a chimera.”

After much discussion, Archibald, Cyrus, Van and Jetta stood high on the hill. Cyrus viewed his army. The townsfolk all clutched shovels and axes while the criminals carried everything from curled swords, to wooden clubs to short knives. Oga held her magnificent silver bow and Antonio finally had a set of twin rapiers back in his sheathes. Everyone wore chain mail and stood with severe expressions as they readied themselves for battle. Cyrus was feeling invigorated by Archibald’s return and was about to give his soldiers direction when suddenly two women in the back caught his eyes.

One of them was plump and with an enormous chin and the other one was very weedy with stringy hair and a hooked nose. “Bungo and Snipps?!” Cyrus exclaimed. “Archibald?! What are they doing here?”

“Relax Prince-y Poo, they’ve agree to fight for our side on one condition.”

“Oi,” Bungo said in his boisterous accent. “If we fight, tha Majester promised he’d turn us back into a couple of blokes again!”

Cyrus let out a sigh of relief and laughed. “Well, that’s a good reason as any! Ok, so I’ve been looking at the ranks of demons and how the field is laid out.”

Cyrus took a magic quill from the briefcase and drew in the air. Normally, he’d use it to pen soliloquys with borrowed words to Princess Trinity, but this time, he planned to use it to plan her rescue.

“The demons are coming from this portal. My dear friend Van has a magical sword that can close it for good. The biggest problem though: all of the demons are standing in front of the portal, so we’re going to need a small army to distract them in one direction while we sneak around them.”

Antonio boldly stood up. “I will do it! I will lead the charge.”

Van winced like she had just been stabbed in the side. “Please don’t do that. You can come with us.”

“Vanessa,” Antonio laughed. “Worry not, mi corazon grande cannot say no to such a noble feat. But I swear on my life, I will walk through heaven and hell to return to you!”

“Ok,” Van said after a long pause. “But you better swear on more than your life! Swear on your honor.”

“Si, mi amor,” Antonio said bowing. “My honor is more important than my life itself. I will swear on that most of all.”

Cyrus understood Van’s pain even if he never knew how it felt to have such a romantic bond with someone before. He hoped one day he could have that with Trinity and swear such bold things for her.

“Ok,” Antonio shouted, turning around to the crowd. “Who’s with me?!”

Half the people, including Oga cheered loudly.

“Well, looks like we have our distraction party,” Antonio said, and he raised and lowered his eyebrows. “Shame these demons aren’t attractive women or they’d just need a little corazon and they wouldn’t be able to think straight.”

Cyrus laughed, but quickly stopped himself. “Alright everyone. Archibald, Van, Jetta, Teela and I will seal off the portal.”

The prince took a deep breath. “And I just want to say, this fight isn’t just for Antonio’s honor. We are saving a princess from the other kingdom. Our kingdom’s honor depends on her rescue. When we charge into battle, we are not just doing it for this valley, but for every mountain, valley, stream and river in Aristillus. We will liberate Aristillus from the Everblood menace and return prosperity to our kingdom.”

The crowd roared and threw up their weapons for the young prince. Archibald and Van both smiled at Cyrus who beamed proudly.

“Spoken like the future king,” Archibald said with a clever smirk.