《The Fat Prince: The Red Moon Sacrifice》Chapter 1: An Over-Slight of Hand

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Prince Cyrus and his friends found themselves between an endless chasm and a towering Everspawn titan; it was certainly less preferable to a rock and a hard place. Cyrus breathed in and out as he held Archibald the Majester’s magical briefcase. It was the only thing his friend left him before he was knocked into the ravine.

“Do you really expect to fight me?” The titan roared. “Perhaps you should think twice before talking about my mom in such a way.”

Cyrus and his friends quickly discussed their plan of discourse.

“Perhaps, we should surrender to him,” Antonio the foppish rogue said. “It would spare us our lives after all!”

”I think you just care about him damaging your pretty face,” Vanessa the female knight responded back with her arms crossed. “We’re fighting this thing. It’s not like we haven’t handled monsters and freaks before.”

“Exactly! We Orcs would rather chew off our own tongues and choke on the blood than surrender!” Oga added. “I say we fight until we’re nothing but ground beef!”

All of Cyrus’ friends looked to the young prince for advice. He had come up with quick witted plans before and this moment required one more than ever.

Cyrus looked from Antonio to Oga to Vanessa, and when he came to his short haired knight friend she gave him a warm self assured smile. Suddenly he felt the gears in his mind turning. “Oga and Antonio, you still have weapons. You hold him off while Van and I look for some kind of magic trick that can save us!”

Oga quickly seized the silver cross bow hanging around her shoulder. It was the size of her whole body, but Cyrus knew she was well adept at it. Antonio hastily drew an elven staff. He no longer had the twin rapiers he wielded with streetwise skill. Oga readied herself, but Antonio gave a sheepish look that betrayed none of his cocky confidence. “Well…?” Van asked.

“You don’t understand, senorita,” Antonio responded. “When a man loses his trusty swords, it’s like his whole manhood is up in the air. A man without a sword is like a choir boy without his…”

“Spare us the analogy, prettyboy,” Van said in her sardonic tone. “Perhaps you don’t want to win this senorita’s heart with your displays of manly passion…”

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Antonio’s eyes lit up as Van gave a small purse of her lips and winked at him. “Si, of course! Like I said back in elf-world, I cannot hide my passion anymore. I will prove myself!”

With a cry, Antonio ran clanking in his stolen elf armor, holding the staff over his head. “In the name of my sweet rose Vanessa Montero, I shall vanquish this dark beast and send him back to the depths of the netherworld yaaaaaaa!!!”

“Wow, I can’t believe you convinced him so well,” Cyrus said, marveling at Van.

“I’m just learning to speak his language,” Van responded. “Just throw in ‘passion’ this and ‘romance’ that, and you can convince him of anything.”

“Don’t you feel guilty about leading him on?” Cyrus responded.

“I learned how to play that game from him,” Van said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Before that I was this wide eyed maiden waiting to fawn over every word of his, but he changed me for the better. Now how about we find this trick, prince.”

“Right,” Cyrus said. “Only problem is, I have no idea what a good majority of this stuff is. Archibald only let me use dragon powder and he showed me just a few other things of his.”

“That’s not good,” Van said suddenly worried, “But I believe you can do it prince. You’ve come through before.”

Cyrus crouched and opened the colorful briefcase. As he did, he watched Antonio and Oga battle with the demon titan’s big toe. Oga fired her arrows with a deftness most ten year olds lacked and Antonio surprisingly managed to maneuver himself well with his staff, but no matter how much they swung or fired, the demon just laughed his booming laugh, “Hoo hoo hoo! If only mama Rosemary would tickle me like those attacks. Oh well, they at least fill the empty void in my life so I’ll let you attack a little while longer before you die.”

Cyrus quickly whipped out a top hat, some doves, some colored cups and a rubber liccan. “This is…all just regular magic tricks!”

“Great,” Van said, rolling her eyes. “Maybe we could entertain the Everspawn if it was his birthday but I doubt any of this will save us from him! Sodden tricks, useless as always.”

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Cyrus whipped out a cape that was bright red velvet on the inside and a dark fabric on the outside. It swooped up in the air before floating back down. Cyrus saw white gloves attached to the collar. “Hmm,” Cyrus said. “Maybe we aren’t doomed after all.”

“Are you really going to perform a magic trick for him?” Vanessa asked, her brown eyes sporting an incredulous wideness.

“Something like that,” Cyrus said with a wink.

“Hoo hoo hoo! Hoo hoo…hoo,” the Everspawn titan said with a sigh. “Ok, I’m bored now. Time to die!”

He reached a towering veiny hand over the hapless Oga and Antonio. They gaped at their impending doom. Cyrus quickly called to his allies. “Oga, Antonio, quick run to me!”

“Don’t have to tell me dos,” Antonio shouted as they sprinted away from the titan’s hand.

The titan quickly gave chase, causing huge tremors in the ground as it thundered across the tundra. Oga and Antonio quickly reached Cyrus. The young elven princess looked up at Cyrus in a top hat and cape. “What’s with the weird get-up, Big Orc Prince? Do you think you’re Mr. Magic Man now that he’s gone?”

“Oga…” Van said, chiding the little elf for her precociousness.

Cyrus gave a slight downcast look. “Yes… Everyone hold onto me”

Everyone grasped Cyrus’ girth at the edge of the cliff as the Everspawn ran with his hand outstretched. “My mama’s finally going to pay attention to me once I’ve taken care of you!”

“In honor of the great Majester, I present the Great Cyrus!” Cyrus announced in a bold voice and snatched his cape in his white gloved hand. “And now, Mr. Everspawn. I will show you a sleight of hand!”

Cyrus swooped his large cape over him and his friends just as the Everspawn’s hand reached them. The hand brushed the cape which vanished into thin air. The Everspawn quickly wobbled in order to gain its foothold on the edge of the cliff.

“Where…where did you go…?” It asked in a confused voice.

Cyrus and his friends reappeared behind the demon’s head, landing on his muscular shoulder. “Presto! We were behind your ear the whole time!”

The Everspawn roared as the rocks on the edge of the cliff shifted downward bringing the Everspawn’s hulking body with it. The four heroes quickly leaped to safety as the titan’s body slipped off into the abyss.

“I don’t have ears in this form!” Were the monster’s last words before it vanished into the swirling clouds below.

Everyone took a deep breath as the cool air combated the sweat on their brows. Antonio placed his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder. “I gotta hand it to you mi amigo. We got a real talented trickster in our fold.”

“It was Archibald’s trick,” Cyrus responded. “Archibald always entertained me with the sleight of hand and a gold coin as a kid! He always used this kind of fabric to do it.”

“But did he ever do a human and orc sleight of hand?!” Van asked, giving him a proud smile.

“Nope! Not that I’ve seen,” Cyrus responded.

“Wow, Big Orc Prince is a magical mastermind!” Oga responded. “So glad he’s on our side!”

Cyrus blushed. “I learned from the best.”

The young prince then bowed his head in sorrow. “I just wish he was here to see it.”

Van put her arm around Cyrus’ shoulder and gave him a winsome glance. “The thing about the Majester, prince, is that he seems to be a living sleight of hand. Every time we think he’s gone forever, he always magically appears behind our ear. I would bet he’s still out there waiting to surprise us yet again!”

“You’re right…” said Cyrus, suddenly perking up.

“Let’s just focus on the future!” Van said “We’ve got a long trek to the Everblood’s stronghold. I wish I could help more, but I lost my great Great Stone Cutting, Beast Punishing, Wood Chopping, Hilt Dwelling, Back Scratching, Shelf Reaching, Marshmallow Toaster back at the Silver Water palace.”

“That’s right,” Cyrus said. “Let’s focus on getting you a sword and getting across this tundra. We only have today and tomorrow before the Red Moon Celebration.”

The four heroes started their way across the icy tundra, not knowing about the fierce temperatures, hostile beasts and treacherous city that awaited them in the distance.

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