Saturday, April 11, 2020

I don't remember the last time my muscles were this sore, damn! Was it always this hard? I don't remember, it has been too long since I have done this kind of work out here in the woods. My hands are covered in blisters, and I am still shivering from the bath in the creek, but I'll be damned to the deepest pits of hell before I will go to bed smelling like that.

I kept myself busy trying to keep my mind off of home and Danny. I went onto the ridge to check my messages once and no news but somehow it did not settle my mind. I can't help but think something is wrong. The clearing for the house is much bigger now and so is the mound of rick wood that will be the wall eventually. There is so much to do but with my mind so far away, the work is dangerous. One tree almost got me when my attention was not on it. Now I have two nightmares to dwell on tonight. At least one is a massive oak and not my son's face.

I will hike to the top of the ridge before dark and check the messages again. One side of me wants a message, no matter how bad, just as an excuse to go home. The other is afraid of just what this feeling in me is. I have never been religious or superstitious but now...