“Let me rephrase that. When I mean make a bad impression, I mean to make a strong impression. Be mysterious, collected, and wild.” Kentarou took a seat on a chair and gestured downwards for Yugai to do the same who followed the suggestion obediently. “That’s a contradiction, isn’t it? Being wild and collected.” Kentarou sneered at the question. “Of course. Humans are contradictory, besides this shouldn’t be too hard for you. You’ve already learned to balance your contradictions and feed their flames.” Yugai lit up with those words. “Ah!” You’re right! Mystic Arts are the same! Wild but collected… wild… wild… wild… collected… collected... collected…” The steel in his right eye flared up as he searched his mind for the concepts distilled to their core. He seemingly entered a trance as he snatched the essence of the words and brought them deep into his heart so that they may meld as one.

A predator on its back legs whose eyes do not show a hint of fear. The beast within that begs to be let out but held tightly by the leash of iron reason. Dangerous. Masterfully wielded as a weapon that can protect or maim. Inner instincts roar. The steel now carried the call of the jungle. “...You weren’t supposed to literally enhance your presence with magic and ki but I guess that’s one way of doing it, though it would be very exhausting to keep it up for a whole day. Our general work hours are about 4 PM to just after midnight.” Kentarou’s eyes were still and serious now, while there was a tiny flare within looking for a moment of weakness, the gravity in his voice spoke leagues about how seriously he took his profession.

“If I’m going to teach you, well you better know exactly what type of work you’re getting into.” Yugai nodded and Hakuro yawned. “...Guess this will be easier than with the newbies who think they know everything. An empty glass is in some ways simpler. Don’t interrupt me as I explain.” A command, not a request. Kentarou took a deep breath from under his mask.

“Women come here for emotional support or stress relief. Usually, our clients are people who work late or are also part of the nightlife. For one reason or another, they want our support. When a customer comes here for the first time, they inspect the hosts via a menu. We’re selling ourselves and they buy. What host clubs usually do is introduce every host to the girl and then she chooses one of us to spend most of her time with. A host chosen by a girl is their named host, her Shimei. Whenever she comes to that club, she’ll have that host to entertain her.”

“We make money as a percentage commission based on the menu items she orders which will primarily be expensive alcohol. She’ll order drinks for herself and her host. There are often helper hosts who will basically wingman for the shimei host if they aren’t busy themselves, but regardless of how well the helper does all the profits will go to the Shimei. That’s how clubs usually do it. Over here we’re a bit different, mainly because our manager is a peculiar but well-intentioned man. Lang introduces new customers to hosts he thinks are good romantic matches for the woman. He’s a Disciple like us, and he bothered to learn how to use his magic to get a good idea of compatibility between people.” Kentarou sighed and crossed his eyebrows.

“He’s of the Water Form, so he describes it as understanding how people can connect on a chemical level, there’s more to it than that but that’s how he explained it without getting overly complex. As for why he bothered to do such a thing? Alright, so like I said, we give emotional aid to women who have little time to build natural proper relationships. There are some shady clubs that only want to make money by picking on vulnerable women and make them depend on their hosts and extort them for money. The hosts will say things like ‘yeah one day we’ll get married’ and use that to keep them on a hook. Lang finds that method to be a particularly vile practice, as do I. So, Lang doesn’t want to imitate that at all.” Kentarou threw his head back and looked at the ceiling.

“The idiot phrased it like this. Dreams have a chance of coming true for all those who chase them, no matter how slim, that’s why we fight for our dreams. Giving these women a stillborn dream is a sin I cannot abide. So, I will only hire men who do not have relationships and set them up with the women with who they have an actual chance of ending up together. These women are not fools. They know that a host has many women vying for his attention, that this is a job. Yet, there’s a small seed of hope. That they will be picked. That they will be the chosen one. That the love they feel isn’t just her host doing his job, but the genuine article. Hosts do graduate by marrying their former clients. It’s a pretty common occurrence. Will she be the girl who wins her prince on the battlefield of love? Gugh. He always has to phrase shit with such…”

Despite that Yugai could feel it. Incredible respect and trust in Lang were pouring out of Kentarou’s heart. He realised that may be why he was looking away. He didn’t want his gaze to give away those emotions so directly. “So, you’re probably thinking we drink dangerous amounts of alcohol. You’re absolutely right. Under normal circumstances, it’d ruin our livers for good and many of us would take toilet breaks to vomit. In fact, most host clubs have that happening, but not here. Again, thanks to our meddlesome manager. He also uses his water magic to freeze and dilute the liquor in our bodies so it has a slower burn and a far less critical effect on us. He won’t have his precious employees or clients dying from organ failure. He even measures it out so we can all still get a buzz but without murdering ourselves with questionable decisions.” Yugai knew then and there. What he was watching was a man embarrassed about his own friendship with another man.

“Yeah, so basically you need to entertain your lady. We do this mainly with conversations that let her speak out her problems in a frank and honest manner, but sometimes they don’t wanna talk about the heavy shit, so you do something lighthearted. Small talk, magic tricks, singing, dancing, perform your heart out to ease hers. That’s your job. By the way, it isn’t uncommon to go out with a client after hours to keep them happy and interested in coming again. Some places also incentivise sleeping with your customers. We don’t approve of that here, at least as an official endorsement. Bossman says that what two consenting adults do together is up to them, but if you’re going to cause trouble you better be ready for the consequences. Take that as you will. Also, you’ll be expected to regularly text your customers to keep them coming here. We found out you don’t have a phone, so here.” Kentarou chucked a red flip-phone at Yugai who caught it midair and inspected it thoroughly. “It’s cheap and disposable, but don’t break it, it’s your responsibility now.”

“So that’s the basics down. Next comes the things we have to do while working and the hierarchy.” Kentarou finally stopped looking at the ceiling and looked at Yugai directly. “We get all sorts of clients of many age ranges, from college girls to much older women. Treat them all with respect and try to appeal to their demographic and way of thinking. You’re supposed to be in their corner, so act like it 24/7.” He bent down and cupped his hands together. “I do that by encouraging them to challenge the problems in their lives and change for the better. Aramis, the number one host here instead focuses on making them feel comfortable and relaxed, not having to worry about the problems waiting for them. There are a ton of styles you can employ, Lang wants me to coach you probably because he thinks that you can appeal to a similar target audience like my own. Tch, training my own competition. Seriously, what a joke, if I took this job more seriously… forget it. The Four Kings and the manager are at the top and everyone else is below it, our rankings are based on our sales and we check every month and compare to the other clubs. ” He shook his head and regained his composure.

“You’re a really honest and energetic person, so mostly be yourself but learn to hold your tongue and keep the mood appropriate. Watch for visual and audio cues for when you should press closer or back off from a topic. Lang has set up a girl for you to talk to. Think of this as an interview… no, it’s a training session. We’ll be heading back down and you can try to win her over. I’ll watch from a distance and assess how you do. I know I talked your ear off, so now, if you have any questions, sigh, please ask before we leave.”

Yugai raised his left arm high into the sky as if he was a student in school. Kentarou buried his head into his hands. “Of course. Dammit. Maybe it would have been easier to address them as they came up instead of leaving them all at the end! Fuck! I can only blame myself.” Kentarou grumbled as Yugai waited for permission from his teacher. “Go. One at a time though.” Yugai brought his right index finger to his chin as he started to organise his curiosities in order of importance and when he loaded his lips as if they were bullets. Kentarou mentally readied up all sorts of answers he could expect from a new employee. It was going to be machinegun fire.

“What’s the policy on physical affection?”

“No kissing, no groping! Shoulder to shoulder is fine, hugs only if no one else is watching!”

“When do we get paid?”

“First of every month for your regular wage which is basically just over minimum! Commission money will be dealt out at the end of the week.”

“Do I have any duties besides entertaining women and helping my fellow hosts?”

“Since you’re not one of the Four Kings you also need to clean the place and any other odd jobs that we ask of you. We could just use magic to do it, but Lang does believe in building character.”

“If I need help what do I do?”

“Ask politely for it, we have a guy for that, but never, ever, ever leave a customer alone under any and all circumstances!”

“Thank you very much!”

“I’m just doing my darned job as are you, don’t thank me for anything yet!”

Finally, the war had ended. They stood up and headed back to the elevator and entered it just as Kentarou sighed and Yugai seemed ecstatic for what may come next.