《Charisma's Caster, King of the Night》Chapter 3 - Complacency and Innocence

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"You’re going insane. That’s what you’re thinking right now, right, Yugai? Don’t worry. Plenty of people go through this type of thing, and well, you’re not suddenly developing schizophrenia or something. This is only a temporary bout, a fleeting moment of synapses in your brain, forming into three voices inside your head, telling you what to do. Yes, I’m talking to you too, Yugai. My voice is very normal, at least compared to those two. You know why? It’s because I’m your inner voice. You know, whenever you think to yourself, and have conversations with yourself? That’s me. Yeah, usually I’m not detached like this. By the way, did you know some people actually do not have an inner voice? Some people also cannot imagine images and the like. That’s quite wild. Some people have many voices in their head… oh, I should stay focused and on topic. You’re suffering a… well, I was going to say mental breakdown, but that’s not true. Everything is shutting down. You’re dying. Losing both oxygen and blood, fast."

“Yeah, and you should let it happen.” The old voice; “No! Don’t! He’s a… shithead! Live!” The boy; "They are not going to stop fighting, just so you know. If you haven’t figured it out already, they are also you. We are all aspects of you. You’re in shock and in panic, but to prevent your total mental collapse, we’ve manifested like this. As I said before, this is… probably, not going to happen again. A unique experience brought about by impending and violent doom. Don’t worry, we’re not wasting too much time, all this conversation is happening in microseconds within your brain. It’s moving at like 100% efficiency and output, so we can talk for hours, and it’s actually just about a second. But it’s still important we get to the right conclusion. This is a rather drastic shift from how you’re usually used to processing your thoughts. If you need a few seconds to let it sink in, I understand, and again, I have to stress it rather strictly, this is a one-time thing. It's back to your own personal thoughts, or third person if you will, when this is done."

“Don’t bother, please. It’s too much. I’ve had enough, and so have you. You made a big show earlier about wanting to live, and see where it got you? Dead, again. Or at least about to be. We could have perished relatively peacefully, without pain, feeling nothing, without stupid expectations, and yet you mucked that all up. With a flight of fancy, boyish hope. You let yourself listen to this brat.” The adult shoves the child in disgust. “What the hell!? There’s nothing wrong with me! You’re the messed up one! You’re asking us to commit suicide, that’s what you’re doing! You’re taking the easy way out! Shut up, old man! You stink of… shame! We’ve missed out too much of life because you always tell him to just accept shit, that it’s okay!”

"I can accept this, I can accept that. I’ve parroted those sentiments internally many times for him, and for you. That’s practically your mantra. The older version of you loves these words a lot, it’s nicotine to him. The younger you hates it, of course, he’s a rebel against pretty much anything. I think you already know what these two are all about. They have both already drawn their lines in the sand, but in the end, you’re the version of us out there. The piece of us that lives, and breathes, and yes, dies. So, I’m not going to push you too hard, but you need to make a decision about us, and what’s happening right now."

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"You’re going to die at this rate, duh. I don’t need to tell you that, but you need to make a choice. Are you going to listen to the jaded dead-eyed drifter, who just lets everything roll off his back because he just doesn’t care anymore? Will you let him take the win today? Will you try to shut off your body, and let death peacefully take you to nothingness? Or does the hopeful and demanding bratty, but earnest, boy get to play outside, and try to take you further on the adventure of life? Well, what do you say, Yugai? Are you going to listen to option A, or option B? ...Ah, I see you want to hear my opinion...? You think since I’m your inner voice, I’ll be most true? It’s not that easy, I’m afraid. I know I said before that we are all you, but it’s important, very important, that you call the shots. None of us can make the final play. However, for what it’s worth, that is my opinion. All of the options you have are not wrong, they are all equally valid, so long as you are the one making them. Don’t let us, or anyone else, strongarm you into a box. This isn’t a trick question. You cannot make everyone happy, even yourself at times, so don’t try to do that. Do what’s right, and what's best for you."

"With that in mind, let’s hear your voice one more time. No one can hear it, because your head is buried underwater? You’re really silly, man. You don’t need a voice to scream and shout what’s in your soul. I’d like for us to sing and dance it out if we could, but... I’m afraid we’re going to have to settle for a powerful inward yell, thirsting for whatever we desire. That’s also part of life, making compromises, but the method here doesn’t matter, the intent does. That is something you shall not and must not give an inch in over.

"Give up!"

"Never surrender!"

"I need to know. I need to know what we’re going to do… please. I don’t know? You don’t know? Oh, man. Alright, that’s fine. Take as long as… oh, no. Oh, no. Your brain. He rattled your brain with that last hit. I said we had seconds that would end up being a few mental hours, but the rat-man has just made a liar out of me. Sorry. Quicker. Faster. Better. I need you. You need you. So choose, now!

'I don’t want to die… but living is so hard... I have to get up every morning, and do the same thing over and over again, without any real end in sight. I don’t know why I do any of the things I do. Besides, well, that’s just life. So, I get it. I know, I understand. It’s very tempting. It makes sense. Let it end here, and that horrible longing disappears, because there will be nothing. Less than even the void, but on the other hand… I’m not satisfied. There’s so much I’ve missed out on, that everyone keeps bragging about and showing off. I’ve seen people with hunger and fire in their eyes that I’ve never had. I can’t help but be drawn to that flame, even if it burns me to ashes, a part of me thinks all the pain in the world might be worth it, just to bask and embrace in that glorious light for even a few more seconds. To know its heat. To know its boundless love, despite the price I’d have to pay. Honestly, being frank with… myself, hah… I kind of want to do both. Just take it, let it all go. Fight back tooth and nail, and hope for a better and brighter tomorrow… It's hard.'

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“I know it’s hard on you. That’s why you shut yourself off. That's why you don't just let yourself go wherever the breeze takes you. You’re not trash floating in the wind. You’re worth something. It’s hard to feel that, and remember that. When you hear it, you don’t believe it. Your armour keeps it from reaching your heart, because you’re worried it’s not a loving arrow, but a twisting knife. You expect disappointment and regret, so you’ve put up a wall to keep it all out. The good and the bad. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, us, all of us, from that pain. Instead of facing the challenges of life and coming out of it for the better, I avoided and blocked them all. We could never grow like that, but now we have a chance to change everything!"

“Also, you. You’re excited. I get it. So am I. There’s so much I want to see and do. Experiences I need to, well, experience. If we see another dawn, let’s run towards it together, but let me remind you, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. There’s a reason why he is the way he is. There’s a reason why you became him, and he was born from you. I have to apologise for letting you down to the point you got buried so far down I couldn’t hear you, or even entertain a silly thought here and there. I have to apologise, for not letting us live out our childhood. Had I just ran in there, without thinking, we’d get burned. He’s not completely wrong, and you are not completely right.

“It’s hard for you to have faith. It’s hard for you to not be bitter about what we’ve missed. I can no longer just be a shell of a man. I can no longer be a kid. The time has passed for both of those things, I think… But I still have time to be me. To be the best version of us there ever will be, because he’ll be growing, each and every day, with every passing moment. But for that to happen, we need to get out of this. We need to win. So, if it’s not too hard, please, push forward. We can do it one step at a time, and hey, maybe, later down the road, you’ll be proven right. That blizzard you’re waiting in? Look up. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Use that cold to think of something bright and warm. Use your wisdom and get us out of here. As for you, a little caution wouldn’t hurt, but help me breakthrough with your dense head and blazing heart. That’s the power and blessing of youth. I, we, still have quite a bit, no, a lot of it left. Let’s go!”

"I’m proud of you. I love you. Tell yourself that more. It’s important.

This feeling right now? This sense of calm after all that rage and regret?

The mixing of Yin and Yang, the point where light and shadow meet, and make a beautiful eclipse of two opposing forces, working towards the same goal, but having come from and going in opposite directions. That’s what we’ve been looking for. That’s Mystical Power. Seize it!

It’s ours, it’s yours. No one can take this from you. This blade of shining shadow."

"Alright, let’s fight!"

Four voices in unison, all the same man, yelled together until they became one once more. “Live!” It’s just one word, but enough to turn the key in the driver’s seat, and get the engine to begin roaring back to life. Colour returns to Yugai’s eyes. His vision is still dim, but narrowed to the right side of his adversary’s head. And even though his life is hanging on a thread, it’s being held tight with every ounce of spirit he has. To let it go would only result in death, and he’s not ready for that yet. One more push of resolution. The will to fight burns. His legs cannot move, or muster power from this restricted position. His right arm is useless, and inert. Magic is not an option. Physical strength is not enough. That only left one singular option. Countless signals, sent from the brain to the remaining left arm, and a screaming soul breathes life into every cell. Electrical and chemical desire pumps them to the last chance this body has, of survival. He forces his upper body above the waves one last time, and gasps for air as he readies himself for his last and only gambit.

Something shimmers, for just a second, before his line of sight. A silver glow. It was a coin. A single shiny 100 yen coin. It’s not worth all that much to a lot of people, but to Yugai, who had spent his whole life saving every single penny he could find; a single one like that could get him one or two packs of extremely cheap food. It's a precious resource that had always been with him. An essential tool, and part of his daily life. His body and mind found the final piece of the puzzle. His soul now knew the true value of the metal before him. A lightning bolt of inspiration. He reaches out, and grasps the coin with his remaining functional hand before it can be swept away by the current of the river. 'Now or never'. His mind burns.

“If my magical power is really that weak because I lack Charisma, there’s nothing I can do about it right now. So I have to go for quality and not quantity. Bigger is not always better. It’s not about size, it’s about how you use it. I’ve seen this in manga a billion times. No need for a big flashy finish, when a smaller and condensed form can do the job just as well, if not better. Focus it all on a single point. I can’t overstretch, or it’ll all be worthless. I only have one shot at this! C’mon. From my left shoulder, carry this white-hot sensation downwards until it meets my hand. Don’t spread it out. Keep it together. Pack it and wrap it until it’s just a speck. Push down as much as you can, don’t let it disperse. Bring it all to a single finger. The left index. Slowly, carefully, propel it to the tip of the nail. It’s vibrating. It’s almost impossible to keep still, but I must. Imagine metal being forged within my body. I am one with steel. This fingertip… this nail is harder and sharper than diamond.”

Something forms around the left index finger of Yugai. A singular metal talon-like object attached with a thinly wrapped silver ring. He puts everything into his left arm as he fires it off, like a bullet being propelled from its chamber. His arm seems to almost defy physics and anatomy, as it bends to make sure its package follows its desired trajectory and finds the proper target. It’s a bolt of lightning. His body and mind have redirected all its functions to committing entirely to this unique sequence of actions. The small and thin metal nail strikes true. It pierces the right eyeball of the rat-man, and explodes into white and red upon contact.

Words come to his lips, not from his soul, but from somewhere bigger, and greater. What he just did is a technique that has a name, and it spoke to him.

“Mystic Art: Tiger Sting.”

“An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.”

Yugai doesn't stop there. He keeps pushing onwards and upwards with a raging roar. It sinks deeper and deeper down the canal, until it reaches something soft and tender. It rips that apart too, and digs even further within. Snap. Splorch. Something breaks in the beast above. Its arms let go of the shield and hammer, dropping them as if they were tools that no longer held a purpose, just dead weight, and now better off discarded than held onto. Yugai pushes the rest of his body into a forced march of action. He won’t let this chance slip. He draws back the single finger from the wound it forged. A grinding sound erupts as it leaves the monster's head. It has done considerable damage in both entry and exit. The metal talon crumbles apart into dust, no more Mystic Power to hold it together. It is now or never. Yugai throws his body above the smaller humanoid, grips its neck with his left hand and shoves it into the bottom of the running river he was suffocating inside, mere moments ago. He plants his crushed right arm over the torso of the creature, and uses his elbow to apply pressure on the solar plexus. The shoe is now on the other foot. The beast begins to drown under the sparkling blue.

Yugai pushes down with bloodlust and a murderous intent he never knew he had. Bubbles rise and dance around his left hand. He ignores them. The rat's body spasms uncontrollably, but not in any meaningful way. Yugai can see it, within the red eyes of the rat-man. Something fundamental had been annihilated by the attack Yuagi had unleashed. The body before him could not mount any resistance, let alone a counterattack, despite the desires of the owner. The creature is subjected to the knowledge that all attempts to save itself are all futile and doomed, without a single doubt. The fight is effectively over. The last few bubbles are let free. The last twitches of muscles cease. Yugai coughs and wheezes, expelling as much liquid as he can and gasping for precious oxygen. Blood runs down his now empty right eye socket. The rat-man is dead. It’s over. He won. He wails. He cries. Partially from relief, partially from joy, and even partially from the guilt that he had to take another life. Even if it wasn’t exactly human, even if it had tried its best to kill him, it didn’t completely sit right with him. He couldn’t justify it haphazardly. He killed to live. The reality of that starts crashing into him… until there is no longer a river. No longer a monster. No brick walls or tiny plants, or dim but glorious light. Just boxes, tall shelves, and himself, sitting in the centre of a mess within the middle of a supply warehouse. Crying like a child who has gotten lost and separated from his family and friends. The pressure of not really knowing where and what he’s gotten himself into.

“...Congratulations. I’m impressed.” The voice of Hakuro praised him, but he barely registers the words that were supposed to console him. People start rushing over to see what’s wrong... they see the mess, they see the wounds on his head and the missing eye, and they panic. They assume that the boxes fell and dealt great damage to his head. They rush over to help him while some managers start whispering in hushed tones to one another about what they are going to do. Some people rush to the security cameras to see just exactly what happened…they see footage of a black and white cat being startled and knocking off cargo below to the unfortunate young man, and in a flash, a scene of carnage. As if a landslide had decided to crash on a single person for no reason besides bad luck.

A wave of relief falls over the workers, this isn’t their fault. No one will come under fire for this. At least, until the cat appears before them, leaps up to the shoulder of the warehouse manager and very affectionately rubs its body against his cheeks. The next few minutes are a big display of sudden outbursts of love and shock. Hakuro plays the perfect part of a pet that loves its owner, and suffers incredible pain and betrayal. He was playing the part well, when his supposed caretaker tried to push him away and screamed at him to get lost… It's all caught on camera, with tons of witnesses. What follows is a profuse apology, a hushed meeting behind closed doors, and a generous monetary agreement towards Yugai for his injuries, to not bring them up in court. A nice and comfortable settlement of pure cash. He’s sent off to a hospital with all expenses paid, the bill of course, charged to the warehouse, naturally. A representative accompanies him, to aid his recovery, as well as to take notes about him for her superiors and when the day is done, she turns in a file that reads as follows:

Subject Izumi Yugai

After his checkup, inspection, and treatment for his head wounds, he seemed calm. He smiled as he asked the doctor who treated him for, in his words, “a cool and stylish black eyepatch. If you can’t find and reattach my eye, then I might as well get something out of it.” There seemed to be a lot of optimism from him for the rest of the day, after his request was fulfilled. He was smiling all day at everyone who got near him, and tried to strike up conversations constantly and talked with a positively childish excitement. While his rapid-fire speech did seem to discomfort many he spoke to, there seemed to be a lot of general amusement in response. It seems that the wound that was caused by the accident is mostly covered by the eyepatch covering his right eye, and that the ones that were not would heal in time. He seemed to be in good enough condition to be discharged rather quickly, and took the chance with glee. On his way home, he stopped in a patisserie. He ordered “a slice of everything.” He ate it all with wonder painted on his face. The staff had apparently seen him many times passing on his transit to his construction jobs, but he had never bought anything before today. In the past, when workers tried to pass him a flyer advertising the products of the store, he had always ignored them or said he doesn’t buy unimportant things. This change in behaviour is seemingly drastic. When he arrived home, he thanked me for the escort, and wished me luck with a wide grin. My assessment is that he will not sue the company, or ask for further compensation. But perhaps this incident has altered his brain chemistry, due to multiple cranial impacts, or simply the reaction of having a near-death experience. We have no way to know the long term feelings and effects this will have, so I’d advise on some low-level monitoring, or occasional checkups. In conclusion, he is presently not a problem, and seems to have no resentment or long-lasting damage. We are currently safe from any retaliatory actions.

She sighed. Why did she always have to write this sort of stuff in this way?

It had been a long day for Izumi Yugai, but it was also the beginning of the new lease he now had on life. Literally. Seven days. In seven days he must fight for his life again. Once more, at The Rock, though that is a week away. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new challenge, in the streets and districts with fluorescent red lights. His next mission? To become a host. Hakuro leaps into the house from an open window.

His life and adventure had only just begun.

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