《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Unwritten Kingdom》Chapter Six: A Late-Night Sip of Odditea
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“I haven’t been this out of breath,” May panted as she reached for a can of kumquat juice. “Since Janus set my rear end on fire last semester.”
“I never had breath to begin with,” Janus said, winking and leaning on May’s bed.
Mena lay on her backside, gazing up at the ceiling from her bed. “555 BJR…in the Dularectory,” she said, pensively. “Why didn’t the letter simply tell us to look there?”
Janus strolled over to Mena’s bed, a mischievous smile on her pale face. “Maybe I’m not the only one with a twisted sense of humor.”
“You think?” Mena asked, turning onto her belly. “Either way, good job out there, girls. Especially you May. You showed a lot of bravery out there.”
May toasted the air with her kumquat juice. “And I’m not done yet!”
Mena giggled, sitting up and holding her hand to her face. “Leo would never be able to resist a brave girl like this. You’re a BEAST deep down.”
May hid her mouth behind the kumquat juice. Her face was bright pink. “Am I a sexy beast?” she asked shyly in her deep voice.
“The sexiest,” Mena exclaimed. “One whiff of your bravery and Leo won’t even need any perfume to be seduced by your wiles.”
May put her hands on her love handles. “Watch out, Leo,” she said, breathily. “I’m a real beast mama! We’re going to the library tomorrow to find the author and save the Unwritten Kingdom.”
May stood up and strutted to the center of the room. “And I, Maylene Cumberson will be the hero of the ages. Beast men of Dula will all kiss my toes.”
Belly laughter filled the air, before it was cut short by a quip from Janus. “I hate to put your quest for world…and male domination on pause, but the library’s closed tomorrow.”
May walked over to her bed and threw her body on top off it. “Buzzkill,” she murmured into her pillow.
Mena spent the entire weekend in careful study. Once she had gotten Cumberson and Apo Carrie’s homework out of the way, she focused her attention on two far-more important projects: Operation: Get Stella’s Cred Back and Operation: Get Caligari to First Base and Beyond. Much to her surprise, both were extremely easy. Mena firmly believed she was in the know of cutting-edge lingo, and she prepared an excellent introduction to Stellaris’ class.
It’s gonna blow all these teeny-boppers minds, she thought to herself.
Mena lay on her belly with her legs up in the air, giving a confident laugh as she wrote, ‘The Kooliest Lesson Plan Ever” on the top of it. She then turned her attention to scouring the thirteenth volume of Love In The Days of Magic. Not only would she be the “Masta of Kool” but the “Luv Masta” as well. Filling her mind to the brim with ideas how to be a seductress in the presence of a tall dark, handsome and comedic gentleman. Mena was now ready to venture out and give Caligari the coaching she needed.
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As night fell over the Dream Castle, she bid her friends goodbye and stole away into the darkness. She stumbled through pitch-black corridors, illuminated only occasionally by swaths of melted moonlight. Reaching the upper tier of the castle, Mena reconvened with Caligari. After assuring her professor, she’d have an easy checkmate in the game of L-U-V, Claigari shrouded Mena in a veil of shadows.
The phantom professor climbed the spiraling staircase to Gemini’s study. From her place in the darkness, Mena watched her professor’s knobby knees shake beneath her pale silver dress.
Caligari observed the door, staring at it like it would open on its own. “Well,” Mena snapped. “Don’t stand there. Knock. Knock like you’re the thunderous heart-beat in Gemini’s chest.”
With her unibrow furrowed, Caligari pounded the door like she was bashing a nightcreeper’s skull in.
The door cranked open a slight notch. A rainbow eye gazed from the darkened slit of the doorway.
“Caligari,” a squawky voice cried. “Great jumping jesters, I thought it was the inquisition.”
“The inquisition?” Caligari asked as her unibrow shot up. “What are you talking about?”
Gemini opened the door; his radiant tan and dashing figure were on display in a purple skintight tuxedo. “Never mind. What brings you to my humble abode tonight?”
Caligari jumped to a salute. “I’ve got some urgent business with you…”—Caligari then looked off shyly. “And some not so urgent business.”
Gemini leaned in closely, so closely, in fact, his pointed nose almost touched Caligari’s forehead. “Does it involved the law?” he asked very sternly.
“Uh no,” Caligari responded, squirming frantically over his presence.
Gemini pulled his head away, and gave an excited dance, before holding his white gloves out. He beckoned her with a winsome grin. “Then be my guest.”
“I’ll go prepare some tea,” Gemini said, and he rushed off.
Caligari was about to follow, but her shadow held her in place. “Hold on,” Mena said, lecturing her professor. “What do you mean your feelings aren’t urgent business?”
“Welll,” Caligari said, pushing her fingers together as she watched Gemini. “Compared to the balance of Dula, they’re inconsequential.”
“Uh-but-but,” Mena snapped, and pulled out her book from the shadows. “It reads here in Penwell’s latest volume that a maiden’s feelings are as important as the fate of the world… at least in the romance genre.”
“Ok, got it,” Caligari said, and Mena released her. She stumbled into Gemini’s study from being wound up in place.
His vast chamber was almost entirely dark, with the sole exception of the spinning module above them. It showed glowing planetoids and several stars, revolving in place around Autolycus and Dula. The light projected onto a small wood table and chairs. A purple tea pot steamed in the air alongside two pink tea cups with green polka dots.
Gemini pulled out a chair with a debonaire expression on his face. He allowed her to sit down first before he followed. Caligari swallowed hard. Mena whispered to her from beneath the chair. “Don’t be afraid. A true woman shows no fear in a situation like this.”
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“I’m happy you’re eager to share a cup off Odditea with me,” Gemini said, as the tea pot whistled a friendly, toe tapping tune.
He poured a pink-white checkered liquid into the cups.
“Odditea?” Caligari asked as her tea soared over to her.
Gemini cawed in response. “Yep, Odditea. Goes great with a pinch of salt and a little bit of nonsense here and there.”
He sipped the tea immediately and gave a sad chuckle. He glanced wistfully into the space above him. “I’ve been needing a brand of Odditea recently. I’d rather be adrift in my own crazy dreams than face up to what happened last semester.”
Caligari was silent but listened intently. Gemini took another sip with a solemn expression. It was unbefitting for someone of his joviality. “It looks highly unprofessional what happened to me. I may be a professional fool, but I take that profession very seriously.”
Gemini shook his head and gazed into his tea. “I really hope someone won’t have my job for this---Phantom Incident.”
Mena whispered up to Caligari. “Now’s the time, teach. Show him how compassionate you are.”
Caligari looked around helplessly, like a fish flailing on dry land. She breathed hard and closed her eyes. “Gemini, if that’s the case. I will defend you.”
Gemini didn’t look convinced. “I know you see that, Cali-baby. I only hope others will…”
“I’ll uh…uh…’ Caligari stammered before Mena took the reins and whispered right in her ear. “Repeat after me,” Mena said, and Caligari followed her example. “If not, I’ll make them see. I’ll make them see you for the dashing, whimsical fool you are. One who knows that a pinch of fun should come with every lesson.”
Mena’s shadow wrapped around Caligari causing her to stand. She held her hand to her heart and the other to the sky. “Oh, my Gemini,” Caligari exclaimed. “I will defend you to the ends of the world and then to the stars and past them.”
“Wow,” Gemini said, stupefied. “Someone’s got a way with words. Have you been spending time with Stellaris’ theater productions?”
“No,” Caligari responded, sitting back down. “I simply said the words from my heart.”
“Thank you, Cali-baby,” Gemini said, and Caligari smiled, realizing she scored some brownie points. “Now what was this urgent and not-so-urgent business of yours?”
‘Right,” Caligari said, shaking her head. “I’ve recently been informed that there’s an enormous blot of nightmare in Dula. Apparently, it’s been affecting the magic powers in the dream world.”
“Oh?” Gemini said, holding his tea cup to his mouth.
“My question is,” Caligari began. “What used to be there in Dula? Before it was covered in nightmare miasma?”
Gemini placed his cup on the table, giving Caligari an earnest look. “I cannot recall, and no one in Dula has made a mention of it. Whatever used to be there is gone, and its affecting everyone’s memories in the dream world. We’ll need someone” —Gemini turned and winked—“hopefully, a little witchy poo, to save the missing piece of Dula.”
Mena gasped, trying to ease herself further into the shadows. Did Gemini know she was there? There was no way that was possible. More importantly, however, she was starting to realize what the missing piece of Dula was.
“I’ll uh…” Caligari responded, feeling edgy too. “Be sure to inform her.”
Gemini finished his tea and put his hands behind his head. “Now what was this less-than-urgent business?”
Caligari turned paler than a sheet of freshly fallen snow.
“Now’s the time,” Mena exclaimed in her ear. “Seize the moment. Claim that handsome jester boy as your own.
Caligari began to laugh nervously. She sipped her Odditea for the first time with her eyes closed. Mena waited for Caligari to speak, but when the phantom professor did, everyone was in for a surprise.
With eyes now full of pink-and-white checkers, Caligari mirthfully giggled like a schoolgirl and sang, “Fifteen magenta butterflies dancing atop a green octopus.”
Uh-oh, Mena thought. Perhaps Gemini had brewed the tea a bit too strongly for her.
Much to everyone’s surprise, Gemini chuckled. “You’re an odd one, Cali, but that’s why I like you, kid.”
Caligari blinked the checkers out of her eyes as Gemini continued to praise her. “You go great with a cup of Odditea,” he remarked with a laugh. “How about we have another one this week. Over dinner?”
Caligari politely pushed the tea away, blushing heavily. “Of course,” she said with a head nod. “That would be perfect.”
“A date it is,” Gemini said with a smile.
After their meeting, Caligari rushed out to a safe distance before uncharacteristically screaming ‘EEEEEEE” happily.
Mena emerged from the shadows. “Well done teach. And you did the last part on your own. I had no idea getting drunk on LS-Tea would help you seduce him.”
“Who knew indeed?” Caligari responded before sternly lecturing Mena. “But don’t think about using that for your love problems…”
“Of course not,” Mena smiled, holding her hands apart in an imaginary rainbow. “The only drug I get high on is my Imagicnation.
“Good,” Caligari said with a gentle smile. “I hope you found the answer you were looking for Willow.”
“I did,” Mena nodded with eyes brighter than the stars. “I think I might know something I didn’t before. The missing piece of Dula…and the source of my missing powers…could possibly be, the Unwritten Kingdom.”
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