I knew that something was up the moment he stepped through the door. After being married for so many years a girl gets to know how her dearly beloved acts and the way Howey was acting now wasn’t like him. He had the air of someone who had just done something they knew they shouldn’t do and was trying their best to keep it cool, like a druggy around a cop. I played my suspicions close to my chest and acted like I didn’t notice the hint of bourbon in his breath, I’m much better at keeping a secret than he is.

It was stupid of me, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He is my husband after all and what are marriages good for except turning a blind eye towards your lovers’ issues. But the evidence kept piling and piling and so did my suspicions. At first, it was simple things like late workdays and unexpected meetings. Then it was the scent of perfume on his neck, the red smear of lipstick on his collar, and the not to mention what I found on his pillow. It was a strand of hair, long and blond unlike mine which was short and brown and there was only one answer to what it was doing on his pillow.

I knew I needed to catch him in the act, as a defence attorney Howey knew how to plead his case. He would tell me to ‘stop imagining things that aren’t there and to ‘trust him.’ I would trust ya Howey, but that size 7 pump in the closet doesn’t belong to me now does it?

I told him I was going to work but secretly I had other plans. I rolled my car up with a nice view of the house and waited for my bastard husband to make the first move. Sure enough, out he went in his nicest suit and tie, a pair of clothes that I had bought him. I didn’t follow him; I knew he would be coming back- how else would he get another bimbo’s hair on his pillow?

I watched as his car rolled back into our driveway. Out stepped Howey closely followed by a tall, skinny blond girl with a waist the size of a soda can. I couldn’t believe it; 8 years of marriage and I’m getting pushed to the side like some bag of garbage, am I? I wasn’t gonna sit idly by and watch it happen!

I pulled a can of pepper spray out of my glovebox; a girl can never be too safe around here. I stormed into that house like a tornado tearing up a trailer park- but they were nowhere to be seen. Already in the bedroom, I guessed.

I kicked in the door and held the spray in the air, waving it around and searching for my traitorous husband’s face. But there it was, as plain as day. A woman was in the bed alright, but to my surprise, she wasn’t breathing anymore.

Howey stood fully clothed and drenched in blood, the woman’s no doubt. In his scruffy hand, he held a knife that he swiftly plunged deeper into the blond’s body. The bedsheet wasn’t white anymore and neither were the walls, now they were stark red. The nice suit I had gotten for my husband now was ruined; I couldn’t believe my eyes. I started to breathe heavily, I didn’t even suspect Howey was capable of such a thing!

“What?” I stammered, nearly dropping my pepper spray.

“Honey,” He tried to reach out his hand in a feeble gesture at calming me down. “I’m sorry, this isn’t what it looks like!”

“How… How could you?” I exclaimed. “What have you done?”

He looked like a kid who had just been put into detention. “I… Couldn’t help it.”

I felt the urge to shoot the pepper spray straight into his stupid eyes, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “Baby…” I said, dropping the can to the floor. “It’s alright… but we talked about this. I thought you promised me that you wouldn’t kill by yourself anymore. And look, you’ve ruined that perfectly nice suit I got you!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You better be!” I demanded, slowly rolling up the woman’s body in the bedsheets. “You’ve gotten sloppy without me, you left evidence everywhere! Now help me move this thing, I’ve gotta clean up the mess you made!”