A pained growl escaped Azura’s lips as she slowly opened her sleep-filled eyes. She could feel Lucas's steady heartbeat through his chest as her head rested on him but it was not particularly comfortable. Her chest was being constricted by his arms wrapped around her and her ribs were painfully throbbing due to the position she found herself in. Both of them were still fully dressed and surely the events of before flowed back to her.

Azura craned her neck to the side to tell the time and was surprised to find it only late afternoon. It’d only been a few hours ago that she’d fought Nathan and even less since she kissed Lucas again. It felt like a lifetime ago and even though it had felt like the right thing to do then, she wasn’t so sure now. Grimacing as she touched her sensitive ribs she realized the salve had done a pretty good job at numbing the pain but clearly it had already stopped working.

Trying not to wake the sleeping man beneath her, Azura tried to figure out where they were. Soft glowing embers betrayed her to be in the living room, on the couch, in between Lucas’s legs. Somehow she had fallen asleep on top of him...or correction; they had fallen asleep together. Azura frowned as she stared at the fireplace and for once, didn’t feel anything stirring within her before turning her attention back to Lucas and the rather uncomfortable position she still found herself in.

A sudden jolt of pain ripped through her as Azura wiggled to get in a better position, forcing her to clench her teeth together to make sure she wouldn’t make any sound. She gasped for air while clutching her side to ease the excruciating pain but it wouldn’t subside. Tears pricked behind her eyes as she shifted some more which resulted in Lucas stirring beneath her.

Still half asleep, his arms moved along her body and pulled her flush against his upper body. A surprised yelp and gasp combined slipped through her lips waking him a bit more. Lucas mumbled a bit before he buried his nose in her hair and took a big whiff.

“You smell.” He croaked, his voice still sleepy.

“You’re hurting me and you don’t smell pretty either.” She hissed back while biting away the pain.

With that, Lucas let her go straight away, giving her the space needed to freely move and slowly push herself up on her feet. Lucas sat up as well and grabbed her hand to keep her steady as Azura still seemed a bit shaky on two feet. Letting out a sigh of relief now that the pain was ebbing away, Azura wiped a few black strands of hair out of her face and pushed them behind her ears. This made Lucas stand up and he gently grabbed her chin to tilt her head sideways. His sudden close proximity startled her and Azura flinched slightly. He didn’t seem to take notice as he just observed the side where Nathan had hit her.

"You might be left with a small scar from this blow. You can see it here in your eyebrow and there might be a faint line running past your cheek and jawbone. People won't notice though unless they really take a close look at your face." He let her go and headed towards the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower. You need one too and afterward, you need to put that ointment on your ribs again." Azura nodded meekly, her voice caught in her throat.

She followed him up the stairs and entered her own room where she took off her dirty clothes and quickly put on a robe. She refused to look at herself, knowing that the sight of herself wasn’t that enjoyable. She was healing though, and quite fast too but it would take a while for the bruising to completely go away. The shower was still running, meaning Lucas was still underneath it. Azura slowly set herself down on her bed as she waited for him to exit. A cold shiver ran up her spine causing her to rub her arms to stay warm.

“Cold?” She whispered to herself as she raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is going on?”

She couldn’t remember when the last time she had been cold as the Phoenix always kept her warm. Digging deep inside herself she found nothing of the usual heat. There was probably a good reason for it though, they had been in a big fight which took a lot of strength from both her and the Phoenix. Azura dismissed it and her head shot up as she heard the bathroom door open and close soon after, indicating Lucas was done. He was a whole different matter and something she had no idea what to feel about. She had kissed him, and it had felt right at the moment. But now, she was not so sure. Right now, she just felt drained and empty.

*

Azura sneered as the cold salve touched her skin. She was sitting on the stool in the kitchen again, her hair still damp from the shower. The color of the skin on her ribs had changed from deep red and purple to a lighter shade of purple with greenish and yellow edges. She smeared the salve all over her ribs and shoulder trying not to inhale too much of the stench that came from it. Lucas had left her to it, as she had refused his help to apply it.

As soon as she was done, she closed the jar and pushed it along the counter as far away as possible. That smell was horrid and it was a miracle she had not gagged due to it. After thorougly washing her hands, she quickly dressed again, putting on a simple black long sleeve shirt followed by a thick dark purple knitted vest. As soon as she was done, she grabbed a chocolate bar and walked back to the living room while breaking off a piece and eating it.

Lucas had set himself on the leather armchair and checked his phone to see that he had a few missed calls and messages from the mayor. As he read the last message he wrote something back and tossed his phone to the side again, obviously quite annoyed.

"What was that about?" Azura asked while leaning against the door frame with the chocolate in hand.

"Just Ben. Wanting to know when you're gonna stop by. I told him we will as soon as you've recovered for everybody's safety."

"You make me sound like a maniac." Lucas grinned at her remark and walked closer, stopping just a few inches before her. The hairs on her arm raised up as he came close and she felt her face wanting to twitch to the side.

"You are." He moved closer as she stepped back into the kitchen again until her rear collided with the countertop.

Trapping her between his arms, his face moved closer but made sure not to touch. his lips briefly caressing her ear as he softly brushed her hair to the side. Azura’s breath hitched at the sudden close proximity. He slowly moved down to her neck, barely touching her skin. A shiver ran down her spine as he moved down her throat, his hot breath caressing her flesh and giving her goosebumps.

Her breathing became more shallow and she closed her eyes even as her body froze in confusion on what to do. He hadn’t laid a hand on her but the effect he was causing was huge. While heat pooled between her thighs, her mind seemed utterly conflicted. Her body reacted on instinct and she couldn’t stop herself from emitting a soft moan as his fingers grazed her arm.

Coming back to her senses, she pushed him away with all her might. Lucas chuckled and stepped away. He moved to the side and put the jar with the homemade ointment away while she took the moment to fully let herself calm down. Her heart was still racing; still felt his slight touch and warm breath on her skin. This kind of playing and jousting each other was new and she was afraid she wouldn’t get used to it. There was still something gnawing in the back of her mind and the feeling that something was missing made her feel more insecure.

Not knowing what to say and knowing he would let her simmer in her own awkwardness, Azura decided to just ignore what had happened. “I’m exhausted,” She broke into a big yawn which resulted in a curse as another sharp pain jolted through her body.

“You ok?” Lucas stepped closer, eyes filled with concern but she stopped him in his tracks before he could get too close. The last thing she wanted now was him within her personal space.

“I’m fine, just need to get some sleep.”

His presence was affecting her and she didn’t know if it was in a positive or in a negative way. Right now, she wanted some alone time more than anything but it would seem he had other thoughts. She walked past him and made her way up the stairs in the hope he wouldn’t follow. He had other ideas though as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and followed her up.

"What are you doing?" He spoke just as she was about to enter her own bedroom.

"Going to sleep. What else?" She bit back, annoyed. Azura had her hand on the doorknob but dropped it with a sigh as she turned around to face the taller man. “I need to rest. I’m hurting and frankly, you’re getting on my nerves and all I want is to sleep.”

"Grab your pillow and come to my room. You're sleeping next to me." Her nostrils flared as she clenched her hands into tight balls.

“What part about ‘You’re getting on my nerves’ don’t you understand, Lucas?! And why the hell did you bring a bottle of water?!”

"Oh I understand that perfectly fine, but I’m not letting you sleep alone tonight. I need to keep an eye on you. You pretend to be fine, but you’re hurting, Azu. More than you let on and I can see that. This is not up for discussion.” He stared her straight in the eyes, both not blinking as they kept their gazes locked.

Azura broke the contact first. She sighed and her shoulders slumped as she pushed past him to enter his bedroom.

“About the water; that’s for me to use if you try to kill me again in your sleep. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that little stunt.” His attempt to lighten the mood fell on deaf ears as she ignored him completely. “Oook… You can also just grab it if you wake up thirsty. Will save you a trip to the bathroom.”

Azura just growled at him as she took off her vest and yoga pants and crawled underneath the covers. Keeping to the side of the bed, she closed her eyes hoping he would just leave. After hearing him place the bottle down on the nightstand, she could feel his eyes burn into her before his footsteps indicated he left the room.

*

Her head was pounding like crazy. Her whole body ached. Her ribs were still sore and she felt her shoulder and legs burn now as well. But for once, the night had been calm and quiet without any dreams or nightmares. Azura took the two painkillers that she had grabbed from the bathroom cabinet and tossed some cold water in her face. Inside she felt quiet. There was no fire, no voice, and no pressure to shift. For once, she felt like a normal person. A broken normal person.

"Morning, sunshine." As she entered the kitchen Lucas was already there. He walked up to her and gave her a small kiss on the lips as if they had been together for a long time. She tried not to flinch when he did so. It felt a bit strange for Azura to just act like that as her own feelings were still all over the place, especially after what happened the evening before. She was still annoyed at him for forcing her to sleep in his bed, but it had been one of the best nights of sleep she had in forever.

Waking up, it felt like it had been wrong to sleep in his bed though. As if she wasn’t allowed to do so. She was feeling so guilty it made her want to throw up. Guilt towards Charlie and Nora even though they were long gone. She missed them so bad and moving on like this started to feel more wrong with every heartbeat. It was only sleeping, but it had almost felt more intimate than when they actually had sex. The more she let her thoughts run wild the more the feeling that she was cheating filled her mind.

"How are you feeling, Azu?" He had made her some breakfast and placed the french toast on the table. The smell was making her mouth water and her stomach grumbled loudly. She had not eaten properly in 24 hours she realized.

"I'm hungry and it feels like I was run over by a truck multiple times." She forced a small smile as she started eating, ignoring her feelings, and pushing them to the side.

The taste was overwhelming. Now that she wasn't wearing her ring and her sense of smell had returned she also noticed it affected her sense of taste. Even something as simple as french toast with a bit of sugar was an explosion in her mouth. No wonder she always craved food whenever she would shift.

"Don't you need to eat anything?" She finished the last bit and placed the plate in the dishwasher.

"No. I already had breakfast. I've been up for a couple of hours already. Do you mind..." He waved his finger towards her chest. "I need to check it. Make sure you are healing properly."

Azura took a deep breath and bit her lip, debating whether or not she would comply. She was not wearing a bra so he would get the full monty if she decided to show him but if she refused, he would definitely fight with her about it. Not wanting to get into another discussion with him she nodded and took off her vest followed by her t-shirt.

Judging by the pain, it would probably look like she had the galaxy painted on her ribs. As she looked down, she knew she was right. The colors had changed again and they actually did remind her of a galaxy. Purple, red, blue, and yellow tones all spread across her ribcage flowing from and into each other. As Lucas softly let his hand glide down her ribs, he applied pressure here and there making her flinch in pain. She just stared at the ceiling as he examined her. She wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

"Looks like any broken ribs you had have healed already. You're a fast healer, even for a shifter. Everything is just bruised now. That's actually more painful than broken ribs but unavoidable.” He took a good look at her shoulder and face, letting his hand glide over the still visible claw and bite marks.

"Self-inflicted wounds heal even faster." Her cold remark made Lucas look up confused. "I've broken my own hand by punching a wall once at Dr. Jensen's office. It was healed before I got home. Sure it was sore, but everything was back in perfect working order soon after.”

"Why would you ever do that?" He sounded surprised and finished checking her injuries. She grabbed her shirt and put it on again as she started to shiver slightly from being cold.

"Frustration, confusion, anger, you name it." She talked about it like they were talking about their favorite color.

"Well, please don't do that again." He hugged her and softly kissed her on her forehead before handing her the vest.

There was a knock on the back door and not soon after Jeff's face appeared behind the window. Lucas sighed, slightly annoyed their time together was cut short.

"Looks like Jeff and Sheila are back from their holiday." He walked to the back door and opened it, letting Jeff in. Sheila followed not soon after.

"Sorry to interrupt... Whatever that was." Jeff laughed and hugged Lucas before hugging Azura and giving her a kiss on the cheek. She flinched as he grabbed her tight but he let go soon enough. Sheila came right after and was much more gentle after seeing her painful reaction.

"You ok, hun? I believe we have so much to talk about!" Sheila was beaming and Jeff couldn't stop grinning either. "I'm sorry but I'm just going to throw this out here and then we can really talk. I'm pregnant!"

Baffled by the news Azura could only react by hugging Sheila and whispering a heartfelt congratulations. The women held each other for a while before Sheila whispered in her ear.

"You smell... different and who the hell pummeled you so bad? I swear if it's Luc-" Sheila could not finish before Azura interrupted her loudly, making the boys turn towards them.

"No! It looks like your hormones are already kicking in, eh? It was... Nathan... But he's doing a lot worse."

"Nathan?!" Jeff stared at Azura and then back at Lucas. "What did we miss?! Bring on the good stuff!" Lucas gestured them to the chairs and they sat down. Azura grabbed some water and placed it on the table.

"Well, you guys have big news... But you have missed out on some fun times here as well. Turns out, that woman..." Lucas pointed at Azura. "Is a snow leopard. Not just any snow leopard, but considering her eyes, you can guess the kind. Now after an...interesting night...she ran off, took off her protection," He placed the ring, which he still carried with him, onto the table. "And she riled up the entire city. Ben and the others found her and he made her fight Nathan as a welcome right. She had some tricks up her sleeve, and Nathan is out of order for a while. This one," He placed his hand on her shoulder. "is thankfully, allowed to stay. And that's the quick version."

Both Jeff and Sheila stared at Azura with their mouths hanging open. Jeff's surprise soon turned to pure amusement while Sheila started to look more concerned. It was Sheila who reacted first

"We are gone on a holiday for two weeks for the first time we are together and during that, you guys just... Turn everything upside down! Are you really alright, Azura? Nathan is not an easy opponent. What happened?"

“I’m physically going to be fine. Just black and blue." Azura took a few sips of her drink while tapping her knee absentmindedly before continuing.

“I… would not have been able to beat Nathan normally,” There was still no trace of the familiar warmth in her body, and by now it was unsettling her. “There’s something you guys should know.”

Azura continued explaining what had happened and decided to also tell them a little about the Phoenix. It was no use to hide it anymore as practically everyone knew by now but she left out the details and just brought them up to speed with what the rest had seen. With the emptiness that had settled deep in her core, Azura started to feel exhausted and her mind was wandering away from the actual conversation. Nonetheless, the smile on Jeff's face only grew larger the more she told them and as she finished he was grinning from ear to ear.

To Azura's surprise, neither Seila nor Jeff said anything about her being a blue-eyed leopard. It was like they didn't care about that. They had not asked any questions regarding her heritage but were far more concerned about her well being. They were curious about the whole Phoenix thing but Azura felt the lack of power to demonstrate. The longer the conversation went on, the more she started tensing up. The tapping on her knee intensified, the muscles in her strained jaw were actually starting to hurt, but the couple on the other end of the table seemed oblivious to her mental state.

Lucas seemed to catch on though as he slowly eased himself in the conversation, taking over her story while throwing her a few concerned looks. It was not a moment too soon as she withdrew herself in her mind while blankly staring past their friends. It looked as if she was listening but none of the words reached past her ears. Sometimes she forced herself to come back and stay with them, responding with a nod, or a simple answer.

"Nathan getting his ass kicked by you... Unbelievable! I guess my next stop will be to see how he is doing. But before I go do that I have to ask," Azura had missed a part again and bit her lip as she forced herself to focus on Jeff. His genuine smile turned into a playful one and a twinkle appeared in his eyes. "What is going on between you two? When we came home yesterday I took a quick peek through the kitchen window and what I saw was rather... friendly."

Azura groaned and buried her face in her hands embarrassed by the fact Jeff had actually caught them. The moment she started paying attention was the moment Jeff asked the most embarrassing question. Azura just shrugged and didn’t know what to answer. She didn't even know the answer to that question herself. She just waved the question off to Lucas and refused to look up.

"We just got to know each other a little bit better. Hence the interesting night." Lucas talked so casually about it it was hard to tell what he thought about it.

Azura looked up at Jeff and Sheila with almost pleading eyes. "Don't tell Rose just yet please."

"Too late for that." They turned to Lucas who leaned back in his chair. "She knew from the moment she saw me. I did my best to make it clear she would keep her mouth shut, but you know... it's Rose."

"We're never gonna hear the end of this, will we? I don't even know what to think of it. Maybe it was just a mistake." Azura groaned some more and softly banged her head on the table.

She had no idea of the impact of her words as her mind started clouding up again. Lucas stared at her as if stung by a wasp. He opened his mouth a few times wanting to respond but closed it straight away, just lost for words.

"Maybe it's time we leave." Jeff cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence, and got up as did Sheila. They quickly said their goodbyes and left the house through the kitchen door.

It was gone.

How often she had wished for the Phoenix to be gone and now it really was. The moment she had found out what was wrong; was the moment her anxiety flared up. Admittedly, she knew before but only accepted it when Jeff and Sheila were already there. Taking another step back she bumped into the wall behind her. Confused as to how she even got here, Azura forced herself to focus and actually see what was going on.

Her body was acting on its own and she had no recollection of what had just happened. When did she get up and what did she do? Since when were Sheila and Jeff gone? Why did Lucas stare at her with such a hurtful look in his eyes? Was he the reason she had been backing up against the wall?

Her head started to hurt as the questions popped up one after another. He came closer and she felt her breathing becoming more erratic. The sudden urge to run overwhelmed her as her confusion only grew. Why did she feel like she had missed an essential part of what just happened?

"Azura? What's going on? You're acting strange all of a sudden. One moment you're fine and next thing I know you're going crazy." He closed in on her and extended his hand to her.

Her eyes frantically darted between his hand and his face. She was starting to panic, her nerves were going into overdrive and her pulse was racing. It was getting harder to breathe and as she closed her eyes, white flashes started to dance in front of her. What did he want from her? What did she want from him? Her mouth filled with saliva. She had to keep swallowing to get rid of it and in between, she kept licking her lips. Words came to her in flashes, words she had no idea of what they meant or why they came from her. It was like someone else was speaking for her.

"I made a mistake...It's gone...You got too close..." Every word she spilled cut right through him. She could tell by his expression but somehow she could not stop the stream of words that flowed fast without intonation. "People I care about die. The Phoenix is gone. I am empty. I almost killed him. I enjoyed it...the power, having his life in my hands. I'm fucked up! I don't want to hurt you, or anyone else for that matter. I was stupid for showing myself. Shouldn't have done that..."

More white flashes clouded her vision as her voice shifted into a state of complete panic and even though at first she addressed him directly, after a few more sentences her words became more incoherent and her voice again softened like she was talking to herself. Disoriented, she slowly slumped down to her knees as she kept mumbling.

For a while, Lucas let her be, afraid of what she would do if he were to try to touch her. He wanted nothing more than to help her but he knew there was nothing he could do. He could only watch helplessly as she closed herself off from the outside world and seemed to get lost in her own.

Eventually, she stopped mumbling and just stared straight ahead while rocking back and forth hugging her knees. When she was 'gone' he softly grabbed her arm, shocked as to how cool her skin felt. He guessed she was right when she said the Phoenix was gone. She hadn't been this cool to the touch for a long time. As he tried to lift her up, she shook herself loose and assumed her first position again, not allowing him to touch her.

A catatonic state. Not the first time she went there. Lucas had called Doctor Jensen over and after assessing her, administered a big dose of benzodiazepine. She stopped rocking after thirty minutes and as her breathing calmed down Nicolai seemed to relax as well.

“She’s responding well to the medicine. Give her a bit of time to recover.” Nicolai started grabbing his things while Lucas stayed next to Azura as she slowly came back.

“What caused this, Nicolai?”

“You’ve got to understand she’s under a tremendous amount of stress, Lucas. The fight, being exposed as what she really is, you…. Add that to the trauma from before and it’s not strange she suffered a big setback.” The bald man adjusted his glasses as he watched Azura slowly move and lift her head to meet their gazes.

“How are you feeling, Azura?” The Vaim asked as he gestured for Lucas to come to him.

A bit dazed, Azura stared back at him. She bit her lip while moving every toe and finger till she was satisfied and finally responded. “Like… I’ve been hit by a truck… In my body and brain.”

She managed to push herself up from the floor, leaning on the wall for extra support. Lucas made a move to help her, but as she flinched back from him, Nicolai pulled the young man back next to him before focusing back on Azura.

“You should get some rest. Your body needs to recover from the fight and the stuff I gave you will make you relaxed and quite sleepy. Can I help you get up the stairs?” As he offered, he remained in the same spot while he touched Lucas to keep the man calm himself.

Azura shook her head. Right now, she did not want anyone touching her. The thought alone made her heart race. Without batting an eye at Lucas, she slowly made her way out of the kitchen, grabbing onto things to help support her. When they heard her getting up the steps, Nicolai followed making sure to keep his distance. After she disappeared into her own room, Nicolai let go of Lucas.

“What the hell, Nicolai! You completely flattened me out! Made me a puppet! She needed help and you just let her go alone. Into her own room?! I need to monitor her, make sure she is healing properly!”

“She needs to be alone. This is why I held you back and nullified your emotions.” Dr. Jensen coldly bit back. “You are saying what she needs, but she needs the opposite. Her body will heal, you don’t have to worry about that. Leave her be, give her space.”

Grabbing his coat, Doctor Jensen made his way to the door when he was sure Lucas got the point. Tipping his non-existent hat, he went out leaving Lucas alone. The tall man let out a sigh of frustration and walked to the cabinet holding the strong liquor. This was not something he had expected to happen. She had responded so positively towards him and just made a complete turnaround in only a few hours’ time.

“Fuck!” He slammed the coffee table after setting the bottle of whiskey next to it. After taking a few deep breaths, he filled the glass and chucked it down in one go. This was going to be a long day.