《The Elementalists》Chapter 27 - Rai

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We're falling.

My heart in my mouth, wind scraping at my eyes, my skin. . .

Lightening flashes through the night towards us, chasing us through the sky. I see Fina in my mind's eye, hear her laughter as thunder bellows in my ears. . .

Then Kass reaches for my other hand too. We're still falling, but now, we fall together, connected, our bodies splayed out like the wings of a bird. But no – he's not reaching for me – something is being ripped out of my fingers, Kass' nails scratching at my skin.

The Ultimate Wormhole.

Kass gouges it from my hand, and screams Charlie's name. In mid-air, a familiar void of sparkling stars and darkness and nothingness opens up and we tumble inside –

And hit the ground by Charlie's feet.

*

It's not night anymore. We're in Singavere. From out of nowhere, Henry is in my arms –

'It was him.' The words splurge from my mouth. 'Eldred. It was all him.'

Sammi's here, and Musa, I see his lips open as he starts to speak but then. . .

The Great Hall explodes.

Dove and I sat on the hills overlooking the Great Hall, dreaming about the day we would gaze out of those periwinkle windows. When we would sit by Jinaka's side, opposite the Emperor of Lares, Vesta's King and the Countess of Ceres as equals, rulers of our own planet, one designed just for us. . .

Glass shatters, showering the sky with diamonds that glint, an iridescent oil-slick in the sunlight. All the magic and dreams of Singavere tossed into the wind like a child throwing glitter into the air.

In a blaze of fire and smoke, the building crumbles to the ground.

I'd pass Quail every Thursday as he crossed the Visinium bridge for training. Only the Ra Youth were allowed to fly in the courtyard behind the Great Hall – I was jealous. I'd hum to myself, pretending to be listening to music as he'd pass. But I wasn't. And he'd glance at me out of the corner of his eye. And flash me a smile – he knew I'd be there. That I'd always be there.

Light, and heat, are blinding. I roll over, and over –

. . . then there's another flash of darkness. . .

And the light and the heat – and even Singavere itself – are gone.

*

'Rai? Rai. . .'

Someone's shaking me. My eyelids flicker.

I don't want to wake up. No thank you. Go away. Please go away. . .

'Rai, come on. Wake up. . .'

But I like that voice. I love that voice. I open my eyes, the sting of the air making me want to close them again immediately. But how can I – it's Kass. And Sammi. Their heads bow together, leaning over me with the same tortured expressions. The back of Sammi's head is bleeding all down her neck, and Kass is covered in soot, clean tracks streaked down his cheeks.

'Dove was in there.'

My lips are moving, but, it doesn't really feel like me talking.

Kass bites his lip. 'I know.'

'My. . . everyone was in there.'

'I know.' His hands ease me upright, and I sit facing him, feeling nothing.

Sweet, glorious nothing.

'They might have got down to the bunker in time. Charlie said lots of them had,' Sammi babbles, twisting her hands together.

I bang my fist on the back of my neck, just to check, just to make sure. But no. It's okay. Still just numbness, nothingness, no feelings, nothing at all. . .

'No, don't you do that. Don't you dare.' Kass' ghostly-white pallor, striking under the soot, mottles as his chest puffs out in outrage. Puffed up. . . Puffin. Oh. I get it now.

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He shakes me.

'Leave him alone!' Sammi tries to push Kass off, but he clings on; I can feel his fingernails digging into my shoulders. 'What's wrong with you?'

'Do you hear me, Rai? Don't you even dare.'

'Let him deal with things the way he wants –,'

'No. He needs to feel this. They need him to feel this! You don't understand, Sammi, but I know how it feels. I'm still goddamn feeling it – you think it ever goes away? It doesn't, not ever. But the feelings remind you that they were, you know? They were there, in your guts, in your soul, part of you, and you can't ignore that, you can't ignore them –,'

'Yes. I can.'

My voice sounds calm, even to my own ears. My numb ears. Can ears be numb? Ears can be numb. . .

Kass' eyes flash. 'I won't let you.'

'Well, you don't get to control my feelings. They're mine. Deal with it.' I get to my feet, taking a deep steadying breath. 'Where are we?'

'I – I don't know,' Sammi stammers, rising with me too. For a second, she stares at me, her eyes swimming, then she flings her arms around my neck in a stranglehold. I can't breathe.

I flinch away from her, feeling my skin crawl. I don't want to be touched.

By anyone.

She swallows and begins plaiting her ponytail, as though at a loss for what else to do with her hands. 'Kass used the wormhole to get us out of there.'

'Oh.' That makes sense, I guess. 'So, where are we?'

'I don't know.' She chews the ends of the plait, sniffing fiercely before turning to Kass. 'Kass?'

But Kass has turned away, his shoulders hunched.

'For heaven's sake!' Sammi yells, tossing her plait behind her shoulders. 'You think any of us are enjoying this? Grow up! The person I love more than anyone in the whole world just turned out to be a brain-washed killer – how do you think that makes me feel? And the Futurists are probably going to blast him and every other Resister alive to smithereens in retribution now, I don't know. But the craziest thing? The thought of anything happening to him still makes me feel –,'

'Singwari.'

Sammi pauses. 'What?'

'Singwari,' Kass repeats in a grunt. 'Look.' He tosses the silvery orb – the ultimate wormhole – to Sammi, who stares at in, lifting it up to the light to see it better.

'Is that a map in there?' She peers inside.

'Yeah. It's like the wormhole control panel is inside the orb.'

'Oh. . . So why here?'

I look around. It's hot – too hot. The kind of insane hot where your skin feels like its melting from your bones and you can feel yourself being slowly roasted in your own sweat. I lick my lips, suddenly aware of how dry they are. We're on yet another mountain side, I'm so sick of mountains, with clouds clumped around us in angry bundles. Like even they are sticking together, in an irritable, clammy mess.

It shouldn't be so hot. Not at this altitude. The air is thick with mist and sticky, mulch-y rain that stings in a thousand pinpricks. A fiery amber swirl shoots through the clouds as they congeal with the mist.

It's oppressive. It weighs you down, sits on your chest and wraps its fingers around your throat.

It shouldn't be this hot.

'Yeah, Kass.' I swallow. It's hard to swallow. 'Why did you bring us here?'

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He sighs. 'We're on Mount Terrebon. Where the third capsule is. I guess that's why it's so hot. It's an active volcano.'

Bloody hell.

'Is it. . . Going to erupt?'

Kass snorts. 'I assume so. That's the general idea.'

'But why –,'

'I couldn't think of anywhere else to go, okay? I had a split second to decide, and this was the first place that popped into my head. Probably 'cause Fina had just told us about it. And probably because I can't see any other way of stopping this mess. The Futurists, the Resisters. . . They're just going to blindly fight whatever we say, whatever we do, and the Ra will get away with it. Eldred will get away with it.' He spits Eldred's name, like it left a foul taste in his mouth. 'Who knows what he's done to Fina. But we have to stop him. We have to do something.'

I can't help it. Watching Kass' face underneath the sweat and the scowls: his passion, his loyalty. . . It makes me want to feel. Maybe the pain will be worth it if I can let myself feel – whatever it is – that I feel for him, too.

'What?' Kass says.

'I think you're right. We need to destroy the capsule.' I glance at Sammi, my face flushing, and hold out my hand towards her. 'The Ra have to be stopped.'

She takes it, her expression grim. 'I agree. And this way, Jinaka won't be able to retaliate. At this point, they're both as bad as each other. We just need to stop anyone else getting hurt in the crossfire.'

'And maybe Musa will be okay too, whether he deserves it or not.'

Sammi blinks, squeezing my hand. 'Thank you,' she whispers. 'So, how do we do this? It's a volcano, right? Of all us Elementalists. . . Who is best?'

Kass snorts. 'Well, honestly? Probably Fina, but seeing as she's currently running around as a bat-shit crazy Eldred puppet, let's assume she's unavailable.' He suddenly grabs Sammi's sleeve. 'Hey. Is this my cloak?'

'Oh!' Sammi blushes and hurriedly takes it off, handing it to him. 'Yeah. Sorry.'

'It's okay.' He strokes the fabric with his fingers. Then, he starts rummaging through the pockets, muttering to himself.

'What are you looking for?' I ask.

'This.' He brings out another orb, a black one this time. I instantly remember Eldred giving it to us, the one meant to take us here, to the third capsule. Kass whips back his arm and lobs it as far as he can. It sails over the cliff-side into one of the clouds, disappearing into the mist.

'Why did you do that?'

Kass sighs. 'I want that thing as far away from us as possible. Eldred laid us a trap, remember? He gave us that wormhole, saying it would take us to the third capsule. Where do you reckon it really goes?'

I think about it and shudder. 'Not sure I want to know.'

'Well, exactly. I don't want it anywhere near us in case Eldred can track it.'

'Good idea,' Sammi nods. 'Now, the volcano. We know the capsule will be marked by a flag, so Rai, use Henry to scout the area to find it. Kass, when we get near, you're going to have to deal with the ground. Maybe you can calm it down, or delay the eruption somehow. I guess I'll have to deal with the gases it releases – they'll be hot, right?'

'Yeah,' I mutter. 'And toxic. They're probably as dangerous as the lava.'

'Hmm. Fun. So, whilst Kass and I are busy that leaves you, Rai, to blow up the capsule. Think you can do it again?'

'Uh-huh.'

'Shall we climb?'

We look at each other and nod. Then, Kass does something unexpected: he pounds his forehead with his fist, and before I know it, Sammi and I have returned the gesture. For some reason, the RESIST salute seems oddly fitting. I climb on Henry's back, grateful to be able to fly. My legs have turned to jelly.

'You ready for this, buddy?'

Henry's lights flicker, dimmer than I'd like.

'Good. Let's go.'

*

The climb allows Kass to fill Sammi in on everything that happened with Fina and Eldred in the Living Caves. I leave them to it, kicking off from the rocks and Henry darts into the air like a bottle from a cork. Something is definitely wrong; his insides are making curious crunching noises and he keeps jerking to the left, beeping balefully at me. But there's nothing I can do about it.

'Just a bit further, that's it.' I pat his side and lean forwards, trying to be as streamlined as possible as we swerve through the mist, and up towards the summit.

I bet Mount Terrebon was once beautiful. Even at such high altitude, it's still scattered with ancient tree-trunks that a hundred years ago must have looked incredible. I imagine, for a moment, lush green leaves and pink blossoms, the ground covered with soft, feathery moss and blades of tickling grass, the odd trumpet of steam escaping through cracks in the rocks.

But if any of that ever existed, it was a long time ago. There's no life in the magnificent beast now; it's been abused, overworked, for far too long. I feel a stab of sympathy for it before I shake my head, banishing the feeling back to the underworld of wherever exiled feelings go.

Terrebon rumbles, a deep furious drum beat below the earth. It's a monster beating its chest, growling and snarling at us to get away, right now. Pebbles and stones skitter across the surface as the ground quivers, like the rocks are shaking their fists at Henry and I. Henry's lights fade.

The higher we fly, the more concentrated the mist becomes; I cough, shielding my face with my arm as a cloud of scalding ash and smoke spurts from a crevice. Henry swerves to avoid it; I cling on with my knees and hold my breath, my hair sticking to my cheeks.

Maybe I won't find the flag? The rumbling is getting worse, with more bursts of boiling ash spraying from the rocks with every passing minute. I can barely see through the smoke. Even with our powers, I realise, there's no way we can stop a full-blown eruption. We just aren't powerful enough. Maybe, if Fina was with us. But the three of us don't stand a chance.

But just as I'm starting to lose hope - there. Near the top, nestled between steep rocky peaks is a crater; I duck down, steering Henry lower so that I can see over the rim and find out what's inside. My heart leaps - it's a lake. I've never been so glad to see water before. And next to it is an enormous silver block, a giant boulder, topped with a blue flag. It shines as the light hits it, but for all it masquerades as metal, I know what it really is.

The last visinium capsule.

I fly back down to Kass and Sammi, who are still struggling up on foot. 'It's up there! There's a lake and the capsule's behind it!'

Kass is already panting and coughing. If he's this bad already, I dread to think what he'll be like at the summit.

'Great,' he wheezes. 'Fancy giving us a lift?'

'I'm not sure Kass will make it, otherwise,' Sammi says, wiping sweat off her forehead as I land beside her.

I fly Sammi up first, leaving her by the lake to go back down for Kass. I know she can take care of herself, but I still feel uneasy leaving her up there all alone.

'What if it blows before we get there?' I shout into the wind. Kass makes a much worse flying partner than Sammi - he clings on far too tight around my waist, grumbling into my neck.

'Then we're all dead. Sammi will just be dead first,' is his helpful reply.

Luckily, it doesn't. But still, we have to hurry. I let Kass jump down from Henry's back, landing with a relieved huff beside Sammi, who's exactly where I left her, perched on the edge of the lake. A crack appears by her feet, and a sudden burst of steam erupts from the gap - they leap aside, Sammi pushing Kass backwards out of the way. Henry swerves to avoid it and I feel the hiss of my hair being singed.

'Holy crap,' Kass whispers. 'We're going to be boiled alive up here.'

'Don't say that,' Sammi snaps, as the crack begins to rumble. 'We'll be quick. Maybe we won't even need to do anything. Let's just blow the stupid thing up before the mountain can -,'

Boom.

With an almighty blast, the crack in the earth bursts apart. A catapult of scalding-hot gas explodes from inside, hurling us aside. I'm thrown from Henry, landing heavily on my back but I can't see - another spurt of charcoal-grey plumes erupts from the gap, plunging us into thick, dark smoke.

So hot -

I cough, rubbing my eyes. 'Sammi?' I push myself to my feet, the force of my own chokes starting to scare me. Is this how Kass feels all the time? I don't know what's worse. The choking, or the blindness. 'Kass?'

Then I feel another force, just as strong but approaching from the side. The smoke is being repelled in a violent sweeping wave, and when I raise my head, shielding my eyes, I see her.

Sammi.

She's on her feet, hair whipped back from her face, arms outstretched warding the gas away. Her wave evolves, folding in on itself; rather than forcing the smoke away, Sammi seems to now be twisting it into a spiral around herself. A dark whirlpool of smoke, with her at the centre.

'We're lucky the blast was small!' she shouts; I can barely hear her over the roars echoing from Terrebon's belly.

I hobble forwards, aiming for the lake. Just knowing water is nearby is comforting, even in this hell. But then I glance over my shoulder.

'Kass!'

He's crouched on all fours a little way behind Sammi. At first, I think he's choking. I take one last desperate look at the lake, then run in the opposite direction.

'I'm here.' I sink down beside him with a hand on his back. 'Can you -,'

But Kass completely ignores me. And then I realise. He's talking to the earth.

'It's okay,' he wheezes, digging his nails deeper into the dirt. 'Calm down, it's okay -,'

He shudders as shocks from the earth spasm through his body. More cracks start to appear in the ground.

'Kass?'

'Being a volcano,' he says through gritted teeth. 'Feels like crap.'

'Are you okay?'

'Uungh,' he grunts, scrunching up his eyes, his arms burrowing into the rock almost down to his elbows. 'CALM DOWN.'

But it's not working. At least, not well enough - a small viscous stream of lava splutters from one of the holes. It oozes towards us, a great, pulsating slug of the deepest, brightest orange.

'Crap, crap, crap.'

Now, all around us, the cracks are belching out great bulbous splurges of lava - they're gathering speed, but not particularly quickly. I dodge them easily, then try to pull Kass out of the way; but he's lodged in so deep he doesn't budge.

I act without thinking.

'STOP.'

My hand rises, like I'm summoning water - the lava streams hesitate.

They don't quite stop. Nor do they rise up, like water would.

But, they do slow down, gurgling and bubbling as though blocked by an invisible barrier, popping in splatters that sizzle on the rotten tree-trunks, giving Kass time to extricate himself from the rocks and wriggle out of their way. I can feel them fighting against me, straining from my control in a way water never does. They are liquid, I can sense the fluidity of the particles, flowing against each other with familiar irregularity, but there's a heaviness, a lethargy to their movements that I'm not used to. And the heat - I'm used to the warmth of my powers, but never from the liquid itself. I instinctively cover my hands with my protective sheath.

For now, it's enough that the lava slows. Because I can't stop more spurting out. All I can do is bide us some more time.

Kass frees himself and collapses, panting on all fours. 'That was close.' He coughs, wiping his lips on his arm. 'I forgot you could -' He pauses. His face drains of colour. 'GET ON HENRY, NOW.'

I don't pause to consider. Henry's by my side in an instant; abandoning the lava, I jump aboard and zoom away as the mountain heaves.

'NO!'

The ground under Kass' feet rips in two; he straddles them, a hand and foot on each, straining to literally push the halves back together. I fly over his head, trying to catch the lava flows again and divert them away from him, but it's like trying to catch a hundred flies in one net all at the same time - impossible.

By the time I've slowed one flow, another's almost trickles onto him. I looped around Kass, bearing lower. I can hear his strangled cries above the crashes and bursts and bellows, turning to tears as I start to descend. I see him lose his grip and slip, scrambling in his haste to get out of the way -

More lava rises from the gap.

'Hold on!' I swoop down, lowering my arms towards him. He reaches up and grabs my hand, but it's too slick with sweat. Henry shoots off from momentum and swings us back round.

'Please,' I beg, barely able to see through the haze of hair and sweat dripping into my eyes. 'Please.' I dry my hand hastily on my trousers as this time, I can't miss - I can't let anything happen to him -

But with an almighty roar, Kass swings his legs out from inside the hole and slams the edges of the rocks together; they reverberate, pebbles flying through the air.

'Stay closed, you piece of crap -,'

His voice is drowned out by another loud bang. This time, it's Sammi I have to worry about - I'd almost forgotten her in the chaos. A fountain of gas just spurted a hundred feet into the air by Sammi's whirlwind; she staggers, trying to force it away from us as hard as she can, her feet scrabbling at the ground.

'Hurry!' she screams.

Then Kass cries out, and again my attention is torn away. His arms are wrenched apart as the gap blasts from the gap he was trying to hold together, spewing ash and globules of lava. Kass is blown aside in a storm of debris.

I hesitate, torn between who to help. My hand reaches out to him - but then out of nowhere, something hits me in the head and I'm flung from Henry's back.

Stars swim in front of my eyes.

I wake up on the ground, flat on my back inches from the lava. For a moment, I just lie, stunned. Then, my body begins to roll down the rocky ledge away from the summit.

Whether it's the wound on my head, or the thickness of the air - everything becomes a blur. I don't know - I can't see.

But Kass is calling me.

So, I have to go.

'Where are you?'

'Over - uhuh - over here.'

Raising up onto my elbows, I drag myself towards Kass' voice, ducking under my arms to shield myself from further falling rubble. Then, tucked behind a boulder, I finally find Kass cowering in a ball with his head in his knees.

Grabbing his shoulders, I wrench myself upright. 'What are you doing?'

'It's over.' His voice is muffled. I reach towards him, but he flinches away. 'I'm useless. You may as well not have me here. We can't do this. I can't do this.'

'You can.' I force Kass' arms away from his face and cup his chin, tilting it up so I can see into his eyes. 'You can do this.'

'I'm not like you and Sammi. Your powers come so easy, they're like breathing to you. But even breathing is hard for me - everything is so goddamn hard for me -,'

'No. You're thinking about your powers all wrong. You and RESIST, you think our powers are all about anger and grief. They think of earthquakes and hurricanes and assume we're the same, just forces of revenge and destruction. But we're not. You're not. You're about life.'

My fingers nestle in his hair as he blinks up at me. 'Titus always said that my powers were my reflection. Water's always so strong - you can't hurt it, or break it, it just flows around, finding a new way. When I use my powers, I feel strong too - I feel free.

'And yours reflect who you are, too. You're the Elementalist of solids. Of the ground itself. So, fix it. It's not a battle, so don't fight. Your job is to heal, to be solid and dependable. You can do this, Kass. Trust me.'

'How do you know?' His voice is so small.

Lava trickles past us, and the earth judders and roars. I look around for anything to help. There - a withered tree root, nestled between the rocks. I grab Kass' hand and yank him forwards, pressing it onto the root, my hand cupped over his.

'What are you -?'

'Elemental symbiosis.' I concentrate, scrunching up my face, willing the water inside me to flow through Kass' hand and into the root. 'Look.'

Gently, I lift up Kass' hand. Underneath, lies the tiniest, sweetest, green leaf.

Kass stares at it, back to his hand, then back to the leaf. His face a picture of shock. 'But, how -?'

'I told you. Life.' And even though it's last thing I want to do, I let him go. My fingers slip away, and I whip around to face Henry. 'How do you feel about one last ride, buddy? We need to get to the capsule now.'

'Beep boop,' Henry sighs, his anterior lights flashing.

Kass' eyes widen as I leap back on Henry. 'Don't -,'

'You can do this. I promise.' My voice is lost as I soar back over the edge towards the crater.

I just hope I can.

I have to stop trying to protect them. I just have to trust them. So I can finally do the job we came here to do.

We fly past Sammi, locked in a fierce dance with the mists. Torrents of gas pour from beneath her feet, and she hops and skips between them, her hands guiding the air in a series of loops around her head. Then she flings her arms out - the mist spirals out from her fingertips, in a wave that spreads across the crater. It's so fast, so intense, it sweeps up everything in its path; rocks hurtle through the air, and I duck and weave through them. The water in the lake is blown out over the side of the crater -

Wait. What?

The water. Of course.

But how to catch it. . .

'Go, Rai! The capsule!' Sammi shrieks.

I have to hurry. Henry dives and I realise: this is just another race, another track for me to conquer. Except this time? I can use my powers.

A tingle spreads through my body, all the way to my fingertips, to my toes. I let the feeling of blissful emptiness, of nothingness, of fluidity, take me away, away from everything. . .

And then, I dance.

The water heaving inside the crater, disturbed by Sammi's whirlwind, hears my silent call. And it answers.

Every drop, every splash, stops in its tracks then twirls towards me, surrounding Henry and I in a halo of shimmering waves. The volcano shudders, lava spurting out in a fountain. With a wave of my hand, I send a stream of water to greet it - they collide and embrace with a satisfying hiss.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can just about make out Kass heaving himself up over the rocks. My heart soars - I knew he could do it - as he sinks his arms into the earth once more, his eyes closed, and it almost sounds like he's singing, begging it to be still, to be silent.

Maybe, I think, the three of us can actually do this. Maybe, together, there's nothing we can't control.

Encased in my shimmering sphere of water, Henry and I spin over the crater and down towards the flag; I jump from Henry's back and let the wave wash me over to the huge, metallic-grey stone.

It's dazzling. Lava splatters down on top of me, a rain of fire, but I'm fine, wrapped in my bubble. It sizzles, and for a moment my heart wavers as the unimaginable, oppressive heat boils through the water around me. . .

But then the lava cools. And blackens. Disintegrating into ash that's immediately swept away.

Now, I finally have a chance to look, to really look, at the capsule.

And time, fire, water, my friends - everything fades away.

The gamma-cap is no different from the others. The person trapped inside - of course, there's a person - must have been watching us this entire time. I wonder if they're impressed with what they've seen. If they've been scared. I wonder what it's like to be frozen, stuck, watching this nightmare all day, every day. Without respite, without end.

There's hardly anything left. Of him, or her. Just a ghostly pair of eyes, a dusting of eyelashes, the tip of a nose, and some reaching, grasping fingertips. The rest of the poor soul's body has been completely engulfed in the visinium parasites.

An inscription has been carved into the base of the column. I look down, and read aloud: 'I love you, Adita. Come home to me.'

The stone-grey eyes flood, and overflow.

I don't hesitate. I don't even think.

I place my hand to the front of the capsule, and remind myself that no one in this world can escape death forever. And whilst for me, death means fear, for this soul? It means freedom.

And suddenly, a longing, a deep innate craving swells in my heart. It's so fierce and unexpected, I nearly choke. I want to feel this.

Kass is right; this person deserves for me to feel their death.

And Dove deserves me to feel hers too.

And Cherry, and Quail, and Buffalo, and Titus, and every other person I've lost in my life.

Maybe the child I never got to be deserves it too.

I take a deep breath, and let my other hand creep up to the filters on my neck. The pads that have sucked the life and heart out of me for as long as I can remember.

And for some reason, the strangest of Kass' words come to me before the end.

'Don't you dare. Don't you even dare.'

But Kass, don't you see? For you, I do dare. You make me dare. You make me realise that even though this person, this capsule, is dead, I'm alive, and I deserve to be -

And I rip the emotion filters from my neck, whilst blasting the particles in the capsule apart with all the strength I can muster.

'Henry!'

My knees buckle - Henry scoops me up and flies me away, as pain - searing, soul-destroying, gut-wrenching agony - swells up inside me consuming everything.

Everything -

The capsule bursts into a thousand pieces.

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