‘I exist.’

*Huuu

I got up from the bed.

No need for any drama or questions, I knew exactly what happened. My ribs still hurting corroborated my recollection of it.

I looked down at my perfectly fine body, not deformed, nor bandaged.

‘Magic is OP.’

I glanced around, knowing that my omniscience did not fail me. I had no questions, and quite honestly, didn’t think much. A blank slate I would suppose, but this debate would devolve from a philosophical inquiry down to monkeys flinging shit at each other about the nature of “blank” and if one could truly be blank. It would be fun to watch idiots with 300 IQ argue, but if my knowledge does not fail me, Twitter does not exist in this world.

That said, if such a social media platform did exist, some people would be mad and cancel me for being an unrealistic character… Charac—whoops, I meant human. And as a stupid ape, I had the responsibility of asking negligible questions at every passing moment so I could slide in the most exposition as possible. After all, that was how reality worked. And movies portrayed it all too realistically. Shall I show you how a true protagonist wakes up in fashion?

'Ahem.'

Anyway, here goes. Tell me if my impression is wrong:

***

‘Where am I? What happened? Who am I?’

I glanced down at an unfamiliar object, curious as to what happened to me. That which was usually protruding was no longer protruding. Its disappearance only drew my attention, making my worry increase as the tense atmosphere escalated the room temperature.

I couldn’t rise for some reason. It didn’t heed commands like it used to—Something… Something was terribly wrong.

My blood that normally flowed fluently had clogged, frozen solid, it may have even been milked out without my knowledge; dried to the boniest of bones.

As I continued my contemplation, parts of my brain degenerated into feces. The unanswerable questions returned, juggled around in my brain with no clear sight. I couldn’t think.

Just what was going on? It was a mystifying phenomenon I couldn’t quite lay my hands on.

At dawn, it is expected for the sun to rise. And yet, it appeared as if time had stopped entirely, lacking the secure sense brought about by sheer determinism.

‘Why did I feel so flaccid?’

With a grimace, I could only look down again and acknowledge what was to be. I could no longer muster the courage nor strength to get up. It was an inevitability that came with age. Was this how it felt?

‘How disappointing.’

I could only shake my head at myself for being foolish. After all, what was the morning without dew?

The fuck am I doing with my life? Just because I’ve fallen and can’t get up…

With nothing else to do, I peered down once more with a sense of loss. A sentiment was all that was left. A small drop.

‘...’

‘Why do I have such a small dick?’

With the obligatory attention provided, I proceeded to breakdance out of nowhere, then did a backflip and snapped the bad guy’s neck. Bad guy? Where?

Just kidding. I was checking if there was some parasitic animal in my mind that was reading my thoughts like a book—can’t have that now, can we?

“Hey, you. You’re finally awake.” A familiar dialogue popped up.

Knowing me, I responded in a perfectly sane manner, “What? Did I accidentally walk into an imperial ambush after trying to cross the border?”

“Border? What are you on about? This is the infirmary.” The voice said, rejecting my insanity.

I could have sworn I knew what I was talking about, but I guess not. Déjà vu was a weird and indescribable feeling.

‘Where have I heard that dialogue before, though?’

It was just on the tip of my tongue too. Oh well. My lingering attachment to it kept it hanging, but I knew it had no relevance to the conversation.

In reply I said to the confused professor, “Just checking,”

Though I had to say it was strange to see Eigenvalue with his stereotypical wizard’s hat off.

Minus the beard, he looked a lot like the KFC guy… Wait—no. His hair was a lot longer and crisper. It was more like an anime-fied version of the colonel. I feel like that was a thing. Was it a thing? Either way, he looked like that guy if the guy were drawn in an anime fashion. It didn’t quite match his beard so I can see why he usually wore a hat.

“If you’re all healed, you can go. It’s already about, what was it?—11?—12? It’s lunchtime so go eat. Don’t worry about the classes you missed, I excused the absences for you.”

I gave him a long gaze before diverting.

“Thanks.” I got up without a word and left. What else was I supposed to say?

And while I had not eaten the entire day, my stomach was not fazed at all. The same went for my drowsiness. It could have been because I just rested up, but I knew it was something else. As for what, I think I knew, but I may have been wrong. It was strange to accept the idea that this body was acclimating to my diet pattern I had cultivated for years on end in a distant body.

As for my sleeping, it could be attributed to my “meditation” which was really just manipulating the mana in and out of my body like an electric circuit. I have heard of some monks that could survive days on end without sleep and food by training the mind through meditation; probably a hoax though.

I wasn’t exactly a science person, but I knew only idiots would subject themself to such torture just so they could boast about their ability to not sleep. After all, why go through with this Sisyphean task when you could simply boast without repercussions to your health? The same accusations from empiricists who demand video proof would still chase you to the end of Earth. They’d do it with a smug smile at that; as if they knew all the secrets of the universe. That’s what social media banter is, after all.

‘I kind of miss it.’

I was starting to have traitorous thoughts and I didn’t like that.

Some things just don’t change while other things change all too fast, don’t they?—Heh.

Anyway, back to something relevant, where the hell is that training facility?

I thought about going back to ask but decided not to. I’d just end up embarrassing myself and be an inconvenience to the professor.

He told me to grab lunch with good intentions so if I did anything other than that, it would make him think of me as someone who didn’t listen. And it made sense since it was only natural for someone waking up hospitalized to find sustenance. Though, I could care less about my body… That came out a bit…

It wasn’t that I wasn’t taking care of it—no. If anything I was doing my best to take care of myself.

If a situation with no food and no time for rest were to befall me, it would be hard to adapt. So it was best to keep vigilance at all times, even as a practice. They say practice made perfect, but habit and reflex is the only thing anyone can truly rely on.

‘Where the hell am I?’

The infrastructure of the building was familiar but at the same time, unique to the one I thought I knew. It had the same pale bricks and bright shine raining down from the vacant windows. Everywhere I looked was symmetrical to a fault with no deviation.

I admit I was lost. But with time, I was bound to navigate my way out. It wasn’t like a maze or anything. It did have the same vacancy as a maze, though—oh? A passing NPC?

“Excuse me, do you happen to know the way outside?” I said to a student around the corner.

He was about as tall as an adult, multiple times taller than me. The only reason I figured out he was a student was because of the same white uniform I used to wear.

“Eh? Are you talking to me?” He turned around with what I thought was a frightened look, that is until he realized no one was—fuck, it’s not my fault that I’m a midget.

‘Stop giving that blank expression to the air like you heard a ghost.’

“Ah! Eh, were you talking to me?” It was only when he realized I was below his eyes did he resume the strange manner of speaking.

“Yeah. Do you happen to know the nearest exit?”

“Exit? Exit as in? Uh? Exit, like… Yeah, there’s an exit.” His reply was erratic, making me wonder if people normally spoke like that. Was he French or something?

Then again, I don’t talk to people often so I shouldn’t be judging.

“Yeah, can you show me?”

“Ah! Yes! Of course.” He nodded and started guiding me.

His neck and back were hunched the whole time. And it wasn’t just that, his general posture was garbage by my standards. His chest could literally concave inward with a well-placed uppercut. Don’t even get me started on the spine—the damned thing was frickin stronger than Spider-man when he stopped that train. I didn’t know how it had not snapped with a loud “Crk” yet.

His entire body was begging to be punched, yet the way he carried himself made it more cutesy—to me at least. Think: a two-legged dog whimpering about trying to find shelter in a rainstorm.

To certain people, such could be considered rude. Maybe some experimentalist would even hit him to see what would happen. It was a curiosity to see what would happen next: would his back break or would his spine prevail? I wasn’t sadistic enough to do that though, so I held myself back.

These physical flaws, he should already know—at least I hope he knew. The long-term effects would be catastrophic, making his eventual twenties feel more like eighties. And out of all the people I have seen so far apart from my alleged parent, he was the only one with black hair waiting to turn grey. Everyone else… Welp, the genetics of this world’s humans were definitely a lot different from the homo sapiens I knew.

“Ah, the exit is here.” He brought me to a door.

It was a casual walk with nothing interesting to note other than the uncharacteristic appeal of this young man. That timidness did not suit his stature. To a point, I was even starting to wonder if it were all an act.

The aura he emitted was very familiar to me yet different in all the ways I recognized.

A plethora of the strongest people I knew were humble which could be mistaken as feebleness, the same as this person. But I was more than certain he had no power to carry himself like those I knew. It was more like the deprecating aura of a man on his way to uncertainty: not to heaven, nor hell. For such a man, he didn’t know himself.

“...” I looked at him once more before turning to the door.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen such a person—well, most people were like that, it was just that some couldn’t hide it like everyone else so they were ostracized. That was the disappointing truth.

‘Meaninglessness is not pessimism.’

I remembered those words all too well from that bastard. It was that damned guy again. Always smiling. And always laughing at me.

I looked at the student with a sense of camaraderie but realized immediately that I was mistaking him for someone else.

And indeed, if people were to be categorized between alpha males and beta cucks, this guy was the latter. In a more intuitive analogy: between the bully and the victim, he was the eternal victim damned to his fate of rolling a rock up an unending hill.

There was no hope for him. Perhaps.

But such an absurd change is unlikely. Though in the case if it were to happen, his life would change for the better.

‘But would he be happy?’

Such a question had no answer from me, who knew nothing about this person. I could always shove it off with a, “Why should I care?” But what value does that bring? Maybe if I spent more time analyzing this person, I could imagine him happy… Huh. I’m being stupid here.

Why was I wasting time thinking of this bullshit?

I was exempt from the cycle he was subjected to. After all, I had no dignity to my name. I'm no observer.

I had no reason to care, and especially no incentive to want to. My sympathy and empathy could only extend so far, and it wasn’t deserved by anyone like him. I’d cut it off again for my well-being.

“Thanks.” I tossed a small ball, not expecting anything from a disabled puppy.

“...N-no problem.”

I could only send my melancholy grin forward as I went on my way, relearning something I already knew.

‘Don’t you ever get bored?’

‘Why do you ask? It’s fun.’

And I would look naively, thinking, ‘How meaningless.’

‘But what meaning is there for you to train so hard every day?’

‘Because I want to.’

‘Just because you want to?’

I didn’t really understand him then. I still don’t.

‘If you can do it, why not go for it?’

He would always smile when I gave him the finger.

Fuck You