“Daniel! Are you alright?!”

“...”

“Can you hear me?”

This must be what is called déjà vu…

“Helloooooo, are you alive?”

‘Kids these days…’

“Wake up!!!”

‘Should I play dead?’

“Are you alright?” She gave a quick poke at my stomach, but that much wasn’t going to induce a laugh.

“Do I need to… again…”

It was only when the poking broke rhythm that my sixth sense triggered. “A bad omen was about to befall me,” was what it was telling me. While in normal instances, my rational mind and my intuitive mind would have a clash of wits, but at this moment they both came to a consensus.

‘I have to get—’

“Hyaaa!”

*Bonk

My body went limp again and I was even questioning how I had not been concussed a million folds over already. Maybe I had and I couldn’t recall any of it; which was both a good thing and very telling of the next dangerous thing if I did not get up.

[The System advises the Host to not get up.]

‘I’m definitely getting up now—’

“Hyaaa!”

The moment a stray wind climbed down my hair, I made haste in crunching inward like a fetus to protect my head. While I did not expect that small movement to evade the attack, it was more than enough to stop the recurring blows to the—

*Bonk

[A title has been created to congratulate the Host’s accomplishment.]

~~~~~~~~~~

Masochist:

Requirement: Willingly be hit by someone 5 times to the head.

Strength +1

~~~~~~~~~~

[Growth requires rest. Advancement into the first level will be halted.]

‘Fucking…’

It was only at the back of my skull, but it hurt. Had it hit any soft part like my neck, I would have become a vegetable. And becoming a vegetable was exactly what a concussion does to people.

I couldn’t see the attack since my face was resting on the ground, but I knew at some point, the axe swing morphed into a golf swing. It was the same as throwing a curveball that moved down to the right, but then out of nowhere started spinning backward like a boomerang. It was physically impossible.

But this wasn’t the right time to use my brain to sew similes together—I had to get up.

My vision was still wobbly from the attack. If I remembered correctly, there was a sword somewhere near my legs.

I tangled upward and used that swinging momentum to propel myself into a roll. While my eyesight wasn’t helping much, I happened to end up right in front of the sword which I took no hesitation to grip with all my strength.

“Hyaaa!”

I maneuvered myself toward the girl and whipped my sword at the incoming weapon. I didn’t know why I counterattacked instead of holding it up with both arms to block, but in the end, my sword deflected hers away from me. It was an opportunity I had to take advantage of to subdue her, so I dropped my sword and rushed her.

I could no longer hear my heartbeat or anything else for that matter, but I could see everything—my vision expanded past my peripherals.

She was still holding on to the sword with both hands but judging by the rate at which it was returning to the center-line, that is, facing towards and threatening me, she wasn’t going to win.

At least not with her hands occupied.

‘Don’t hurt her.’

Just as I was in front of her, I pulled back my clenched fists to relax them. It was stupid to beat up a child.

With one arm, I threw it around her neck and rendezvoused it with my other arm that came around her hip. After all, to dismantle an aggressor, all it took was a tight hug filled with love.

This achieved two of my goals: to stop her from swinging that wooden stick, and to restrict her movements.

While I have never used a sword or fought anyone who did, I knew enough that the power of a sword was generated from the entire movement of the body—just like any other punch. And much like a punch, the direction a sword swung was affected by the mobility of the arms and hands. In such a clinch, it would be hard to do much of anything unless she let go of her sword.

‘It’s going to be a problem if she knees me.’

As she was struggling to get out of my grasps, I walked even closer, squeezing her legs between my own pair. That ought to suppress her leg movement too.

“Ehh, what are you doing?”

“I’m stopping you from hitting me.”

“But you’re too close!”

“No, this is how it is,” I responded a little breathless.

The current me lacked stamina—and I meant stamina-stamina. My cardio health must have been shit for this small bout to drain this much of my energy.

Of course, there were a lot of things she could have done to escape this clinch, but she was probably clueless as to how to go about it. That was a mindset most people had as their first instinct in a fight would be to back off and strike from a distance.

Seeing as I wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, she pouted which I mistook as a sign that she was going to headbutt me. In that regard, I slanted my head and slid it right next to her neck, almost kissing her. But this was nothing meant to be seductive.

“Hmph, so you wanna play dirty like this?”

I couldn’t see her facial expression, but I was assuming it was an angry one. What female wouldn’t be if they were in such close proximity with a male? An outsider may have even thought I was forcing myself onto her—but alas, I’m not into children. I doubt my schlong even functioned considering how young I felt.

*Boomth

A questionable sound came to my attention, but I wasn’t going to turn my head in curiosity. That was an amateur mis—

‘What the hell?’

She somehow slid one of her arms right through to the other side. And here I thought I was hugging tight enough. Her arms were thinner than I presumed if she could slide them through our sandwiched abdomens that easily. She also did it quick enough that I wasn’t able to respond in time.

“Ey, what are you doing?” I said.

“Hmph, see how you like this!”

A chill ran down my rib cage just like how a pianist would run their fingers across a piano.

There was something very wrong with this position, but I didn’t know what…

“Heh, TAKE THIS!”

“...”

“Eh, how come you’re not laughing?” She exclaimed with a clearly fuzzled voice.

To that, I felt obligated to respond with my own twist.

“Ha ha ha,” I said between every breath, making sure to drag out the consonants.

“Ha! I got you!”

“You sure about that?”

“What?”

“I’d laugh harder at you than your tickling,” I said with a chuckle… No.

The chuckle wasn’t from the—you know what? Nevermind. It's impossible for me to laugh from merely scratching the area underneath my armpit.

“Hmph, then I’ll do the same!”

An uncanny coldness slithered across my back as I found myself hugged by someone else. It was a situation I wasn’t too well-versed in… Should I push her down? Or should I pick her up?

Pick her up and throw her?—no, those wouldn’t work. If I pushed her, it would bring both of us to the ground. And I can’t pick her up if she’s also hugging me this ti—

“What in the world are you two doing?”

It only took a single well-voiced thought for me to shiver and loosen my entire body. So much so that I lost balance. The weight hugging onto me didn’t help at all, and in fact, she worked as a shackle on my feet which allowed gravity to have free reign over what would happen next.

*Oof

“You two! What are you…”

I wanted to respond, but alas, fate is cruel.